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Real Life vs Online Slavery - 7/29/2011 10:09:20 PM

AcademyForSlaves

Posts: 712
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Hi.

There's such a difference of opinion on if online slavery is real slavery or if it's only real if it's in person, yet there's so many slaves that like being dominated online. We're all even online now as we read this forum. So what's your opinion? Do you like online slavery like we do or do you only like it in person, and why?

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Post #: 1

RE: Real Life vs Online Slavery - 7/29/2011 10:46:35 PM

KeriB

Posts: 315
Joined: 10/14/2007
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For me I want things that happen in the real world, not just in cyberspace. I want to feel, touch, taste, etc. Spanking is much better done in person with the person you want to be spanking you, rather than by a proxy or something. It's just much more satisfying in person.

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Post #: 2

RE: Real Life vs Online Slavery - 7/29/2011 11:09:45 PM

MasterNeo1

Posts: 27
Joined: 7/29/2011
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I would say person to person, is as real as it gets.
I think the reason you find slaves that like to be Dominated online, is due to the fact that they either are unable to be Dominated in Real Life, (unable to find partners, and so on..) Or, possibly wanting to get a taste of the BDSM lifestyle before incorporating it into Real Life. etc..) Of course, online slavery would lack the special connection between the Master/Mistress and His/Her slave, as it would be nowhere near as satisfying. However, I suppose online slavery might be preferred simply due to the fact that, it is not all that life altering, for those (especially Vanillas) that are not ready to make the commitment of changing their lifestyle to serve their Master/Mistress

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RE: Real Life vs Online Slavery - 7/29/2011 11:12:12 PM

willbeurdaddy

Posts: 11894
Joined: 4/8/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AcademyForSlaves

Hi.

There's such a difference of opinion on if online slavery is real slavery or if it's only real if it's in person, yet there's so many slaves that like being dominated online. We're all even online now as we read this forum. So what's your opinion? Do you like online slavery like we do or do you only like it in person, and why?

Do you like mutual masturbation? Thats basically what online D/s comes down to.

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and harken
to the barking of the dogfox,
gone to ground.

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Post #: 4

RE: Real Life vs Online Slavery - 7/30/2011 12:10:45 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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For starters, I think people need to specify the difference between "online only" and "online due to separation". I'll be very honest here. I happen to think the former is mostly bunk. I'm sure it's great for you, OP, since you are making your living from it, but most of the folks who are paying you could be doing themselves a lot more good getting out to their local BDSM community, going to munches, seeing demos, and becoming educated in the real world. Heck, they could save their money and book a session with a pro who will at least have a scene with them and they will have a physical experience that will make a great memory.

Online due to separation to Me is something entirely different. Whether that is folks who are long distance, but filling in the gaps, have business/deployment to other locations for a temporary assignment, and things of that nature. I don't consider Myself 'less' married when My husband isn't in the country. I know he'll be back in My physical world when his tour is over. The very same with clip. Online for that is just a tool between times that he's here with Me. Never sat in the same room? Whole different story. Not that I don't think it can't grow into that, but when that's not the objective, I don't really see much of the point, except to fill the purse of the 'domme' on the other end.

< Message edited by LadyPact -- 7/30/2011 12:11:16 AM >

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RE: Real Life vs Online Slavery - 7/30/2011 12:20:01 AM

JWriter

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Joined: 7/27/2011
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Been there, done that, serving. It seemed wonderful, for a while, and, very real. But, the fact is, they don't know what's going on with your life, and, it is very easy for one person to neglect the other, outright lie, and, all sorts of other bad things, while playing mind games the whole time and making that person feel like it is their fault.

So, no, I'm not a big fan of online slavery. I can't see it as at all workable, without very strict guidelines and very open communication, with so much effort being put in that it is only workable in the short term.. Or, unless it is only about playtime.

(in reply to AcademyForSlaves)

Post #: 6

RE: Real Life vs Online Slavery - 7/30/2011 12:25:13 AM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
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From: The cold bit of the UK
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when I first decided to try BDSM, I went for online. That was because I was nervous about actually 'doing' what it was I fantasised about. I had a 3 month relationship with a very nice Dom which lasted 3 months. The first couple of months were fun, but there was always something - or someone - missing. We had a great online chemistry, so we decided to meet. What a disaster! He was nothing like I'd imagined, and there was zero sexual chemistry. So that ended.

Next I found a (deliberately) short-term relationship to try things for real and discovered more about myself and my wants/needs in 3 weeks than I did in 3 months online.

The online thing was fun for a while, and helped me build up the confidence to transition to real life. It also taught me that online chemistry bears little or no relation to real life chemistry.

At the moment I'm in a real life relationship with a man who is the single parent of children, so our time together is limited. We supplement those precious hours with lots of online chat. That helps to keep the relationship alive and healthy, but it's not a substitute for the real thing.

