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RE: Are You... "You?" - 9/15/2011 10:00:28 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NocturnalStalker

Are You... "You?"



Actually, I'm YOU... and at the moment, I'm rubbing sandpaper on OUR ass -- do you feel it?!!  Does it hurt yet, bitch?!!



_____________________________

It's only kinky the first time!!!

(in reply to NocturnalStalker)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Are You... "You?" - 9/15/2011 10:02:35 PM   
HeatherMcLeather


Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline 		No problem. I'm used to it by now. And I get no breaks from the ribbing around here. I am often called b-b-babe. 

(in reply to NocturnalStalker)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Are You... "You?" - 9/15/2011 10:46:16 PM   
Epytropos


Posts: 699
Joined: 7/23/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather

I am she as you are he as you are me and we are all together.


Damn you, now I have to go find that song again or it's going to be stuck in my head FOREVER. You are a terrible person


_____________________________

They're only words. Don't dwell on them. They never mean what you think.

I speak only of My Way. Think it not an indictment of Your Way.

(in reply to HeatherMcLeather)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Are You... "You?" - 9/16/2011 4:57:57 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I think that my ME, my personality, is very consistent. What shines most at any given moment depends on who is looking.

I was thinking about this the other day after some reading here, and some stuff I watched in my actual life. I see it more in person but can only use characters here as examples.

Based on our own filters we make judgements about people and call them first impressions. Because of our personal filters, they can be really wonderful judgements, really terrible, or as is most often the case....just meh. The bummer part of that is that for most of us, that first judgement colours everything about that person for quite a while.

Example, if you dislike a lot of cussing, have a negative reaction to cussing based upon your personal life experiences, someone that cusses a lot will cause you to have a strongly negative first judgement of that person and will maybe, even cause you to ignore or block out any wonderful characteristic or trait they may have. You will be looking only for characteristics that give creedence to your initial dislike.

Similarly with traits you find admirable. You will tend to ignore the negatives that others may see because it might undermine the first judgement call you made about that person.

So to get back to what I am really trying to say. If a person knows me from here, they MIGHT be disillusioned by seeing me doing something in person, that contradicts that judgement they've already made. If someone from work has dealt with me in a way that made me take a strong stand for the company I work for, as I get paid to do, they might find me confusing away from work.

OR, if a person has only ever seen me interact with my grands, like someone at the motocross track might have done, then assumed that I was a softy and that they could take advantage of that facet of my persona at work, they would be frustrated.

The very traits that will attract one type of person, the sort of thing a submissive person is really looking for in a person, they will see first. Another person that isn't interested in that, might be looking for the qualities of a good friend and their radar will be tuned into that frequency instead. Ignoring the very qualities that the submissive person is looking for.

I think I am always the same ME. What the people around me actually SEE is often based upon their stuff, not mine.

I hope I've made some sort of sense........brain fog due to morning and cold meds.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Are You... "You?" - 9/16/2011 5:09:30 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		made perfect sense to me, LaT... and I agree (I was having trouble trying to articulate my thoughts so early)

(and yes, DAMN YOU HEATHER for that earworm!! lol)

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Are You... "You?" - 9/16/2011 6:22:18 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NocturnalStalker

Do you think of yourself as someone that balances on the lines of reality and fantasy?  Is your favoured role in BDSM a simulacrum of yourself to the outside world or a stark contrast?  Perhaps you simply feel your "persona" under the BDSM veil is an enhancement of yourself turned up some or that it is entertaining your imagination to be something you would never be mistaken for by an outsider/casual friend.

Are you merely an extension of your design or an architect of your own fantasies?  Are you content with where you currently are in BDSM as submissive or dominant or do you find yourself wondering on the, "What If's?" 


Moving down the line:
Do you think of yourself as someone that balances on the lines of reality and fantasy?  Nah dude. I live with both feet firmly planted in reality. In fact, I'm the guy who tends to throw cold water in the face of dreamers.

Is your favoured role in BDSM a simulacrum of yourself to the outside world or a stark contrast? I'm a take charge hard driving guy no matter where I am. I follow the course of my own council, speak my mind, and for whatever reason people seem to feel I'm a good leader.

