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Video killed the radio star... - 8/25/2011 4:31:33 AM   
BonesFromAsh


Posts: 1362
Joined: 6/17/2010
Status: offline 		I was enjoying some good food and conversation not too long ago with a number of kinky folks after a munch...a good mix of new, not quite so new, been around the block more than once and those who're leathery great-grandfolk...and the topic of the internet came up.

The question basically came down to this....did the internet's influence "kill" bdsm by making it available to anyone and everyone?

The discussion was pretty...um, lively to say the least. I'm curious to read what folks here have to say.
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RE: Video killed the radio star... - 8/25/2011 4:54:20 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		Damn you for that earworm, Bones!! LOL

I dont think it's killed it... ALTERED it, with the influx of folks who only come to it through the internet (just look at the discussions about what does BDSM stand for, as an example).



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RE: Video killed the radio star... - 8/25/2011 5:01:21 AM   
BonesFromAsh


Posts: 1362
Joined: 6/17/2010
Status: offline 		Hey Greedy, I've had that damn song in my head for days.....ugh! Glad I could share my pain with you

The altered part...do you see it for the good or....something else? This was also part of the discussion, btw.

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RE: Video killed the radio star... - 8/25/2011 5:06:57 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		I see it generally as being for the good. It meant that people like me, who would have been too scared to get out there in r/l and meet people when I was just curious, could get to know a bit about it first.

It also meant that it widened the pool of potential partners because there are a lot of people online who don't do the whole r/l munch/club/play parties thing. Including my new relationship.

But for me, perhaps one of the most important positives is that it is making wiitwd more mainstream. I even had a chat with my mother the other day about a fetish club that used to be run in a popular bar nearby. She has no idea that it's "my" scene, but she was able to say it wasn't anything terrible and that people can do what they want behind closed doors. Maybe in 20 or 30 years bdsm relationships may be as accepted as gay relationships are now? Who knows

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RE: Video killed the radio star... - 8/25/2011 5:28:12 AM   
Endivius


Posts: 1238
Joined: 8/22/2011
Status: offline 		The great thing about the internet as well as the tragedy of it, is that it brings people together. It allows people from all walks of life in all corners of the globe to meet eachother when it would otherwise not be possible. It deffinitely altered the lifestyle as a whole, I would say for the better. Even if a person was just curious about exploring thier inhibitions, places like CM allow them to connect and communicate and build the confidence to do so. Without wich they might otherwise never even attempt. There are many facets about BDSM that people who are simply ignorant, narrow minded, or insecure would not be able to get educated and experience on without the internet. It allows annonymity and privacy and that in itself is the shield most people who are curious need in order to gain the desire to explore things they otherwise would be too ashamed to do in public.

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RE: Video killed the radio star... - 8/25/2011 5:29:38 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		IMO, it's a good thing.

1. The community is much larger than it used to be.  Whether you think of BDSM as kinks or people, the menu of both available to all of us just got WAY bigger.
2. Reputations mean more now.  The folks that did this pre-Internet are either revered for their experience or quickly exposed for their lack of integrity.  Word travels a LOT more quickly.



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RE: Video killed the radio star... - 8/25/2011 5:31:26 AM   
Endivius


Posts: 1238
Joined: 8/22/2011
Status: offline 		Well Said DarkSteven.

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RE: Video killed the radio star... - 8/25/2011 5:39:29 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		yeah, what they said ;)

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RE: Video killed the radio star... - 8/25/2011 5:53:09 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Well, Bones, it depends on how you look at it.

No, it didn't 'kill' BDSM.  More people can now find others than ever before.  This is a good thing.

Did it change leather?  Yes it did, and not for the better.  Too many "add water and stir" folks.

Well, we "old" folks, we're still here.


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RE: Video killed the radio star... - 8/25/2011 6:06:45 AM   
HannahLynHeather


Posts: 2950
Joined: 4/4/2011
From: where it's at
Status: offline 		i guess that really depends on how you see bdsm online. to me, these boards are the extent of bdsm online. i don't chat, or try meet people online or any of that shit. i do all my bdsm flesh on flesh, i meet my partners out there as well.

so to me the internet has enhanced bdsm enormously. there's no way in fuck i am ever going to be in colorado, so there's no chance i would ever know steven or lance, yet through the internet, i can. i can learn from them, their experiences and perspective, and just enjoy their humour.

i think most of the internet has killed bdsm is an elitist old timer "i was here when it was real" sort of fucking golden age of bdsm bullshit. it's right in the op:
quote:

did the internet's influence "kill" bdsm by making it available to anyone and everyone?
like it was meant to be some exclusive club open only to the true believers. fuck that! why shouldn't everybody and anybody be allowed access to things kinky?

this isn't some religion, it's just extra fun fucking.


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RE: Video killed the radio star... - 8/25/2011 6:24:08 AM   
BonesFromAsh


Posts: 1362
Joined: 6/17/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Well, Bones, it depends on how you look at it.

No, it didn't 'kill' BDSM.  More people can now find others than ever before.  This is a good thing.

