RE: Assignments, tasks, etc...WHY?

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RE: Assignments, tasks, etc...WHY? - 10/2/2011 6:26:43 PM

DesFIP

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From: Apple County NY
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Because they help him. I proofread his letters. Spell check doesn't differentiate between from and form and he messes that one up every time. I do his banking for him. Which reminds me I need to go to the bank tomorrow. I research stuff.

And sometimes he has me do stuff that's good for me. Plus there's the things that just turn him on and I do them because he enjoys that.

He has a tendency to pick out sexy outfits for me when he's doing some really dirty job. I've never figured that out but if he's up to his eyeballs in cement, that's when he wants to think about me in a short skirt with a red thong.

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Post #: 21

RE: Assignments, tasks, etc...WHY? - 10/2/2011 8:01:16 PM

IrishMist

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quote:

In the beginning - when I was first exploring BDSM in general - I think that having "tasks" to perform was a way for me to explore how I felt with the idea of my submission, without getting too heavy into the deep meaning of things. I look on it now as fun play. Necessary play, for me. I was testing the waters with my feelings about various BDSM activities, not just tasks given in a D/s dynamic.

THIS is what I was hoping for with the question posed. Thank you Kaliko, this helps me understand a bit more the WHY of it.

quote:

When Master gives me assignments it's because he thinks I'm not learning whatever it is he feels I need to learn, to basically grind it into me until a lightbulb goes off in me and I go "duh".

AND...this makes sense

quote:

I always thought tasks were for people who were not doing this in real life most of the time. And were instead playing at mind games while living long distance.

For a time, I too, thought like this. It was KoM and his girls that caused me to change my thinking along those lines.

< Message edited by IrishMist -- 10/2/2011 8:06:19 PM >

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RE: Assignments, tasks, etc...WHY? - 10/2/2011 10:10:51 PM

Endivius

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I do have expectations of things that should allways be done to maintain order the way I want it. Being the bread winner and both of the girls were in college and worked part time, we were all buissy regularly. Nothing I expected them to do was any different than I expected of myself. My expectations of those things were probably different when we first began seeing eachother, and once we began a regular relationship it was completely ordinary. Such as making the bed the way I want it made, turning lights off when not in rooms ect;.

There are certainly times when I have texted them and had them do something kinky related, but it was allways something that we both got out of it. I would never tell a sub to go do something just because I wanted her to do it. It would have a purpose. If it had no purpose it would be a waste of energy on both our parts.

If I were to have a sub write something down, read something, or watch something there would damn sure be a purpose to it. To educate them on a specific topic or to get them to explore something that they had an interest in.

I believe part of the courtship phase of an online interaction may have some success to these "tasks" because it reinforces the idea of a power dynamic, and allows each person to feel eachother's desires out in a neutral setting. But I would imagine they are best done as slow and easy first, working up into more kinky and complex tasks. For example, have a sub write in thier journal every day about something. Then work your way slowly into the kinky stuff. I dunno though I've not tried any of it.

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Post #: 23

RE: Assignments, tasks, etc...WHY? - 10/3/2011 6:38:44 AM

fragilepieces

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Most of the replies I see are just a normal part of every day life and can applied to any relationship---example---when I visit my partner, he will ask me to do things while he is working whether it be organizing a cupboard, cleaning something,or hemming a pair of pants. I don't consider it a task or an assignment. He asks because he wants it done and either has not had the time to do it or just finds that doing that chore is distasteful. He asks me because, I am bored at his house when he is working and I genuinely enjoy doing whatever chore he asks. (Yes I am one of the few that finds cleaning thrilling.) He has asked me to 'research' and find a place I want to go to while visiting, finding cheap rates for when I travel there or he travels to me. Again I don't find anything D/s related to these things and would consider them common place even in a vanilla relationship. I have asked him to do things for me---proof reading something--(another eye always helps) and I would not be opposed to asking him to hang something up in my apartment, put something like a book case or whatever together, moving some heavy piece of furniture if he were at my house. Because he is a Dom I guess me asking him would not make it be an assignment or a task. To me it's the same thing---any relationship is give and take.

I am with Irish on this---I don't get the whole don't wear undies to work type of thing or wear a butt plug to work---but with the vanilla type tasks isn't that just a normal part of any relationship? I suppose one could say they are punished if the task was not completed but--if punishment for not doing it was the purpose---at the end of the day he is the Master so he could punish you just because.

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 24

RE: Assignments, tasks, etc...WHY? - 10/3/2011 7:30:43 AM

agirl

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When I'm told to do *tasks* they are always for ME and they are things I've been procrastinating about or things that I lack motivation to get started on but need,want or ought to do. They are things that are for my benefit. It's a rare thing for him to want me to do anything for him. He just doesn't need me to.

