The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities

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The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities - 5/19/2006 8:53:22 AM

cloudboy

Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline

IMO the three most important qualities in a Mistress are: FIRMNESS, FAIRNESS, and UNDERSTANDING. When a sub knows that you are fair and understanding, he respects and trusts your authority that much more.

This is my two cent contribution to the CMMB.

Footnote: Fairness & Understanding trump all other qualities in sustaining a LTR.***

***Conclusion gathered from the very, very scientific studies I've conducted AROUND WOLRD using the latest, most-up-to-date equipment, testing methods, and super computers ever utilized in field research.

------

Results may very depending on a subject's IQ, body type, genetic encoding, drug and alcohol use, education, income level, and early childhood development rearing.

< Message edited by cloudboy -- 5/19/2006 8:58:25 AM >

Post #: 1

RE: The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities - 5/19/2006 9:10:45 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

IMO the three most important qualities in a Mistress are: FIRMNESS, FAIRNESS, and UNDERSTANDING. When a sub knows that you are fair and understanding, he respects and trusts your authority that much more.

This is my two cent contribution to the CMMB.

Footnote: Fairness & Understanding trump all other qualities in sustaining a LTR.***

***Conclusion gathered from the very, very scientific studies I've conducted AROUND WOLRD using the latest, most-up-to-date equipment, testing methods, and super computers ever utilized in field research.

------

Results may very depending on a subject's IQ, body type, genetic encoding, drug and alcohol use, education, income level, and early childhood development rearing.

I think these qualities could apply to male dominants, to teachers, to work authorities, to parents, to lots of folks with authority over other.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to cloudboy)

Post #: 2

RE: The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities - 5/19/2006 9:35:09 AM

amayos

Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

IMO the three most important qualities in a Mistress are: FIRMNESS, FAIRNESS, and UNDERSTANDING. When a sub knows that you are fair and understanding, he respects and trusts your authority that much more.

This is my two cent contribution to the CMMB.

Footnote: Fairness & Understanding trump all other qualities in sustaining a LTR.***

***Conclusion gathered from the very, very scientific studies I've conducted AROUND WOLRD using the latest, most-up-to-date equipment, testing methods, and super computers ever utilized in field research.

------

Results may very depending on a subject's IQ, body type, genetic encoding, drug and alcohol use, education, income level, and early childhood development rearing.

Can I travel around WOLRDs too? That sounds like it would be fun.

As for the most important qualities in a dominant female (in my neck of the forest): Superiority, Imagination, Darkness, Beauty and Will. Oh dear, that's five, actually. I suppose one could throw in a dash of mercy when it's truly deserved, too.

(in reply to cloudboy)

Post #: 3

RE: The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities - 5/19/2006 11:59:04 AM

scratchingpost

Posts: 231
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline

I agree any authority figure needs to have those qualities because they establish trust and build relationships.

_____________________________

be safe and smile
purrrs kitty
(=^.^=)
www.misskittys-scratchingpost.com

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 4

RE: The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities - 5/19/2006 12:01:37 PM

composer83

Posts: 101
Joined: 2/14/2006
From: Oklahoma City
Status: offline

what about INTELLIGENCE?
its just me but i would have an extremely difficult time submitting to someone that i could talk circles around in some sort of debate....plust its just unattractive.....but, thats just me....

_____________________________

~Love is Pain~

www.myspace.com/iamthediminished

(in reply to scratchingpost)

Post #: 5

RE: The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities - 5/19/2006 12:08:29 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

If I wanted 'fair' I'd have stayed in grade school. I hate the term 'firm but fair' when I see it in profiles. Sounds wishy-washy at best and not a quality I'd look for in a dominant partner. I mean, if you think about it, who determines fair anyway? The dominant, right? Seems to me the very idea excludes its usage and if the submissive determined what was fair, what's the point in having a dominant in the first place?

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to composer83)

Post #: 6

RE: The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities - 5/19/2006 12:17:58 PM

Sunshine119

Posts: 611
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

IMO the three most important qualities in a Mistress are: FIRMNESS, FAIRNESS, and UNDERSTANDING. When a sub knows that you are fair and understanding, he respects and trusts your authority that much more.

Heck.....I think most submissives are firm, fair and understanding. How about strength? I don't mean the physical kind here but, for me, I need to be able to feel his strength from across the room. Now, to ask me what comprises this "strength" would be very difficult. Oh well.......