Did it change leather?  Yes it did, and not for the better.  Too many "add water and stir" folks.

Well, we "old" folks, we're still here.



LadyPact, this was pretty much the split that occured within the group of people I was with. Sort of comes back to the whole issue of whether a bdsm community (online or otherwise) is different from a Leather community. The folks in the discussion I mentioned who were from a Leather background bemoaned the 'easy peasy' attitude of online.

For what it's worth...I hope some of the "old folks" stay around, online or otherwise, because I think there's lots to be learned from elders...in any walk of life.

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RE: Video killed the radio star... - 8/25/2011 6:56:50 AM   
peppermint


Posts: 5171
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		The internet did not kill BDSM. As others have said without the internet we probably would never have found out about the local hands on crowd. That is the important distinction. Some people found out about BDSM online and for them it is an online game. Most of those who are really serious hooked up with their local munches or events. That was the good part of the internet.

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RE: Video killed the radio star... - 8/25/2011 7:00:16 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I'll tell you a story, Bones.  Means a lot to Me, but most folks won't care.

Just about three years ago, I was asked to present a vest.  For leather folks, that's a pretty big honor.  Giving a vest is just one step above from presenting boots.  It's kind of a big deal.

So, before this gal came to Me, asking if I would do this thing, I was sitting during dinner with this guy named Sir Michael.  This was an old time leather man.  We talked about this site and how foolish he thought I was for even having a presence here.

To make a long story short, the vest came to Me.  Here I was, vest in hand.  I never knew it's owner.  All I had known was what folks had told Me about the man.  He lived and he died (cancer) with leather in his veins.  His family surrounded Me and I had never met this man!

I remember standing in the circle and saying hello.  I remember saying words about what leather meant to Me.  I remember saying how this man was still connecting us.  People tell Me that I was terrible eloquent.  I don't know much about that.

After the ceremony, I remember this man, Sir Michael, he came to Me.  There were tears in his eyes as he walked up.  He'd given Me all of that shit just a little while before.

Do you know what he said?  It wasn't some great speech.  It was pretty simple.

"You really are the new generation of leather.  I was wrong."

In those few words, that man changed My life that day.  I knew I had a history.  I was connected in some strange way.  For what it's worth, I still am.


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The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: Video killed the radio star... - 8/25/2011 7:04:18 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Well, Bones, it depends on how you look at it.

No, it didn't 'kill' BDSM.  More people can now find others than ever before.  This is a good thing.

Did it change leather?  Yes it did, and not for the better.  Too many "add water and stir" folks.

Well, we "old" folks, we're still here.



*ding*


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RE: Video killed the radio star... - 8/25/2011 7:20:20 AM   
stoni23


Posts: 178
Joined: 1/14/2010
Status: offline 		I'd probably never even know bdsm existed if not for the internet, so yea im grateful for it

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RE: Video killed the radio star... - 8/25/2011 7:28:40 AM   
BonesFromAsh


Posts: 1362
Joined: 6/17/2010
Status: offline 		LP, thanks for sharing that story. It's those little moments that can be so big.

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RE: Video killed the radio star... - 8/25/2011 9:01:01 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Excellent story, LP!

By and large, I am in the "internet good" camp. If it weren't for the internet, I would have missed hearing and talking to people from all over the world, from all types of backgrounds. I have learned so much from getting to "know" the people who lived it--maybe at the same time I did-- but in different parts of the country.

The internet has also made it easy for every douchcanoe to clog the river. Such is life.

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RE: Video killed the radio star... - 8/25/2011 9:53:26 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Without the internet, I would never have known that there were men interested in doing to me the stuff I had always fantasized about. The only people I knew who did this were gay men into hardcore s & m, all NSA.

Online I found other women like me, and found a partner who balances me.




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RE: Video killed the radio star... - 8/25/2011 11:24:14 AM   
Ninebelowzero


Posts: 3134
Joined: 8/5/2011
Status: offline 		In my experience, prior to the internet BDSM was almost a secret society & I couldn't find out anything about it or where to go (me being a country boy) & it was a continual quest to find out more about it which was difficult at best. For me the internet has been a good thing. I didn't even know what a Munch was until I found various sites.
I understand exactly where the veterans are coming from, it must be quite saddening to some to see it thrown wide open but hey you get lots of new victims to play with. So it can't be all bad.

Oh & lest we forget we would never have had the Puzzy thread without the internet.

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RE: Video killed the radio star... - 8/25/2011 1:49:28 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BonesFromAsh

The question basically came down to this....did the internet's influence "kill" bdsm by making it available to anyone and everyone?



No, quite the opposite.  Most spent YEARS trying to understand why they are the way they are, or even what to call it -- let alone having nobody to talk to about it, or to learn the difference between the Power Dynamic and ABUSE?!!

Thus, in my opinion, any negatives are VASTLY outnumbered by the positives to thousands -- heck, the ability to connect with others and learn how to avoid abuse (or worse) alone overshadows any potential negatives.





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