Perhaps you simply feel your "persona" under the BDSM veil is an enhancement of yourself turned up some or that it is entertaining your imagination to be something you would never be mistaken for by an outsider/casual friend.
Nope. My BDSM persona is the same persona that I have every minute of every day. Grins. It's pretty much exactly the same one I show here.

Puts on his Prof hat for a moment.
Integrity is derived from the word integer,the latin word for whole, a math term that is used to define a number that is complete in and of itself, a 1, 2, 3 as opposed to a fraction or negative.
The actual word integrity was first used by jewelers and gem cutters, and was coined to describe a stone cut in such a fashion that no matter what angle it was viewed from it appeared the same, in other words, the stone was consistent. The word then shifted in use to describe people who are the same.
Thus a person of integrity would be consistent in beliefs, actions, values,. morals, principles and methodology.
Aaaaand, (Here's the kicker you knew was coming), a person who is not consistent, as in changes who and what they are depending on circumstances, situations, desired outcomes etc...you know, kinda what you are suggesting above...lacks integrity and in fact has none because they are not whole, they are not cohesive, and they do not show the same face/actions to the world no matter what angled they are viewed from.
We now return to the regularly scheduled program.

Are you merely an extension of your design or an architect of your own fantasies? Neither. I am the culmination of ten trillion million experiences undergone by being dunked into the furnace and  crucible of life. I'm not always, even often, the man I wish I was, and I'm certainly not who/what I thought I was gonna be as a kid, but I am the me that has been forged by fate and tempered by age.

Are you content with where you currently are in BDSM as submissive or dominant or do you find yourself wondering on the, "What If's?"  I would say reasonably content. I have areas where I can, and will, grow. But one thing I don't do is engage in "What-ifs." What a useless waste of time and energy. The past is dead and done. I can't change it. What I can do is change the future, be pro-active in my own life and get out and be/experience/live/taste/touch/feel.

P.S.: I like ya kid, that's why I give lengthy serious answers to your questions, but for fucks sake, think less and experience more. You're a good looking guy. Go find some horny young sub slut and spend the next year or so buried in her having your own experience.  :-)

< Message edited by Kana -- 9/16/2011 6:25:44 AM >

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to NocturnalStalker)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Are You... "You?" - 9/16/2011 9:54:34 AM   
needlesandpins


Posts: 3901
Status: offline 		i know who i am, but have only been able to let all that out in recent years. mostly i've hidden myself and not trusted the people around me with what i am. these days i'm totally myself, but in differing degrees depending on who i'm with or where.

at the moment i happen to have someone with whom i can be totally free. this in turn has allowed me to explore avenues that previously i wouldn't have wanted anything to do with. but it's just us and so why not, if it works it works, if not then we move onto the next thing.

strangely, people have always seen me as confident, a leader and assertive. it's not always how i feel though and i'm more than happy to take a back seat on things. i don't like being told what to do though by someone less knowledgable than myself. most people will end up coming to the conclusion eventually that i am weird. my friend told me this again the other day. i told her that i really don't mind, i'm happy in my weirdness and embrace it. she said 'you sure do, i don't know anyone as weird as you, but you wear it so well. it suits you.'

there are lots of different lables that i could attach to myself, but i don't really fit any of them as standard. but weird, kinky, and perverted are usually the ones other people are going to put on me without me even giving too much away.

needles

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Are You... "You?" - 9/16/2011 11:22:32 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		I am a bitch in the real world, I am a bitch here.
*shrug*

Not much changes for me

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to NocturnalStalker)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Are You... "You?" - 9/16/2011 12:54:29 PM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Winterapple

I'm a partime librarian and I believe that's a profession
people like to speculate about. I like to think we have our
own niche in the pervy daydreams of others.


Totally. Totally. Absolutely the hottest profession in the world.

Next comes "Violin Player".

Trust me, I have experience.
quote:



I'm arty and
boho otherwise so, no I wouldn't be surprised if someone I
don't know well might wonder if I'm kinky.


