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how far do you go - 5/19/2006 2:00:32 AM

understud

Posts: 102
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline

i was curious as to how others in the bdsm lifestyle advance the goal of acceptance; not merely toleration. i would wish some day to live in my small community openly as i am. Sadly that seems unattainable at present. i could just say to hell with everyone and ignore the morals; and values or in my opinion, lack of them, of the rest of the town. Yet this is real life; and i have to make a lot of accommodations to protect the oversensitive values of of my neighbors and peers. So, how far do you go in maintaining a civil atmosphere. Do you ever go to the rallies shown on television? Have you ever gone to the large gatherings at Disney world and the like? What do you do to establish yourself as a responsible alternate lifestyle in you community without alienating everyone. Or do you even think that is possible in today's society. How did it make you feel when you had to or thought it best to accommodate the vanilla view of how you should act in public.

reaching out for ideas

always respectful; respectfully understud...

_____________________________

If you don't love and respect yourself; how the hell can you love and respect anyone else

Post #: 1

RE: how far do you go - 5/19/2006 2:05:49 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: understud
Have you ever gone to the large gatherings at Disney world and the like?

They have large BDSM gatherings at Disney World???????

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to understud)

Post #: 2

RE: how far do you go - 5/19/2006 2:10:33 AM

understud

Posts: 102
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline

miss typed; sorry that large park in central Florida, you know the one with the large mouse lol, Disney world, or Epcot center or whatever they call it now...be well and thanks for the correction...

_____________________________

If you don't love and respect yourself; how the hell can you love and respect anyone else

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 3

RE: how far do you go - 5/19/2006 2:17:01 AM

LaMalinche

Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline

Okay. . . I am gonna second mistoferin. . .

They have a large BDSM gathering at Disney World/Epcot Center????????

When is it. . . come on man, cough up the details. . .

Best,

LaMalinche

(in reply to understud)

Post #: 4

RE: how far do you go - 5/19/2006 2:19:41 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: understud
miss typed; sorry that large park in central Florida, you know the one with the large mouse lol, Disney world, or Epcot center or whatever they call it now...be well and thanks for the correction...

Last I heard, the park with the large mouse (might you mean Mickey Mouse?) is an entertainment center that is dedicated to families with children. Somehow, that just does not seem the best choice of venues for a large BDSM gathering to me.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to understud)

Post #: 5

RE: how far do you go - 5/19/2006 2:49:47 AM

UtopianRanger

Posts: 3251
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: understud

i was curious as to how others in the bdsm lifestyle advance the goal of acceptance; not merely toleration. i would wish some day to live in my small community openly as i am. Sadly that seems unattainable at present. i could just say to hell with everyone and ignore the morals; and values or in my opinion, lack of them, of the rest of the town. Yet this is real life; and i have to make a lot of accommodations to protect the oversensitive values of of my neighbors and peers. So, how far do you go in maintaining a civil atmosphere. Do you ever go to the rallies shown on television? Have you ever gone to the large gatherings at Disney world and the like? What do you do to establish yourself as a responsible alternate lifestyle in you community without alienating everyone. Or do you even think that is possible in today's society. How did it make you feel when you had to or thought it best to accommodate the vanilla view of how you should act in public.

reaching out for ideas

always respectful; respectfully understud...

Stud :

Some super friendly advice.... You might want to change your font slightly, there's something about it that makes it hard to read. It's not the color, but the type.

- R

_____________________________

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

-General George S. Patton

(in reply to understud)

Post #: 6

RE: how far do you go - 5/19/2006 3:15:54 AM

LaMalinche

Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline

I always knew that Minnie was a Domme. . .

Best,

LaMalinche

(in reply to UtopianRanger)

Post #: 7

RE: how far do you go - 5/19/2006 3:44:38 AM

Phoenixandnika

Posts: 748
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: Aberdeen Maryland
Status: offline

A leather clad Minnie with a flogger.

Is that like a bdsm barbie?

*laughs*

Seriously though Disney World holds bdsm gatherings?

I would think this would be perceived as bad business for a "family oriented" venue.

But stranger things have happened.

_____________________________

"Life is neither a bed of roses nor a carpet of thorns, it's just what you make of it."

