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Emotional Sadism - 9/10/2011 4:18:56 PM   
lovemymarks


Posts: 18
Joined: 8/23/2011
Status: offline 		Can an experienced sadist Master expand on the emotional aspect of sadism? In particular, how does hot and cold behavior and unexpected periodic abandonments by a Master accomplish further spiral into slavery? Is it common practice among sadistic Masters with their slaves?
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RE: Emotional Sadism - 9/10/2011 4:25:44 PM   
Awareness


Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
Status: offline 		  It's a technique for evoking love, although one I find somewhat unethical.  Ultimately you must make your own judgment call on this.


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RE: Emotional Sadism - 9/10/2011 4:31:40 PM   
lovemymarks


Posts: 18
Joined: 8/23/2011
Status: offline 		@Awareness Ah, so there is such a thing after all! What is the expected slave behavior at that point, to beg? My automatic response would be to tell him that I feel he wants me to move on, but it is such sporadic abandonment that it is difficult to comprehend.

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RE: Emotional Sadism - 9/10/2011 4:50:36 PM   
Mr4sg


Posts: 99
Joined: 9/2/2011
Status: offline 		Basically its about creating endorfins to make the person feel good. Then get them addicted on the good feeling. Withhold it to them, by absence or other means, and through their addiction people do strange things to get their "fix".

I really dig mindplay, but there is a thingy called ethics ..

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RE: Emotional Sadism - 9/10/2011 4:51:20 PM   
Awareness


Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
Status: offline 		  That's a complex question.  There are various possibilities:

The first, is that your master may not be an emotional sadist - he may, in fact, be an emotional child.  Hot and cold behaviour is often symptomatic of an immature or insecure personality.  In particular, those people with Borderline Personality Disorder behave this way all the time.

The second is that he may in fact be doing it to further bind you to him.  However, what you appear to be doing is trying to read his intent and reacting in the way which you think will please him, rather than simply accepting his behaviour at face value.  That can really throw a kink into his manipulations and it strongly suggests to me that you may be smarter and more perceptive than he is - which is a real problem.

On that basis, I'd question whether this is truly the right arrangement for you.  Given that you're a relatively new sub, I would suggest you proceed with caution.  Not every man who calls himself a Master or Dominant possesses the strength and self-mastery required to be one.


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RE: Emotional Sadism - 9/10/2011 5:09:52 PM   
Endivius


Posts: 1238
Joined: 8/22/2011
Status: offline 		It's petty, and messes with the bond you have. I expect the girls to be open in thier communications with me, a hot and cold mentality would only disrupt this bond. I would say your master is either inept or inexperienced if this is a common practice. Periodic abandonment is just another way of saying being ignored. No one wants that in a relationship.

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RE: Emotional Sadism - 9/10/2011 5:24:56 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		What does your "master" say he is doing and the reason behind it?

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RE: Emotional Sadism - 9/10/2011 5:35:15 PM   
lovemymarks


Posts: 18
Joined: 8/23/2011
Status: offline 		He appears very secure to the external world, and is a highly successful individual. However, who knows what goes on in his head.

He did bind slaves in his prior relationships, very successfully too, from my understanding. And I would like to please, but I have no idea what he wants me to do when there is no communication involved... lol

Thanks for the compliment about my brain capacity, but I am not feeling very smart at the moment. He reads people well, and I learn from my experiences and read people slightly better each time around.

< Message edited by lovemymarks -- 9/10/2011 5:42:13 PM >

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RE: Emotional Sadism - 9/10/2011 5:43:12 PM   
lovemymarks


Posts: 18
Joined: 8/23/2011
Status: offline 		Yes, that's exactly what has happened! He built me up, told me to be secure in the knowledge of being His, then disappeared. It wasn't the first time either. That explains volumes as to why his prior slaves did all sorts of crazy things to get him back, and he spoke fondly of that kind of behavior. Very interesting mind control techniques... They go above and beyond the school boy mind fucking I have dealt with in my past.


