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HAPPY DOM - 5/18/2006 8:49:36 PM   
dogobedience


Posts: 536
Joined: 3/30/2006
Status: offline 		How many of you are happy in your life? I am talking to those uncollared one's ONLY.    

How many of you are hoping to CHANGE your life, thinking an all powerful dom will do that? FIXING all your personal problems, just because you are now collared? 



_____________________________

I start and/or reply to posts to further my abilities and share my experiences in this fantastic lifestyle.

I hope I am an intellectual instigator, making people think and or laugh and nothing more.

Tiger, proud owner of kali aka Tigerproperty
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: HAPPY DOM - 5/18/2006 8:53:02 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		Um, just a point of fact here: You are telling people only answer if they are uncollared, but then you are asking if they have all their problems fixed because they are collared.

A bit confusing.. who, exactly, is it that you want to have answer your questions?

Celeste

edited to add:: Never mind. I got it.. not worded very well, but I got it.

< Message edited by BitaTruble -- 5/18/2006 8:57:08 PM >

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to dogobedience)
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RE: HAPPY DOM - 5/18/2006 8:56:01 PM   
dogobedience


Posts: 536
Joined: 3/30/2006
Status: offline 		THANK YOU.

Hoping that a collar will fix EVERYTHING, erase the past. 

_____________________________

I start and/or reply to posts to further my abilities and share my experiences in this fantastic lifestyle.

I hope I am an intellectual instigator, making people think and or laugh and nothing more.

Tiger, proud owner of kali aka Tigerproperty

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: HAPPY DOM - 5/18/2006 9:10:57 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		Im not collared yet, and I do not have some Pollyana rose colored view of the world to think that anyone whether they be a dom or not could "fix" me. Actually I am intelligent, have a well adjusted teenager, I have awesome career plans for the future, not to mention a large family that loves and appreciates me... What needs fixing?

I will be very disheartened if I see other fellow subs saying they need someone to chase away every problem they ever had away, but if some do, thats their thing. Being a sub does not mean you are a needy person that cannot cope with life's problems. I have been single for the most part my whole life and I have tended to be able to handle my own house,. That being said I wouldnt mind someone that DESIRED to slay a a few of my dragons come along. I wouldnt mind someone to share burdens with, note I said "share" burdens, not take them away from me or me take on theirs either.... Life would sure be nicer with someone to share the road with.

On Edit: I realize that my post may sound angry, I am not angry, it is just that I have this real independent streak and being a single mom I sorta have a chip on my shoulder when I have had men assume I expected them to take care of my so-called "baggage", especially when I never expected anything of the like from anyone. So that is where I am coming from in my post....smiles... I understand you werent saying that all subs want a white knight to save them (we might want that, but know most knights need their armor polished...lol)

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 5/18/2006 9:16:01 PM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to dogobedience)
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RE: HAPPY DOM - 5/18/2006 9:43:43 PM   
HCWT1


Posts: 161
Joined: 7/7/2005
Status: offline 		Are people that shallow,to think a collar will change thir lives!.

Not collared yet,but talking to arrange a meet to move forward ect.Suppose i'm lucky haveing served for five years (domestic) in the past.
The only things i see changing are,i'll have a reason to live again and have what i do, appreciated.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: HAPPY DOM - 5/18/2006 9:56:00 PM   
dogobedience


Posts: 536
Joined: 3/30/2006
Status: offline 		GREAT REPLIES

_____________________________

I start and/or reply to posts to further my abilities and share my experiences in this fantastic lifestyle.

I hope I am an intellectual instigator, making people think and or laugh and nothing more.

Tiger, proud owner of kali aka Tigerproperty

(in reply to HCWT1)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: HAPPY DOM - 5/18/2006 10:09:23 PM   
dogobedience


Posts: 536
Joined: 3/30/2006
Status: offline 		Let me refine this. In this lifestyle since a dom should totally take you, many think that it will also fix everything. Nobody can fix everything, however a good dom will create a new beginning, and nothing more.  

_____________________________

I start and/or reply to posts to further my abilities and share my experiences in this fantastic lifestyle.

I hope I am an intellectual instigator, making people think and or laugh and nothing more.

Tiger, proud owner of kali aka Tigerproperty

(in reply to dogobedience)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: HAPPY DOM - 5/18/2006 10:31:33 PM   
ArchangelMichael


Posts: 243
Joined: 8/21/2004
From: New Orleans, LA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dogobedience

Let me refine this. In this lifestyle since a dom should totally take you, many think that it will also fix everything. Nobody can fix everything, however a good dom will create a new beginning, and nothing more.  


