Fetlife refugees

Fetlife refugees (Full Version)

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LadyPact -> Fetlife refugees (8/4/2011 10:26:55 PM)
If you're not familiar, there is a group on Fetlife that is called "CollarMe Refugees". More or less, it's the little corner of that site to talk, complain, or discuss things that happen here on CM. A good number of the refugees aren't refugees at all and many are on both sites. It's one of the very few discussion groups that I'll participate in, as most of My interaction on Fet is focused on events and local groups. Since there is a place over there to talk about here, I figure we should have a place here to talk about there. However, in trying this venture, I am going to ask that folks remember where will still are. A lot of the stuff that flies on "CM Refugees" doesn't go over here because of this sites rules. Please don't try to pull the "person X is a scammer" or the posting of private emails. None of the stuff that will get the thread pulled that you might see acceptable on Fet. I'll start. Two positives and two negatives just to get the ball rolling. One huge benefit to Fet is the ease a person can find * local * groups and events. Even a person not familiar with the area due to moving or if they are traveling can find the munch group with relative ease. Another plus. Fet has more descriptive options. You can describe yourself as a top or bottom, sadist or masochist, rather than just Dominant, submissive, slave, or switch like here. Personally, I don't care for the black on white background. Never have. It gives Me headaches. There are literally thousands of discussion groups, rather than boards like we have here. So, here's the thread to discuss Fet. Enjoy contributing. Edited to add the word * local * above.

GreedyTop -> RE: Fetlife refugees (8/4/2011 10:31:32 PM)
I agree about the coloring there. I hate trying to find discussions... there is no rhyme or reason to it...

littlewonder -> RE: Fetlife refugees (8/4/2011 10:39:20 PM)
I don't like it for the very reason you like it....there are way too many discussion groups. Too many to keep track of and too many that very few actually get any action. I don't like the color scheme. Like you, it gives me a headache and my eyes can't adjust between that screen and others I may be reading. I like....hhhmmm....I can't really think of anything. The only time I visit fetlife is to retrieve mail that my email says I have received there. I don't do munches and groups and such so that's not of any concern for me. Oh and I don't like that most of the groups there seem even more childish than here.

HannahLynHeather -> RE: Fetlife refugees (8/4/2011 10:42:24 PM)
i dislike the built in censorship. people can kick out posters who they disagree with, it's basically a fucking joke.

NuevaVida -> RE: Fetlife refugees (8/4/2011 11:00:52 PM)
Other than the white on black, I like Fet. I've joined several groups which I enjoy, so I don't spend a lot of time searching for more, however, if I see someone on my friend's list has joined a group, I'll check it out. I like that it's kind of like a kinky facebook, as far as sharing pics, talking to friends on your "wall" or even posting your own discussions on your wall that friends can comment on. I don't do a lot of that myself, but I like the feature, and like to read what my buddies are up to. I like that each discussion group is "owned" by whomever created it - there is such a variety of groups with their own group rules, I'd think it would be impossible to not be able to find a group that suits a particular personality type. I've seen groups that don't tolerate anything that looks like a personal attack, groups that insist on being completely uncensored where anyone can jump on anyone in any way they want, to anything in the middle. If you don't fit with a group, you can find another or start your own, with your own rules. I like that there are groups for just about everything - BDSM related or not. There are philosophical groups, food/cooking groups, even wine lovers groups. For me, it's really comparing apples to oranges, though. There is no either/or - there's just both. Fet is good, CM is good.

LadyPact -> RE: Fetlife refugees (8/4/2011 11:04:03 PM)
Whoops! My thanks, littlewonder. When I read your response, I realized I didn't do a very good job when I wasn't clear in saying local groups. I probably should have specified that I see groups on Fet as two types. Local, which are the ones that are specifically dedicated to local regions, munch groups, club groups, etc. The other type are the topic and/or discussion groups that are more like the Ask A Master/Mistress/submissive boards that we have here. Hannah, you're not the first person I've seen say that. Basically, you're at the whim of the group "owners" because it seems that everybody has the option of running their group however they see fit. That could be a positive or a negative. I've seen some folks get bounced out of groups over there basically because they were trolling or causing other problems. Other times, it really does look like a personality conflict.

HannahLynHeather -> RE: Fetlife refugees (8/4/2011 11:09:50 PM)
i'm pretty fucking sure i'd be bounced from most of the groups on there [:D]

myotherself -> RE: Fetlife refugees (8/4/2011 11:10:27 PM)
I like Fetlife because it keeps me updated on what's happening at my local munches and clubs. I also like that I have friends over there that I don't have over here. I tend not to bother much with the discussion boards, apart from the silly/lighthearted ones. The moderation in the serious ones is capricious and irritating on the whole. The colour scheme is annoying and headache-inducing, but not as much as some of the pics that are posted. I have so-called "friends" on there who insist on leaving breadcrumbs on the most "unusual" pics [:'(]

tj4444 -> RE: Fetlife refugees (8/4/2011 11:17:59 PM)
I like that Fet has some interesting & specific groups. well, i know Fet is not a dating site like this one is so you cant search for specifically what you want, I found that frustrating so I am not on there much. I dont go to munches so not interested in that. I dont know exactly what a "Kinkster" or an "Evolving" sexuality, etc is so i find those kinds of labels odd and obtuse.... [8\|]