_____________________________

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

(in reply to cloudboy)

Post #: 7

RE: The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities - 5/19/2006 12:30:50 PM

Proprietrix

Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
Status: offline

I'd have to throw in honesty and integrity.
I'm with Celeste on the "fair" thing. Fairness falls pretty low on the totem pole in my M/s relationships.

_____________________________

IMO, IMHO, YMMV, AFAIK, to me, I see it as, from my perspective, it's been my experience, I only speak for myself, (and all other disclaimers here).

(in reply to Sunshine119)

Post #: 8

RE: The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities - 5/19/2006 1:22:11 PM

composer83

Posts: 101
Joined: 2/14/2006
From: Oklahoma City
Status: offline

ill second the STRENGTH motion.....
but would like to add strength is an absolutely necessary trait in a sub......especially a sub to a sadistic Mistress or Master.....<chuckles>

_____________________________

~Love is Pain~

www.myspace.com/iamthediminished

(in reply to Proprietrix)

Post #: 9

RE: The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities - 5/19/2006 1:24:50 PM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Dear cloudboy, Ladies and Gentlemen;

I agree to the three virtues of Firmness, Fairness and Understanding.

But, I would also add to the virtues of "Spirit of Good Intent." The spirit of being on the side of good, although human and make mistakes and have accidents; the intent to be a good person as well as a good dominant is a good quality to which I strive to keep.

Another fine virtue is Compassion. This leads to being understanding and support, the ability to listen and advise, to take the time to savor the situation rather than hasty decisions, the power to forgive.

Another fine virtue is Courage. This leads to being firm in convictions, stand up and be firm, to know how to apologize when we do a wrong against our slave/submissive and or others. To know we are human and have flaws and admit them, no matter how embarrassing it may be.

Another fine virtue is Judicious. This allows an ability to weigh the evidence, facts, circumstances and give proper discipline when it is justified and not an emotional response. This allows someone to be fair.

Another fine virtue is Honor. Honor means to me, to respect others as I wish to be respected. In respecting or honoring my sense of duties, responsibilities to my standards, methods and way of life. By respecting myself, I also respect others. Although I give respect to others, regardless-- I do not expect respect in return. If it is given I appreciate it dearly and cherish it.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to cloudboy)

Post #: 10

RE: The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities - 5/19/2006 1:30:20 PM

dogobedience

Posts: 536
Joined: 3/30/2006
Status: offline

This applies to ever body top/bottom etc.
1) honesty
2) HONESTY
3) REAL SKILLS and the ability to seek out continued education to better their art, be you a top or bottom.

_____________________________

I start and/or reply to posts to further my abilities and share my experiences in this fantastic lifestyle.

I hope I am an intellectual instigator, making people think and or laugh and nothing more.

Tiger, proud owner of kali aka Tigerproperty

(in reply to cloudboy)

Post #: 11

RE: The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities - 5/19/2006 1:33:21 PM

ShiftedJewel

Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

IMO the three most important qualities in a Mistress are: FIRMNESS, FAIRNESS, and UNDERSTANDING. When a sub knows that you are fair and understanding, he respects and trusts your authority that much more.

This is my two cent contribution to the CMMB.

Footnote: Fairness & Understanding trump all other qualities in sustaining a LTR.***

***Conclusion gathered from the very, very scientific studies I've conducted AROUND WOLRD using the latest, most-up-to-date equipment, testing methods, and super computers ever utilized in field research.

------

Results may very depending on a subject's IQ, body type, genetic encoding, drug and alcohol use, education, income level, and early childhood development rearing.

I would have to say honesty, integrity and intelligence.... as well as inner strength.

Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to cloudboy)

Post #: 12

RE: The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities - 5/19/2006 2:10:02 PM

cloudboy

Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline

Reading these rude, wrong, and misguided responses makes me think that my thorough, WORLD-WIDE research merely unearthed a yawning, tired, overused truism. But, I still stand firm behind the findings of my super computers, state of the art tests, and field research.

Of course, yes, there are OTHER QUALITIES. I suppose there is some minimal value in pointing them out like Amayos and others have, but its MORE important that you know what is MOST IMPORTANT --- objectively speaking --- which is as I have spoken and pronounced!!!

Now as for you Celeste and your scheming, smoking cohort Proprietrix, you two the female yin & yang of D/S --- I'm disappointed to hear your ungracious dissents, and yes I can see the subtext in your responses to me, "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."

But I am undeterred.

A DOM without fairness is like.....

a boat without a propeller

a lover without a tongue

a surveyor without a map

or

A BUSH cabinet advisor

--------

I am sorry to disappoint you, and this is staight from Najakcharmer's leather bound book of truths:

A DOM without fairness is a Dom without judgment.

