RE: Question for those who go to play parties

RE: Question for those who go to play parties (Full Version)

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HeatherMcLeather -> RE: Question for those who go to play parties (10/5/2011 4:29:19 PM)
quote: If honor was as big a deal in bdsm as you make it out to be we would all be posting with our real names. We aren't. Case closed. We are. Case closed.

LillyBoPeep -> RE: Question for those who go to play parties (10/6/2011 4:32:39 AM)
people i know in real life know my name, and people i've spoken to here for a period of time know my name. but i'm not going to broadcast it out into space, for random googlers and creepazoids to find. first names are somewhat innocuous, at least i think so. last names are the ones that matter more.

HeatherMcLeather -> RE: Question for those who go to play parties (10/6/2011 6:58:43 AM)
If you post your full name, the Mods will edit it out. They did that to Hanners a while back on her meanings of a names thread. quote: for example my full name full name edited by VideoAdminXi means

SimplyMichael -> RE: Question for those who go to play parties (10/6/2011 8:51:28 AM)
I use my real name and if you know where to look my full name is out there.

LaTigresse -> RE: Question for those who go to play parties (10/6/2011 9:11:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet Organizer of play party wants to insure rules are followed In order to do that, and to protect him from liability, he wants a document signed. If you don't want to sign, you don't have to participate. If you do want to participate, the organizer expects you to sign, with your real name. I just don't see how signing with a phony name is not lying. But like you said, to each their own. Going to BDSM gatherings is not exactly my idea of a good time but if I did, it certainly would not be out of line to ME. I would actually be happy that they were that careful and conscientious. What is blowing MY mind is that people would actually attend an intimate gathering where there would be people so creepy and shady they would not want them knowing their name. Seriously........if I am not comfortable with people knowing my name......I am NOT going to be hanging out with them!!! Especially in that type of situation.

HeatherMcLeather -> RE: Question for those who go to play parties (10/6/2011 12:39:35 PM)
Maybe the other people aren't the creepy and shady ones. I mean, they used their real names.

LadyPact -> RE: Question for those who go to play parties (10/6/2011 12:52:37 PM)
Funny. I don't know Michael's real last name. He might know Mine. It's not really smart for a female top to be involved in public BDSM to reveal their real name. All it takes is one fool to start interrupting someone's real life.

littlewonder -> RE: Question for those who go to play parties (10/6/2011 1:04:46 PM)
I personally would never use my real name because I've had stalkers, information get out to the wrong hands, blabbermouths who couldn't wait to tell someone else all about my life, etc....so signing a document at a play party under an assumed name...yup, I'd do it. When I've attended bdsm parties, dungeons and such I never went there to make friends or to socialize. I went to use their equipment that I didn't have at home and a place where I could make more noise than I could elsewhere. If I wanted to make friends or to socialize I would do it at a gathering without any kind of bdsm and/or sexual connotations but that's how I operate.

NocturnalStalker -> RE: Question for those who go to play parties (10/6/2011 1:29:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather Maybe the other people aren't the creepy and shady ones. I mean, they used their real names. Anybody that named their kid, "Master Doom" should be shot and put on display.

Iamsemisweet -> RE: Question for those who go to play parties (10/6/2011 1:37:27 PM)
If you don't want to tell everyone your name at the event, fine. But when you are signing a waiver or even just that you have read a list of rules, I think it is deceptive and childish not to provide your real name. Those things are for the organizer's legal protection, and they have a right to expect you to do so, if you are going to use their facilities. Or you can stay home. If you have concerns about your privacy, ask who sees the document and whether it will be kept confidential unless there is a good reason.. Hope some organizers of play parties are reading this thread. Now they will know to ask for ID when they ask to have a legal document signed.

LaTigresse -> RE: Question for those who go to play parties (10/6/2011 1:38:10 PM)
I vote for plasticization.

LaTigresse -> RE: Question for those who go to play parties (10/6/2011 1:39:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet Hope some organizers of play parties are reading this thread. Now they will know to ask for ID when they ask to have a legal document signed. All those people that are scared of it better hope I don't organize any events they will be attending cuz I would! Just cuz I am mean like that...[:D]

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Question for those who go to play parties (10/6/2011 1:44:23 PM)
When a friend of mine moved from the area, I had a going-away for him and asked about the invite list. He said, "those people? they aren't my friends. we see them, wwe talk to them, but we don't even know their real names, or what they do for a living". I am pretty much on that page. I don't need to know someone's full name, but if you want to be my FRIEND, yeah, you pretty much have to come clean. How many folks on CM and Fetl are on the Facebook with me? I feel very strongly that outing someone is NOT cool, and it's on each of us to post under our own names, or not. I am cool that everyone knows my name is Francine. Not so cool if any schmoe knows my last name, and can find me in the yellow pages. That's an EW.

