RE: Fat People (Full Version)

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LadyConstanze -> RE: Fat People (8/13/2011 10:25:48 AM)

Nephandi,

but you don't just let yourself go and go from overweight to obese. My other half has the same problem as you do, he's a comfort eater and both his parents were quite sturdy, so there is definitely a heritage there, it got a bit out of control with him to the point where I was worried about his health and he started to dislike himself, he joined the http://www.livestrong.com website, free site, you don't need all the additional stuff you can buy, it gives you good control about how much you eat and how much you burn, and also monitors that you don't cut down your calorie intake too much and then get the dreaded yo-yo effect. I believe you might find that helpful.



Iamsemisweet -> RE: Fat People (8/13/2011 10:35:22 AM)

I have also struggled with my weight all my life, and it is so tedious. Right now, I am in probably the best shape I have ever been in. So I knw what it is like to fight my weight, but I don't think I could submit or be in a relationship with someone who was really obese. I am extremely physically active, and I am looking for a permanent long term relationship. I want someone who can keep up with me, and who will be a companion for a long time. So it is a matter of lifestyle and health to me, not appearance. For example, I like to ride horses, and I want my SO to be able to come with me. That rules out anyone over about 220.

I have good reasons to think a reasonable body size is important.
My 2 years older brother who was horribly obese for many.years died painfully, horribly and young last summer. In the end, it was a toss up whether his diabetes from being overweight or his pancreatic cancer, also connected to being overweight, was going to kill him first. He basically starved to death because his body couldn't metabolize food. He died very thin, and it was the first time in his life he had ever not been overweight.
So, I take care of myself so I don't suffer the same fate, and I couldn't bear seeing someone I loved go through what my brother did. Body type and fitness is important to me. Call me shallow.
Having said all that, I wouldn't dream of commenting on other people's choices, and it is none of my business what other people do with their bodies. And it isn't any of your business either, OP. Hang out with people you are attracted to, but don't criticize others.



barelynangel -> RE: Fat People (8/13/2011 10:54:09 AM)

Nephandi --

I really don't get your rant -- you aren't a Master so the post doesn't apply to you personally at all.  So using yourself is moot.  Instead of reading the OP's post, you put your personal reading of it.  Unless something has changed and you have become a Master where you are going to own someone -- i think you decided to take a post that isn't directed GENERALLY at fat people but instead is directed at very specific types of people.

That is the danger of threads like this.   Also people choose to live as fat people all of the time.  What gets me is we see all over the boards the lengths people go to alleviate themselves of negative symptoms of issues they have, meds they take etc -- i.e., pain, depression, etc.  But when it comes to being overweight, people don't make it as much of a priority as they do other symptoms they have.  So even if being fat is a symptom of issues or med etc  why don't many people make it a priority to alleviate themselves of this symptom.  I am going to say because there is no magic pill.  It's the hard work of the people, its changing lifestyles and yes its dealing with pain and making time and it's not instant gratification, its an ongoing process that backtracks if you aren't diligent about keeping it off and maintaining and making it a priority to alleviate themselves of that symptom.

I don't believe the medication issue because i know for damn sure that if medications were causing someone pain they would go to the ends of the earth to alleviate themselves from that symptom of that medication and refuse to take it etc. 

So in the end, it's a choice people make and a priority they make.  I know its hard to accept this but it all depends where in one's priority the being fat lands.  If it is a major priority because it actually causes more harm than not, then people do lose the weight.  IF it's something that can be put off because its liveable -- then it's still a choice. 


angel



Aswad -> RE: Fat People (8/13/2011 10:58:32 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kelleyskinky

Fat people are an issue I would like to address finally......


I would like to address eugenics, but it seems I'm too late, far too late.

Still, how about a twist on the subject that serves its purpose?

How about addressing the kinds of space to occupy?

Health,
al-Aswad.



risktaker9 -> RE: Fat People (8/13/2011 10:59:11 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

have to say I'm in agreement with barelynangel and LadyTigresse. They said it better than I could without getting flamed but when I see such people I just shrug my shoulders and think to myself they would not be who I consider dominant, think whatever turns em on and walk away whether it be in real life or online.




I agree that I find extra weight to be off-putting and not a signal of how I define leadership in the person I am with. BUT...I am not the boss of what everyone else is looking for. If a person likes someone with extra weight as their leader, then that is great for them. Maybe body size doesn't mean mastery or leadership to that person. The OP is ranting about a blanket definition that she has interpreted to fit their own life, she has no right applying that definition to everyone else on the planet.

