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Why people hide stuff online - 8/8/2011 8:30:39 PM   
subbingforyou


Posts: 20
Joined: 4/10/2011
Status: offline 		Just had one of "those" exchanges with an domme. She wanted to meet me after I sent her my info and photo, but she said she didn't have a photo herself and declared that my asking what part of Los Angeles she lived in and how old she was (her profile said 99) was "asking too much info."

It's strange the stuff people feel a need to conceal.
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RE: Why people hide stuff online - 8/8/2011 8:34:55 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		There are some things I can understand hiding such as what part of Los Angeles. I don't like when people ask me what part of Baltimore I live or what college I attend. I once made the mistake of telling someone what part of Allentown, PA I lived in and he quickly was able to discern who I was through posts online and such and became my stalker. I no longer give out any kind of such info about myself.

As for age, that's something I would want to know if I was seeking a partner since I did have an age limit in which I dated.


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RE: Why people hide stuff online - 8/8/2011 8:37:00 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline
quote:

It's strange the stuff people feel a need to conceal.
My first reaction is that "she" didn't want to actually meet you, "she" was just phishing for pictures. Hopefully you sent only very vanilla shots of yourself.

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RE: Why people hide stuff online - 8/8/2011 8:37:52 PM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline 		Did you offer up your info and photo, or did she ask you for them?

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RE: Why people hide stuff online - 8/8/2011 8:39:00 PM   
Killerangel


Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline 		Yeah, it happens. So for you this person would be incompatible. For someone who wanted to play out an online fantasy 'she' might be perfect. I hope it didn't frustrate you much, that's just how it is...at least you knew fairly quickly that she wasn't worthy of your attention so what's the problem really?

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RE: Why people hide stuff online - 8/8/2011 8:42:38 PM   
tj444


Posts: 7574
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline 		maybe she is like me and isnt actually looking for anyone at the present time.
As I understand it, Dommes get flooded by email and maybe she has enough to go thru and is trying to weed out those she is not compatible with or interested in.
or other reasons too, of course.

If she really wants to meet you then set up a time and place and meet her, then you will know...

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RE: Why people hide stuff online - 8/8/2011 8:44:40 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subbingforyou

Just had one of "those" exchanges with an domme. She wanted to meet me after I sent her my info and photo, but she said she didn't have a photo herself and declared that my asking what part of Los Angeles she lived in and how old she was (her profile said 99) was "asking too much info."

It's strange the stuff people feel a need to conceal.


Nothing wrong with people protecting their privacy, but I think if - big IF - she was an actual woman, maybe something made her uncomfy or triggered alarm bells. I usually switch off if somebody exchanges 1 or 2 CMails and then wants my email or a messenger, a phone number, an address or anything that I would not tell a stranger I just met online. Not having a picture of herself is a bit odd, it's not that digital cams or webcams are a super novelty, I wouldn't pose in front of a webcam for a stranger, but if you want to meet a picture of yourself not such a big deal.

Hey, consider yourself lucky, you didn't waste more time on "her" and noticed fairly early that there was an incompatibility


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RE: Why people hide stuff online - 8/8/2011 8:45:20 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I've been here for four years.  There isn't anybody who is getting what area of town I live in just from a few emails exchanges.  Most Dominant women can tell you, OP.  We've all had at least one person try to track us down when we didn't have as much interest in them as they did in us.

The age?  I'll give you that one.  I can't see how asking someone's correct age when they have specifically listed a false one is an imposition.  Many feel that asking a woman's age is rude, but I don't think Miss Manners was predicting these types of situations on the internet.


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RE: Why people hide stuff online - 8/8/2011 8:57:05 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subbingforyou

Just had one of "those" exchanges with an domme. She wanted to meet me after I sent her my info and photo, but she said she didn't have a photo herself and declared that my asking what part of Los Angeles she lived in and how old she was (her profile said 99) was "asking too much info."

It's strange the stuff people feel a need to conceal.


I think the fact that she stated she wanted to meet you and still not give you information is weird. Not the where she lived part, but definately the age part.


