sheisreeds
Posts: 578
Joined: 7/8/2008 Status: offline
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>My question to those that are heavily into sadism is how they found out that they had that "mean streak" in them. >Was it a process of desensitizing yourself steadily/unknowingly? Not really, I grew up dealing with a lot, and certainly was really good at being mean and hard on myself. I was always one to stand my ground, and fight (sometimes physically). >An event that happened with a partner that really opened their eyes? I always identified as a switch, though mostly in practice was a masochist. Even early on in my purely switchy relationships it was more about the struggle then my partners suffering. The change really came when I started seeking out control and started becoming more aggressive with the vanillas. I started to recognize my tendencies ran pretty deep, and started solely seeking out kinky partners. My current partner was really when I started to let my inner sadist out of the cage, and the first time we got physical was eye opening to both on us on a ton of levels. Not only did it feel good to be able to be mean, I didn't realize how much I would enjoy is reactions. It was then that my Sadistic tendencies began to equal my Masochistic ones. Within months I began to enjoy scenes where I was only a sadist (most of mine are a back and forth). > While I have your attention, as a sadist, do you find yourself being much more confrontational to other people in general? Maybe you "stir the pot" intentionally? Totally, I am all about trouble. At work I am known for being able to cut down more experienced professionals in long strings of five syllable words. My job is pretty confrontational and involves a lot of chaos. Outside of work I've always been a prankster. Kink and work keep me out of heaps of trouble. A major goal of mine was to live a life of "organized chaos", and I've got that down. > By that same token, is your sadism strictly sexual gratification? Not at all. It certainly is arousing to me, though is easily it's own reward. I get off equally on witnessing what I've made. > What is it about inflicting cruelty on others (be it physical/mental) that appeals most as best you can describe? Mmmmm, it's all about power and control. I like feeling life in my hands, I like suffering, there is such a transfer that comes from it. It's a wonderful loop of my energy going into them, and then coming right back into me in the beautiful form of writhing and screams. Being a sadomasochist I love both ends of this exchange, and being in an endless back and forth with it. > In psychiatry, sadism is defined by causing pain/degradation to others while getting a sexual charge from it. Is this simply just a blurred out version of abuse? Not at all, non-consent turns me off. What I love is that it is a mutually enjoyable experience. It is a sharing of something really scared. What I love about it is that it is freely given. Abuse is taking from someone. > Are partners that indulge in your sadistic tendencies more prone to possessing psychological conditions such as the "battered spouse syndrome?" Interesting question! I have a history of severe depression and PTSD, and my partner has a comparable history. However, we heal through kink, versus allow ourselves to be re-traumatized or fall into behavior patterns that mimic our histories. Our histories may have made us more aware of our tendencies, though I'm fairly certain I was kinky from the start, as is my partner. > Are there certain activities that as a sadist, you cannot see yourself doing even if requested? Um, breath play to the point of losing consciousness. I'm not into anything that will permanently stretch or disfigure (except for scars, love those). I don't like cutting deep, or really doing anything that is going to have a massive recovery time or potentially have serious complications. I won't puncture or cut without something designed for that purpose. So all blood play, needle play is done with medical grade supplies. I won't do anything "edgy" that I don't know well. Anytime I am doing something new I read up, go slow, and take my time. > What are some of the more "basic" and I suppose, "safe" sadistic activities you see yourself doing or are widely practiced? This can range from physical play to even mental if you wish. Anything becomes basic and relatively safe with practice, anything without practice can be relatively dangerous. My hands are my favorite weapons, and I guess are the safest, though frequently are the cause of the most damage. I sleep with knives next to my pillow, and my fire play stuff is almost always out in the living room. But those tools with time have become extensions of my body. Mindfucks are some of the most dangerous forms of play, and can be the most scarring. All this shit is relative, it depends on the practitioner and how they go about learning what they do, and doing what they do. > The one last question I have (and if anybody reads this with their own curiosities feel free to chime in) is if you could give a single piece of advice to an aspiring beginner in sadism, what would you say? Anything becomes basic and relatively safe with practice, anything without practice can be relatively dangerous. All this shit is relative, it depends on the practitioner and how they go about learning what they do, and doing what they do. Take your time, be smart about it, talk to everyone you can. Never be sadistic out of anger, always out of love. Always make sure partners are on the same page as you, in regards to everything.
< Message edited by sheisreeds -- 9/19/2011 6:05:15 PM >
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~ s. Oh my darling, give me reason give me something to believe in You need a spankin' baby!
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