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RE: Prenups - 9/25/2011 12:20:06 PM   
barelynangel


Posts: 6233
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quote:

Suze didn't earn the money she inherited, but it belongs to her all the same


Does it?  Heather not all inheritance works that way, epecially nowadays in the world of trusts.

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RE: Prenups - 9/25/2011 12:28:17 PM   
HeatherMcLeather


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Joined: 5/21/2011
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Status: offline 		Well of course it is about trusting ME, they are asking ME to sign an agreement so it is ME who's trustworthiness is in question.

And I'm sorry, but I fail to see how not having a pre-nup would in any way compromise anybody's integrity. I'd really like an explanation of this ridiculous idea.

And why would it be emotional blackmail for me to say I won't marry if she insists on a pre-nup, but not for her to say she won't marry unless I sign one?

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RE: Prenups - 9/25/2011 12:35:43 PM   
Epytropos


Posts: 699
Joined: 7/23/2011
Status: offline 		Call me a cynic, but I've seen way too many perfect couples go to hell to fly without a net. At the very least a prenup specifying no alimony under any circumstances, family money staying with the person whose family left it to them, and marital assets divided according to overall earnings of each person seems like basic logic. Yes it's not very romantic, but it is very realistic. If someone is actually willing to fight a prenup like that, it's a pretty good sign they intend to take you for everything you're worth if you split up. If they weren't, and planned to divide things equitably, then why wouldn't they sign to that effect?


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RE: Prenups - 9/25/2011 12:35:49 PM   
HeatherMcLeather


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Status: offline 		Yes it does, which is why I said it does. 

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RE: Prenups - 9/25/2011 12:40:48 PM   
IrishMist


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet

This came up in another thread. What are people's feelings on this? Personally, I wouldn't dream of getting married without one.

My late husband and I had one.

I don't plan on ever marrying again, so getting one in the future is pretty non-existant.

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RE: Prenups - 9/25/2011 12:40:57 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		In some states, what you have before the marriage is yours to keep.

I agree with you. Except all assets accumulated during the marriage should be split. If you had it before, its yours alone.

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RE: Prenups - 9/25/2011 12:42:41 PM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

quote:

You are fucking hilarious lately.
And you're just fucking stupid, as always.

quote:

Yeah, that fucking rudeness I exhibited should be banned I tell ya.
I didn't mention anything about rudeness, but yes it is rude to tell somebody their opinion is of no value because they are too young.

quote:

Betters.
Yes betters...that would be those people who are better than you, those of greater worth or value, which in your case would include everybody else on these boards, including dear old Kevin..

Your reading comprehension sucks.  I complimented your oh so special Heather, told her at her age I had agreed with her, and that I would love to have this discussion with her in 20 years, because I SUSPECTED that her opinions may have changed.

As for the boards being better off without me, I tell ya what,  I will leave if you do, and there can be dancing in the streets sugar.

At least you got you location correct.  You are increasingly getting farther and farther from reality.

But, thanks for the snorts and giggles.  Keep em coming!


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RE: Prenups - 9/25/2011 12:45:02 PM   
barelynangel


Posts: 6233
Status: offline 		Never have dealt with prenups in the law i have worked within.  So i really don't know a percentage. I have known people who have prenups, but that was on a personal level not a professional one.

angel

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RE: Prenups - 9/25/2011 12:46:02 PM   
zephyroftheNorth


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From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline 		Heather, what you aren't getting is that the prenup isn't necessarily to prevent you from getting assets. It can also ensure that you DO get them in the event that there are relatives who would love to get their hands on them. I know that isn't the case with Hanners but what about a relationship where there is that possibility?

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RE: Prenups - 9/25/2011 12:47:06 PM   
zephyroftheNorth


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quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

Never have dealt with prenups in the law i have worked within.  So i really don't know a percentage. I have known people who have prenups, but that was on a personal level not a professional one.

angel


Okay, thanks angel. So much for my plan to pump you for information. <evil yet innocent grin>

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RE: Prenups - 9/25/2011 12:48:56 PM   
Arpig


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Status: offline 		Actually it's your reading comprehension that sucks, I didn't say anything about what you said or didn't say, and I didn't say anything about the boards being better or worse off with anybody.

And trying to insult me by pointing out the self-deprecating remark I make in my location really is pathetic....I already said it, so you saying it just makes you look even more moronic than you did before...I know that's not easy to do, but you're succeeding wonderfully.



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RE: Prenups - 9/25/2011 12:49:39 PM   
CeriseNin


Posts: 286
Joined: 4/8/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather

Well of course it is about trusting ME, they are asking ME to sign an agreement so it is ME who's trustworthiness is in question.

And I'm sorry, but I fail to see how not having a pre-nup would in any way compromise anybody's integrity. I'd really like an explanation of this ridiculous idea.

And why would it be emotional blackmail for me to say I won't marry if she insists on a pre-nup, but not for her to say she won't marry unless I sign one?


Not really, at least wrt me asking a woman to sign a prenup. I would trust her with the assets, but that is utterly and completely irrelevant, because of prior and ongoing commitments to my family. Not having a prenup would compromise my integrity because I'd be betraying my family's trust in me. It's not about her, it's about them. In the prenup would be a nice sum for her as well, because I would want to protect her, too.

if she refuses to sign, I drop dead, she may be left out in the cold. I trust my family to never do that to my wife, but I would want to protect her all the same.



< Message edited by CeriseNin -- 9/25/2011 12:51:48 PM >

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RE: Prenups - 9/25/2011 12:50:06 PM   
barelynangel


Posts: 6233
Status: offline 		Why do you say it does?  

