RE: Watchout for the term "Single"

RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (Full Version)

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Lockit -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/15/2011 2:49:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer Hey Lockit, That wasn't how I read the OP's post. I read it not so much as advice but as a dry way of saying 'I've had this shitty experience with a man claiming to be single when he wasn't'. I think I might even write it the same style, in the OP's position. If I were to be advising anyone in such a post, it'd be myself. The title of this thread is... Watch out for the term Single. I see that as a warning of some sort. I am going on a take of many of her threads, for which at least this older bitch domina finds herself shaking her head and wondering how someone even older than I am, could be so ignorant to realities most have seen by age twenty.

zephyroftheNorth -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/15/2011 2:55:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer quote: ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth Not that I know of but I once met up with a guy who used inches when he should have used millimeters. Interesting - I met a woman once who used inches when she should have used yards. [;)] Dammit that sounded clearer in my head. Possibly because the sentence included the words "to describe the length of his cock"

PeonForHer -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/15/2011 2:55:21 PM)
Well, maybe the OP will enlighten us as to what she meant. Maybe I read her wrong. Ah, fond days, fond days: I remember a woman cheerfully announcing to me that she'd pursued my records all over the net, deeply suspicious that I was married. I understood that . . . but it still made me think, 'Whoa. I'm going to be careful of you.'. And I was right to be careful, as it turned out, and as you know.

PeonForHer -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/15/2011 2:56:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth Dammit that sounded clearer in my head. Possibly because the sentence included the words "to describe the length of his cock" Yep, I admit I hadn't quite honed that come-back to perfection. [;)]

zephyroftheNorth -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/15/2011 2:58:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer quote: ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth Dammit that sounded clearer in my head. Possibly because the sentence included the words "to describe the length of his cock" Yep, I admit I hadn't quite honed that come-back to perfection. [;)] At least I have the excuse that it was very early in the morning. What's yours?

PeonForHer -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/15/2011 3:01:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth At least I have the excuse that it was very early in the morning. What's yours? I don't need one. Everyone loves me even when I balls things up.

LadyPact -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/15/2011 3:01:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet Actually, no, I don't believe my friends would have responded in the same way that the people here have to this OP. In fact, I don't think if the OP had made the same comment to a group of strangers, but in person, that they would have responded the same way people here have. I don't think my friends would speak for "everybody else", either. But, then again, we aren't really friends here, are we? What most of us are is anonymous strangers, some of whom feel the need to vent their aggression on others (i.e. the P & R section). Maybe that is what the OP needs to learn. OP, some of us have been there. I was married for many years, so I was new to dating too. If it really offends you (it does me) and you don't want to waste time with people who are married (regardless of whether they consider themselves married or not), lots of courts have records available on line, and local newspapers often print who has filed for divorce or separation also. You can find this stuff out in advance, without too much effort. OK, I'll give you the bit about "everybody else". Let's go with a term like "common knowledge" instead. Something like the subject that some people lie about their marital status isn't a big secret. Even a person not involved in dating of some sort is exposed to it because the subject is all over tv, movies, music, books, and magazines. Considering all of that, I think it would be really tough to find a mature individual who doesn't know that some married people lie in order to cheat.

tj444 -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/15/2011 3:03:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit The title of this thread is... Watch out for the term Single. I see that as a warning of some sort. I am going on a take of many of her threads, for which at least this older bitch domina finds herself shaking her head and wondering how someone even older than I am, could be so ignorant to realities most have seen by age twenty. I dont know the OPs situation but there are people that are married for decades and then suddenly become single, in which case, its a very different world now and maybe people were a little more honest back then or they got married young and everyone else in their circle were single and you knew who was married and not. I sorta took the post as from someone that perhaps was new to dating online, especially. They say that older people is where HIV is growing, thats cuz they tend to be more trusting, naive, in denial, etc... bad for them all the way around, get with the program or get chewed up and spat out... I personally dont like to be told something that is obvious to me but the OP might have just wanted a shoulder to vent on a little... if that was the case, another wake up call.. jmo [sm=2cents.gif]

zephyroftheNorth -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/15/2011 3:04:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer quote: ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth At least I have the excuse that it was very early in the morning. What's yours? I don't need one. Everyone loves me even when I balls things up. Damn you and your perfect abs!

gungadin09 -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/15/2011 3:08:15 PM)
OP, thanks for the heads up. pam

zephyroftheNorth -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/15/2011 3:08:26 PM)
It's not as though married men lying about their marital status is brand new or indigenous to online tj. Someone would have to be living in solitary confinement to not know that.

