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RE: heteroflexible vs bisexual - 9/22/2011 6:09:48 AM   
LadyPact


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Status: offline 		All I can say is, don't knock obedience until you try it.  

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RE: heteroflexible vs bisexual - 9/22/2011 6:37:19 AM   
xssve


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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

personally I think heteroflexible is just a more pc term for bisexual.



Bi-curious is out, heteroflexible is in.

Bi-curious does imply a lack of experience, heteroflexible sounds more like you're used to it.

Yesterday's bi-curious are today's heteroflexible - similarly, there may be a distinction between gay and lesbian and the merely heterophobic, an interesting thought - but maybe I better quit while I'm ahead.

(in reply to littlewonder)
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RE: heteroflexible vs bisexual - 9/22/2011 10:07:04 AM   
Damacis


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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
I'm not sure that's true of most subs by any means, but it's true of me.

Given that obedience is central to the very definition of submissive, I would wager it is, but even if not, replace "more often than not" with many, same principle applies. Humiliation and obedience are the driving forces, not homosexuality. (for some) Obviously there are bi's too. The point is -- not everyone is bi.

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RE: heteroflexible vs bisexual - 9/22/2011 11:58:14 AM   
PeonForHer


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

All I can say is, don't knock obedience until you try it.  


I understand, Your Ladyship. Will you let me know if/when it's OK to knock obedience? ;-)


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RE: heteroflexible vs bisexual - 9/22/2011 1:47:50 PM   
Arpig


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quote:

willingness to do an act does not imply some latent desire for it.
I'm willing to pay income tax......

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RE: heteroflexible vs bisexual - 9/22/2011 7:31:01 PM   
xssve


Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
Status: offline 		Commie!

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RE: heteroflexible vs bisexual - 9/22/2011 11:14:17 PM   
hangemhigh1953


Posts: 245
Joined: 7/8/2011
Status: offline 		Maybe my definitions are a bit off, but when I think "homosexual", "heterosexual", or "bisexual", I think of someone who wants a relationship with the corresponding gender(s), as opposed to just sex; and "heteroflexible" refers to someone like myself who can enjoy sexual experiences with both genders but would only pursue a relationship with the opposite sex.

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RE: heteroflexible vs bisexual - 9/23/2011 10:11:08 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
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quote:

ORIGINAL: winspiritsbaby
Ok, so I went back a couple of pages on the search and now I'm even more confused!
What is the difference between heteroflexible and bisexual?


I think (and I'm really just throwing something out here)....one is more limber and can do that thing on a sandy beach with bamboo poles where they bend their back somewhat extensively while there's a lot of drum music in the background as they have a lime in their mouth while holding a big glass of rum (with a lot of people yelling "GO for it!!!!")....

The other wears knee pads.

(Of course, they might be yelling "Go for it" in the latter case as well....it just depends...I'd actually have to know the person better to really say for sure).

(in reply to winspiritsbaby)
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RE: heteroflexible vs bisexual - 9/24/2011 6:17:13 AM   
lthrpup


Posts: 125
Joined: 4/28/2004
Status: offline 		I have also used the term 'heteroflexible' to describe an otherwise straight person who is willing to engage in sexual activities with a person of the same gender out of a motivation to submit; a person who would enter a D/s relationship with someone of the same gender when they would have no interest in a vanilla relationship with the same person; someone who is open to both vanilla and D/s relationships with the opposite sex but only D/s with the same sex.

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RE: heteroflexible vs bisexual - 9/24/2011 7:37:53 PM   
LillyBoPeep


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quote:

ORIGINAL: hangemhigh1953

Maybe my definitions are a bit off, but when I think "homosexual", "heterosexual", or "bisexual", I think of someone who wants a relationship with the corresponding gender(s), as opposed to just sex; and "heteroflexible" refers to someone like myself who can enjoy sexual experiences with both genders but would only pursue a relationship with the opposite sex.


agreeing with this -- this is the way i use it.


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RE: heteroflexible vs bisexual - 9/25/2011 8:28:19 AM   
needsaroom


Posts: 15
Joined: 9/22/2011
Status: offline 		I think they mean the same thing. Maybe heteroflexible is the better term for a gymnast. Bisexual sounds like it could mean you have sex twice a year. I like using the word horny for everyone and not quibbling about the details. 

