RE: Playing with Sub when your away

RE: Playing with Sub when your away (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master

Message

OsideGirl -> RE: Playing with Sub when your away (9/4/2011 12:26:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact quote: ORIGINAL: xCallMeSirx I find it interesting that so many people have labels and opinions based entirely on a scenario they have created in their own mind. Not knowing any of the facts or details as to how this came about or why it continues. I will not waste my time trying to get people I don't know to understand the situation. I didn't create the scenario. She's married to somebody else who doesn't know that she's seeing you. That's the fact part. The other details that you are basing your decision on for being involved with her, unless you've spent time in their home to observe with your own eyes, you don't even know if that's the reality. You're basing your opinion on what you've been told by a woman who is already lying to her own husband about being involved with you. In other words, she deceives the person that she lives with, but you believe that she tells you the complete truth. Nobody with their head screwed on straight is going to swallow that one. quote: If trashing people on the internet makes you feel like a better person, knock yourself out. I'm not trashing you. I am telling you like it is. If you came here and said that you were doing something else to harm a third party, I'd tell you that was wrong, too. quote: I find this all quite amusing. The Hamster Herpes comment made me glad I wasn't drinking a soda, that is funny shit right there. Yeah, that was pretty good. On a serious note though, I do hope you are practicing safer sex. I'm sure she's told you that you're the only one, she's never done this type of thing before, yadda, yadda, but considering the track record about honesty, you might want to think about that. quote: One thing is absolutely dead on correct, What I am doing is for my personal enjoyment. It just happens to be bringing joy to a Woman who has not had any in her life for a very long time. If that makes me a terrible person, well fuck it, I'll live with it. Like I've said, unless you've been in their house, you honestly don't know what their lives are like the other six days of the week. quote: On with the show, light the torches, form a possie and let that mob mentality run wild. What flipping mob? Oh, you mean the general opinion that doing somebody's wife behind her husband's back isn't all that ethical? Let's sort something out right here. It doesn't matter one wit to Me if I'm the only one pointing out your shortcomings or if I'm not the only one. I seriously wouldn't care if I was the only person on this planet who thought less of you for your actions. I'd still tell you that I don't think much of you as a human being. This is dead on. She's lying to the most important person in her life. The person that she stood with in front of family and friends and made vows and promises to. You are not the most important person in her life. So, if she'd lie to him, she sure as hell isn't going to hesitate in lying to you.

gorgeoushair -> RE: Playing with Sub when your away (9/4/2011 12:48:28 PM)
@ littlewonder -- thanks for saying what needs to be said. i wonder whether the OP knows this anyway and is getting his jollies here, too. [8\|]

HannahLynHeather -> RE: Playing with Sub when your away (9/4/2011 4:37:56 PM)
who gives a fuck what he thinks or wants, he's a fucking scumbag.

swizzwoo -> RE: Playing with Sub when your away (9/4/2011 4:43:57 PM)
quote: my sub wants me to tell her sexual things to do when we are apart. Her examples were only, "tell me when and how long to have a vaginal or anal plug" she is a preschool teacher and I'm reluctant to have her do things at work ummm whos actaully in charge is all i can say you or her!?

xCallMeSirx -> RE: Playing with Sub when your away (9/4/2011 6:20:07 PM)
I'm new to all this and got my definitions mixed up. I don't want to be a full time master, too much work. Not something I would enjoy. But I do like to Top her when she visits, and she loves to bottom to me when she is here and away. She is topping from the bottom sometimes but I don't care, if it makes me a switch, whatever. Our kinks are working for us and that is all that really matters. As we expand our limits the sex just gets hotter and it is already smoking hot. I am here to learn and I have learned a lot. To HannahLyn: Fuck is supposed to be saved to add emotion to your language, if you use it in every sentence it loses any impact it might have otherwise had, that and it shows you have no class. My morals came from being raised christian, according to my upbringing being a poly amorous lesbian will put you in hell right right next to me. Except I will ask for forgivness for my sins and I assume you won't because there is nothing wrong with what your doing (in your mind) I am going to try to get her to try to work things out with her husband but I must earn her trust before I can start training her. It's a process, I can't fix her overnight. Hopefully when I get done with her, her husband will want to thank me. The way things are between them right now, he can't fix this himself. One more thing: I am Sir Hammy to you little one.

coookie -> RE: Playing with Sub when your away (9/4/2011 6:44:08 PM)
umm if you are going to pull the bible out ... the fact that you are a christian and doing something you know is on that list of big rules jesus put out (ya know thou shalt not covet thy neighbours wife kinda dealie) makes you one of those weekend believers. You think it is cool to sin all week long and then ask for forgiveness on sunday? God forgives up to a point. He still has that whole fire and brimstone thing going on remember. I would suggest stop trying to defend it. It makes it more of an issue. You are happy with what you and she are doing and you feel justified in that. Super.