Are you fucking kidding - an arty boho librarian... if you weren't kinky then it would be a world gone mad.

quote:




I don't think anyone would necessarily assume submissive.
I'm not very aggressive and have sort of a zen personality
but I'm stubborn and don't let people walk over me.
If you mean personnas in terms of wearing masks. I think it's
quite the opposite. I think the masks come off. I think each person
responds to something in the other and draws it out fully.
Then both people shapeshift into leopards.
Of course Oscar Wilde said "Man is least himself when he talks
in his own person. Give him a mask and he will you the truth."
What I said really doesn't contradict that.
I think I'm a extension of my design. I would make a poor architect
of anything as I'm poor at structure which is one reason I seek it in
another.
After struggling with certain aspects I am content to be a submissive.



And I'm guessing you rock.

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to Winterapple)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Are You... "You?" - 9/16/2011 1:02:52 PM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NocturnalStalker

Do you think of yourself as someone that balances on the lines of reality and fantasy?


Reality rules.

quote:

Is your favoured role in BDSM a simulacrum of yourself to the outside world or a stark contrast?

It's neither, it's just a side to my personality.

quote:

Perhaps you simply feel your "persona" under the BDSM veil is an enhancement of yourself turned up some or that it is entertaining your imagination to be something you would never be mistaken for by an outsider/casual friend.

Relatively few people would be surprised to discover that I was kinky and dominant. I don't have a "persona" - I'm with kana on this - it's a question of being true to oneself, also it's way to complicated to try to manage lots of personae.

quote:


Are you merely an extension of your design or an architect of your own fantasies?

Neither. I'm a result of my genes, upbringing, and experience.


quote:

Are you content with where you currently are in BDSM as submissive or dominant or do you find yourself wondering on the, "What If's?" 


Perfectly content thanks.


_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Are You... "You?" - 9/16/2011 1:19:21 PM   
Djducati


Posts: 84
Joined: 9/15/2011
Status: offline 		I have given that much thought throughout my life.
i have come to the conclusion I am whatever the fuck I WANT to be.
I am just a chameleon socially.
What I am that I cant change is a 25 year old caucasian.
Everything else is variable.

(in reply to NocturnalStalker)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Are You... "You?" - 9/16/2011 2:22:11 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Even sideways can be fixed!

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Djducati)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Are You... "You?" - 9/16/2011 3:12:58 PM   
Winterapple


Posts: 1343
Joined: 8/19/2011
Status: offline 		I thought it was female 'Cello Players' that inspired pervy daydreams.


_____________________________

A thousand dreams within me softly burn.
Rimbaud




(in reply to crazyml)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Are You... "You?" - 9/16/2011 3:15:39 PM   
zephyroftheNorth


Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Even sideways can be fixed!



Gee thanks LaT, I just snorted hot chicken and rice soup through my nose.

_____________________________

And there's a smile when the pain comes
The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

Team Troll Trollop
Member: Cocksuckers For World Peace
Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags
Member: Subbie Mafia
Member: Hibbie's Hotties

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Are You... "You?" - 9/16/2011 4:41:01 PM   
Awareness


Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
Status: offline 		  It's important that I remain grounded in reality, but spinning illusions is an important part of reaching into someone's mind and connecting with who you find there.  Nobody wants the harsh, gritty reality as it is, we all prefer the subjective reality in which we live.  As much as possible, it's important that I see things as they really are, but knowing how to dip into the world of fantasy, illusion and storytelling is critical.

My persona is reasonably consistent, although I laugh a lot more than anyone here could possibly believe.  Most people aren't terribly insightful - especially online - and haven't yet learned that not everyone who wears a pleasing mask is someone of integrity and value.  My persona discourages those prone to facile impressions and insincere interactions, which is absolutely fine by me.  I'll take a person of depth and sincerity over a social desperate with 900 Facebook friends who runs around telling everyone what they wish to hear.

I'd say I'm a product of my own path.  Decisions, experiences and learning.  Like most people, I fall short of some of my aspirations but that's the entire point of having them.  (Reaching for the moon.... and so on.)

