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RE: Dom Lateness - 8/31/2011 2:12:53 PM

zephyroftheNorth

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From: The Great Frozen North
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

Like comprehending the difference between a dominant and a submissive?!! While genius may have its limitations, I see stupidity is not thus far handicapped.

If you are referring to yourself here, as I just posted, we have no way of knowing. You don't have an active profile and your nic is anything but clear.

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(in reply to MasterSlaveLA)

Post #: 81

RE: Dom Lateness - 8/31/2011 2:14:55 PM

zephyroftheNorth

Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

That is just rich........I guess we are supposed to just KNOW that a profile of a person who's handle starts with Master, isn't.

I guess we are expected to be mind readers. Personally my mindreading skills are a little rusty.

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Post #: 82

RE: Dom Lateness - 8/31/2011 2:22:16 PM

MasterSlaveLA

Posts: 3991
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OH MAH GAAAAAAWD... WE DON'TS KNOWZ... WHAT ON EARTHS ARE WE GONNA DO?!! WHY, IT'S LIKE THE VERY MYSTERY OF THE UNIVERSE... OH LOWRDY LOWRDY... WHAT TO DO 'CAUSE WE DON'TS KNOWZ?!!

Hint: Ask (fucking GASP!!!)

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Post #: 83

RE: Dom Lateness - 8/31/2011 2:24:52 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

OH MAH GAAAAAAWD... WE DON'TS KNOWZ... WHAT ON EARTHS ARE WE GONNA DO?!! WHY, IT'S LIKE THE VERY MYSTERY OF THE UNIVERSE... OH LOWRDY LOWRDY... WHAT TO DO 'CAUSE WE DON'TS KNOWZ?!!

Hint: Ask (fucking GASP!!!)

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd now we are right back to the 'give a damn' factor. TADAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to MasterSlaveLA)

Post #: 84

RE: Dom Lateness - 8/31/2011 2:33:11 PM

zephyroftheNorth

Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

OH MAH GAAAAAAWD... WE DON'TS KNOWZ... WHAT ON EARTHS ARE WE GONNA DO?!! WHY, IT'S LIKE THE VERY MYSTERY OF THE UNIVERSE... OH LOWRDY LOWRDY... WHAT TO DO 'CAUSE WE DON'TS KNOWZ?!!

Hint: Ask (fucking GASP!!!)

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd now we are right back to the 'give a damn' factor. TADAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Personally that would be not so much, how about you LaT?

_____________________________

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Post #: 85

RE: Dom Lateness - 8/31/2011 2:33:46 PM

Kaliko

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Joined: 9/25/2010
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FR ~ For the record, MasterSlave, I always thought "Male Dominant" when it came to you, as well...due, I'm sure, to your profile name and avatar. (And I'm pretty sure all my brain cells are functioning.)

So, if that is incorrect, I would be curious to know. So, I suppose, I give a damn and I'm asking.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 86

RE: Dom Lateness - 8/31/2011 2:36:14 PM

tolovetolaugh

Posts: 648
Joined: 4/30/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

Who the hell stands around waiting for someone for several hours? I would have been long gone.

For my personal experience it was a 3 hour drive difference. I would not be waiting in anyone place, but would rather be waiting as in waiting for them to get to my town, they would be in contact off and on, and after several hours of waiting would be told they were not in fact able to come a few times, making me start to be skeptical as to which times they would show once they started running late.

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That which yields, is not always weak. —
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(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)

Post #: 87

RE: Dom Lateness - 8/31/2011 2:36:38 PM

gorgeoushair

Posts: 114
Joined: 4/30/2011
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@MasterSlave --

Amen to much of what you say...time will tell as to whether this Dom has the desire and motivation to alter his conduct as he says he will...Thanks for Your response...

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 88

RE: Dom Lateness - 8/31/2011 3:02:28 PM

zephyroftheNorth

Posts: 8159
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From: The Great Frozen North
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quote:

ORIGINAL: tolovetolaugh

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

Who the hell stands around waiting for someone for several hours? I would have been long gone.

For my personal experience it was a 3 hour drive difference. I would not be waiting in anyone place, but would rather be waiting as in waiting for them to get to my town, they would be in contact off and on, and after several hours of waiting would be told they were not in fact able to come a few times, making me start to be skeptical as to which times they would show once they started running late.

