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Arpig -> RE: White Sub Girls for Black Men Only? (8/19/2011 8:26:40 PM)
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Hey dude, I'm not in your target demographic, but I have the same target demographic. You've been doing it on this site for a little over 3 months, I've been doing it for years. I don't have any trouble getting replies, granted, most of them are "Sorry, you sound like a nice guy, but I'm looking for somebody younger" variety, but I get answers. Even outright lesbians answer me.
I have had some that were interested, some of which got to a meet, and some which even got to the bedroom. Nothing worked out further, but that is due to who I am (short, fat, ugly, old hippie), not the approach I use on here. Clearly my approach is pretty darn good, because it does overcome those shortcomings.
I also get a LOT of views by women, of all ages. So I am doing something right there as well.
You're young, good looking, seriously buff, and apparently financially rather well off. I'm the opposite of all of those. You're not getting any responses, I am, and I'm getting laid now and then. So you tell me, who is doing things right?
OK, now I've established my credentials, here's my advice. Casual pics. Drop the nudity, by all means a shirtless shot or two, I mean those are good abs, but not posed shots. You at the beach or by the pool, that sort of thing. Also scrap the toy picture, nobody cares, it just makes you look silly, because as impressive as you think that collection is, it's a drop in the bucket to compared to others' toy collection.
Next, the profile text. Yours reads like an ad, give it some pizazz, some umph. Make it read like a conversation. Make them smile when they read it, give them a reason to remember it by fondly. Don't go into great detail about the specific plans you have, give them an outline, an idea of what you're like and what life with you will be like. Drop all the "porn" producer stuff, that does make you come across as a creepy wanker. Same with the journal, use that for your thoughts, not your plans. Those things can be discussed at a later date if you and she seem to be getting along.
Remember, your profile and 1st message aren't meant to get you the perfect sub, they're meant to start a conversation with a potentially perfect sub. It's up to you to get her from there. By laying out your kinks and fantasies in such detail with nothing but the barest information about who you are as a person, makes you seem 1 dimensional.
Now go look at my profile and see if you can figure out why mine works when yours doesn't.
Now that all important 1st message. NOTHING is more important than this. This can overcome flaws elsewhere, or can make the most perfect presentation irrelevant. My tool? Humour. Be funny, everybody loves to laugh and smile. if you can't think of something funny right away, make a note of the profile and take your time, write that letter when you come up with the funny.
So, now we've got you a good profile, and we've got you a good introductory letter, you have to keep them engaged. This is where you're going to have the most trouble. Now don't take this as an insult, it's an observation. But, like me, you're an asshole.
Now obviously, being an asshole in and of itself isn't an issue, many of the successful dominant men on here are assholes. A lot of women actually like assholes.
TO A DEGREE
So, let's work on that. the first step, is your attitudes and beliefs. Sorry, you're simply mistaken in many of them.
1. You seem to think women don't want a man who can empathize (They do, in fact to be any sort of effective leader, which is what a dominant is, one needs enormous empathy. You need to understand how those you lead think and feel. Not how you think they should or do, but how they actually do. People have this really annoying habit of not behaving the way we think they should, they're weird that way.)
2. You don't seem to like to treat women as individuals (You absolutely have to, because each and every one is completely unique. I've known a lot more of them than you have, from all over the world, and I've probably fucked more of them than you as well, so just take my word on this bit)
3. You seem to think you don't need to listen to what a woman thinks or says (You do. It's part of that leadership thing I mentioned in point 1).
4. You seem to think women are inherently inferior to men (They're not. Now you may be looking for one who thinks of you as her superior, but very few women are going to buy the idea that all women are inherently inferior to all men. This is because they only have to look at Uncle Jim, to know that this just isn't the case. Also, any woman with the ability to think rationally, will also understand the obvious fallacy in such a claim)
5. You seem to think liberals are pussies (They're not. Political persuasion has nothing to do with anything but political persuasion. I realize you're an American, so behaving sensibly in a political context is culturally foreign to you, but work on it. leave the politics to talks with your buddies over a few beers)
6. You seem to think you have things rough because you're white and/or male(You don't. In fact, it's just the opposite)
7. You seem to think you are oppressed by a matriarchal system (You aren't, we still live in a patriarchal system. Who's last name do you carry?)
Once you can learn to suppress these ideas, or at least the urge to express them early on, then you can proceed with a reasonable chance of getting to know the women who reply to you.
Best of luck.
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