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How does one go about finding a Dominant? - 9/8/2011 12:30:43 AM   
PurpleKeys


Posts: 2
Joined: 9/7/2011
Status: offline 		I that seems like a dumb question but I am trying to find someone and I keep coming across guys that are only looking to beat women, take advatage of them, and abuse them.  Where does one go to find a real dom male?  Also, I simply cannot call a 21 a master, that is a joke.
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RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? - 9/8/2011 1:02:50 AM   
Awareness


Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
Status: offline 		Emigrate to New Zealand.

Seriously though, I know a local sub who has this very problem.  The place is overrun with dysfunctional pseudo-Doms who either want to beat a woman, humiliate her or turn her into a domestic servant who plays mommy to them.

The best advice I can give you is to screen.  Screen for strength, screen for a spine, screen for a calm, centered personality with ethics and integrity.  You're probably going to do fairly well if you ignore kink sites and just look for responsible dominant man in the normal online or offline world.

< Message edited by Awareness -- 9/8/2011 1:03:40 AM >

_____________________________

Ever notice how fucking annoying most signatures are? - Yes, I do appreciate the irony.

(in reply to PurpleKeys)
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RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? - 9/8/2011 1:32:44 AM   
M4S73R


Posts: 232
Joined: 9/5/2011
Status: offline 		Forums. Look at how people talk on a regular basis. That will give some (and i say that loosely) insight. And on the flip side of that, i have run into a lot of women that come across as pesdo slaves. They only talk about sex as a means to find people. If a women sends me a message outlining to me what she wants to do im immediately turned off. I want a brain first. Was taught to start at the top and work my way down. Brain, eyes, lips, neck, shoulders, tits, stomach ass pussy legs feet.

People are people, no matter where you go. Not sure immigrating is the answer

(in reply to Awareness)
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RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? - 9/8/2011 1:48:06 AM   
HeatherMcLeather


Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline
quote:

Not sure immigrating is the answer
He considers himself pretty much the only truly dominant man on the site.

(in reply to M4S73R)
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RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? - 9/8/2011 1:49:51 AM   
M4S73R


Posts: 232
Joined: 9/5/2011
Status: offline 		I guess my question for anyone that "claims" to be a Dom is, How long were you a sub?


(in reply to HeatherMcLeather)
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RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? - 9/8/2011 1:50:07 AM   
Awareness


Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
Status: offline 		  Yet more evidence that Canadians are the humourless fuckers on the continent.

_____________________________

Ever notice how fucking annoying most signatures are? - Yes, I do appreciate the irony.

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RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? - 9/8/2011 2:03:25 AM   
Endivius


Posts: 1238
Joined: 8/22/2011
Status: offline 		It's a process. The problem you are faced with, is that you want a dominant man, and about 99% of the men here that claim to be dominant, are just desperate horny loners who have no clue what it means to live this lifestyle. You just have to be patient and keep screening. There are plenty of people who have met through CM, but don't let this be your only fishing line. Spread out to other sites, get out into your local community and meet people. Participating in chat when you can, keep perusing the forums, and just remember quality over quantity. I will say that being TG does narrow your search area, but that does not mean that it cannot be done.

_____________________________

Basically if you can't inspire someone to trust you deeply, you aren't going to be able to buy that or a reasonable facsimile thereof. -DesFIP

(in reply to PurpleKeys)
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RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? - 9/8/2011 2:33:23 AM   
DeviantlyD


Posts: 4375
Joined: 5/26/2007
From: Hawai`i
Status: offline 		You go to "Dominants R Us"! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Sorry. I couldn't resist. I know it's not original, but...sometimes one just has to indulge themselves. :D

Seriously though, I wouldn't look online. If you want to find a dominant, try checking out your local munch(es).

When I'm perving profiles, I find far too many "daddy doms" (not my thing, but your profile says it's yours)...maybe they all migrated to Hawai`i. ;)

_____________________________

ExiledTyrant's groupie. Catering to his ego since May 26, 2007. :D

(in reply to Endivius)
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RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? - 9/8/2011 4:07:19 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		What DeviantlyD said - go forth and meet real people at real events. San Antonio's gotta have a vibrant kink community.