PeonForHer -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/15/2011 3:10:36 PM)
Roughly my take, too. I'm younger than the OP, but I know I'm something of an innocent with women. I don't have the experience, in real time, of women who really are quite nasty. I've only come across that on the internet. I'm not bitter about that latter experience, but I have to keep reminding myself - and good female friends keep reminding me, too.

Lockit -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/15/2011 3:13:25 PM)
I don't believe for one moment that older people are ignorant to cheating spouses, AIDS or rubbers as they used to be called long ago. Four decades ago, rubbers were used to prevent diseases we knew about then and pregnancy. A few decades later, we knew of more diseases and thanks to Masters and Johnson and different people exploring sexuality, we learned a great deal unless we didn't wish to learn it or lived under a rock. There is no place for ignorance in any adult that is thinking wisely about their life. Ignorance in this form is something I see as denial. Many men of a certain age were used to going free or cover-less when there was less to worry about. They thought a vasectomy was enough. They wanted to ride that pony bareback and still wish to. Lots of ladies will allow that, turning from the truth that most know if they have a television, news paper or computer. I cannot say that a long term marriage is an excuse to not know what is going on in the world and if you have lived through the friggin 60's and onward... you ought to know a bit more than what is being exhibited on this thread and a few others.

Iamsemisweet -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/15/2011 3:16:34 PM)
Well, you might be surprised at some of the things that I consider common knowledge that other people just don't seem to know. It happens. I am an honest person myself, and yes, it still surprises me when people try to lie or cheat me. I think a newbie section that is heavily moderated would be a fine idea. Much better than asking a question that others consider silly and having them go all "mean girl" from junior high on your ass. quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact quote: ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet Actually, no, I don't believe my friends would have responded in the same way that the people here have to this OP. In fact, I don't think if the OP had made the same comment to a group of strangers, but in person, that they would have responded the same way people here have. I don't think my friends would speak for "everybody else", either. But, then again, we aren't really friends here, are we? What most of us are is anonymous strangers, some of whom feel the need to vent their aggression on others (i.e. the P & R section). Maybe that is what the OP needs to learn. OP, some of us have been there. I was married for many years, so I was new to dating too. If it really offends you (it does me) and you don't want to waste time with people who are married (regardless of whether they consider themselves married or not), lots of courts have records available on line, and local newspapers often print who has filed for divorce or separation also. You can find this stuff out in advance, without too much effort. OK, I'll give you the bit about "everybody else". Let's go with a term like "common knowledge" instead. Something like the subject that some people lie about their marital status isn't a big secret. Even a person not involved in dating of some sort is exposed to it because the subject is all over tv, movies, music, books, and magazines. Considering all of that, I think it would be really tough to find a mature individual who doesn't know that some married people lie in order to cheat.

tj444 -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/15/2011 3:22:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth It's not as though married men lying about their marital status is brand new or indigenous to online tj. Someone would have to be living in solitary confinement to not know that. well, someone that was a stay at home mom for a couple of decades, yeah, thats a form or solitary confinement... I guess i like to give most people the benefit of the doubt and not judge most too harshly.. its pretty easy to say something online and it not come across the way you meant it too, of course.. If someone doesnt like the OPs view then the post is small tatters in the scheme of life tho...

CeriseNin -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/15/2011 3:29:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tj444 quote: ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth It's not as though married men lying about their marital status is brand new or indigenous to online tj. Someone would have to be living in solitary confinement to not know that. well, someone that was a stay at home mom for a couple of decades, yeah, thats a form or solitary confinement... I guess i like to give most people the benefit of the doubt and not judge most too harshly.. its pretty easy to say something online and it not come across the way you meant it too, of course.. If someone doesnt like the OPs view then the post is small tatters in the scheme of life tho... And even they know that some spouses are cheaters and liars, even the soccer moms know this. Hell, plenty of them have lived through it, or gossiped about it over afternoon tea.

