RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd been raped? (Full Version)

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CynthiaWVirginia -> RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd been raped? (9/18/2011 12:52:54 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Cynthia, yes, My eyes tend to light up the same way.  [:D]

Also, I appreciate that you are trying to learn.  I think a number of folks make the assumption that  all folks who identify as bisexual need to have a partner of both genders at all times.  Granted, some people *do* want that, but it isn't universal just because somebody identifies in that way.  Very much the same as someone who identifies as switch.  Not all switches feel the need to have both a Dominant and a submissive in their life at the same time.  It really all comes down to the individual, how they feel about fidelity, and if they consider themselves poly.  (For what it's worth, I think even poly-fuckery applies here.)

Of course, Arpig said all this more eloquently than I did.  I don't think I really added anything new.  I was just really glad that you approached this the way you did with wanting to learn more.  In other words, kudos!



Oooooooooooh...  [sm=yourock.gif]

You explained this in just the right way to help me understand!


*****
To Arpig. 

Sorry that it took me so long to understand what you were trying to explain about bisexuality.  It was not my intention to make anyone have to defend their lovestyle...and it is a good thing I get to hear from others at CM to balance out shiite from family, r/t friends, neighbors, etc.  I freely admit I have seen too much ugly in my day and that it pleases me to come online and find honorable behavior. 

(I still reserve the right to disagree, maybe wrongly so, about believing sexuality is based on what you will do physically or with your heart...instead of just in our fantasy life.  We will agree to disagree on this.)  [;)]



zephyroftheNorth -> RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd been raped? (9/18/2011 1:22:02 PM)

ooo I missed that post. Bravo LadyP I think you hit the nail right on the head!



gungadin09 -> RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd been raped? (9/18/2011 1:33:04 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09
But, yes, if a person attaches non-existent negative characteristics to a perfectly neutral trait, and then uses THAT as the basis for forming opinions about people with that trait... THAT'S BIGOTRY.


What i meant is that sexual preference is not bigotry.  Bigotry is making judgements (other than the judgement of whether to be attracted to someone) about individual members of a group because of preconceived notions you have about the group.

pam



LaTigresse -> RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd been raped? (9/18/2011 3:41:04 PM)

I think that there is a very common misconception that a bi-sexual person will not be satisfied being monogamous to one person. That they will somehow hunger for sex with the other gender and not be able to control themself or be happy with one. The fear is, to me, as ludicrous as saying that a straight or gay person that has slept with other people will never be satisfied being monogamous. One has not one fucking thing to do with the other.

Monogamy is monogamy, regardless of sexuality.



NocturnalStalker -> RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd been raped? (9/18/2011 4:48:16 PM)

Oh, Arpig was just defending Heather.  This makes so much sense now. 



PeonForHer -> RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd been raped? (9/18/2011 4:54:36 PM)

Almost every female partner I've had has had fantasies about sex with her own gender. I never cared about that. It never crossed my mind that they'd leave me to find female partners, nor that I couldn't be fulfilling to them sexually because of their bi inclinations. Fantasies are no more than fantasies, whether they're about sex, being a superhero or flying a spaceship. People can get by without any great need to turn them all into reality.

I do suspect that there really does seem to be some, shall we say 'nervousness', about bisexual males amongst women that men don't have about bisexual women. What *is* this? Is it something to do with the idea that men just must dip their wicks and can't stick at fantasy alone? Or is it something else? Sometimes, I think that women will put up with almost anything in their male partners except their being complicated. They expect them to be a bit like dogs, maybe: loud, smelly and the worst of them may bite. That's OK, so long as you never find them trying on your underwear while you're out.

Just suspicions, like I said. Maybe steeped in my own prejudices. God knows.



HeatherMcLeather -> RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd been raped? (9/18/2011 6:17:45 PM)

quote:

Sometimes, I think that women will put up with almost anything in their male partners except their being complicated.
Well that really does make sense, I mean we have to deal with oursleves. Surely that's more than enough complication for any person's life.



DeviantlyD -> RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd been raped? (9/18/2011 6:17:50 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

quote:

Arpig, actually Heather has said it. She claims her being gay is a concept of being hard wired, but my sexual attractions are concepts of phobia, bigotry and prejudice.
Noooo, not to my recollection. The best I can recall is that she said that her being attracted to females was hard wired, and thus a sexual preference, but that you not being attracted to bisexuals or homosexuals was not hard wired and thus not a sexual preference. If I have that wrong, please point me to where she said it, and I'll happily concede this point.



quote:

ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather

quote:

not being sexually attracted to someone due to their sexual orientation does not equal being phobic of or bigoted against that orientation.
Not being sexually attracted to someone due to their sexual orientation is only possible if one is phobic and bigoted against that orientation.