When he tells me to do something with sexual tones to it, it's because it floats his boat and in turn, floats mine overall. They aren't tasks or assignments, they are just part of our wide and varied sex-life when he's not around.

He doesn't NEED to, he LIKES to now and then. Although he's able to fuck, beat, flog, bugger, stick needles in, have me starkers, suck, swallow and bind me anytime he wants, it doesn't render the *when he's not around* stuff less interesting or mind-bogglingly indecipherable.

The short answer is, it's fun and he can, there need be no other reason.

agirl

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RE: Assignments, tasks, etc...WHY? - 10/3/2011 8:30:23 AM

SimplyMichael

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They are given tasks to keep them busy while so the chick doesnt wonder why he ie absent and he hopes that will keep her from figuring out he is married.

Setting aside vanilla life task, tasks can be fun. Ordering someone not to think about being savagely fucked in the ass, knowing full well thats now all they will think about has a certain entertainment value. Sending a woman into an adult store to buy a butt plug, especially if she gets off on humiliation has potential and is pretty safe. Years ago i had a woman record herself fucking her hubby according to instructions i had given her. I was cleanong wnd found a vcr tape and wondered what it was,lol.

(in reply to agirl)

Post #: 26

RE: Assignments, tasks, etc...WHY? - 10/3/2011 9:18:18 AM

LaTigresse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

I have to ask...that horrible curiousity again you know..

Those of you in the dominant position...WHY is it necessary to give your submissives/slaves tasks/assignments, etc?
What purpose does it serve?

I read the answers on here when someone asks about suggestions and all I can think is 'why is this necessary?"

I am not belittling anyone who DOES do this; I just am curious as to WHY you do it.

It confuzzles me, and I don't like being confuzzled.

For ME......I am only interested in having them so what needs to be done, or something I really want done. It has to be useful or to ME....it's simply me serving them by thinking up dumbass shit for kicks.

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Post #: 27

RE: Assignments, tasks, etc...WHY? - 10/3/2011 9:56:47 AM

IrishMist

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quote:

I believe part of the courtship phase of an online interaction may have some success to these "tasks" because it reinforces the idea of a power dynamic

I think this is where I am getting muddled. How can it reinforce the 'idea' of a dynamic?

I mean, if all parties know what they are working towards, how does doing a specific 'task' reinforce a dynamic? The dynamic should already be there, it should not need to be reinforced on a regualar basis.

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Post #: 28

RE: Assignments, tasks, etc...WHY? - 10/3/2011 9:58:03 AM

IrishMist

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quote:

but with the vanilla type tasks isn't that just a normal part of any relationship?

LOL I would have thought so, but obviously, for many, they are not.

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RE: Assignments, tasks, etc...WHY? - 10/3/2011 10:25:59 AM

LadyHibiscus

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In my life, the "fun stuff", like having them go buy tampons (not that I would, my MOM doesnt even bring home the right ones!) is useful because it makes me laugh, and things that make me laugh are good. It is pointless for him to wear a ribbon around his cock all day at work, but it makes me laugh that he sends me a pic of it at lunchtime... and makes him think of me taking it off him later.

That right THIS MINUTE I could use a file clerk is a separate issue. That would be useful, too.

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RE: Assignments, tasks, etc...WHY? - 10/3/2011 10:45:48 AM

fragilepieces

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quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:

but with the vanilla type tasks isn't that just a normal part of any relationship?

LOL I would have thought so, but obviously, for many, they are not.

For me and I guess you too Irish it's obvious---that there just isn't anything special involved in washing somebody's socks or making a bed---cause jesus christ my grandma and my mother did these things and neither of them were submissive. As a matter of fact, if anyone was the Dominant in my parents relationship it was my mom cause she had a louder set of lungs than my dad and she was more than a tad stubborn.

With that said, WHY is it so special---when it's D/s? Is there some mental thing that clicks that gives a submissive pleasure when these mundane tasks are assigned by a Dominant? Is the mundane task made special simply because (s)he asked the submissive to do it? Does it make a submissive feel useful because (s)he has required his/her assistance?

Thanks Irish for making me think today

< Message edited by fragilepieces -- 10/3/2011 10:50:10 AM >

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Post #: 31

RE: Assignments, tasks, etc...WHY? - 10/3/2011 10:49:54 AM

littlewonder

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for me it is submissive because I believe in traditional relationships..man as head of household, the king of his domain so yeah I do all the cleaning and tasks that need to be done, etc..I don't tell him ever what to do, I don't boss him around, I'm not loud or overbearing so for us this is definitely d/s. Why should he have to lift a finger? That's what I'm for. He says jump and I jump.

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Post #: 32

RE: Assignments, tasks, etc...WHY? - 10/3/2011 11:30:58 AM

LaTigresse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:

but with the vanilla type tasks isn't that just a normal part of any relationship?

