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How to meet dirty lasses on 'tinterwebnet - 9/1/2011 1:50:19 PM   
britcrucio


Posts: 17
Joined: 11/27/2008
Status: offline
Now - many folk sit in their Y-fronts in front of their computers boring the world with stories of how they can't meet lasses and when they send 'em a message they get nowt back or at best a simple bugger off.

I dipped me toe in and out of the scene for a few years now and i've nowt but good times, so tha thought it best to share some of me experiences with mucky lasses.
One thing that thee can be pretty sure of on this site that the lasses are as filthy as poo. or they are weird blokes - pretending to be lasses playing with their little man tails because they don't have any social skills. Or they are just a bit odd.

Nowt wrong with odd though....again, summat we all have in common. And I suppose it’s subjective.

Now the first rule, when you’re trying to talk to lasses, it’s pretty simple; Don’t be a cock. You wouldn’t go up to a lass in’t pub and say “suck me plumbs ya daft numpty”. You might, but I’m guessing you success rate is smaller than an umpa lumpas todger. This can be summed up with the acronym DBAC “Don’t be a cock”

Second rule is have summat to say. If you send the same shit to 300 lasses you not gonna impress them, I would liken this to standing outside the Ladies...or the ladies Bathroom for our American friends....and saying “hi, do you come here often”.....

Don’t send em a picture of your cock. It’s not big and it’s not clever. You wouldn’t turn up on a first date with a bow round your chopper, a bunch of roses and a daft grin on ya face.

Txt spk mks u luk like a cnt.

So if ya get chatting to a lass, there’s no need to talk about thee genitals, as proud of them as you are, it’s nice to get to know someone before you meet. Then when you do, it’ll be a much better experience for all involved.

Don’t send ‘em a picture from 10 years ago and not expect to be a little surprised by your middle aged spread.

Don’t wear a wig or have a comb-over. It’s just a good rule to have in life.

Safety first, safety second.

Just a few tips to help those in need of a bit of help.


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RE: How to meet dirty lasses on 'tinterwebnet - 9/1/2011 2:05:32 PM   
Ninebelowzero


Posts: 3134
Joined: 8/5/2011
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never realised that the 3 Yorkshiremen were allowed on t'web. Bloody luxury.
Now back in my day we 'ad to do wi a stuffed carrier pidgeon. It were stuffed cos we ate it's insides fer t' Sunday lunch we were that t'poor.

(in reply to britcrucio)
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RE: How to meet dirty lasses on 'tinterwebnet - 9/1/2011 3:21:47 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
WOW great advice U R a Genius ... I cant wait to get on the web and use your pointers

BadOne

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RE: How to meet dirty lasses on 'tinterwebnet - 9/1/2011 4:01:31 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline


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RE: How to meet dirty lasses on 'tinterwebnet - 9/1/2011 4:15:49 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
Sunny
Quote of the Day
goes to
britcrucio
for
an entire duplication-worthy post:

Now - many folk sit in their Y-fronts in front of their computers boring the world with stories of how they can't meet lasses and when they send 'em a message they get nowt back or at best a simple bugger off.

I dipped me toe in and out of the scene for a few years now and i've nowt but good times, so tha thought it best to share some of me experiences with mucky lasses.
One thing that thee can be pretty sure of on this site that the lasses are as filthy as poo. or they are weird blokes - pretending to be lasses playing with their little man tails because they don't have any social skills. Or they are just a bit odd.

Nowt wrong with odd though....again, summat we all have in common. And I suppose it’s subjective.

Now the first rule, when you’re trying to talk to lasses, it’s pretty simple; Don’t be a cock. You wouldn’t go up to a lass in’t pub and say “suck me plumbs ya daft numpty”. You might, but I’m guessing you success rate is smaller than an umpa lumpas todger. This can be summed up with the acronym DBAC “Don’t be a cock”

Second rule is have summat to say. If you send the same shit to 300 lasses you not gonna impress them, I would liken this to standing outside the Ladies...or the ladies Bathroom for our American friends....and saying “hi, do you come here often”.....

Don’t send em a picture of your cock. It’s not big and it’s not clever. You wouldn’t turn up on a first date with a bow round your chopper, a bunch of roses and a daft grin on ya face.

Txt spk mks u luk like a cnt.

So if ya get chatting to a lass, there’s no need to talk about thee genitals, as proud of them as you are, it’s nice to get to know someone before you meet. Then when you do, it’ll be a much better experience for all involved.