Also, since you're bi - have you considered being the third in a poly relationship.  There are LOTS of MF couples looking for a third.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to DeviantlyD)
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RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? - 9/8/2011 6:59:57 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		Be specific about what and who you're looking for. Not just D/s but who he is as a person. Don't settle for less and be patient.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? - 9/8/2011 8:30:59 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		once again for the millionth time, the same way you meet anyone in real life that you want to date or fuck.
Bdsm is absolutely no different whatsoever.



_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? - 9/8/2011 10:11:36 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		If you keep meeting and or dating idiots, perhaps you need to look at yourself and the choices you make that create that problem.

Plenty of women meet one pretty decent guy after another, others only tend to meet idiots. Its the choices each make that create the difference. Its like women who only meet men in bars and then complain they only meet players.

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? - 9/8/2011 10:44:04 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		Do screen, use common, sense, trust your gut, to to munches, network.

Last year I met some great play partners on the personals side of this site but my Dom found me on OKCupid :)

Lots of the tests and questions on OKC are kink related, so that's one way to screen or send signals. These lines in my OKC profile helped my D find me and helped cut down on the mail from 20 somethings:

If you are dominant and know what SSC and RACK mean, drop me a line.

18-35 year olds looking for kink will have more luck here: http://www.boston-tng.org/

(in reply to PurpleKeys)
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RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? - 9/8/2011 11:29:26 AM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline 		Google San antonio Munch group. Get thee to a munch and meet real people.

_____________________________

Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

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RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? - 9/8/2011 5:35:40 PM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		Start meeting some folks in person, watch them with others... get references from folks, face to face...

http://www.darkheart.com/usalist.html#Texas

http://www.evilmonk.org/A/tx_sa.cfm

Evil Monk's listings in general seem more up to date...

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to PurpleKeys)
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RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? - 9/8/2011 7:20:36 PM   
Buzzzz


Posts: 839
Joined: 11/28/2010
Status: offline
quote:

Be specific about what and who you're looking for. Not just D/s but who he is as a person. Don't settle for less and be patient.

Ditto

_____________________________

_"Here is something you should never do to anyone.And here is exactly how to do it to someone you care about". Flagg._



(in reply to Madame4a)
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RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? - 9/9/2011 4:36:54 AM   
Mr4sg


Posts: 99
Joined: 9/2/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PurpleKeys

I that seems like a dumb question but I am trying to find someone and I keep coming across guys that are only looking to beat women, take advatage of them, and abuse them.  Where does one go to find a real dom male? 


Sheer luck.
You can increase your chances but you can't enforce results.

Hanging out with explicit bdsm people might help. Then again, it might not. If you want a Dom that is more into private play and not into group gatherings, your chances of finding what you are looking for at a group meet are basically zero.

You can increase chances by exposing what exactly you are looking for and what you offer in return. Frankly, profiles where a girl offers "submission" as her only contribution to a potential connect, I don't even bother contacting.

*edit to fix typo*

< Message edited by Mr4sg -- 9/9/2011 4:37:38 AM >

_____________________________

Don't argue with idiots. It lowers you to their level where they beat you with experience.

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RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? - 9/9/2011 5:07:28 AM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		Ello,

Not much to add really except to say that getting out and about to munches/events etc is definitely a good idea.

I've looked at your profile and I think it's not bad at all - Perhaps a little more detail about the everyday "you"?

The real thing is time and patience. Since you're super cute you'll get lots of attention, so the screening will be more of a chore, but don't give up.

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to PurpleKeys)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? - 9/9/2011 7:04:57 AM   
MRRoy2


Posts: 11
Joined: 11/18/2010
Status: offline 		Having looked at your profile I agree you will have your work cut out for you. There will be lots of people claim to be dominant when in fact they are not. Look around ,dont be in a hurry and go to your local munches and such. Get involved .Or you could come to Florida to visit. :)

_____________________________

Live life to the fullest. You only have one.

(in reply to PurpleKeys)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? - 9/9/2011 2:52:40 PM   
deOwner


Posts: 7
Joined: 9/9/2011
Status: offline 		Meet people (anywhere) and talk to them. You'll quickly get enough vibes to know whether they are dominant, submissive, etc. Then if their vibes touch you the right way, get to know their background. If they've experience as a Dom, you'll quickly discover it.

It is less important that they are a Dom, then they be dominant and touch your needs. There are many that claim to be Dom, there are even a few of those that are capable of being what they claim. But the real goal is not to meet a Dom, but to meet the One who will claim your soul.

(in reply to MRRoy2)
Profile   Post #: 20
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