NiceGuyNihilist -> RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd been raped? (9/18/2011 6:18:05 PM)

I like starting threads.



DeviantlyD -> RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd been raped? (9/18/2011 6:20:14 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: NiceGuyNihilist

I like starting threads.


*LOL*



tj444 -> RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd been raped? (9/18/2011 6:34:07 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
so long as you never find them trying on your underwear while you're out.

Just suspicions, like I said. Maybe steeped in my own prejudices. God knows.


Well, i have never had fantasies about having sex with other women. I have thought about becoming a lesbian cuz of disillusionment about men but i am just not wired that way. [:(]

My first boyfriend would sometimes cut a hole in my pantyhose, wear them and have sex with me. I didnt think anything of him wearing them... just as long as it wasnt my best pantyhose.. [;)]



DeviantlyD -> RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd been raped? (9/18/2011 6:47:45 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444


quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
so long as you never find them trying on your underwear while you're out.

Just suspicions, like I said. Maybe steeped in my own prejudices. God knows.


Well, i have never had fantasies about having sex with other women. I have thought about becoming a lesbian cuz of disillusionment about men but i am just not wired that way. [:(]

My first boyfriend would sometimes cut a hole in my pantyhose, wear them and have sex with me. I didnt think anything of him wearing them... just as long as it wasnt my best pantyhose.. [;)]



I wonder about kinks like those of your first boyfriend. How did they get started? (I'm speaking generally here and not specifically about your first boyfriend.) There is a series on TLC called "Strange Sex" and they profiled a man whose kink is balloons...he gets turned on and ejaculates when balloons are involved. There must be some association somewhere and it gets coded in with what arouses us. Hmmm...interesting.



DeviantlyD -> RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd been raped? (9/18/2011 6:48:49 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: NocturnalStalker

Oh, Arpig was just defending Heather.  This makes so much sense now. 




*LOL* ;)



tazzygirl -> RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd been raped? (9/19/2011 12:36:31 AM)

In Arpig's defense, he is bisexual... and may have felt a bit defensive about this issue. No one wants to hear that they have been discounted as a potential partner based upon their own sexual *gender* preferences.

I could be wrong and he didnt take it defensively... I certainly cannot speak for him.



DeviantlyD -> RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd been raped? (9/19/2011 1:56:37 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

In Arpig's defense, he is bisexual... and may have felt a bit defensive about this issue. No one wants to hear that they have been discounted as a potential partner based upon their own sexual *gender* preferences.

I could be wrong and he didnt take it defensively... I certainly cannot speak for him.


Yeah, he had mentioned that some pages back. And I know what you're saying, but at the same time, why get your panties (not yours, but the generic "yours") in a twist over something someone you don't even know, types online? I don't get why anyone thinks that a sexual preference is bigoted. It's so loopy. Now if someone is bigoted about people in general, that may carry over into their sexual preferences, but to say sexual preferences are, in and of themselves, bigoted...yeah, that's something else. I'm tending to side with NocturnalStalker on this one. ;)



Winterapple -> RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd been raped? (9/19/2011 1:57:33 AM)

Well, congratulations, you started a doozy with this one



DeviantlyD -> RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd been raped? (9/19/2011 2:39:00 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Winterapple

Well, congratulations, you started a doozy with this one


Ain't that the truth! *LOL* I rather think he enjoys it though. :D



zephyroftheNorth -> RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd been raped? (9/19/2011 3:45:52 AM)

quote:

And I know what you're saying, but at the same time, why get your panties (not yours, but the generic "yours") in a twist over something someone you don't even know, types online?


So when Bob told you to fuck off and you got all butthurt about how rude he was being you were....



DeviantlyD -> RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd been raped? (9/19/2011 4:06:12 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

quote:

And I know what you're saying, but at the same time, why get your panties (not yours, but the generic "yours") in a twist over something someone you don't even know, types online?


So when Bob told you to fuck off and you got all butthurt about how rude he was being you were....


Actually no, I wasn't "butthurt". I just found him to be incredibly rude and called him on it.

Is there some particular reason you are nitpicking my posts?



zephyroftheNorth -> RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd been raped? (9/19/2011 4:10:24 AM)

But why would you even care? After all it's just words on a screen right?



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