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RE: Real Life vs Online Slavery - 7/30/2011 12:51:14 AM

OwnedFemaleFlesh

Posts: 182
Joined: 4/9/2011
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I've done both and like both. They're different, but can be satisfying in different ways. Sometimes when I play online it's because I'm single and I don't want a man in my life all the time, another time I was in a LDR and it was necessary for us to stay in touch and maintain our bond. There are some things you can't do online, but otherwise I would say 90% of stuff can be achieved.

Some people get very defensive about online not being real, or it being pathetic, or it not being proper D/s. I think the reason for this is that they are looking for a real life relationship (nothing wrong with that) and are frustrated that so many people are looking for and enjoy online relationships. Each to their own!

owned xxx

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Post #: 8

RE: Real Life vs Online Slavery - 7/30/2011 12:53:04 AM

VaguelyCurious

Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AcademyForSlaves

There's such a difference of opinion on if online slavery is real slavery or if it's only real if it's in person, yet there's so many slaves that like being dominated online. We're all even online now as we read this forum. So what's your opinion? Do you like online slavery like we do or do you only like it in person, and why?

We're all online as we read this forum, sure, but I don't think any of us are pretending that posting on it is some kind of relationship, so I fail to see your point.

As for there being so many slaves that like being dominated online, I think it's pretty clear that you and I define dominance differently. You consider selling a man audio clips of a woman's voice telling him that he's owned over and over for him to jerk off to behind his wife's back to be dominance. I'd call it business. It's dishonest to compare what you do to what we do.

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Post #: 9

RE: Real Life vs Online Slavery - 7/30/2011 2:04:00 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OwnedFemaleFlesh
Some people get very defensive about online not being real, or it being pathetic, or it not being proper D/s. I think the reason for this is that they are looking for a real life relationship (nothing wrong with that) and are frustrated that so many people are looking for and enjoy online relationships. Each to their own!

owned xxx

It's not defensive. It has to do with lacking tangible proof. In God we trust. Everybody else requires evidence.

It also has nothing to do with wanting relationships. Those who are doing online only can feel free to stay right there. I've been doing this way too long to waste the time to coddle somebody who doesn't have the balls to go to a munch or be able to be in the same physical proximity as other kinky folks. When people are still afraid to make the first step into reality, it's something they haven't conquered yet and it's a weakness on their part.

This is usually the part where folks chime in on their social phobias and/or the mental, physical, or financial limitations that they have at this time. Sorry, but a lot of folks who have the same challenges don't let those obstacles stop them.

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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Post #: 10

RE: Real Life vs Online Slavery - 7/30/2011 2:13:50 AM

MaamJay

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Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

I found online a great starting point ... but once I found it in real, online lost its charm and holds little interest for Me now. The one exception is a lovely guy I first started talking to 10 years ago ... I lost touch with him for some years, but we have found each other again through this site. he has a wonderful creative imagination and we have created our own fantasy world and 'scene' there. Not gone to the 2nd life type of thing, just through chat, but we very much enjoy this creative outlet. Along the way he has learned much about his place as a slave ... and I get the chance to do some more extreme things I probably wouldn't do in real ... lets us both go to darker places that we wouldn't do in the flesh! That is fun ... but he is definitely the exception rather than the rule! We do both hope that someday he will make it across the world for a visit ... that would be awesome but I might not want to let him go back!

Ma'am Jay aka violet[A]

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Post #: 11

RE: Real Life vs Online Slavery - 7/30/2011 2:52:23 AM

crazyml

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Joined: 7/3/2007
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To the OP:

As you say, there are lots of differing opinions over the question of whether "online" is real or not.

Equally, and dear god don't let's actually do it on this thread, there are a bazillion arguments to be had about whether "slavery" can be real or not.

It depends, I guess on your definition of "reality" and we just don't have the time to nail that question (I'd been fucking with the heads of philosophers for thousands of years after all).

Personally, I really object to the implication that "online" is somehow less "real" than face to face. I don't think the onlineness or offlineness of a relationship has any impact whatsoever on whether it's real or not.

It has lots of impacts on how that relationship can be conducted, but to suggest that I can't have a "real" relationship with someone online strikes me as utter, utter nonsense.

A couple of examples.

Sub A has a relationship with Dom B. It's online only, because she's in Saskatchewan and he's in Surbiton. They talk regularly, he controls her life, directing her to study, helping her when she needs support, and yes from time to time they have wicked awesome cam sex and both of them have wonderful orgasms. He's a part of her life, she gets her Maslows from the relationship.

It's fucking real.

Meanwhile, Sub B meets Dom B regularly for some slavery action. Between meetings there's next to no contact. The relationship is fundamentally about roleplaying and getting their rocks off together. They both get what they want from the relationship.

