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RE: Prenups - 9/25/2011 3:06:33 PM   
HeatherMcLeather


Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline 		OK, that makes that clear. Thanks.

(in reply to CeriseNin)
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RE: Prenups - 9/25/2011 3:07:01 PM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
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quote:

ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather

It sort of defeats the whole purpose of marrying. "Share my life, but not all of it."
Not necessarily.

It can also say we both know that many relationships end.  Some amicably, some bitterly.  Being in love and having a fairytale for 20 years can end, as people change.  In order to protect what we have, and what we may accrue, it makes perfect sense to be adult enough to consider every possibility, so that neither of us ends up with nothing should this bliss end some day down the road.




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RE: Prenups - 9/25/2011 3:08:49 PM   
CeriseNin


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Joined: 4/8/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

kids most certainly can. =p even if they're blood, they can take something, cut people off, marry some dude in milan and never be heard from again.
to me it's like "i may have married you, but youre not my family." which is... offputting.


Sure they can, but they'll still have a trust, and they can marry whomever they please. Although now I think it' it's setup different for them, so if they decide to run off to Milan with Roberto, for so long as she and Roberto are married, it's all peachy, but if they divorce, Roberto won't see a dime.

My siblings and I are the only ones who are still currently 'old school'.

Yep, I can see how it would feel like that, but really it's about my dad watching his nightmare play out with other familys, where the spouses divorce and the legal wrangling drag on for years.

That's his assets though. My personal assets are just that, mine, and I will never ask a woman to sign a prenup regarding my assets, because as far as I'm concerned, my assets are our assets when we marry. I'm just unwilling to extend that same sentiment wrt my father's assets, because well, they aren't mine to share.

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)
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RE: Prenups - 9/25/2011 3:09:51 PM   
HeatherMcLeather


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Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline 		That has nothing to do with what I was talking about.

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RE: Prenups - 9/25/2011 3:13:04 PM   
JstAnotherSub


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quote:

ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather

That has nothing to do with what I was talking about.
Well, to me it does.  A pre-nup does not necessarily mean
quote:

"Share my life, but not all of it."


It can mean something else.


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RE: Prenups - 9/25/2011 3:18:39 PM   
barelynangel


Posts: 6233
Status: offline 		lillybopeep,

The spouse benefits from the inheritance while in the marraige.  It's only in the event of a divorce they do not - they may not have Control of the assets but if they are part of the family, then they benefit from the inheritance. 

Actually, no, blood is blood, what the beneficiaries decide to do with the assets is up to them as long as its within terms of the trust, and if one moves to milan and never is heard from again, it doesn't mean that their part of the trust is just given to others, it's kept in the trust until such time it's dealt with through the provisions of the trust.  Many times it will revert to the kids of the escapee lol and upon their death, they would be notified of the trust. 

I don't understand how you came to the conclusion that you have.  What exactly are you meaning are you speaking of prenups or the trusts?  In either capacity, as long as there is a marraige, the concept is moot.  It's only in event there is a divorce that the prenup comes into effect and she or he no longer gets to help spend the assets of the trust because they are no longer married to the beneficiary.

angel

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(in reply to CeriseNin)
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RE: Prenups - 9/25/2011 3:24:04 PM   
HeatherMcLeather


Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline 		I was speaking of a very specific case, and in that case it doesn't say something else, at least not to me. And it was an attitude not a pre-nup I was referring to.

< Message edited by HeatherMcLeather -- 9/25/2011 3:25:02 PM >

(in reply to JstAnotherSub)
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RE: Prenups - 9/25/2011 3:29:35 PM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline 		Ah, I did not realize the thread had turned to a discussion of attitudes instead of prenups.

Dats what I get for speakin round mah betters I reckon.




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RE: Prenups - 9/25/2011 3:32:21 PM   
HeatherMcLeather


Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline 		No, that's what you get for not paying attention.