Endivius -> RE: Playing with Sub when your away (9/4/2011 7:21:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: xCallMeSirx I'm new to all this and got my definitions mixed up. I don't want to be a full time master, too much work. Not something I would enjoy. But I do like to Top her when she visits, and she loves to bottom to me when she is here and away. She is topping from the bottom sometimes but I don't care, if it makes me a switch, whatever. That's good, cause you sure as hell won't make it as a part time master or dom. quote: Our kinks are working for us and that is all that really matters. As we expand our limits the sex just gets hotter and it is already smoking hot. I am here to learn and I have learned a lot. It's a shame you are skipping the important parts. quote: To HannahLyn: Fuck is supposed to be saved to add emotion to your language, if you use it in every sentence it loses any impact it might have otherwise had, that and it shows you have no class. My morals came from being raised christian, according to my upbringing being a poly amorous lesbian will put you in hell right right next to me. Except I will ask for forgivness for my sins and I assume you won't because there is nothing wrong with what your doing (in your mind) Probably not a good idea to defend yourself using the "sky boogieman's judgement cometh." To wich I will refer you to here for a reality check: http://www.humanistsofutah.org/2002/WhyCantIOwnACanadian_10-02.html Oh yes, religeon. Good thing you get to ask for forgiveness, you'll need it. I wonder if your God accepts payment plans on the whole redemption thing. quote: I am going to try to get her to try to work things out with her husband but I must earn her trust before I can start training her. It's a process, I can't fix her overnight. Hopefully when I get done with her, her husband will want to thank me. The way things are between them right now, he can't fix this himself. One more thing: I am Sir Hammy to you little one. You shouldn't be attempting to train someone when you are clearly the sub, topping. Furthermore, it isnt your place to fix the relationship, but you do not have to assist in it's destruction.

HannahLynHeather -> RE: Playing with Sub when your away (9/4/2011 8:01:49 PM)
fuck you rodent

Passion8Kisser -> RE: Playing with Sub when your away (9/4/2011 8:02:16 PM)
Just to chime in on the side of making the right, though difficult choice.... Then again he wasn't/isn't my only option... I was approached by a man who wanted to cheat on his wife with me. Man was he hot too, like the hottest guy that I might ever have the chance to have sex with Hot... for a moment, he almost had me fooled into believing that maybe, maybe, his reasons were justified. His wife wasn't into sex much. She was pretty deep in depression that treatment didn't help with too much. Soooooo, instead of ending it as soon as he told me, I decided we'd talk it over, and I'd think about how I felt, and see if there was room or reason to make that next move with this guy. HE had a good reason, he thinks, for needing more than he gets at home, thus cheating. So we get together a second time, we have dinner and watch a movie...Now that I know he's married I put stops on his reaching hands, and his overly sexual advances. I know by now, Hot or not a liar is no good for anyone, and a cheating spouse is the best of liars. (at least if they can really get by with it, you know where the other spouse doesn't suspect a thing.) His movie pick was awesome; it illustrated to both of us why I needed to break up with him. Why it had to happen NOW, and not later, after the sex was enjoyed by both parties. So here's what I learned from my experience brief as it was. . . 1. There is no legitimate reason in the world to cheat on one's spouse. Only excuses. (Divorce is an okay option, cheating is the wrong one.) 2. There is no reason why I should want to date someone who lies to the person who is very close to them. (how smooth of a liar does or will that make them through sheer necessity?) 3. IF I think to the future, who would want to date someone who was with a cheater? what might I acquire from someone who makes the choice of dishonesty and ommissions? It was hard to do the right thing. But I knew what the right thing was, because I too can not fix their relationship. I will however not have on my head being part of destroying it. Being guilty of knowingly being with someone who's married, that I could not bear to have to live with. To the OP though, if you can live with that shame; I guess more power to you. If you can watch her world fall to pieces as it inevitably will, that's cold and callous. Yeah things in her life may be unpredictably bad. She may even tell you straight up just how bad they are, and why they are. But you're mere existence, and sexual involvement in her life especially, can not be considered helpful. Upon it's discovery it could and probably will in fact be the virus that killed their relationship beyond the dire circumstances they are now in. And it would seem in the case of my would be cheater; he may have decided that indeed cheating was the wrong move. That is how our last conversation sounded anyway. ~~~~ EVEN AS A SUBMISSIVE I HAD THE COURAGE TO STAND UP FOR WHAT I KNOW TO BE THE RIGHT THING. ~~~