(in reply to LaMalinche)

Post #: 8

RE: how far do you go - 5/19/2006 3:51:19 AM

LaMalinche

Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline

Gives a whole new meaning to win the players win the SuperBowl and say that what they are doing next is: "I am going to DisneyWorld"

Best,

LaMalinche

Revenge is a dish best served repeatedly!

(in reply to Phoenixandnika)

Post #: 9

RE: how far do you go - 5/19/2006 4:07:57 AM

feastie

Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline

I know someone that lives very near Disney, visits Disney almost weekly and has never said anything about a BDSM gathering there of any sort. Maybe it's a covert gathering? Or maybe it's wishful thinking.

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to LaMalinche)

Post #: 10

RE: how far do you go - 5/19/2006 4:09:47 AM

understud

Posts: 102
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline

UtopionRanger; appreciate the advice, but it is more likely the typist than he type lol. Cheech just wanted to know how people deal with the everyday bull shit of the straight communities...i saw a group being telivised one day at a Disney property and mentioned, it as an example of publicity. Now i realize it was called Gay Daze.....not bdsm daze...stupid me, but the question remains. How to deal with narrow minded selfrigitious; intollerant assholes ...lol

embarassed and but his lumps

always respectful, respectfully understud

_____________________________

If you don't love and respect yourself; how the hell can you love and respect anyone else

(in reply to UtopianRanger)

Post #: 11

RE: how far do you go - 5/19/2006 4:11:11 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: feastie

I know someone that lives very near Disney, visits Disney almost weekly and has never said anything about a BDSM gathering there of any sort. Maybe it's a covert gathering? Or maybe it's wishful thinking.

Yup, I could see it happening at Warner Brothers....some character was always tying up some other character in those cartoons....and that Wile E Coyote was really into fireplay....but not Disney.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to feastie)

Post #: 12

RE: how far do you go - 5/19/2006 4:13:33 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: understud
How to deal with narrow minded selfrigitious; intollerant assholes ...lol

always respectful

Oh the irony.....

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to understud)

Post #: 13

RE: how far do you go - 5/19/2006 4:20:49 AM

Phoenixandnika

Posts: 748
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: Aberdeen Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: understud

UtopionRanger; appreciate the advice, but it is more likely the typist than he type lol. Cheech just wanted to know how people deal with the everyday bull shit of the straight communities...i saw a group being telivised one day at a Disney property and mentioned, it as an example of publicity. Now i realize it was called Gay Daze.....not bdsm daze...stupid me, but the question remains. How to deal with narrow minded selfrigitious; intollerant assholes ...lol

embarassed and but his lumps

always respectful, respectfully understud

Intolerance for something differernt is natural. It is human nature to condemn or fear what you do not understand. I personally do not think that "vanilla folks" are the only intolerant people that lifestylers or kinksters deal with. I think even among various alternative lifestyle communities there is alot of animosity and judgement. Again I personally think this is natural.

_____________________________

"Life is neither a bed of roses nor a carpet of thorns, it's just what you make of it."

(in reply to understud)

Post #: 14

RE: how far do you go - 5/19/2006 4:34:52 AM

piscess

Posts: 101
Joined: 5/10/2006
Status: offline

understud,

As far as you feel comfortable in doing so.

I don't. I see no reason to try and explain my lifestyle choices to anyone. Some friends know, a couple of family members know, but my community, no.

piscess

(in reply to understud)

Post #: 15

RE: how far do you go - 5/19/2006 4:48:11 AM

LaMalinche

Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: understud

How to deal with narrow minded selfrigitious; intollerant assholes ...lol

Ummm. . . JUST DON'T

Best,

LaMalinche

(in reply to understud)

Post #: 16

RE: how far do you go - 5/19/2006 5:47:03 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Oh I fully think it's going to happen- just not for a few generations yet.

Yes, I care. I want to be able to talk about my partners as easily as others talk about their husbands. I want to be able to say "We went to the dungeon last night" as easily as others say "We went to a party last night."

I want it to be completely NOT a big deal.

And I think, given a few generations, it will happen.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to understud)

Post #: 17

RE: how far do you go - 5/19/2006 6:04:51 AM

denika

Posts: 619
Joined: 8/30/2005
Status: offline

I am just me, I've never hidden my sexuality, or our choice of lifestyle but I don't flaunt it either. If someone asks I am honest and tell them straight out. I also have a good sense of discretion. Just because my family understands doesn't mean others will. I have been to Pride events and many other lifestyle geared events.
Mind you, I would find it just as rude and annoying to have a 'sociaty norm' yelling in my face that they are straight, monogomous and proud of it as I do the gay community. Same sex marriage is now legal in most Canadian Province, something I am very rpoud of. it means that slowly, painfully even kicking and screaming people are getting the message that love, between consenting adults, no matter the gender or dynamics (poly) is something all strive for.