I STILL wouldn't be waiting, I would be occupying my time.

_____________________________

And there's a smile when the pain comes
The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

Team Troll Trollop
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Member: Subbie Mafia
Member: Hibbie's Hotties

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Post #: 89

RE: Dom Lateness - 8/31/2011 3:15:28 PM

tolovetolaugh

Posts: 648
Joined: 4/30/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

quote:

ORIGINAL: tolovetolaugh

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

Who the hell stands around waiting for someone for several hours? I would have been long gone.

For my personal experience it was a 3 hour drive difference. I would not be waiting in anyone place, but would rather be waiting as in waiting for them to get to my town, they would be in contact off and on, and after several hours of waiting would be told they were not in fact able to come a few times, making me start to be skeptical as to which times they would show once they started running late.

I STILL wouldn't be waiting, I would be occupying my time.

*sigh*
Waiting can be a purely mental concept.
You can be active and occupied and still be "waiting" for something.

_____________________________

That which yields, is not always weak. —
Jacqueline Carey (Kushiel's Dart)

I wrote a porn!
http://www.collarchat.com/m_3840531

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)

Post #: 90

RE: Dom Lateness - 8/31/2011 4:10:54 PM

Endivius

Posts: 1238
Joined: 8/22/2011
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(in reply to tolovetolaugh)

Post #: 91

RE: Dom Lateness - 8/31/2011 4:44:38 PM

DomImus

Posts: 2004
Joined: 3/17/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: gorgeoushair
So, i started this "training" relationship with a Dom i met here. He is otherwise a good Dom, but He is pretty consistently late. He has also not called me until the last second to cancel at least two meetings over the last three months. As a sub, and, as a human being with a life, i believe that i am entitled to normal consideration of my time and my life. i thought Doms were supposed to be in complete control of themselves (and be adults).
Comments?

Two thoughts. First, if a dominant is expected to be in complete control then it seems reasonable for a submissive to consent to complete submission. I won't waste my time with that discussion here. Secondly, he is very rude and inconsiderate if he acts in this manner - dom or sub.

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(in reply to gorgeoushair)

Post #: 92

RE: Dom Lateness - 8/31/2011 10:16:23 PM

coookie

Posts: 541
Joined: 10/25/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: gorgeoushair

.time will tell as to whether this Dom has the desire and motivation to alter his conduct as he says he will..

i personally find your behaviour modification plan with this dominant to be quite funny. You sound like an old schoolmarm who will not tolerate the young boys spitting wads in your classroom any longer. He is how old and i suspect has been like this for how long? I am someone who was habitually late and it took years for me to train myself to not be late .. literally ten years and that was because I didn't like the behaviour not because someone else didnt like it and it was a long process with a lot of screw ups along the way. You need to lighten up a bit on your expectations if you are going to be with him IMO

(in reply to gorgeoushair)

Post #: 93

RE: Dom Lateness - 8/31/2011 10:28:40 PM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko

FR ~ For the record, MasterSlave, I always thought "Male Dominant" when it came to you, as well...due, I'm sure, to your profile name and avatar. (And I'm pretty sure all my brain cells are functioning.)

So, if that is incorrect, I would be curious to know. So, I suppose, I give a damn and I'm asking.

Ha ha... I always thought the opposite! Wonder what it says about how we draw conclusions and about preconceptions of who is what....

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Post #: 94

RE: Dom Lateness - 8/31/2011 10:39:55 PM

Iamsemisweet

Posts: 3651
Joined: 4/9/2011
From: The Great Northwest, USA
Status: offline

Obviously it is important to the OP. If he doesn't change and she can't live with it, they will end the relationship. Why is discussion and compromise "behavior modification"?
I get it, you are always late. So you probably can only be in a relationship with someone who doesn't care. OP obviously does, and if he wants her, he will change. If he doesn't, he won't. Haven't you ever tried to influence your loved ones's life in a positive way?

quote:

ORIGINAL: coookie

quote:

ORIGINAL: gorgeous hair]

i personally find your behaviour modification plan with this dominant to be quite funny. You sound like an old schoolmarm who will not tolerate the young boys spitting wads in your classroom any longer. He is how old and i suspect has been like this for how long? I am someone who was habitually late and it took years for me to train myself to not be late .. literally ten years and that was because I didn't like the behaviour not because someone else didnt like it and it was a long process with a lot of screw ups along the way. You need to lighten up a bit on your expectations if you are going to be with him IMO

_____________________________

Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.
The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
Alice: How do you know I'm mad?
The Cat: You must be. Or you wouldn't have come here.