Don’t send ‘em a picture from 10 years ago and not expect to be a little surprised by your middle aged spread.

Don’t wear a wig or have a comb-over. It’s just a good rule to have in life.

Safety first, safety second.

Just a few tips to help those in need of a bit of help.




http://www.collarchat.com/m_3830649/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#3830783




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RE: How to meet dirty lasses on 'tinterwebnet - 9/1/2011 4:18:30 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
Enchanting.

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RE: How to meet dirty lasses on 'tinterwebnet - 9/1/2011 4:22:41 PM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
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I'm not really sure what you said, but I had so much fun reading it!

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RE: How to meet dirty lasses on 'tinterwebnet - 9/1/2011 4:28:34 PM   
ControlImYours


Posts: 22
Joined: 6/5/2011
Status: offline
well arrr looked an't tin tin tin so arr narr neh w't'is ooer w't'look

b' tha knos ee be'(t) n Kaliko thee's a reet pair is tha in 'o'wha'(t)?

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RE: How to meet dirty lasses on 'tinterwebnet - 9/1/2011 4:37:41 PM   
SoulAlloy


Posts: 2106
Joined: 8/23/2009
From: Preston, UK
Status: offline
A great post full of truth :-D

If you're ever Preston way, Lancashire, but I'm sure you won't mind a different colour rose, feel free to drop in for a pint and chat!

Especially agree with this bit lol

quote:

Txt spk mks u luk like a cnt.




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RE: How to meet dirty lasses on 'tinterwebnet - 9/1/2011 4:52:43 PM   
tiggerspoohbear


Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline
Crucio,  that was just priceless.  Thanks for the giggle.  Now if the guys who don't come to this side would see that maybe we poor mucky lasses would see a better caliber of message.  For now, meh, block and delete is mah friend.


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RE: How to meet dirty lasses on 'tinterwebnet - 9/1/2011 4:59:40 PM   
hardcybermaster


Posts: 904
Joined: 10/6/2008
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most amusing old chap
Absolutely spiffing

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RE: How to meet dirty lasses on 'tinterwebnet - 9/1/2011 6:34:36 PM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: britcrucio
I dipped me toe in and out of the scene for a few years now and i've nowt but good times, so tha thought it best to share some of me experiences with mucky lasses.


You had me at mucky lass.

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RE: How to meet dirty lasses on 'tinterwebnet - 9/1/2011 11:26:09 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
I saw the name 'britcrucio' come up on the page and I was, like, 'yay!'

No idea who you are, but your posts make me giggle.

:D

(New users will want to have a flick through britcrucio's posting history. Do eet. DO EET NOW AND LAUGH LIKE A WILD THING.)

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RE: How to meet dirty lasses on 'tinterwebnet - 9/1/2011 11:44:04 PM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: britcrucio

“suck me plumbs ya daft numpty”.


Love it




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RE: How to meet dirty lasses on 'tinterwebnet - 9/2/2011 4:10:32 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline
I love the word "numpty". It's what I call the kids in class when they're being a bit daft. Always makes me smile.

It's cool that we have a funny Brit lad on teh site - even if it is a southerner...*cough*

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RE: How to meet dirty lasses on 'tinterwebnet - 9/2/2011 4:24:09 AM   
0ldhen


Posts: 2221
Joined: 12/27/2010
From: Henhouse in Trolltopia, Harleyville USA
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Priceless!!!!!!

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RE: How to meet dirty lasses on 'tinterwebnet - 9/2/2011 4:24:19 AM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
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He made me feel homesick...bless his cottons

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RE: How to meet dirty lasses on 'tinterwebnet - 9/2/2011 4:53:40 AM   
sheisreeds


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I want to know where tinterweb comes from.

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RE: How to meet dirty lasses on 'tinterwebnet - 9/2/2011 4:58:16 AM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
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"the internet", becomes the contraction of t'internet in the mouths of northerners in the UK
The other, becomes t'other, etc etc etc
*mourns for a northerner or two to talk to*

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<) )╯SUCH
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\(•_•)
( (> A NASTY
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(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
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Dont Hate Love

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RE: How to meet dirty lasses on 'tinterwebnet - 9/2/2011 5:02:59 AM   
sheisreeds


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aha! Learn something new everyday.

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give me something to believe in



You need a spankin' baby!

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