Just as I will speak up over racism over a skin type I will speak up over a sterotype as well. I'm no 'pollianna,the sun is always shining type girl'' by any stretch of the imagination but I would like to think that the way I conduct myself is a reflection that there are a lot of healthy adjusted, loveing familys in the community. Television likes to represent only the worst of our society and highlight the aspects that raise the most eyebrows simply because painting us all with the same brush is easier than trying to accept us.

denika

(in reply to understud)

Post #: 18

RE: how far do you go - 5/19/2006 6:37:47 AM

PhoenixLM

Posts: 79
Joined: 5/12/2005
From: Fort Wayne, Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: understud

Yet this is real life; and i have to make a lot of accommodations to protect the oversensitive values of of my neighbors and peers. So, how far do you go in maintaining a civil atmosphere. Do you ever go to the rallies shown on television? Have you ever gone to the large gatherings at Disney world and the like? What do you do to establish yourself as a responsible alternate lifestyle in you community without alienating everyone. Or do you even think that is possible in today's society. How did it make you feel when you had to or thought it best to accommodate the vanilla view of how you should act in public.

reaching out for ideas

always respectful; respectfully understud...

Hello,

Mistress and I live openly within our community, we have been in this house appox 3.5 years. When we first moved here we became known as the dykes on the corner. Our neighbors are now accepting of us. Note we are affictionate in open, we have a myrid of guest in and out. Vanilla to vamps, and everything in between. Recently we had a birthday/play party here and the only thing anyone commented on was it looked like fun (from the number of guest).We do have a 6 foot privacy fence, though it is easy to see over from a neighbors porch or second story window. Our neighbors have heard us or our guest discussing lifestyle matters and other than an odd look or two nothing is said. The reason for this is simple first and foremost we make it a priority to be a good neighbor, no fetishwear or kink in the open. We maintain my Mistress' house and grounds properly. We do not intrude on our neighbors privacy. We attempt to help our neighbors when we know they are in need of some small service. All these things make it easier for our neighbors to accept us.

If for example we attempted to rub thier noses in our lifestyle by walking around outside in fetishwear, or allowing slaves to flip flop gender in this house (this causes obvious confusion for vanilla public not to mention the neighborhood children) Then I could readily understand non tolerance and most assurdly no acceptance.

By simply being good neighbors we have gone from being tolerated in our neighborhood to acceptance by most and tolerated by the one house who was the most judgmental and prejuidice.

Just a little food for thought maybe we should stop with the in your face tatics some take, and start changing the world one neighborhood at a time. It wont change everyone but it will change most.

_____________________________

Phoenix
House Ds Haven
http://dshaven.com

(in reply to understud)

Post #: 19

RE: how far do you go - 5/19/2006 6:48:28 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: understud

i was curious as to how others in the bdsm lifestyle advance the goal of acceptance; not merely toleration. i would wish some day to live in my small community openly as i am. Sadly that seems unattainable at present. i could just say to hell with everyone and ignore the morals; and values or in my opinion, lack of them, of the rest of the town. Yet this is real life; and i have to make a lot of accommodations to protect the oversensitive values of of my neighbors and peers. So, how far do you go in maintaining a civil atmosphere. Do you ever go to the rallies shown on television? Have you ever gone to the large gatherings at Disney world and the like? What do you do to establish yourself as a responsible alternate lifestyle in you community without alienating everyone. Or do you even think that is possible in today's society. How did it make you feel when you had to or thought it best to accommodate the vanilla view of how you should act in public.

reaching out for ideas

always respectful; respectfully understud...

I have been going to human sexuality courses at my university now for almost 9 years. I sit on a panel or I am a guest speaker about BDSM. I like it best when I'm one of 3-5 people but there have been times when its just me (then I have the students watch a documentary about BDSM first).

I've also volunteered as education coordinator for different BDSM groups (again on the college level primarily) until I was burnt out by it.

Personally I think education is a good approach. Imagine that! A teacher thinking education is a good approach.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to understud)

Post #: 20

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