Yes, being overweight is a topical problem in the US. Yes, I focus on not being that way myself and not wanting it in those I choose for partners. It's just my own personal choice and it means certain things to me. Its not a fit for me or what I consider Dominant. However, that's not to say that the women out there looking have my criteria at heart. Plus...it's very subjective and my feelings about weight aren't set in stone. Say for instance if a man is overweight as a result of some circumstance, and is addressing it in a determined manner. I'd find that very commendable.



zephyroftheNorth -> RE: Fat People (8/13/2011 10:59:17 AM)

Well then most if not all of us shouldn't have posted, angel, yet you singled Nephandi out. Needing to boost your self esteem angel?

#7

ETA: this "I really don't get your rant -- you aren't a Master so the post doesn't apply to you personally at all. So using yourself is moot." which is what I was responding to.



barelynangel -> RE: Fat People (8/13/2011 11:02:16 AM)

Yeah Zephyr that's it.  


Now go back and read my post and realize that her rant is about HERSELF.  And if you read my OTHER posts in the thread, you will see i state most people are taking this personally.  

Last i checked, you aren't the collarme police.  Maybe try discussing a topic for once instead of just joining to make silly comments or bitch because you don't like what someone has done.

angel




LadyConstanze -> RE: Fat People (8/13/2011 11:12:48 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

Well then most if not all of us shouldn't have posted, angel, yet you singled Nephandi out. Needing to boost your self esteem angel?

#7

ETA: this "I really don't get your rant -- you aren't a Master so the post doesn't apply to you personally at all. So using yourself is moot." which is what I was responding to.


You aren't trying to use reason? Wasted effort for somebody who couldn't even grasp that the OP was talking about fat people and BDSM and used master as an example...



pahunkboy -> RE: Fat People (8/13/2011 11:13:53 AM)

Is the OP really any worse then a guy popping in and right off the bat complaining about fakes?

So she does not want a fat BF-  that is her choice.   



Aylee -> RE: Fat People (8/13/2011 11:14:31 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: stoni23

lol


10 puppy points to you for your pic!



zephyroftheNorth -> RE: Fat People (8/13/2011 11:16:25 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze


quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

Well then most if not all of us shouldn't have posted, angel, yet you singled Nephandi out. Needing to boost your self esteem angel?

#7

ETA: this "I really don't get your rant -- you aren't a Master so the post doesn't apply to you personally at all. So using yourself is moot." which is what I was responding to.


You aren't trying to use reason? Wasted effort for somebody who couldn't even grasp that the OP was talking about fat people and BDSM and used master as an example...


I know, I know but I couldn't resist, hoping that somehow reason would prevail. Silly me...but at least she admitted trying to boost her self esteem, that's something isn't it?



pahunkboy -> RE: Fat People (8/13/2011 11:21:00 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze


quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

Well then most if not all of us shouldn't have posted, angel, yet you singled Nephandi out. Needing to boost your self esteem angel?

#7

ETA: this "I really don't get your rant -- you aren't a Master so the post doesn't apply to you personally at all. So using yourself is moot." which is what I was responding to.


You aren't trying to use reason? Wasted effort for somebody who couldn't even grasp that the OP was talking about fat people and BDSM and used master as an example...


I know, I know but I couldn't resist, hoping that somehow reason would prevail. Silly me...but at least she admitted trying to boost her self esteem, that's something isn't it?



How much do you weigh hun?



Wolf2Bear -> RE: Fat People (8/13/2011 11:21:17 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

By the age of 35, you should be learning that there is more to people than how they look.

That your first real thread on this forum is a rant about fat people would lead one to believe you are judgmental, prejudicial, and need to stereotype people to the point that you have to scream and rave about it.

Not perhaps, your best foot forward.

As Pam (Gungadin) pulled from your profile:

"i know i know submissives don't want to hear that, god forbid, their Dominant might have a weakness but if you walk around in that fantasy world just keep walking please."

Out of control is out of control, it doesn't matter if it's to do with diet or having the emotional fortitude of a toddler.

No one is in perfect control all the time, not even I.

Humble Chatte



Exactly.

I have yet to meet anyone who is perfect...

As to the OP, I would love for her to immerse herself in the Bear community for a month or two; we are not known to be slim in stature. I would like her to actually get to know a person who identifies as a bear and actually listen to their struggle with weight and self image issues that we have to deal with every bloody day of our lives.

I get not everyone has the same concept of what is attractive and what isn't....would be dammed nice if a bit more understanding and tolerance be used towards us who are overweight to some degree or not having the "perfect height/weight/hair color/complexion to be considered perfect.



zephyroftheNorth -> RE: Fat People (8/13/2011 11:22:07 AM)

150 lbs, what's that got to do with anything?

