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Am I right?? - 8/22/2011 4:07:01 PM   
oddlots347


Posts: 91
Joined: 6/4/2011
Status: offline 		A friend of mine and I were talking and he asked me if I would ever let anyone flog me. I answered him no because I am a dom and if I did wouldn't that make me a switch and not a dom? Any answers would be appreciated.
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RE: Am I right?? - 8/22/2011 4:10:58 PM   
DontLookBack


Posts: 11
Joined: 1/14/2009
Status: offline 		no it would make you a Dom that felt like being flogged

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RE: Am I right?? - 8/22/2011 4:11:18 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		You're wrong.
 
Masochism does not equal submission.  My best friend's girlfriend is a hard core masochist.  However, she is also dominant.  He service tops her in the ways that she wants.  She is always in control of what is done to her and there is no doubt whatsoever about who is in charge in their relationship. 

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RE: Am I right?? - 8/22/2011 4:15:03 PM   
SweetieinControl


Posts: 24
Joined: 8/20/2011
Status: offline 		I'm guessing, you'll be receiving many different answers to your question.

For me to give you a concrete answer, we'd have to determine the diagnostic criteria for a switch.

In my opinion, a person can bottom for a flogging scene and still be a dominant.  To me, my dominance holds true in my desire to lead and control my partner regardless if I'm the one give or receiving the sensation.  If I'm getting flogged, that makes me a dominant that is bottoming in a scene. 




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RE: Am I right?? - 8/22/2011 4:16:58 PM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline 		If you are going to limit yourself to things because of the DOMINANCE disease, then you are going to miss out on a lot of fun and sensations. Dominants can most certainly bottom to a flogging if that is their wish. Unless you happen to talk to a "My way is the ONLY way" person.

Been a dominant for 15 years and I thoroughly enjoy a good flogging in the right circumstances with the right person/s
Have fun,

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RE: Am I right?? - 8/22/2011 4:24:35 PM   
lupineEleven


Posts: 31
Joined: 3/5/2011
Status: offline 		~FR~

I know this absolutely amazing Dom (he's actually Master's and my mentor), he taught us a LOT about the lifestyle, about toys, he was the first one to show Master how to tie me up, he was the first one to give me a rope bra (damn that fugger HURT). He also really REALLY loved getting flogged and caned. They said they were like stingy/thuddy massages. Not a single person in the community would call him a switch though, because he wasn't the type to submit, he just liked getting hit, and he knew how he liked to get hit, and people would hit him the way he liked. One can top and bottom without being a dynamic switch.

Master is much the same way. Not necessarily with flogging, but with enjoying pain in general. I've raked my claws down his back to the point where it was bright red and almost bleeding, bit him til he had a hickey the size of Texas, but he never loses control of the situation, and that's what makes him Dominant.

So no, enjoying floggings doesn't make you a switch. It makes you a Dom with masochistic tendencies ;)


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RE: Am I right?? - 8/22/2011 4:26:07 PM   
fragilepieces


Posts: 416
Joined: 7/6/2008
Status: offline 		I know Dominants who will have someone else use a new toy on them just so they have an idea how it feels.   Actually I think that is very useful knowledge for a Dominant to have.  

Question for the OP---why put yourself in a box and worry about the labels?

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RE: Am I right?? - 8/22/2011 4:31:52 PM   
Epytropos


Posts: 699
Joined: 7/23/2011
Status: offline 		<insert standard quip about sexual labels>

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RE: Am I right?? - 8/22/2011 4:36:29 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		for you and yours you're probably right. For others you are wrong.

Personally for me I would not see that person as a Dom for me and would just pass them by but others have no problem with it. Since you're looking for a third to join your couple I would just make sure you make them aware of this proclivity if you decide to do it so that they know what they are getting.



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RE: Am I right?? - 8/22/2011 4:38:16 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I really don't consider a test swing to be a "flogging" or even "bottoming".  Nine times out of ten, you don't need another person for that unless you're talking about a longer whip.  Most floggers, I can test right on My arm.  I all ready know what the wand feels like.  Fire you can test on your own leg.  Same with needles.

Are you really quite sure that your "friend" isn't just hoping for a chance to top you?


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RE: Am I right?? - 8/22/2011 4:45:12 PM   
MercTech


Posts: 3706
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline 		I test the toys on myself.  Just makes sense to me to do a gauging blow to know what damage I'm doing.