Maybe that's what some of us need...a new beginning.


_____________________________

"Open up your mind; Let your fantasies unwind." -The Phantom, Phantom of the Opera

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return." -Toulouse-Lautrec, Moulin Rouge

(in reply to dogobedience)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: HAPPY DOM - 5/18/2006 10:31:46 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I agree that the dom is taking the total you, flawed as that total you is. He also takes the responsibility for helping you become a better person, whatever that better means. It means he may guide you, but you are the one that still has to do the "work" of fixing yourself.

I know that I have been working on trying to better myself eveyday, but it is one of the many joys of D/s to have someone that will remind me of what will make me better. Perhaps I need someone that will tell me to skip the ice cream, or even more importantly, how to plan my graduate school schedule... You know, helpful things to make *our* lives easier... But I am still the one that has to skip the ice cream or not skip class....lol.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to dogobedience)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: HAPPY DOM - 5/18/2006 10:44:57 PM   
Slipstreme


Posts: 817
Joined: 1/1/2006
Status: offline 		To quote a famous line.

"To Err is to be Human."

There will always be mistakes, on both the submissive's and Dominant's end. There will always be trials and tribulations in life. It is through suffering that we grow as people, and it is always a hard lesson. It is a blessing and a curse. And no Collar, no Dom will be able to fix everything. There will always be hard times. It is through the perseverence of the human spirit that we can survive, cherish each other and grow, regardless of if you are Dom, Master, sub, slave, switch or nilla. Times will change, for the better or for the worse. The best we can do is survive.

My 2 cents. And I'm also a Dom.

_____________________________

Living the Dichotomy

Painslut? How about "Endorphin Junkie"?

For information about "the furry thing" please check out my profile journal entry for: 1/17/2006

Alpha of a leather family of four. Master to the slave z.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: HAPPY DOM - 5/18/2006 10:49:48 PM   
becca333


Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline 		I would have thought you'd need to be fully in touch with your own needs and feelings, and fully aware and in control, before you were ready to be collared.  Such a huge commitment can't be done if you're unsure or stressed.  You have to be at peace with yourself to give yourself totally.

Besides, nobody can 'fix' you but you.

That's not the same as wanting a partner who'll complement your talents and abilities.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: HAPPY DOM - 5/18/2006 11:08:14 PM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Dear dogobedience, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
I am of the belief that people make problems and also fix them.  A collar is not always an answer, an excuse, a magic power, an instant fix.
 
Many come to me as uncollared slaves and submissives, that have problems and think I can fix them.  I can only advise them and give my thoughts and opinions on such.
 
It is most unfortunate that individuals offering and or accepting collars will "fix" the bad in life.  Sometimes, it makes it worse; despite the best of intentions.
 
Everyone will have baggage and some issues however, hasty choices as to jump from one fry pan into another fry pan with a collar can be rather a disaster.  To many move on emotions and not rational judgments.
 
Why an individual wants a collar is very important to me.  If it is a means to escape a miserable situation--I can't help.  Perhaps a professional mental health and or judicial system can.
 
I personally rather wait and work with the uncollared submissive/slave and let them get through the issues that cause them problems.  At least they are free to move about and have the freedom to act independent of the relationship.
 
Respectfully submitted,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to dogobedience)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: HAPPY DOM - 5/18/2006 11:09:49 PM   
becca333


Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline 		LadyHugs, you're a smart woman!

(in reply to LadyHugs)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: HAPPY DOM - 5/19/2006 4:00:21 AM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline 		i am contented and unowned.  i *hope* to someday be joyful and collared, but i refuse to ever be subjected to drama and bulls**t, so if peacefulness and contentment are my future, i embrace that wholeheartedly.  i also find i make poor decisions under stress, so if my circumstances changed and i was discontent, i'd cease searching until normalcy returned.
 
And btw, it is not only submissives who *suffer* from a *white knight* illusion; many Men have told me They can *take care of me* etc.
 
candystripper

< Message edited by candystripper -- 5/19/2006 4:02:19 AM >

(in reply to becca333)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: HAPPY DOM - 5/19/2006 4:31:05 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		Beautiful reply LadyHugs!

~Lashra

(in reply to LadyHugs)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: HAPPY DOM - 5/19/2006 4:32:59 AM   
MissyRane


Posts: 1032
Joined: 5/11/2005
Status: offline 		HA! I'll just put up my fav comment here at the moment
if you're happy and you know it clap your hands*sings* and oh yes I'm gonna *CLAP*


erm when thinking about it I'm happy 99% of the time ..erm maybe it's 'cause I'm crazy lol


< Message edited by MissyRane -- 5/19/2006 4:34:00 AM >

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: HAPPY DOM - 5/19/2006 4:34:07 AM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dogobedience

Let me refine this. In this lifestyle since a dom should totally take you, many think that it will also fix everything. Nobody can fix everything, however a good dom will create a new beginning, and nothing more.  