< Message edited by lovemymarks -- 9/10/2011 6:41:03 PM >

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RE: Emotional Sadism - 9/10/2011 5:50:26 PM   
lovemymarks


Posts: 18
Joined: 8/23/2011
Status: offline 		At the moment, he is not saying anything. I haven't heard from him for several weeks after daily communications. There were no clues in the last communication that I was about to be dumped; only that he was distracted with work. Yet he has not replied to several of my emails / texts lately. Nor did he reply to my suggestion that he may want to dismiss me in my last email. Plus, the abandonment happened once before. Then he came back for me.

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RE: Emotional Sadism - 9/10/2011 5:50:40 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		I do not consider that healthy behavior.  A period of ignoring is suitable for a punishment, but I couldn't do that on a regular basis just to fuck with my sub.  Part of it is that I'm not secure enough that if I did that, my sub would still be there for me when I came back.  Subs, and other women, have been known to wander when they don't feel they're getting enough attention.

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

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RE: Emotional Sadism - 9/10/2011 5:57:09 PM   
lovemymarks


Posts: 18
Joined: 8/23/2011
Status: offline 		He always appeared very secure in himself. And I would not be the only person to say that. That was one of the many things that attracted me to him. He paid attention well to everything I said in the past. Then based on what was said, he told me things about myself I had no idea about.

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RE: Emotional Sadism - 9/10/2011 6:00:49 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lovemymarks

At the moment, he is not saying anything. I haven't heard from him for several weeks after daily communications. There were no clues in the last communication that I was about to be dumped; only that he was distracted with work. Yet he has not replied to several of my emails / texts lately. Nor did he reply to my suggestion that he may want to dismiss me in my last email. Plus, the abandonment happened once before. Then he came back for me.


Can you go to his house, knock on his door, and demand some answers?

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Emotional Sadism - 9/10/2011 6:07:34 PM   
zephyroftheNorth


Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline
quote:

He built me up, told me to be secure in the knowledge of being His, then disappeared. It wasn't the first time either.


If it were me, I would be gone. Game playing doesn't work with me and I think that's what's going on here. My last vanilla BF tried the disappearing so I'd miss him trick, I told him to fuck off.

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The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

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RE: Emotional Sadism - 9/10/2011 6:09:02 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		If someone is 'mine' there is very little way I can disappear from them.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Emotional Sadism - 9/10/2011 6:14:01 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		What Tigresse said. Do you guys see each other IRL? Do you know where he lives and are welcome to his house? Can you call any time day or night?

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


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RE: Emotional Sadism - 9/10/2011 6:48:55 PM   
lovemymarks


Posts: 18
Joined: 8/23/2011
Status: offline 		Not sure what IRL means... (in relationship?)

He lives too far away for me to do that in my particular situation and constantly travels. Calling has not been a limit, but we prefer to text or email. I am not the one to keep calling when there is no response.

< Message edited by lovemymarks -- 9/10/2011 6:49:48 PM >

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RE: Emotional Sadism - 9/10/2011 6:51:43 PM   
lovemymarks


Posts: 18
Joined: 8/23/2011
Status: offline 		Too far away for me to travel in my situation, plus I do not demand from people. I try to be nice. :)

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RE: Emotional Sadism - 9/10/2011 6:52:14 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lovemymarks

Not sure what IRL means... (in relationship?)

He lives too far away for me to do that in my particular situation and constantly travels. Calling has not been a limit, but we prefer to text or email. I am not the one to keep calling when there is no response.


Okay, you are 43 years old. Old enough to know what you want in a relationship and what to do when you are not getting it.

It's actually quite simple. You are not likely to change him. What he is doing has been working for him and he is going to continue to do it.

Per your words, it isn't working for you.

You have two choices, either suck it up and deal or end the relationship and find someone that has the same relationship goals and ideals that you do.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to lovemymarks)
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RE: Emotional Sadism - 9/10/2011 7:25:10 PM   
tinker24810


Posts: 2
Joined: 1/21/2011
Status: offline 		He may be trying to weaken any further resolve you have to have you fully compliant with his actions...having successfully used it before...but....

Have you considered that he may be off playing with someone else during these periods?

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