LOL I would have thought so, but obviously, for many, they are not.

Yes and no. I am used to being self sufficient and doing my own 'stuff'. In most of my life there is, or an attempt of, a fair balance of the work load.

Example: After eating, I don't tell anyone to pick up my dishes and tidy up after me. If someone does it voluntarily I love it, but I don't demand it.

BUT........within a M/s dynamic that would be different. I would expect it.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 33

RE: Assignments, tasks, etc...WHY? - 10/3/2011 12:12:04 PM

experiment2

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as a sub, i felt the tasks were given to continually reinforce control by the Domme. most assignments added or revised some limits i had been allowed to establish. my Dommes goal was to remove as many of my limits as possible through a slow process, breaking down my resistance. it did work and i did not realize it many times. Her only reward for me was to express her pleasure each time i did something new or difficult in my mind to complete. it was amazing how this motivate me. pleasing Her was all that mattered.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 34

RE: Assignments, tasks, etc...WHY? - 10/3/2011 12:14:39 PM

LillyBoPeep

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i actually really enjoy tasks; to me it's a way to illustrate the dynamic.
my late Person would have me help him research things, or do an errand while he was busy elsewhere, or just wear a certain thing because he wanted me to; i like that kind of stuff. i like orders and structure and control.

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RE: Assignments, tasks, etc...WHY? - 10/3/2011 12:21:10 PM

agirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

I have to ask...that horrible curiousity again you know..

Those of you in the dominant position...WHY is it necessary to give your submissives/slaves tasks/assignments, etc?
What purpose does it serve?

I read the answers on here when someone asks about suggestions and all I can think is 'why is this necessary?"

I am not belittling anyone who DOES do this; I just am curious as to WHY you do it.

It confuzzles me, and I don't like being confuzzled.

For ME......I am only interested in having them so what needs to be done, or something I really want done. It has to be useful or to ME....it's simply me serving them by thinking up dumbass shit for kicks.

It's not M serving me by instructing some of the *pointless* stuff. It's done for fun and it's certainly never instigated by me.

You know you're with a sadist when your car blows a head gasket and you're having to cycle everywhere and your Master has a sudden desire to keep your arse sore with cane weals.. He finds that kind of thing amusing.

agirl

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Post #: 36

RE: Assignments, tasks, etc...WHY? - 10/3/2011 12:37:05 PM

kalikshama

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When I was in a LD relationship, he gave me tasks to amuse himself and express dominance. He never lacked for inspiration.

Now, I live with my D, and there aren't really any tasks, unless you count - "Go fetch your nipple clamps" (shiver)

We've divided the household chores into traditional roles and I do not have to be told to do mine. If he needs help with something, I help him,

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 37

RE: Assignments, tasks, etc...WHY? - 10/3/2011 3:20:12 PM

IrishMist

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

i actually really enjoy tasks; to me it's a way to illustrate the dynamic.
my late Person would have me help him research things, or do an errand while he was busy elsewhere, or just wear a certain thing because he wanted me to; i like that kind of stuff. i like orders and structure and control.

I am getting ready to jump on ya here, be warned lol.

You said that for you, it was a way to illustrate the dynamic.
How though?
I mean, obviously, the dynamic was there right? How did doing tasks illustrate or , I guess a better word would be, reinforce it?

It could be that my confusion is coming from a lack of understanding in what kind of tasks we are talking about here. It's obvious that all I have to reference is what I read on here...and most of what I read on here, I just don't get what the purpose is.

The exception to these would be those posters who I have read enough to understand the reasoning behind it; a good example is Agirl...I have read enough about her dynamic on here to have a basic understanding behind the 'tasks'.

Others though...they just plain confuse me and leave me shaking my head with a 'what the fuck' running through.

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Post #: 38

RE: Assignments, tasks, etc...WHY? - 10/3/2011 3:21:48 PM

IrishMist

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quote:

When I was in a LD relationship, he gave me tasks to amuse himself and express dominance

My question on this would be...was his being dominant more pronounced BECAUSE of the tasks?

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Post #: 39

RE: Assignments, tasks, etc...WHY? - 10/3/2011 3:31:11 PM

BKSir

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From: Salt Lake City, UT
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Why? For a couple reasons. Mostly because there's shit that needs done and I'm either too busy to get to it, or just plain don't want to do it (Seriously, I fucking HATE doing dishes... you have no idea...). But occasionally, because I'm having a whim and desire it. Now, in the second case, it's nothing too outlandish or weird, but, if I want my pet to go to the store and fetch me a new skillet, a package of twinkies and some AAA batteries, then I'll have him do so. Chances are good though, that when he gets home, there is a nice cup of tea waiting for him, along with a kiss on the cheek.

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Post #: 40

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