The reason i ask is this -- nowadays, many inheritance's are controled by trusts, which means that while the beneficiaries have access, are able to utilize the trust, the assets that make up the trust belong to the trust, not the beneficiaries.  A lot of trusts are not allowed to be willed to people outside the family, i.e., a spouse of a beneficiary cannot be added as a beneficiary to the trust.

So it may not be hers, but instead is on loan so to speak while she is a beneficiary.  I am sure it is because you said so and you know all the logistics of her inheritance, but just thought i would throw that little tidbit in in case you simply may not know the logistics. 

angel

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RE: Prenups - 9/25/2011 12:50:07 PM   
HeatherMcLeather


Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline 		Why don't both of you just stop it.

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RE: Prenups - 9/25/2011 12:52:05 PM   
tiggerspoohbear


Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder
doesn't anyone find it the least bit funny that we go on and on about trust in bdsm relationships on this forum but yet when push comes to shove lol.......

Not really, no. Look at poohbear's post, nothing was specified and all the pieces that meant so much to her were taken by her sis and father. Seems a good case for a prenup/will to me. What I find funny is that people who have no problems with wills are so up in arms when the subject is a prenup.

Nah Zeph, my sister took from the house with my dad too distraught to even think I'd want anything.  I wasn't there when she did so, I lived 4 hrs away and she lives in Orleans.  Dad felt bad about it when I found out, but it was too late by then.  I got the old porcelain doll I wanted because I'd specified that and her family ring.  And my dad gave me his first engagement ring since they'd replaced it.  There were 2 other large pieces I was supposed to get, but I get the feeling she convinced him to throw them away. 

My sister acts more like a wife towards my dad then his daughter, and it's been noticed by his side of the family and his g/f too.  But then she's more like my mom every day and that's just a skeeery thought.  She's 2 1/2 yrs younger than I am, and gets her way with a lot of things.  I won't let her win this battle though, I can't.  

ETA:   My darling sister waited until my dad sold the house (too big for him alone) then went to "help" him pack.  That's when she got her hands on most of the stuff.  He didn't know what to do with a lot of it, and let her pick through.  Meanwhile, I was told not to come down to help him pack as I'd be in the way.  Yay for me.  Won't happen, God Forbid, should something happen to him.  I'm going to be as involved as I can.  I'm only an hour away now. 


< Message edited by tiggerspoohbear -- 9/25/2011 1:01:39 PM >

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RE: Prenups - 9/25/2011 12:53:32 PM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

Actually it's your reading comprehension that sucks, I didn't say anything about what you said or didn't say, and I didn't say anything about the boards being better or worse off with anybody.

And trying to insult me by pointing out the self-deprecating remark I make in my location really is pathetic....I already said it, so you saying it just makes you look even more moronic than you did before...I know that's not easy to do, but you're succeeding wonderfully.


Touche on me reading the betters thing wrong.  Now that I know you meant only that you are better than me and dear old Kevin, well, it is all good now.

Now, about you telling me where I, as an  addle-pated old battle axe talked down to her betters in a pathetic effort to make herself feel superior.

Damn if I can find it.


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RE: Prenups - 9/25/2011 12:54:06 PM   
HeatherMcLeather


Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline
quote:

It can also ensure that you DO get them in the event that there are relatives who would love to get their hands on them.

I'm sorry, I've never heard of relatives taking somebody's stuff when you get a divorce. I think you're confusing things here. We're discussing a pre-nup, not a will.

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RE: Prenups - 9/25/2011 12:57:24 PM   
CeriseNin


Posts: 286
Joined: 4/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

Why do you say it does?  

The reason i ask is this -- nowadays, many inheritance's are controled by trusts, which means that while the beneficiaries have access, are able to utilize the trust, the assets that make up the trust belong to the trust, not the beneficiaries.  A lot of trusts are not allowed to be willed to people outside the family, i.e., a spouse of a beneficiary cannot be added as a beneficiary to the trust.

So it may not be hers, but instead is on loan so to speak while she is a beneficiary.  I am sure it is because you said so and you know all the logistics of her inheritance, but just thought i would throw that little tidbit in in case you simply may not know the logistics. 

angel

Also I'd like to point out that having access doesn't mean unfettered, at least in the case I'm familiar with. It's a controlled trust and money has to be asked for and approved. Some is wrapped up in charities, etc.

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RE: Prenups - 9/25/2011 12:58:05 PM   
zephyroftheNorth


Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline 		Okay that's clearer but my point still stands. If it isn't specified there's every chance the person who wants something of sentimental value may not get it. So really the prenup can not only prevent the spouse from getting something of personal value, it can ensure that s/he DOES get it.

I'm lucky, after my grandparents died, everyone who asked for something of value to them got it. So civilized. Noone took something out of spite, disputes were settled civilly.

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RE: Prenups - 9/25/2011 1:00:48 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		Prenuptial agreements are, at best, a partial solution to obviating some of the risks of marital property disputes in times of divorce. They protect minimal assets and are not the final word. Nevertheless, they can be very powerful and limit parties' property rights and alimony. It may be impossible to set aside a properly drafted and executed prenup. A prenup can dictate not only what happens if the parties divorce, but also what happens when they die. They can act as a contract to make a will and/or eliminate all your rights to property, probate homestead, probate allowance, right to take as a predetermined heir, and the right to act as an executor and administrator of your spouse's estate.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prenuptial_agreement#United_States

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Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

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Profile   Post #: 220
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