I don't think of myself as "within" BDSM.  I'm not part of this subculture.  I tend to find that some people within it have practices and attitudes which resonate with mine, although there also tends to be significant difference.  From that perspective, I find commonality but don't crave the sense of belonging which seems to characterise many people here.


_____________________________

Ever notice how fucking annoying most signatures are? - Yes, I do appreciate the irony.

(in reply to NocturnalStalker)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Are You... "You?" - 9/16/2011 4:45:29 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
quote:

Nobody wants the harsh, gritty reality as it is, we all prefer the subjective reality in which we live.


I do.

Sorry but I'll take the harsh, gritty reality over any kind of illusion anyday!!!

And believe me, I make sure people are aware of that. I want to deal with what's in front of me as it is, not what you want to believe it is and not what you want to try to get me to believe it is.




_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Are You... "You?" - 9/16/2011 5:09:48 PM   
Awareness


Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
Status: offline 		  I doubt it.  People who live in that space all the time turn into a fucking existentialist with a "life is meaningless" outlook.  Nobody wants to become Jean Paul Sartre and spend the last 40 years of your life wringing your hands over the futility of existence and the inevitability of death.  It never gets you invited to the good parties.


_____________________________

Ever notice how fucking annoying most signatures are? - Yes, I do appreciate the irony.

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Are You... "You?" - 9/16/2011 5:18:12 PM   
SoulAlloy


Posts: 2106
Joined: 8/23/2009
From: Preston, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NocturnalStalker
Do you think of yourself as someone that balances on the lines of reality and fantasy?  Is your favoured role in BDSM a simulacrum of yourself to the outside world or a stark contrast? 


Ever since my teens I've fantasised about being controlled, in real life I'm middle management, given a job to do but in charge of a team to make it happen. I'm primarily submissive, though have topped now and again, so you could say it's an inverted mirror in my case.

quote:

Are you merely an extension of your design or an architect of your own fantasies?  Are you content with where you currently are in BDSM as submissive or dominant or do you find yourself wondering on the, "What If's?" 


In many ways I have felt that at work it is the act, a role to be played professionally and control my own feelings and keep them in check. Similarly as a dad I have to act more confident than I am and to act with authority when it's needed.

I feel more able to be myself in a submissive context, more content and at peace with the world. So in many ways I feel the architect of my working life, and free in my bdsm one. There are many shades between with friends and family, but these are my thoughts :)

_____________________________

"Better to be a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without" - Confucius

"It'll be alright in the end - if it isn't alright, it's not the end." - unknown

Kinky crossdressing Whovian

Host of the Preston (UK) Munch, 2nd Wednesday each month

(in reply to NocturnalStalker)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Are You... "You?" - 9/16/2011 5:32:56 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
quote:

People who live in that space all the time turn into a fucking existentialist with a "life is meaningless" outlook.


For me it's just the opposite. I find life to be very meaningful and I try to enjoy it as much as I possibly can within reason, morals, values, etc...seeing life in the harsh, gritty reality that it is is what gives it meaning to me.

That may be your experience but it's not mine or a few others that i know who follow the same premise as myself.



_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to Awareness)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Are You... "You?" - 9/16/2011 5:50:04 PM   
Kalista07


Posts: 4240
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness
Nobody wants the harsh, gritty reality as it is, we all prefer the subjective reality in which we live.  As much as possible, it's important that I see things as they really are, but knowing how to dip into the world of fantasy, illusion and storytelling is critical.


Damn... I was hoping you all would not realize my 'real name' is Nobody... Because like littlewonder, I prefer reality as it is.  Anything less than reality feels like a huge lie. And I don't think I'm necessarily cynical or jaded, I find enjoyment where I can and look for the joy in humanity. 
Perhaps it is because I'm too stupid or something but I don't pretend to be anything other than exactly who I am...... I'm not submissive in my non BDSM life because that's not inherently my personality. It takes a man of character, strength, integrity, and value to awaken that submissive feeling in me. My submission comes from a place of power and I am okay with that today.

Kali


_____________________________

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb


(in reply to Awareness)
Profile   Post #: 40
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