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do i really fall into the sub category? - 8/24/2011 6:35:54 PM

makmesubmit

Posts: 9
Joined: 8/24/2011
Status: offline

Im new here. i finally decided to pursue these thoughts and feelings i've always had. But when i look around, all i see is subs who want to obey commands and do as they are told. The thing is, thats not me. I want to be made to obey via punishment and discipline. So im just not really sure how to classify myself.

Aprreciate the help.

Post #: 1

RE: do i really fall into the sub category? - 8/24/2011 6:38:23 PM

hangemhigh1953

Posts: 245
Joined: 7/8/2011
Status: offline

So basically you want someone to dominate you? That would make you the submissive.

But don't get me started on the effectiveness of punishment on obedience XD

< Message edited by hangemhigh1953 -- 8/24/2011 6:39:38 PM >

(in reply to makmesubmit)

Post #: 2

RE: do i really fall into the sub category? - 8/24/2011 6:40:32 PM

TheBanshee

Posts: 403
Joined: 7/19/2007
Status: offline

It is whatever you want it to be, and whatever your partner wants it to be. Don't let anyone tell you there is a "right" way. What works for your relationship may not work in any other, and vice versa. Good luck in your ventures.

(in reply to makmesubmit)

Post #: 3

RE: do i really fall into the sub category? - 8/24/2011 7:12:45 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

I would classify you as a brat but that's my view. You can call yourself whatever you want. No one really cares except you and whoever you decide to be with.

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Everything has changed

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Post #: 4

RE: do i really fall into the sub category? - 8/24/2011 7:45:49 PM

HannahLynHeather

Posts: 2950
Joined: 4/4/2011
From: where it's at
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high maintenance.

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(in reply to makmesubmit)

Post #: 5

RE: do i really fall into the sub category? - 8/24/2011 8:15:40 PM

Iamsemisweet

Posts: 3651
Joined: 4/9/2011
From: The Great Northwest, USA
Status: offline

Please, I would love to hear you get started on the effectiveness of punishment on obedience, cutey. That Skinner comment you made the other day was hot.

quote:

ORIGINAL: hangemhigh1953

So basically you want someone to dominate you? That would make you the submissive.

But don't get me started on the effectiveness of punishment on obedience XD

< Message edited by Iamsemisweet -- 8/24/2011 8:16:40 PM >

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(in reply to hangemhigh1953)

Post #: 6

RE: do i really fall into the sub category? - 8/25/2011 4:27:36 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: makmesubmit

Im new here. i finally decided to pursue these thoughts and feelings i've always had. But when i look around, all i see is subs who want to obey commands and do as they are told. The thing is, thats not me. I want to be made to obey via punishment and discipline. So im just not really sure how to classify myself.

Aprreciate the help.

It makes you submissive - as does those subs "who want to obey commands and do as they are told".

Personally, I think you wanna do the latter as well, but that's all the submissive you (and those other subs); you don't get that from the Dominant other. And for someone lacking r/l experience with a Dominant, I can understand you being more focused on the mysteries of that which doesn't come from within you. That which only the Dominant half can bring to a relationship - rules, punishment, discipline etc....

Lol, you're in the early throes of sub-frenzy without even meeting a Dominant, yet. Might wanna research that before you do....

Welcome to the Forums. :)

Focus.

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(in reply to makmesubmit)

Post #: 7

RE: do i really fall into the sub category? - 8/25/2011 4:40:43 AM

LillyBoPeep

Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline

you're a sub. but try not to worry too much about sticking to a label for yourself beyond something general. we are all different and the details come out in the wash over time.
there are different "kinds" of submission that work for different kinds of people.

_____________________________

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"Obey your Master." Metallica

(in reply to Focus50)

Post #: 8

RE: do i really fall into the sub category? - 8/25/2011 8:42:05 AM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather

high maintenance.

And there we have the heart of the matter.

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I give good thread.

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Post #: 9

RE: do i really fall into the sub category? - 8/25/2011 8:59:30 AM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: makmesubmit

Im new here. i finally decided to pursue these thoughts and feelings i've always had. But when i look around, all i see is subs who want to obey commands and do as they are told. The thing is, thats not me. I want to be made to obey via punishment and discipline. So im just not really sure how to classify myself.

Aprreciate the help.

I think it means that for you the thought of punishment makes you hot.... . You might be someone who will enjoy punishment scenes and submitting within that context but not outside that framework.

You may just need to find a dom who enjoys punishment dynamics.

My Master does not enjoy punishment but that does not mean there aren't those out there that don't; also some people employ regular physical discipline to enforce submission in addition to punishment when one 'misbehaves'.

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(in reply to makmesubmit)

Post #: 10

RE: do i really fall into the sub category? - 8/25/2011 9:02:49 AM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

If you're new to this, then it's likely (like me) that you need to find the "right" dominant who will make you want to obey.

I met many lovely dominant men in my search, but I just didn't feel that fire inside that made me want to submit to them. Nothing wrong with me, or them, just the chemistry wasn't there.

When I met Master, I felt it straight away. Now submitting and obeying is not a problem. In fact, it feels so right and natural.