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RE: Why people hide stuff online - 8/8/2011 9:12:15 PM   
subbingforyou


Posts: 20
Joined: 4/10/2011
Status: offline 		OK, you need to understand something about LA. It is a huge area and saying what part you live in -- the westside, Pasadena, etc. -- is akin to people in other places saying what city they live in. You want to know that because two people can both live in Los Angeles and still be too far apart to see each other on a regular basis. So I was only asking for very basic information.

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RE: Why people hide stuff online - 8/8/2011 9:23:35 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subbingforyou

OK, you need to understand something about LA. It is a huge area and saying what part you live in -- the westside, Pasadena, etc. -- is akin to people in other places saying what city they live in. You want to know that because two people can both live in Los Angeles and still be too far apart to see each other on a regular basis. So I was only asking for very basic information.


I have lived in LA, but if at the time I would have been on this site, I still would not have answered cheerfully with "Venice Beach, yup, can see Angelica Huston's house from here" (which is not in such an upscale neighbourhood) or would have given other pointers, because it would have been quite easy to locate me, especially if you watch then when somebody logs on and calculate when they get home, comb the area a bit... Lots of tourists around but not that many residents actually, might have changed but very few good restaurants, wouldn't have been impossible to find me and out me. I might have said I'm around East Venice and met you there or possibly Oakwood or Milwood, or taken the drive and said we meet at Neptunes...

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There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

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RE: Why people hide stuff online - 8/8/2011 9:25:40 PM   
LanceHughes


Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline 		Time, once again, for Lance to quote his sig block:
 
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong
 
I'm guessing you're pretty sure this one's not "right" for you, and you've come to the forum to be talked out of (what seems to me) a pretty good "gut" decision.
 
In other words, your gut says "not right."  And you're asking our advice when you already know the answer - which is follow your gut and bail.
 
// Gee, I should just save that whole message as boiler plate, y'think? //




< Message edited by LanceHughes -- 8/8/2011 9:30:16 PM >

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"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

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RE: Why people hide stuff online - 8/8/2011 9:28:40 PM   
Epytropos


Posts: 699
Joined: 7/23/2011
Status: offline 		I have people who find it baffling that I list myself as being in Knoxville because that's 'too revealing.' "It's a small town!" they cry at me, "What if someone tracks you down?!?!?!" to which I respond 'if you can find me in the 650k+ people who live in Knoxville metro I'll give you a martini and a tour of my apartment as a prize.' Giving away your portion of LA is like that - plenty of neighborhoods have at least double that many (I think the Valley is sitting at like 1.7M at this point?). Seems to me she was either way, way too skittish to be meeting people on the web or else simply a picture collector.

EDIT: extra word


< Message edited by Epytropos -- 8/8/2011 9:29:00 PM >

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RE: Why people hide stuff online - 8/8/2011 9:35:55 PM   
LanceHughes


Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline 		And what the HECK did you mean by "Just had one of 'those' exchanges with a Domme"?  What kind of exchange?  As a male sub, you MUST have figured out that there are plenty of fakes out there.  Proceed with caution, my little one.  Proceed with caution!

ETA: the last line of your profile is "I seek something real based on mutual respect, affection, and attraction."  So, where's the mutual respect?

'Nuff said? 

< Message edited by LanceHughes -- 8/8/2011 9:47:52 PM >

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"Train 'em the right way - my way." Lance Hughes
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

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50 nz points

Member: VAA's posse

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RE: Why people hide stuff online - 8/9/2011 4:07:02 PM   
GloriousMorning


Posts: 171
Joined: 3/18/2009
Status: offline 		Sometimes it`s a genuine trust thing, as Dommes, we are also placing trust in our counterparts by sending photos. Sometimes, its insecurity or outright deception. Buyer beware.

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RE: Why people hide stuff online - 8/9/2011 8:32:46 PM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subbingforyou
She wanted to meet me after I sent her my info and photo, but she said she didn't have a photo herself and declared that my asking what part of Los Angeles she lived in and how old she was (her profile said 99) was "asking too much info."