IMHO, a Dominant creates nothing--that is where the mistakes begin--a good Dominant alone is nothing more than someone seeking--it is the dance of the D/dynamic between the two that creates the new start, the new beginning, the new chance at peace and fulfillment. I could have easily have said, a good submissive creates a new beginning for a Dominant---let us not forget it takes two to dance.

quote:

"Are people that shallow,to think a collar will change thir lives!". snipped from HCWT1



People are people and at the end of the day sadly human and in need of a sense of belonging---believing a collar will change their lives is no different than believing if they find the right mate, if they make that certain amount of money, etc etc--until people look inside for happiness--it will always be foolishly elusive.

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


(in reply to dogobedience)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: HAPPY DOM - 5/19/2006 4:39:02 AM   
piscess


Posts: 101
Joined: 5/10/2006
Status: offline 		I am extrememly happy, uncolllared, and not really rushing to change that.  For me the best relationships are built around that happiness.  To expect a Man to "fix" me would be a lot to ask..LOL  Though I am submissive, I am complete and am happy to be complete.
 
Hope that answers
 
piscess

(in reply to dogobedience)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: HAPPY DOM - 5/19/2006 8:56:35 AM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		Uncollared... happier than shit. When and if the right one comes along.... he'll know there's nothing to fix... i'm not an object that needs repair. My life right now is very much complete. The only thing a dom will do is enlarge my circle of happiness. It down right tickles me the doms that seem to think that a submissives life is so empty... incomplete... without them. And I'm refering to the ones that are trying to meet.. not the long term  established ones.... though some of those are funny as well.

I do not understand... nor ever will I guess... why SOME feel they can't survive alone. Why they HAVE to have someone to tend to... or be tended by. Makes you wonder how they got along before hand. There are alot of strong submissive/slaves out there... that don't NEED to serve... but love to serve. So i'm not refering to everyones here.

I agree with MH... a dominant one doesn't create.... they expand if anything... but I disagree with the submissive creating as well. Neither one alone creates... it's done together. Many go quite awhile before collaring... marriage... (or as I call it ... the courting era) Life doesn't begin with  collar... nor does it end without it.

Happiness.... is what you make it.... hard to make others happy if you're not happy within yourself.


_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to piscess)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: HAPPY DOM - 5/19/2006 9:00:43 AM   
dogobedience


Posts: 536
Joined: 3/30/2006
Status: offline 		Good honest answers.

The following is simply MY observation, those who can show me a better way are greatly appreciated!! 

But I bet that many think that the dom is the cure all for their problems,.good luck! I need and get total domination, however some things WILL NEVER CHANGE! I know that now and hate that failure, for me and the property.

It has happened to me several times, girls who want me to make them change their personality, weight, thought process.They are in this lifestyle for the wrong reasons (I BELIEVE). Yes, we all can conduct "boot camp" even to the point of total immersion, but even the Marines cannot change foundational things in a person. The best you can aspire is a modification of what you were born with.  Any SKILLED dom can do that for the property, but not much more.

The fact that I train you to obey specific commands that are new to you, influence your ways to serve and worship, and instill discipline and continuity of foundational structure is simply training. It will never alter your past experience, or baggage you brought to the table. I see some using BDSM as an escape.hoping that it is a cure. I for one am skilled but NOW I know my limitations in fixing an otherwise sad property.Seek out help, you will not find it here, only weak attempts as I did when I was younger and thought that through total control I could fix everything....I was a fool.......seek professional help and NOT here. No lord/master/sir/top/ GRAND PUBA Can help only mask the true situation.......get help, not play.

Ok, on a lighter (lol) note, I was a fool one time on the weight issue, for example. She saw that I work out, play tennis, eat correctly, I failed and that bothers me still, no significant weight loss. She is a fantastic property, was for me and still is now for another, and still BBW! Weight is somewhat easy to fix, but even that takes skill and TIME....of which I did not have......sorry yp!

_____________________________

I start and/or reply to posts to further my abilities and share my experiences in this fantastic lifestyle.

I hope I am an intellectual instigator, making people think and or laugh and nothing more.

Tiger, proud owner of kali aka Tigerproperty

(in reply to piscess)
Profile   Post #: 20
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