< Message edited by needsaroom -- 9/25/2011 9:18:24 AM >

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RE: heteroflexible vs bisexual - 9/25/2011 8:39:35 AM   
CeriseNin


Posts: 286
Joined: 4/8/2010
Status: offline 		lawl

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Profile   Post #: 72
RE: heteroflexible vs bisexual - 9/25/2011 5:13:31 PM   
ElanSubdued


Posts: 1511
Status: offline
quote:

hangemhigh1953:
Maybe my definitions are a bit off, but when I think "homosexual", "heterosexual", or "bisexual", I think of someone who wants a relationship with the corresponding gender(s), as opposed to just sex; and "heteroflexible" refers to someone like myself who can enjoy sexual experiences with both genders but would only pursue a relationship with the opposite sex.

LillyBoPeep
agreeing with this -- this is the way i use it.


+1, but I'll add... the range of hetero-flexibility can be quite wide.  And, just because someone doesn't say "hard no" to sex with the same gender doesn't mean they're actively looking for this either.

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)
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RE: heteroflexible vs bisexual - 9/29/2011 4:10:19 AM   
subbinginal


Posts: 13
Joined: 6/21/2010
Status: offline 		I actually loved when I saw this term for the first time. I think it means to each of us what it means to each of us. I say tomato, You say tamatoe. I have been with several women, but I LOVE men. Men is what does it for me. I dont go around searching out sexual encounters with the same sex. I dont fantasize about women, well, usually. For the most part, like I have read from others, my encounters with the same sex was usually done with the intent to drive a man crazy, sexually. The term bisexual did'nt seem to fit for me. I think of bisexual like many of the others, as being able, wanting to have partnerships, with either sex for more than just sexual things. That is not me. So I was very happy to see hetroflexible as an option on fetlife. When I read that term, I didnt ponder or wonder what it meant, I knew what it meant for me, a more acturately way of depicting my sexual orientation, proclivities

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Profile   Post #: 74
RE: heteroflexible vs bisexual - 9/29/2011 9:48:27 AM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		to me it's not even necessarily about "i only do this to make a dude happy." i have fantacized about women, and i like them more than i admit i do, but i'm also not comfortable saying i'm bisexual because a lot of what gets me going comes from the polarity between me and a male, and i've just never really considered a relationship with a woman. i don't want to say i'm "bisexual" if i'm not actively looking for either-sex relationships. i would prefer a long-term relationship to be heterosexual, but you really have no idea what life might throw your way i guess.
to me, it's saying "i'm open to this," and ElanSubdued is right to point out, just because someone IDs that way doesn't mean that actively looking for something, or that they're going to automatically accept advances from anyone. the laws of attraction still apply.


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RE: heteroflexible vs bisexual - 9/30/2011 12:16:30 PM   
BristolDomM


Posts: 1
Joined: 3/27/2011
Status: offline 		I would suggest heteroflexible (and nearer the opposite end of the spectrum homoflexible) as with gay, bi or straight exists outside the confines of BDSM, so whilst the topic of Dominating someone into sexual activities outside of their normal gender preference certainly has its place on a BDSM board, it isn't directly relevant to understanding these terms. You can identify as hetroflexible without being sub.

Kinsey's studies in the 1940's and other studies since (not to mention our own experiences) indicated that there was a continuum of human sexuality, not simple boxes. The C19th labels used become difficult because you're dealing with a continuum (which wasn't recognised when the 3 main terms were coined) not a series of boxes and there aren't that many labels.

Some people use hetroflexible and bi-curious interchangably, however, bi-curious tends to indicate unacted upon (as yet) curiousity, whereas the flexible terms are more often used by those who have gotten over the curiousity phase. You could simply label all people identifying as hetro- or homo- flexible as bi, I see them as an attempt to provide finer distinctions than is permitted by that one term, giving you 5 principle categories in the continuum rather than 3 (plus add in pansexual if you want to make life more interesting). And of course don't forget the term for someone not on the continuum at all, asexual.

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)
Profile   Post #: 76
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