The exercise of judgment is the most important thing a DOM does.

So, Proprietrix, (how can you have propriety without fairness?), your totem pole is UPSIDE DOWN.

So, Celeste, no one determines fairness at all, and it doesn't stop when you enter middle school either. No, fairness is derivitive of natural law and the Dostoevskian conscienceness embedded in all civilized men. This is not to say that fairness is uniform, but rather to say it is bindingly transcendent.

< Message edited by cloudboy -- 5/19/2006 2:11:34 PM >

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 13

RE: The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities - 5/19/2006 2:30:27 PM

Slipstreme

Posts: 817
Joined: 1/1/2006
Status: offline

Caring
Intuition
Knowledge, and the desire to seek that which they do not know how to do properly. Along with this is judgement, the ability to know how to apply something that you know and when.

_____________________________

Living the Dichotomy

Painslut? How about "Endorphin Junkie"?

For information about "the furry thing" please check out my profile journal entry for: 1/17/2006

Alpha of a leather family of four. Master to the slave z.

(in reply to cloudboy)

Post #: 14

RE: The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities - 5/19/2006 2:39:29 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

Webster's Universal Encyclopedic Dictionary 2002 edition

Page - 656

Fair: 6a - marked by impartiality and honesty: free from self-interest, prejudice or favoritism

Never met a Master yet who was free from self-interest. If that's what you want, go for it. Not my cup of tea, so we'll have to just disagree on this point.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to cloudboy)

Post #: 15

RE: The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities - 5/19/2006 2:49:33 PM

Vendaval

Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline

Well, tongue in cheek response here, based on letters from
subs/slaves/switches

#1 really freaking hot body
#2 filthy rich and a real descent of decadent nobility
#3 private land with dungeon and torture chambers
#4 stables for slaves, pony and puppy play equipment
#5 large group of Domme's in training as assistants
#6 very expensive wardrobe and equipment and cars
#7 wants no limit slaves
#8 wants adult babies and human toilets
#9 wants financial domination
#10 will show slave's humiliation and torment on live web cam,
pay per view, only

YMMV,

Vendaval

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE

http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to cloudboy)

Post #: 16

RE: The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities - 5/19/2006 3:27:18 PM

Chaingang

Posts: 1727
Joined: 10/24/2005
Status: offline

Now I remember why I have you on block:

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy
IMO the three most important qualities in a Mistress are: FIRMNESS, FAIRNESS, and UNDERSTANDING.

I can't speak for Female Dominants...

...But if you have firmness in treatment and you actually conform to expectations - you will not even need the other two. Yup, it's Yoda time: "Do or do not do. There is no try."

What you want is to be able to fuck up without consequence and I doubt that will happen unless you pay to play and are therefore calling the shots. In a real world Domme/sub situation your Mistress may be forgiving when and if she decides there is a reason to be forgiving - but I wouldn't test her limits on the issue. Forgiveness dries up fast.

_____________________________

"Everything flows, nothing stands still." (Πάντα ῥεῖ καὶ οὐδὲν μένει) - Heraclitus

(in reply to cloudboy)

Post #: 17

RE: The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities - 5/19/2006 3:28:38 PM

Vendaval

Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline

What a great lists of qualities so far -

Firmness, understanding, strength, intelligence, honesty, integrity,
compassion, courage, honor, judicious, caring, intuition, knowledge,
superiority, imagination, darkness, beauty and will.

What to add? I would say creativity, adaptability and high level
communication skills.

Peace and Light,

Vendaval

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE

http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to cloudboy)

Post #: 18

RE: The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities - 5/19/2006 3:38:17 PM

gooddogbenji

Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline

My 3 most important qualities are:

Human
Alive
Over 18

After that, maybe:

Female
Dominant
Interested in me

Then, maybe, we can get into:

Fair
Firm
Understanding
Strong
Non-leprous

And then, what may be a deal breaker still is distance, age, kinks, level of commitment, already taken, etc...

I think I might start a thread on "If you had to live the rest of your life with only one organ, which would it be?" and see whether people are as willing to narrow it down.

Yours,

benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to Vendaval)

Post #: 19

RE: The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities - 5/19/2006 3:58:05 PM

aurora31

Posts: 266
Joined: 8/18/2005
Status: offline

I would add integrety(sp)....thats a big one for me along with inner strength and consistency.

aurora

(in reply to Vendaval)

Post #: 20

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