LaTigresse -> RE: Question for those who go to play parties (10/6/2011 1:51:23 PM)
My point was that if I was going to an intimate event (intimate in that, there are naked bits and sexual tension, for lack of a better word), especially at someone's home, or having an event in my home.....I would expect that everyone in attendance would either already know each others' full name, or would by the end of the event. Then again, that might just be my environment and how I roll. Around here, as far as I know, random strangers don't show their naked bits, or fuck, publicly....... as a general rule...

OsideGirl -> RE: Question for those who go to play parties (10/6/2011 2:30:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet If you don't want to tell everyone your name at the event, fine. But when you are signing a waiver or even just that you have read a list of rules, I think it is deceptive and childish not to provide your real name. Those things are for the organizer's legal protection, and they have a right to expect you to do so, if you are going to use their facilities. Or you can stay home. If you have concerns about your privacy, ask who sees the document and whether it will be kept confidential unless there is a good reason.. Hope some organizers of play parties are reading this thread. Now they will know to ask for ID when they ask to have a legal document signed. Club X does ask for ID. They also flat out ask you if you are a police officer. They had some issues several years ago where under cover officers entered and arrested several attendees for lewd behavior. All of the cases were thrown out, but they do it to protect themselves and their members.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Question for those who go to play parties (10/6/2011 2:51:58 PM)
Ah, but the police are allowed to lie, so their protection is false. Around here, lots of naked folks using "scene" names. Maybe the folks they are playing with know their names, maybe not.

seekerofslut -> RE: Question for those who go to play parties (10/6/2011 2:56:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus Ah, but the police are allowed to lie, so their protection is false. Read Alan Dershowitz's testimony before the House Judiciary Committee. Quite interesting.

tiggerspoohbear -> RE: Question for those who go to play parties (10/6/2011 3:14:12 PM)
I used to belong to a club in Ottawa. It was mainly a swinging club, but the last Friday of every month was Fet night. They had one incident where a woman came as the guest of a Dom then screamed rape a few days afterwards. The club owners nearly lost their club trying to fight the charges. Took them a few years to re-open. They changed their policy, for obvious reasons. The woman had made a false allegation, was upset with her Dom after a fight and thought it'd be a good idea to go after everybody she could think of. After the main re-open, there were rules and regulations that had to be read and signed. You had to produce ID to make sure you were who you said you were. DM's were very careful of what went on. You couldn't just walk into the club as a stranger, you had to know someone the owners knew. They were trying to protect their livelihood and had every right to after the fiasco that went on. They, and the Dom, were eventually exonerated and she bore the brunt of the countersuits. I had no problems with signing their rules, presenting my ID, it was all kept confidential and was for the owners protection as well as that of others in the club.

SailingBum -> RE: Question for those who go to play parties (10/6/2011 10:01:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: seekerofslut quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus Ah, but the police are allowed to lie, so their protection is false. Read Alan Dershowitz's testimony before the House Judiciary Committee. Quite interesting. Yep I mostly agree with his view of the perjury situation. Alas none of that matter cuz da supremes say cops can lie to a perp but go ahead and lie to a cop and see what happens. Yer best is keep your mouth shut and "lawyer up". BadOne

Rochsub2009 -> RE: Question for those who go to play parties (10/7/2011 6:48:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse My point was that if I was going to an intimate event (intimate in that, there are naked bits and sexual tension, for lack of a better word), especially at someone's home, or having an event in my home.....I would expect that everyone in attendance would either already know each others' full name, or would by the end of the event. That's an interesting opinion. And it's completely contrary to my experience. I've attended events in more than 5 different states in the US, and in 3 countries outside of the US, and I have rarely ever known anyone's real name. Of the literally hundreds (maybe thousands) of kinksters that I've interacted with, I'm sure that I haven't known the full names of over 95% of them. Most people tend to use scene names. And privacy/secrecy seems to be the most important policy of most BDSM groups, so few people ever ask me for my full name, and I don't ask for theirs. Personally, I don't have a scene name. I use my first name when I attend local events. That's what everyone knows me as. But very few of them know my last name. Moreover, I don't know most of their last names. Perhaps I'm different than many of the other people on the board. But not knowing full names is fairly typical in my experience.

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