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RE: dom vs gentleman.. - 5/26/2006 5:01:25 AM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DOM4POLY

Not speaking for all DOM's in there forty's and beyond...lol  the arrogant and pompous attitude is a thing of the past (or should be..if not grow up).

I agree again.  The younger set seem to demand respect/submission simply because they claim to be dominants in the lifestyle.  But, after the age of 40 or so, most of them figure out that inspiring it so much more effective and meaningful.
 
 In defense of younger dominants,  I have to say that I don't think its easy being the dominant party.  I think it *would* be hard to find the right balance between arrogance and confidence; knowing when you're being dominant and when you're just being  unreasonable and demanding.  Experience  I suppose, is the best teacher.   

(in reply to DOM4POLY)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: dom vs gentleman.. - 5/26/2006 7:41:45 AM   
DOM4POLY


Posts: 7
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Oh im not going to say that I (or most of the older DOM'S that i know) dont have a bit of the arrogance left insideand there is a time and a place for it to come out. I find that when you have the ability to turn on the charisma and turn off the arrogance you become more respected due to sheer confidence.

(in reply to marieToo)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: dom vs gentleman.. - 5/26/2006 10:06:26 AM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DOM4POLY

Oh im not going to say that I (or most of the older DOM'S that i know) dont have a bit of the arrogance left insideand there is a time and a place for it to come out.


The arrogance (I *think*) you are refering to is *after* two people are established with each other and confident within the relationship.  I tend to call that the "motherfucker" side of the dominant.  Am I allowed to say that here?  Theres just no better word to use.  He feels like being the world's biggest prick and the submissive just sucks it up because she so needs to.  Yummy.
 
The arrogance I detest is that of a dominant that you just have begun speaking to. They make all sorts of demands on your behavior or speech patterns, because they think that claiming to be dominant gives them some authority to do so.  Blech!   I usually give them a good telling off and then run fast in the other direction.

(in reply to DOM4POLY)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: dom vs gentleman.. - 5/26/2006 10:08:14 AM   
Dustyn


Posts: 1044
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline 		There is a time to be nice and a time to stop being nice.  The trick is figuring out what time it is.

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(in reply to marieToo)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: dom vs gentleman.. - 5/26/2006 10:32:08 AM   
ADomDoc


Posts: 312
Joined: 11/8/2005
From: San Antonio
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DOM4POLY
The arrogance I detest is that of a dominant that you just have begun speaking to. They make all sorts of demands on your behavior or speech patterns, because they think that claiming to be dominant gives them some authority to do so.  Blech!   I usually give them a good telling off and then run fast in the other direction.


:-) Kudos!  I LOVE to watch a sub shut down those arrogant jerks!  My last slave would get her 89# up out of her wheelchair and back one of those 300# assholes across the room ... poking him in the chest with every other word :-)  If more subs & slaves did that, you might 1) run 'em out of BdSm or 2) educate them into becoming civil, social beings.  But for every sub who stands his/her ground there are 50 who don't ... and they feed the asshole jerk "Dom" attitude that the new BdSm scene is infested with.  And it should be obvious, that if a 'Dom' is gonna be rude & demanding upon just meeting a new sub/slave ... it won't ever get any better once a relationship is established ... any sub/slave who takes up with a jerk gets what s/he deserves.
Any confident experienced Dom knows that s/he doesn't have to be rude to show or maintain dominance.  Rudeness just advertises how insecure & NOT in control those jerks are.

ADomDoc
San Antonio

< Message edited by ADomDoc -- 5/26/2006 10:36:31 AM >

(in reply to marieToo)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: dom vs gentleman.. - 5/26/2006 12:11:56 PM   
DOM4POLY


Posts: 7
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		kudo's kudo's kudo's... thats if perfect ADomDoc...marie as far as our conversations if you ever need a chat buddy please feel free.

(in reply to ADomDoc)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: dom vs gentleman.. - 5/26/2006 5:27:45 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ADomDoc


And it should be obvious, that if a 'Dom' is gonna be rude & demanding upon just meeting a new sub/slave ... it won't ever get any better once a relationship is established ... any sub/slave who takes up with a jerk gets what s/he deserves.
Any confident experienced Dom knows that s/he doesn't have to be rude to show or maintain dominance.  Rudeness just advertises how insecure & NOT in control those jerks are.

ADomDoc
San Antonio


I SOOO agree with this statement. The only thing I would like to add to is that there are some girls, that aren't necessarily stupid and deserve what they get, but moreso naive, young or new to their feelings and just coming to terms with it all.  And some scumbag exploits that to his advantage. I always hate when I see this.  Even smart girls can be duped sometimes. That is the way we learn however.