LadyPact -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/15/2011 3:30:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet Well, you might be surprised at some of the things that I consider common knowledge that other people just don't seem to know. It happens. I am an honest person myself, and yes, it still surprises me when people try to lie or cheat me. I think a newbie section that is heavily moderated would be a fine idea. Much better than asking a question that others consider silly and having them go all "mean girl" from junior high on your ass. I don't think it's "mean girl" stuff to tell folks that something is overly naive. It debunks the myth that BDSM is somehow more special or fairy tale than the vanilla world. Since you mentioned new folks, this definitely applies. Common sense shouldn't be chucked out of the window just because a person decides that they have an interest in kink. If anything, they might want to rely on that a bit more as they are learning the stuff that is new to them.

Iamsemisweet -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/15/2011 3:31:34 PM)
So why not just not respond to threads you find stupid or ignorant? That would actually take less effort on your part. quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit I don't believe for one moment that older people are ignorant to cheating spouses, AIDS or rubbers as they used to be called long ago. Four decades ago, rubbers were used to prevent diseases we knew about then and pregnancy. A few decades later, we knew of more diseases and thanks to Masters and Johnson and different people exploring sexuality, we learned a great deal unless we didn't wish to learn it or lived under a rock. There is no place for ignorance in any adult that is thinking wisely about their life. Ignorance in this form is something I see as denial. Many men of a certain age were used to going free or cover-less when there was less to worry about. They thought a vasectomy was enough. They wanted to ride that pony bareback and still wish to. Lots of ladies will allow that, turning from the truth that most know if they have a television, news paper or computer. I cannot say that a long term marriage is an excuse to not know what is going on in the world and if you have lived through the friggin 60's and onward... you ought to know a bit more than what is being exhibited on this thread and a few others.

Lockit -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/15/2011 3:39:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet So why not just not respond to threads you find stupid or ignorant? That would actually take less effort on your part. quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit I don't believe for one moment that older people are ignorant to cheating spouses, AIDS or rubbers as they used to be called long ago. Four decades ago, rubbers were used to prevent diseases we knew about then and pregnancy. A few decades later, we knew of more diseases and thanks to Masters and Johnson and different people exploring sexuality, we learned a great deal unless we didn't wish to learn it or lived under a rock. There is no place for ignorance in any adult that is thinking wisely about their life. Ignorance in this form is something I see as denial. Many men of a certain age were used to going free or cover-less when there was less to worry about. They thought a vasectomy was enough. They wanted to ride that pony bareback and still wish to. Lots of ladies will allow that, turning from the truth that most know if they have a television, news paper or computer. I cannot say that a long term marriage is an excuse to not know what is going on in the world and if you have lived through the friggin 60's and onward... you ought to know a bit more than what is being exhibited on this thread and a few others. I'm not sure which I wish to respond to first. Hummm... I am not trying to get through even a message board, effortlessly, as I don't find responding much of an effort. I respond less and less throughout the years, however, when I wish to respond I will. If you want to think I am a mean girl... you go right ahead, that is your personal right. However, I don't think that straight talk and truth are mean. I could say... honey... now listen, maybe you didn't know married or attached men act like they are single and have for decades, centuries even, but they do... now come here and get a little huggy pooh and feel better. My dear old auntie told me that if you give the milk away for free, they never buy the cow and Grandma told me in her seventies that men don't think past their belt line. We women need to be a bit smart when it comes to those bad guys. Would that be more acceptable? It wouldn't be in my world.. but then I may be a mean girl.

tj444 -> RE: Watchout for the term "Single" (9/15/2011 3:45:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CeriseNin And even they know that some spouses are cheaters and liars, even the soccer moms know this. Hell, plenty of them have lived through it, or gossiped about it over afternoon tea. well, imo, they gossip cuz they dont think it will happen to them, they think they are above that, that somehow they will be able to spot the cheaters when they are approached.. lots of people are in denial, they dont think having sex once will get them pregnant, they dont think sex once will give them hiv, they dont think their spouse will be the one to cheat, they dont think that someone will lie to them when they start dating again, and not just with that but also money matters too, they trust what their mortgage broker tells them about option arms, they believe the madoffs of the world (those were rich smart people that were scammed), they think they will win Publishers Clearing House and $1 million (thinking of my former MIL on that one),.. etc.. Whether the OPs experience is from being naive or in denial (that it could happen to them), well, imo the OP has company on that front (perhaps not too much on this board, however lol)..

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