It's fucking real.

Now, you might ask which relationship is the more meaningful? Which represents the greatest intimacy (and intimacy can't simply be defined by skin-on-skin - what about emotional intimacy?

Personally - and this is highly subjective - I'd say that the first example describes a much more intimate, intense, and complete relationship than the second.

Another example... from the boards. I've corresponded with quite a few people on the boards. I've only met a couple in person, but I definitely have real relationships with a number of the others. Without naming names, I've chatted with some of the regs when I'm pissed off about work, I've offered advice (ha! - caveat emptor baby) to people, I care about how they're feeling and sense that they care about me.

Meanwhile, I have a neighbour who I say hello to regularly, she borrows my lawnmower from time to time. But I'd never dream of going to her and saying "fuck me, I've had a shitty day..."

Again - it's absurd to say that my relationship with person X on the boards is less "real" than my relationship with my neighbour - both relationships are real.

The difference is intensity, trust, connection, commitment.

I think you can have online only relationships that have all of those characteristics, just as you can have meat-space relationships that have none of them.

So...

The answer is - "It depends". And it doesn't depend on whether the relationship is online or offline, it depends on the intent of the two parties, the intensity with which they embrace it, the trust that they share, the connection they have and the commitment they give.

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Post #: 12

RE: Real Life vs Online Slavery - 7/30/2011 3:55:30 AM

DarkSteven

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Joined: 5/2/2008
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Online, by its very nature, involves a relationship that can be turned on and off. Now you see my Dominance, now you don't. I consider that incompatible with the depth required for my definition of slavery.

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RE: Real Life vs Online Slavery - 7/30/2011 5:21:49 AM

Epytropos

Posts: 699
Joined: 7/23/2011
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Meh. It's not for me, but then neither are a lot of things. Why must everything be "real" or "true" or else "fake?"

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RE: Real Life vs Online Slavery - 7/30/2011 5:44:40 AM

Awareness

Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
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Oh, it's fucking nonsense. Slavery is a state enforced by the regular interaction with a dominant personality, along with all the physical expressions of such. There is no such thing as online slavery, it's a total wank.

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RE: Real Life vs Online Slavery - 7/30/2011 5:59:20 AM

zephyroftheNorth

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From: The Great Frozen North
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First of all the real delineation is on/offline as both are happening in real life. Secondly I think ML nailed it perfectly. As one who has had long distance relationships, sometimes there is simply no choice but for it to be online, at least during the time the two are apart. Yes, it was real, he told me to do stuff, I did it. It was really that simple. He/they took control of my life in as much as it was possible to do so long distance. It filled the time between visits nicely and enabled continuity of our relationship.

Zeph

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RE: Real Life vs Online Slavery - 7/30/2011 6:15:58 AM

DesFIP

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From: Apple County NY
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Back when we were ldr we did a lot of online and a lot of phone. As well as seeing each other whenever we could. Hell, we met online. It was great for then, but I prefer sleeping in the same bed with him.

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RE: Real Life vs Online Slavery - 7/30/2011 6:19:57 AM

zephyroftheNorth

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From: The Great Frozen North
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So did I, Celeste, and leaving was all kinds of hell with me a soggy, weeping mess but you gotta do what you gotta do. Online and phone were poor substitutes but we lived in different countries so there was no choice. In both cases it wasn't the distance that ended the relationships it was other stuff.

Zeph

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Post #: 18

RE: Real Life vs Online Slavery - 7/30/2011 6:23:27 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: JWriter
I can't see it as at all workable, without very strict guidelines and very open communication, with so much effort being put in that it is only workable in the short term.. Or, unless it is only about playtime.

Funny, that's exactly how I feel about real time relationships. Guidelines need to be clear, communication must be open and effort must be put in for the relationship to work.

Unless it is only about playtime.

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Post #: 19

RE: Real Life vs Online Slavery - 7/30/2011 6:31:28 AM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

Ok. Lets see. I define a relationship as any situation where two people (or more) interact on a regular basis. That said, I can have online relationships, but I kinda have a problem with online slavery-mainly because vacuum tubes and microchips aren't fun to fuck.
And hey, when you cram your cock against the monitor too hard, the glass tends to break and that's mighty painful-picking splinters out of the old Johnson. So no, I ain't about anything online. I like to taste her flesh, kiss her tears, feel her twitch at a touch, smell her wetness, watch the fear/want/need/ohmygodisthatbastardabouttodothattome sweat drip down her thigh-none of which can happen online.
Lastly,

quote:

Meanwhile, I have a neighbour who I say hello to regularly, she borrows my lawnmower from time to time. But I'd never dream of going to her and saying "fuck me, I've had a shitty day..."

C'mon dude, sack up and hit that :-)

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Post #: 20

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