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RE: Prenups - 9/25/2011 3:39:39 PM   
tazzygirl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

lol sorry, it's not the technical term.  Its when the wills of each mirror each other as to


each spouse's will pretty much say the same thing they just change the names around.

angel


true Angel. I didnt mean it imply that either the prenup or the will were the absolute final word over the other.

For example, if the prenup leaves x amount to the wife, can the husband change his will to ensure she doesnt get that even though they are still married?

I definitely agree it all depends on the wording of those documents, what each contain and the laws of the state the parties reside in.

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RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

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RE: Prenups - 9/25/2011 3:46:35 PM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		i guess i'm one of these goony romantics and maybe when i have more life experience it'll make more sense, i dunno. or maybe not; i don't generally wind up with the types who have tons of assets and i'm perfectly fine with that because i don't generally relate well to them anyway.
but it's not about the STUFF so much as the imposition of this invisible line between you -- you aren't my real family. when i love a person enough for this to matter, that person is family to me. so this all comes across as "well, you're not REAL family." especially when the kids you help create ARE considered "real family." and that rubs me the wrong way.

but like i said, i will hopefully never have to deal with it. =p


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RE: Prenups - 9/25/2011 3:50:42 PM   
JstAnotherSub


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quote:

ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather

No, that's what you get for not paying attention.
Some day I will learn.


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yep

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RE: Prenups - 9/25/2011 3:55:58 PM   
NocturnalStalker


Posts: 3858
Joined: 12/4/2010
Status: offline 		What's mine is mine.  What's hers is mine too.


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RE: Prenups - 9/25/2011 3:56:32 PM   
CeriseNin


Posts: 286
Joined: 4/8/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NocturnalStalker

What's mine is mine.  What's hers is mine too.


And some say romance is dead.

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RE: Prenups - 9/25/2011 4:00:43 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

i guess i'm one of these goony romantics and maybe when i have more life experience it'll make more sense, i dunno. or maybe not; i don't generally wind up with the types who have tons of assets and i'm perfectly fine with that because i don't generally relate well to them anyway.
but it's not about the STUFF so much as the imposition of this invisible line between you -- you aren't my real family. when i love a person enough for this to matter, that person is family to me. so this all comes across as "well, you're not REAL family." especially when the kids you help create ARE considered "real family." and that rubs me the wrong way.

but like i said, i will hopefully never have to deal with it. =p




I suppose its like this... I can divorce the man... the kids will always be mine.

But, in this day and age, it can be just as likely that the woman holds all the assets.

I knew one couple who had one.... and it was written to be valid for only the first 10 years. A prenup can say many things... it doesnt have to be cut throat, nor does it have to last forever

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)
Profile   Post #: 275
RE: Prenups - 9/25/2011 4:18:32 PM   
DeviantlyD


Posts: 4375
Joined: 5/26/2007
From: Hawai`i
Status: offline 		heathermcleather: Your posts (here and elsewhere) illustrate that your views are very black and white. In the real world there are many shades of grey as well.

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RE: Prenups - 9/25/2011 6:16:34 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I was thinking earlier about this subject. Once upon a time I was seeing a young woman much like Cerise has described her situation. Had she lived, it is likely her money and family, would have been the demise of the relationship.

Had our relationship survived, and had it ended up becoming what she said she wanted, what I wanted, I would have demanded a prenup. Not to protect and not to provide. BUT to prove to her family that it was HER I wanted and not their precious money or things.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Prenups - 9/25/2011 6:27:16 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		Ya know... prenups dont have to be forever... either.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 278
RE: Prenups - 9/25/2011 6:40:31 PM   
HeatherMcLeather


Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline 		Those "shades of grey" only exist where something is not clear to you or you are unsure about something. If you see shades of grey, I suggest you take the time to think over the topic and make up your mind about it. 

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Profile   Post #: 279
RE: Prenups - 9/25/2011 6:43:56 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Rarely would I agree with Dev but in this instance I do and, unless you are less bright than I give you credit for, you are being purposely obtuse.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to HeatherMcLeather)
Profile   Post #: 280
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