Passion8Kisser -> RE: Playing with Sub when your away (9/4/2011 8:03:50 PM)
come, come now HannahLynHeather; We all should Know that is the last thing you would do. Very last thing on earth, it seems.

LadyPact -> RE: Playing with Sub when your away (9/4/2011 11:56:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: xCallMeSirx One more thing: I am Sir Hammy to you little one. Are you even half serious? I damn near shot diet pepsi out of My nose. You want to try to condescend to anyone here? Buddy, you ain't got the juice.

xCallMeSirx -> RE: Playing with Sub when your away (9/5/2011 7:09:38 AM)
I am not expecting this to change how anyone feels about the situation but for those who seem to be interested or disgusted you might as well know what I know. She told me her marriage is basically over "there is nothing there for me anyomore", She has already decided she wants to get a divorce but wants to get the children raised before doing so. It is a difficult situation for her, apparently she has decided the childrens well being is more important to her than her own happiness. I don't know all the details but I assume the household is stable and functional but she has fallen out of love with her husband. We are not in love, I am not replacing her husband. I am not stealing her from her husband. I am not her boyfriend, we are just friends who play around with role play, bondage, spanking, torture, etc... Not an ideal situation and I'm looking for someone I can have a real connection with to share my newly exposed dominant traits. I am not going to be able to see her for almost 3 weeks, it might be a good oppurtunity for me to think about what I am doing and decide if it's worth it. I didn't seek her, she found me. It is wrong and I know it, but it's my problem and my struggle. I still welcome comments both good and bad. Like some of you, I'm not sure staying in a bad marriage is good for the kids. But ending it by finding out she is cheating sure won't be a good outcome. I really don't want to talk to her about all this, but it's starting to sink in, that is exactly what I need to do. If I let her know that I don't feel good about what we are doing, I'm pretty sure she will realize she doesn't feel right about what she is doing either. I would like ideas to turn her thoughts to her husband. If I just dump her, she will just find someone else. I know this isn't really my problem, but I got myself involved and I always like to try and fix things. I'm thinking of starting by asking her if she has shared her BDSM fantasies with her husband. It's the excitement of the BDSM games she likes, not me... Sir Hammy

tinkergirl -> RE: Playing with Sub when your away (9/5/2011 7:23:12 AM)
Wow are you for real? Quoting scripture to cover your ass and THIS is your justification?? That she is a bit unhappy in her relationship? Grow some balls and tell this lying whore that you wont be part of the problem that rips this family farther apart. No what you are doing to these children is NOT good for them. Divorce would be so much more healthy then finding out their mother is a skanky slut with some bible pushing wannabe asshole that holds the word up when it suits him. This is the saddest thing I have ever seen and if this is the kind of shit that goes on in this lifestyle I seriously need to question if I belong here.

OsideGirl -> RE: Playing with Sub when your away (9/5/2011 7:28:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: xCallMeSirx She told me her marriage is basically over "there is nothing there for me anyomore", She has already decided she wants to get a divorce but wants to get the children raised before doing so 1) This is only her story. You don't know if it's true because she's already proven that she is willing to lie. 2) Even if it is true, there's no excuse for what she's doing. 3) If it comes out the kids are going to be destroyed. They will no longer trust their mother because she has perpetrated a life altering lie. 4) If it comes out are you prepared to be subpoenaed as a witness in custody hearing? Get dragged through the mud for having kinky sex with a kindegarten teacher? quote: apparently she has decided the childrens well being is more important to her than her own happiness. No, she hasn't. If she had decided that, she wouldn't be cheating on her husband and lying to her kids. You keep trying to justify what she's doing, but there isn't any justification.