Stefan

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RE: Am I right?? - 8/22/2011 4:55:04 PM   
DecadentDesire


Posts: 234
Joined: 6/18/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: oddlots347

A friend of mine and I were talking and he asked me if I would ever let anyone flog me. I answered him no because I am a dom and if I did wouldn't that make me a switch and not a dom? Any answers would be appreciated.


Yeah, it's like sucking a cock. If you do it once, you're gay for the rest of your life.

Now, on a serious note....

If you define dominance in purely terms of toys and who is holding the flogger, then I suppose it would make you a switch. However, doing or not doing anything to keep one's self in the perfect box they have envisioned is often a poor reason and in some cases, a testament to one's insecurity with their own identity.

Personally, I don't let people tie me up and hit me with floggers/stick me with needles/beat with canes, because I have enough self awareness to know I would not enjoy it and they would not enjoy me not enjoying it. On the flip side, I also don't hit other people with floggers/stick them with needles/beat them with canes, because I don't enjoy doing that.

What? A Dom without a flogger? I am sure I have completely blown some people's minds. But yes...there is some dominants who don't practice S/M. My interest is solely in D/S relationships and my desires and kinks revolve around expressions of male dominance/female submission.



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RE: Am I right?? - 8/22/2011 5:41:40 PM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		behavior doesn't necessarily make you who you are any more than clothing does...

I've been flogged plenty of times.. I'm not a switch.. I've alsohad all kinds of things done to me.. still not a switch...

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RE: Am I right?? - 8/22/2011 6:26:17 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		Acts are neither dominant nor submissive.  What we feel about those acts is a determining factor.

Personally, I find a hard flogging to be very relaxing, like a massage.  The harder he flogs me, the more massaged/relax I feel.  Do you consider getting a massage to be submissive?  It's just a physical act.


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RE: Am I right?? - 8/22/2011 6:40:13 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DecadentDesire

Yeah, it's like sucking a cock. If you do it once, you're gay for the rest of your life.

Dammit! You stole my line.


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RE: Am I right?? - 8/22/2011 8:49:21 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: oddlots347

A friend of mine and I were talking and he asked me if I would ever let anyone flog me. I answered him no because I am a dom and if I did wouldn't that make me a switch and not a dom? Any answers would be appreciated.


Why do you feel as though you have to conform to some code of behavior in order to be Dominant? No, I don't think being flogged makes you a switch or anything else except maybe sore. You're still the same person after the flogging that you were before, so whatever you were then is what you are after.

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RE: Am I right?? - 8/22/2011 8:52:22 PM   
kelleyskinky


Posts: 15
Joined: 7/25/2011
From: Northern Indiana
Status: offline 		No, submission is the heart, you can be get flogged and not submit....

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RE: Am I right?? - 8/22/2011 9:21:10 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		I'll be damned if I'd let a label Dominate me.

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RE: Am I right?? - 8/22/2011 9:37:11 PM   
HeatherMcLeather


Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline
quote:

I answered him no because I am a dom and if I did wouldn't that make me a switch and not a dom?
If anything, this mindset makes you a submissive. You are allowing others to dictate what you do. You wish to be seen and known as a Dominant, so you won't do certain things. You are submitting to their ideas of what is and isn't appropriate for a Dominant. The whole point of being a Dominant is to lead, not follow.
You set the rules, you decide the parameters of what you do based on what you want. You are confusing Dominant/submissive with top/bottom. While it is true that normally the Dominant is the top, it doesn't always have to be so, the words are not synonyms.

Dominant = The one who decides what is going to be done
Top = The one who does what the dominant decided is to be done.

Submissive = The one who goes along with the Dominant's decision.
Bottom = The one who has whatever it is that the Dominant decided is going to be done, done to them.


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RE: Am I right?? - 8/22/2011 9:41:54 PM   
BKSir


Posts: 4037
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: Salt Lake City, UT
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DontLookBack

no it would make you a Dom that felt like being flogged



Pretty much this, yeah. I'm a dom, there is no doubt about that in my pets eyes. But I also bottom once in a very rare while. Hell, I even made him tie ME up once, and use a riding crop on me. I wanted to see the quality of the cuffs and experience what he would be experiencing. That doesn't make me a sub or switch, that makes me "not a one trick pony", and also "concerned about his well being"...

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