Go to munches, meet people, take it slow and hopefully you'll find the one who inspires you too.

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There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to makmesubmit)

Post #: 11

RE: do i really fall into the sub category? - 8/25/2011 9:24:23 AM

Hisprettybaby

Posts: 781
Joined: 4/13/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: makmesubmit

I want to be made to obey via punishment and discipline. So im just not really sure how to classify myself.

Aprreciate the help.

Maybe a sub who wants a punishment dynamic?

~Hisprettybaby~

(in reply to makmesubmit)

Post #: 12

RE: do i really fall into the sub category? - 8/25/2011 9:36:34 AM

usrnamenottaken

Posts: 7
Joined: 8/25/2011
Status: offline

I've been in this type of relationship for almost a year (My first, actually). My boyfriend was new to it also so I started out going off of porn, the things I had fantasized about for years. A lot of it was based off of punishment. It worked for awhile until I became sorta dependent on him for me to behave. I felt like he was doing more work than I was and maybe wasn't enjoying it as much as he should be. After reading these forums, I tried submitting without threats of punishment, tried to do things for him without him asking. I am happier than ever. Letting him take the lead and get things his way has been wonderful for me too. Turning him on actually turns me on more than my trying to do what turns me on does. I don't miss the punishment dynamic at all. I have completely different fantasies now too, ones of doing what he wants with me when he wants. I used to fantasize about being punished. I would try out submitting to him without the punishment dynamic, you might be surprised and actually like it

(in reply to myotherself)

Post #: 13

RE: do i really fall into the sub category? - 8/25/2011 9:56:02 AM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

Every relationship is unique to every couple. I'm in a punishment dynamic and I think that's what made this relationship last for me. For some it works, for some it doesn't. I'd say "suck it and see"

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There's nowt so queer as folk

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Post #: 14

RE: do i really fall into the sub category? - 8/25/2011 10:01:01 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Force play is how it's usually referred to. The problem is that not very many dominants are interested in this at 6:00 AM when they just want you to make them a cup of coffee.

Wanting this during play can be fun. Wanting this on a daily basis makes you a pain in the ass. It also puts the dominant at risk if you complain to the police. "I didn't immediately get up and make coffee so she beat me with a crop. See the welts". Nobody wants that and they're leery of strangers who do ask for this.

I suggest you join your local community and talk to people who do this for real. They can tell you how things work day to day.

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Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to myotherself)

Post #: 15

RE: do i really fall into the sub category? - 8/25/2011 11:22:56 AM

SweetieinControl

Posts: 24
Joined: 8/20/2011
Status: offline

Dear makemesubmit,

To me, sounds like your either a submissive or a bottom... but either way- you're one that is interested in a punishment dynamic.

What's most important is the label you give yourself. Only time and experience will make you be truly sure.

Get out there, but be safe....

(in reply to makmesubmit)

Post #: 16

RE: do i really fall into the sub category? - 8/25/2011 11:47:04 AM

paulmcuk

Posts: 80
Joined: 4/16/2011
Status: offline

As others have said, you probably still fit within the sub category. I myself like obeying but I'm also not adverse to punishment. The ability to physically dominate - through punishment and pain - is a demonstration of female superiority. The Domme takes control through force rather than having it meekly surrendered to her. Her superiority is thus proven rather than being assumed.

(in reply to makmesubmit)

Post #: 17

RE: do i really fall into the sub category? - 8/25/2011 12:07:38 PM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

I think what the OP is talking about is force play - at least it reads that way to me.

My punishment dynamic is very different. I want to serve, and I try hard to serve well. But when I mess up for reasons that I CAN control, then punishment ensues. Makes me think that little bit harder next time, and gives us both a chance to draw a line under the problem and move on.

Like I said, horses for courses. You never know what works until you give it a go

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 18

RE: do i really fall into the sub category? - 8/25/2011 1:10:55 PM

seekingreality

Posts: 599
Joined: 8/11/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: makmesubmit

Im new here. i finally decided to pursue these thoughts and feelings i've always had. But when i look around, all i see is subs who want to obey commands and do as they are told. The thing is, thats not me. I want to be made to obey via punishment and discipline. So im just not really sure how to classify myself.

Aprreciate the help.

You fall into the category of someone who wants to be put in a category.

(in reply to makmesubmit)

Post #: 19

RE: do i really fall into the sub category? - 8/25/2011 1:39:30 PM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: makmesubmit
all i see is subs who want to obey commands and do as they are told. The thing is, thats not me. I want to be made to obey via punishment and discipline. So im just not really sure how to classify myself.

We don't know you, so we can't define what you are. Only you can do that.

What do you mean when you say that you want to be "made to obey"? Your answer to that will help you to understand whether you're submissive.

If what you mean by "made to obey" is actually "agree to accept the punishment", you may be a masochist, but not a submissive. Enjoying (or accepting) pain is NOT the same as submission.

Frankly, I'm surprised that so many chimed in saying that you ARE submissive. You haven't really demonstrated that (IMO). The only thing that I can deduct from your OP is that you seem to enjoy/desire punishment and discipline.

(in reply to makmesubmit)

Post #: 20

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