(in reply to coookie)

Post #: 95

RE: Dom Lateness - 8/31/2011 11:13:44 PM

gorgeoushair

Posts: 114
Joined: 4/30/2011
Status: offline

@ Iamsemisweet -

Thanks for your response. I, too, do not think this is "behavior modification" as it is commonly understood. If i do not let Him know that His habitual lateness and last-minute cancellations have become deal-breaker problems for me, and i value the rest of the relationship, how else is He to know that He can influence the end of the relationship? Apparently, He is interested enough in the relationship so that He is willing to alter His conduct. i feel that the relationship is worth a period of risk on my part, and i can deal with the potential of a loss if there is no change (although i would be sad). As i have said a few times in the thread, only time will tell as to how things will actually turn out on this particular issue ... a risk i am willing to take ...

< Message edited by gorgeoushair -- 8/31/2011 11:22:23 PM >

(in reply to Iamsemisweet)

Post #: 96

RE: Dom Lateness - 9/1/2011 3:27:27 AM

zephyroftheNorth

Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko

FR ~ For the record, MasterSlave, I always thought "Male Dominant" when it came to you, as well...due, I'm sure, to your profile name and avatar. (And I'm pretty sure all my brain cells are functioning.)

So, if that is incorrect, I would be curious to know. So, I suppose, I give a damn and I'm asking.

Ha ha... I always thought the opposite! Wonder what it says about how we draw conclusions and about preconceptions of who is what....

the nic and a lack of active profile did help us draw those conclusions, Sunny.

_____________________________

And there's a smile when the pain comes
The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

Team Troll Trollop
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Member: Hibbie's Hotties

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 97

RE: Dom Lateness - 9/1/2011 3:29:31 AM

zephyroftheNorth

Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline

quote:

*sigh*
Waiting can be a purely mental concept.
You can be active and occupied and still be "waiting" for something.

Yeah but initially all you wrote was "waiting around for hours" you wrote nothing about waiting for him to come to town or doing other stuff while waiting. See how lack of info leads to conclusions?

_____________________________

And there's a smile when the pain comes
The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

Team Troll Trollop
Member: Cocksuckers For World Peace
Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags
Member: Subbie Mafia
Member: Hibbie's Hotties

(in reply to tolovetolaugh)

Post #: 98

RE: Dom Lateness - 9/1/2011 6:11:16 AM

coookie

Posts: 541
Joined: 10/25/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet

Obviously it is important to the OP. If he doesn't change and she can't live with it, they will end the relationship. Why is discussion and compromise "behavior modification"?
I get it, you are always late. So you probably can only be in a relationship with someone who doesn't care. OP obviously does, and if he wants her, he will change. If he doesn't, he won't. Haven't you ever tried to influence your loved ones's life in a positive way?

Yep i sure have tried to influence my loved ones before but i have never gone with the whole "you must change XYZ or i will leave". She discussed and he had said i will leave it up to you if you want to continue. It sounds like to me that she badgered him further and guilted him making him feel badly for his "conduct". Hence she is trying to change his behaviour with whinging and that usually works.

Oh and as an aside, as i already explained, I took care of my tardiness issue because I wanted to. I didn't like being late. Not because someone made me feel poorly but because I did not like always feeling rushed. I am never late anymore though it took a lot of work on my part and IF the OP's fella is going to work on it i am telling her to expect failures because it is difficult to change behaviour.

(in reply to Iamsemisweet)

Post #: 99

RE: Dom Lateness - 9/1/2011 6:13:22 AM

coookie

Posts: 541
Joined: 10/25/2010
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Oh i thought you were a male as well.

(in reply to MasterSlaveLA)

Post #: 100

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