I'd be pretty skeptical about a person who is on an on-line site, and yet they claim that they don't have a photo of themself.  Almost everybody has a digital camera on them at all times......It's called their cell phone.  Even if their phone doesn't have a camera, the guy standing next to them probably has one on his phone, so there is no excuse for not having a picture.

As others have said, it may make sense for someone to be reluctant to share what part of town they live in.  There are a lot of creepy stalkers out there.  However, I see no reason why someone wouldn't want to share their age (or at least their age range).  After all, many people who are seeking a partner are looking for someone in a specific age range.  If you're 23 years old, and are looking to meet a Domme in your same age range, I think it's reasonable for the Domme to let you know that she's 63.  That would save a lot of wasted time on both of your part.

Everything that you've said about her is making me think that she's likely not what she says that she is.  It's too bad that you've already sent her pictures.  Hopefully, they were vanilla pics, and you didn't make the mistake of sending her naked ones.

< Message edited by Rochsub2009 -- 8/9/2011 9:16:06 PM >

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RE: Why people hide stuff online - 8/9/2011 8:56:02 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Oh come on... you want to know that I have a hairy upper lip, tits down to my knees and stubs for feet? I was working on your delusion of it all! Screw that meeting in person! LA is fucking nuts! I do fit well there.

If you are old enough to be on this site... you are old enough to figure it all out. If you can't... well, live and learn, I say. There is no lesson, like the lesson of someone that falls for just about anything.

Seriously...




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RE: Why people hide stuff online - 8/10/2011 12:13:09 AM   
subbingforyou


Posts: 20
Joined: 4/10/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

quote:

ORIGINAL: subbingforyou
She wanted to meet me after I sent her my info and photo, but she said she didn't have a photo herself and declared that my asking what part of Los Angeles she lived in and how old she was (her profile said 99) was "asking too much info."


I'd be pretty skeptical about a person who is on an on-line site, and yet they claim that they don't have a photo of themself.  Almost everybody has a digital camera on them at all times......It's called their cell phone.  Even if their phone doesn't have a camera, the guy standing next to them probably has one on his phone, so there is no excuse for not having a picture.

As others have said, it may make sense for someone to be reluctant to share what part of town they live in.  There are a lot of creepy stalkers out there.  However, I see no reason why someone wouldn't want to share their age (or at least their age range).  After all, many people who are seeking a partner are looking for someone in a specific age range.  If you're 23 years old, and are looking to meet a Domme in your same age range, I think it's reasonable for the Domme to let you know that she's 63.  That would save a lot of wasted time on both of your part.

Everything that you've said about her is making me think that she's likely not what she says that she is.  It's too bad that you've already sent her pictures.  Hopefully, they were vanilla pics, and you didn't make the mistake of sending her naked ones.


I don't have naked photos of myself, and even if I did I would never send them to some anonymous stranger. But you're right.

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RE: Why people hide stuff online - 8/10/2011 12:15:33 AM   
subbingforyou


Posts: 20
Joined: 4/10/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

quote:

It's strange the stuff people feel a need to conceal.
My first reaction is that "she" didn't want to actually meet you, "she" was just phishing for pictures. Hopefully you sent only very vanilla shots of yourself.



No, she finally admitted that she was simply much older. I guess she was just hoping to disguise that and get a meeting hoping I'd overlook it once we were sitting face-to-face or something. Seems silly to me, but then people do a lot of silly things.

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RE: Why people hide stuff online - 8/10/2011 3:34:23 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subbingforyou


quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

quote:

It's strange the stuff people feel a need to conceal.
My first reaction is that "she" didn't want to actually meet you, "she" was just phishing for pictures. Hopefully you sent only very vanilla shots of yourself.



No, she finally admitted that she was simply much older. I guess she was just hoping to disguise that and get a meeting hoping I'd overlook it once we were sitting face-to-face or something. Seems silly to me, but then people do a lot of silly things.


I guess saying "I am much older" sounds better than saying "I am a guy who was posing as a woman"

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

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