#7



Icarys -> RE: Fat People (8/13/2011 11:22:50 AM)

After I take a nap from this big meal I just ate (which I started at 9am this morning eastern time and just now have finished up), I'll waddle down to the kitchen, where I'll make a cake to celebrate my obesity. A nice red velvet cake similar to the one my chunky cheeked Cherokee grandmother used to make for me on special occasions.

Yummmmmmmmyyyyyy.



pahunkboy -> RE: Fat People (8/13/2011 11:23:07 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

150 lbs, what's that got to do with anything?

#7


Is that Canadian lbs or US lbs?




//HAAAAAAAAAAAA



zephyroftheNorth -> RE: Fat People (8/13/2011 11:24:08 AM)

Oy vey Hunky, Canadian, again what's that got to do with anything?



NuevaVida -> RE: Fat People (8/13/2011 11:24:31 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

Nephandi,

but you don't just let yourself go and go from overweight to obese.


Oh but I did.  In the course of nearly giving up on a huge struggle with depression, all I could comfort myself with was food.  It's just the way it was.  And the more I did that, the bigger I became, and the more I hated myself, so the more I ate.  Vicious cycle, really. 

It wasn't until I could work through all the emotional shit, which took some serious therapy and severe life changes, that I could start focusing on my body.  In my case, as is the case for many (and anyone who's seen Biggest Loser has seen evidence of this) obesity didn't develop from a happy place, and obesity caused serious esteem, self worth, and emotional issues that could not be faced until I was ready to face it.

Don't think I wasn't treated differently for being obese, either.  There's a serious difference in how I was looked at, regarded, and treated, based on my body - I got looks of disdain, rude remarks, and all sorts of other fun treatment, which was SUCH a help in bringing my self esteem to a place where I felt I deserved to take care of myself (not).  Not that it's anyone's job to assist with the esteem of others.

Fast forward to today, well I just weighed in at an 84 pound weight loss.  It's amazing and amusing to me at the way I'm treated now.  Like I'm suddenly an acceptable member of society because my body measures up to others' standards. Suddenly now I'm strong, dedicated, likeable, NOT lazy, and respected. All because I've brought myself to a size 10.

People handle stress and depression in all sorts of ways.  Some people eat themselves to oblivion and never gain weight.  But we as a society like to judge based on how people look, regardless of life circumstances.  I know a woman who gripes about women whose arms are flabby - "They should tone those up."  Seriously - whatever!!

I find the whole "I hate fat" mindset to be fascinating, and seriously close-minded.  If fat is unappealing to you, no problem there.  But to have such a strong reaction to those things you don't like makes me wonder what about it within you makes it so threatening.



pahunkboy -> RE: Fat People (8/13/2011 11:26:09 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

Oy vey Hunky, Canadian, again what's that got to do with anything?


I am just playing with you.

Cause you are a fun gal.     HUGS!



JWriter -> RE: Fat People (8/13/2011 11:26:33 AM)

quote:

Say for instance if a man is overweight as a result of some circumstance, and is addressing it in a determined manner. I'd find that very commendable.


Beautifully put!

PS: For those who have a problem with someone who is overweight and dominant taking a post about how overweight dominant people can't really be dominant as personal: WHAT? Are you insane?
Because, I made a post that just mentioned women who wear high heels, and, it was taken as very personally against all sorts of women who were not even under discussion, just because they also wear high heels sometimes. And, if someone came on this site and started posting that women cannot be dominant, or black people cannot be dominant, and it is proven by the way people perceived them as being, you'd have ZERO problem recognizing it as the filthy prejudice that it is, and, welcoming their castigation of such hate speech.

That I am not a "Master" to some, is only based on their sexual prejudices. I've owned slaves. I'm training some now. I am a "Master", I am overweight, and, I certainly have a right, under those truths, to speak out in favor of same, or, against those who speak out against same.

Aside from which, I am human, I am female, heterosexual, and, I like men and I don't like to see them needlessly abused for what is either their own problem. And, I have had Masters in the past, that occasionally changed weights, or took up a habit which I did not approve of, and, I very much loved them, all day, every day, for who they were, with no fluctuation of affection simply because they gained a few pounds, got ill, or decided not to shave.

So, for those of you who want to write to my inbox and tell me I have no right to speak out on this issue: Shame on you! Don't waste your time, trying to gammon someone who knows better, and, stop trying to bully the woman you already know does not care for your opinion. Silly bitches!

I have far more right to respond to the OP, than the OP did to make the post in the first place. After all, fat Masters are not what she is, nor are they what she seeks. I, however, am one, have served some in the past (not mine, but, at their behest), and, I wouldn't mind meeting some now, if I liked their personality.

Let the bitching commence. No, I mean , continue. lol




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