(in reply to ADomDoc)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: dom vs gentleman.. - 5/26/2006 5:29:26 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DOM4POLY

kudo's kudo's kudo's... thats if perfect ADomDoc...marie as far as our conversations if you ever need a chat buddy please feel free.


You are very sweet. Thank you.  :)  I just may sneak up on you when you least expect it! 

(in reply to DOM4POLY)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: dom vs gentleman.. - 5/26/2006 6:06:51 PM   
DOM4POLY


Posts: 7
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		LOL... sneak away....lol

(in reply to marieToo)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: dom vs gentleman.. - 10/18/2006 5:27:31 AM   
SirLordTrainer


Posts: 820
Joined: 5/6/2004
From: Indy
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: twicehappy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wulfchyld

Hmmm....My Dad said a true gentleman doesn’t pee in the shower. Guess I am a gentleman Dom.


A true Southern gentleman always takes the dishes out of the sink before he pees in it.


Dont forget bout us Northern gentleman Dom's.. ~grin~ 

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(in reply to twicehappy)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: dom vs gentleman.. - 10/18/2006 5:46:42 AM   
twicehappy


Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirLordTrainer

Dont forget bout us Northern gentleman Dom's.. ~grin~ 


Lmao....do you take the dishes out of the sink first too?
 
Scooter never pees in the sink, thank the gods......
 
But if he catches me at the sink washing my hands i'm in trouble, something about the fact that i lean forward to reach the water. Is this a Northern gentleman thing?

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

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(in reply to SirLordTrainer)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: dom vs gentleman.. - 10/18/2006 7:32:27 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		He is the most dominant and the most civil man I have ever met. Innate decency and generosity of spirit, caring and considerate. At the same time, he's the boss. But like any good boss, he wants his subordinates (or submissive as the case may be) to be happy so that they can be most productive.

(in reply to mastersayed)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: dom vs gentleman.. - 10/18/2006 3:23:45 PM   
SirLordTrainer


Posts: 820
Joined: 5/6/2004
From: Indy
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: twicehappy

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirLordTrainer

Dont forget bout us Northern gentleman Dom's.. ~grin~ 


Lmao....do you take the dishes out of the sink first too?
 
Scooter never pees in the sink, thank the gods......
 
But if he catches me at the sink washing my hands i'm in trouble, something about the fact that i lean forward to reach the water. Is this a Northern gentleman thing?


Sure, Id take the dishes out, rinse out the sink too but only if I have no other choice. But that would be a very rare occassion Im certain. As for the leanin/water, although Im sure Scoot has his reasons for that, but I wouldnt mind as leaning forward offers Me an opportunity to swat that ass a good one. Which Im fond of doing when happy or whoever else least expects it anyway. So yea I guess both methods have there Gentlmanly Dom connotations however deviant.

_____________________________

Accepting one's own imperfections eliminates a roadblock to progress.

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Profile   Post #: 73
RE: dom vs gentleman.. - 10/18/2006 4:00:05 PM   
Morrigel


Posts: 492
Joined: 10/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bbwblksublilgrl

Should a dominant nature be allowed to surpass  being a real gentleman? What are your thoughts?


If rude boys turn you on?  Sure.  If not?  He should be a gentleman.  All subs have preferences, just as doms do.  They should look for a man or woman who makes them happy.

--M

(in reply to bbwblksublilgrl)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: dom vs gentleman.. - 10/18/2006 5:32:00 PM   
MrRodgers


Posts: 10542
Joined: 7/30/2005
Status: offline 		Once again this question arises because of the kinkosphere because here we 'meet' before we actually meet. Being a gentleman is the only way to start out with anybody. Dominance is not billigerence or antangonism...it is not arrogance...it is a quiet confidence.

Being old-school and meeting originally in realtime, one had better be a gentleman as in the start of any vanilla relationships or any chance that this new woman in your life was going to submit...is out the window altogether. Here with this digital headstart, one can or should be able, after a time, determine the gentleman and then the dominance and be happy with both...or maybe go on to the next one.

Be comforted that you don't run into the dominant lover...the ' so-called experts' tell us...they simply don't exist...and in fact are HNGs...right ?

(in reply to Morrigel)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: dom vs gentleman.. - 10/18/2006 6:41:13 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ADomDoc

quote:

ORIGINAL: DOM4POLY
The arrogance I detest is that of a dominant that you just have begun speaking to. They make all sorts of demands on your behavior or speech patterns, because they think that claiming to be dominant gives them some authority to do so.  Blech!   I usually give them a good telling off and then run fast in the other direction.