littlewonder -> RE: Playing with Sub when your away (9/5/2011 7:54:48 AM)
another who thinks he's some woman's white knight and rescuer.... dude....you are NOT her knight in shining armor. You cannot rescue her!!! I soooo hate when men think like this. If you still after all this think you can fix her then order her to a marriage counselor. I mean really....you think you can make her fall in love with her partner again? Dude, you are NOT qualified. All you're doing is destroying her marriage even more than it already is. At least by them seeing a QUALIFIED counselor they may actually be able to save their marriage. She won't save it by fucking you!

sexyred1 -> RE: Playing with Sub when your away (9/5/2011 8:26:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tinkergirl This is the saddest thing I have ever seen and if this is the kind of shit that goes on in this lifestyle I seriously need to question if I belong here. Really? This is the saddest thing you have ever seen in life? Wow. I am kind of sad over people losing their homes after the hurricane, friends who are out of work for over a year, people starving in the world, hearing about a friend of mine just diagnosed with breast cancer. Your world must be limited if some guy cheating with a married chick is the saddest thing ever. As for asking if this is the kind of shit that goes on in this lifestyle, it has nothing to do with the "the lifestyle". It goes on every day in the world, vanilla or kink. Must be a slow day on the boards....

masmiss -> RE: Playing with Sub when your away (9/5/2011 8:39:26 AM)
quote: Sir Hammy Barf[:'(]

tinkergirl -> RE: Playing with Sub when your away (9/5/2011 8:57:09 AM)
Sorry I meant "saddest" as in pathetic not as in tragic but yes fair comment on the fact that cheaters are everywhere.

agirl -> RE: Playing with Sub when your away (9/5/2011 1:07:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: xCallMeSirx I am not expecting this to change how anyone feels about the situation but for those who seem to be interested or disgusted you might as well know what I know. She told me her marriage is basically over "there is nothing there for me anyomore", She has already decided she wants to get a divorce but wants to get the children raised before doing so. It is a difficult situation for her, apparently she has decided the childrens well being is more important to her than her own happiness. I don't know all the details but I assume the household is stable and functional but she has fallen out of love with her husband. We are not in love, I am not replacing her husband. I am not stealing her from her husband. I am not her boyfriend, we are just friends who play around with role play, bondage, spanking, torture, etc... Not an ideal situation and I'm looking for someone I can have a real connection with to share my newly exposed dominant traits. I am not going to be able to see her for almost 3 weeks, it might be a good oppurtunity for me to think about what I am doing and decide if it's worth it. I didn't seek her, she found me. It is wrong and I know it, but it's my problem and my struggle. I still welcome comments both good and bad. Like some of you, I'm not sure staying in a bad marriage is good for the kids. But ending it by finding out she is cheating sure won't be a good outcome. I really don't want to talk to her about all this, but it's starting to sink in, that is exactly what I need to do. If I let her know that I don't feel good about what we are doing, I'm pretty sure she will realize she doesn't feel right about what she is doing either. I would like ideas to turn her thoughts to her husband. If I just dump her, she will just find someone else. I know this isn't really my problem, but I got myself involved and I always like to try and fix things. I'm thinking of starting by asking her if she has shared her BDSM fantasies with her husband. It's the excitement of the BDSM games she likes, not me... Sir Hammy I don't think asking her about her bdsm fantasies, shared or otherwise matters a great deal. Nor does her decision to stay in a bad marriage. This has Jerry written all over it now. agirl

LadyPact -> RE: Playing with Sub when your away (9/5/2011 1:53:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 Really? This is the saddest thing you have ever seen in life? Wow. I am kind of sad over people losing their homes after the hurricane, friends who are out of work for over a year, people starving in the world, hearing about a friend of mine just diagnosed with breast cancer. Your world must be limited if some guy cheating with a married chick is the saddest thing ever. As for asking if this is the kind of shit that goes on in this lifestyle, it has nothing to do with the "the lifestyle". It goes on every day in the world, vanilla or kink. Must be a slow day on the boards.... As I always say, Red...... Being a Dominant, I know those things that I control, and those that I do not. There are absolutely situations out there that are bigger than Me. Natural disasters and such? Nope. No power there. For example, I do not control the wind. Yet, in My life, the choices that I make, I do have power. I don't have to stoop to those things that I find morally wrong. I have no need to associate with those that do.

Page: << < prev 3 4 5 [6] 7 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.0625