LadyPact -> RE: Fetlife refugees (8/4/2011 11:23:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NuevaVida For me, it's really comparing apples to oranges, though. There is no either/or - there's just both. Fet is good, CM is good. Very much the point. Even why I titled the thread the way that I did. I wouldn't even want to estimate how many "refugees" really are, well...... Refugees. Some are, who have completely sworn off CM. A good number of folks are members of both. quote: ORIGINAL: myotherself I also like that I have friends over there that I don't have over here. Good point! I just reconnected with somebody just last week who isn't on CM anymore, but it still on Fet. I had such a great time talking with her and catching up. quote: ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather i'm pretty fucking sure i'd be bounced from most of the groups on there That would be a really interesting experiment. I wonder how it would turn out. [8D]

myotherself -> RE: Fetlife refugees (8/4/2011 11:26:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather i'm pretty fucking sure i'd be bounced from most of the groups on there [:D] Hey, if I can be bounced from a group there, you stand NO chance! [:D]

HannahLynHeather -> RE: Fetlife refugees (8/4/2011 11:29:22 PM)
fuck, i'm tempted. [:D] my inner shit disturber <who is not buried all that deeply> is intrigued.

NuevaVida -> RE: Fetlife refugees (8/4/2011 11:30:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Very much the point. Even why I titled the thread the way that I did. I wouldn't even want to estimate how many "refugees" really are, well...... Refugees. Some are, who have completely sworn off CM. A good number of folks are members of both. I've noticed that, too. A lot of folks in that group are here, too. I left the group when I felt it was really just a place to bash CM. That was awhile ago, though, so maybe it's changed. As for having friends there who aren't here, that's my experience, too. I've gained some good insight from people I wouldn't have otherwise met.

LadyPact -> RE: Fetlife refugees (8/4/2011 11:35:12 PM)
Somebody actually bounced the bunny? I do believe it. You wouldn't be alone. As for the inner shit starter, a part of Me says it would be funny as hell.

HannahLynHeather -> RE: Fetlife refugees (8/4/2011 11:46:42 PM)
i can think of at least one person who would be furious to see me show up there, he'd blow a fucking gasket!! [:D][:D][:D]

DarkSteven -> RE: Fetlife refugees (8/5/2011 12:15:04 AM)
One huge plus of Fet is that so many Colorado locals are listed. Another is the flexibility of listing relationships, both primary and secondary. A third is the amount of photos permitted, and a fourth is that people seem less inhibited there. That said, I like collarme for the more polite tone, and the lack of general anarchy.

sunshinemiss -> RE: Fetlife refugees (8/5/2011 12:47:04 AM)
I like it too! Here on CM I often feel kind of like an island. A lot of what I want to and can talk about just goes over like a lead balloon here. There, people are totally into what I'm into - and those are the groups I join. Grammar, art, literature, Buddhism, psychology, etc. We don't have to talk about SEX all the time, and there doesn't seem to be the "subblier than thou" thing in the groups I'm in. I love that. All the fricking posturing over here does bother me at times. (I think it goes back to the different ways we can self-identify over there). I've spoken of it a number of times, so I won't go into details. I like having specific topics - it really keeps the trolls away (except in the Asian group - gobs and gobs of western men can't seem to follow the one and only rule which is no personal ads, and the members just rip them apart. They talk about rice cookers instead! Thread after thread of "you're an idiot, and hey, anybody seen the latest Zojirushi?" And then they go on and on about the size of their rice cooker and such. Ah the shame if you don't have a Zojirushi! It's the fun part of ignoring trolls.) I also love the grammar geek groups and such. People tend to answer questions better over there rather than attacking people over here. (Although that's not hard and fast - I asked in both groups about recipes for something, and both places made it all about me or something else instead of the actual question - which was, "hey, anyone have a recipe for..." How much clearer can you be than that? Pfft.) I don't get lost in the flotsam and jetsam over there like here. But here, the men are hotter (except for a few rare exceptions) the hot men are here or in both groups. There isn't nearly as much flirtation or joking around over there like here, and I get kind of miffed that my jokes are ignored or slammed. Ah well. Yup, def apples and oranges. By the way, I learned that the word for apple and the word for apology are the same thing in Korean. So ... do you think Snow White's step-momma was apologizing while she was trying to kill her? ponders *ETA: I don't like that there is no edit button there. :) Irony.

sunshinemiss -> RE: Fetlife refugees (8/5/2011 12:49:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NuevaVida quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Very much the point. Even why I titled the thread the way that I did. I wouldn't even want to estimate how many "refugees" really are, well...... Refugees. Some are, who have completely sworn off CM. A good number of folks are members of both. I've noticed that, too. A lot of folks in that group are here, too. I left the group when I felt it was really just a place to bash CM. That was awhile ago, though, so maybe it's changed. As for having friends there who aren't here, that's my experience, too. I've gained some good insight from people I wouldn't have otherwise met. I left for the same reason, but joined Jeffff's group of "CM Refugees for people who actually posted on the message boards"... or some name like that.

LadyPact -> RE: Fetlife refugees (8/5/2011 12:53:56 AM)
Now that I could have gotten into!

Phoenixpower -> RE: Fetlife refugees (8/5/2011 1:23:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: myotherself I have so-called "friends" on there who insist on leaving breadcrumbs on the most "unusual" pics [:'(] Isn't there the saying...tell me who your friends are and I know who you are [;)] I dont like fetlife, can't stand their black background colour either...and apart from 2 topics which I liked (but they felt asleep by now) I never bothered on the threads there...I just don't like it with their dark background, even less since I experienced once how it affected my eye sight when I had such a stupid black screen at work years ago before they started using word (which thankfully got back to normal after not having to sit on that screen for hours on end anymore three weeks after I left that job). Regarding groups, I wasn't aware of it being so much more dependent on the group owner and agree that it can be positiv as well as negative...

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