:-) Kudos!  I LOVE to watch a sub shut down those arrogant jerks!  My last slave would get her 89# up out of her wheelchair and back one of those 300# assholes across the room ... poking him in the chest with every other word :-)  If more subs & slaves did that, you might 1) run 'em out of BdSm or 2) educate them into becoming civil, social beings.  But for every sub who stands his/her ground there are 50 who don't ... and they feed the asshole jerk "Dom" attitude that the new BdSm scene is infested with.  And it should be obvious, that if a 'Dom' is gonna be rude & demanding upon just meeting a new sub/slave ... it won't ever get any better once a relationship is established ... any sub/slave who takes up with a jerk gets what s/he deserves.
Any confident experienced Dom knows that s/he doesn't have to be rude to show or maintain dominance.  Rudeness just advertises how insecure & NOT in control those jerks are.

ADomDoc
San Antonio


My former sub (2001) used to do similar things, although no physical contact, when somebody came up to her and started feeding her attitude.

I simply mentioned to julia that I have issues with people who are not nice and polite.  It is rather entertaining watching her be nice and polite as she intellectually skewers some simpleton CHUDWAH.

But this is just me and I could be wrong.

Sinergy

_____________________________

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(in reply to ADomDoc)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: dom vs gentleman.. - 10/19/2006 3:36:49 AM   
LordODiscipline


Posts: 995
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline 		1. You are assuming that "dominant" means "assh*le" - that is an incorrect assumption. People can be gentlemen and dominant - and, there is not conflict inherent as you would indicate in your posting.
2. You are assuming on all of us what "a real gentleman" is (indeed) - that indicates that you do not understand the subjectiv/personally defined nature of somethign such as the word "real" - you are not allowing us to understand you entirely.
 
However - what you are saying is - should someone with a forceful personality allow that to override their basic civility?
 
I do all the time, because I have a low tolerance for BS - although I am the most gentile of persons most of the time.
 
It is simply my personal level of frustration with people who :should know better: (in whatever situation we are describing)
 
Besides - you have someone particular in mind... and, have already made your mind up that you do not belive they should be as much of a dink... but, are looking for this lame concensus which will not legitimize your feelings any more than they already might be...
 
~J

_____________________________

"Anyone who thinks they're important is usually just a pompous moron who can't deal with his or her own pathetic insignificance and the fact that what they do is meaningless and inconsequential."
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(in reply to bbwblksublilgrl)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: dom vs gentleman.. - 10/19/2006 3:40:31 AM   
LordODiscipline


Posts: 995
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ADomDoc
Any confident experienced Dom knows that s/he doesn't have to be rude to show or maintain dominance.  Rudeness just advertises how insecure & NOT in control those jerks are.

ADomDoc
San Antonio


I am often rude - and, I am seldom insecure...
 
This is one of those lame assertions of "I am dominant because I am in control" statements that is really not a "truism" so much as it a personal bragging situation.
 
The fact is - being "polite" has absolutely nothing to do with insecurity and/or dominance directly... it MAY be an indication of insecurity... in many instances it is not - and, once again the stereotypical explanation for personal behavior is not something to be relied on.

~J

_____________________________

"Anyone who thinks they're important is usually just a pompous moron who can't deal with his or her own pathetic insignificance and the fact that what they do is meaningless and inconsequential."
William Thomas

(in reply to ADomDoc)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: dom vs gentleman.. - 10/19/2006 4:58:43 AM   
twicehappy


Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LordODiscipline



I do all the time, because I have a low tolerance for BS - although I am the most gentile of persons most of the time.
 
It is simply my personal level of frustration with people who :should know better: (in whatever situation we are describing)


Lmao......i am a slave to my pair but i also have an extremely low tolerance for BS and stupid or inept people. Yet i have a very gentle nature and a great deal of patience with those nature made slow, the old, the young, the mentally handicapped.


_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to LordODiscipline)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: dom vs gentleman.. - 10/19/2006 5:05:47 AM   
twicehappy


Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirLordTrainer

As for the leanin/water, although Im sure Scoot has his reasons for that, but I wouldnt mind as leaning forward offers Me an opportunity to swat that ass a good one. Which Im fond of doing when happy or whoever else least expects it anyway.


Lol, he loves to swat too just because he is happy, but i still have not figured out why washing my hands makes him horny, not that i'm complaining mind you.
 
Though Jewel did bring up a pertinent point; when i am very old  folks will think i have a cleanliness obsession as i lean over the sink washing my hands over and over all the while muttering "Damn it, why isn't this working?"   Lmao....
 
We are having lots of company for Halloween and i'm undecided on an issue this brings up.
 
Do i put up a warning about washing your hands or do i let the girls take their chances? 
 
 

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to SirLordTrainer)
Profile   Post #: 80
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