RE: I went to a munch

RE: I went to a munch (Full Version)

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LadyHibiscus -> RE: I went to a munch (10/7/2011 11:18:41 AM)
I like to be able to talk without shouting, and there must be comfy chairs at the very least. I have never been to a munch that good, EVER.

RopePlease -> RE: I went to a munch (10/7/2011 11:37:55 AM)
I enjoy munches. However in NY, the scene is all about who you know and how many people are looking at you, and how BDSM-ish you look. It's very superficial and it's sometimes hard to find decent people to talk to at munches. But if your interested in public play, then you'll find a million people wanting to play as long as they're being watched LOL. all in all, i met more down to earth people at events then munches. and not BDSM events, just events, and there happened to be kinky minded people there.

LadyPact -> RE: I went to a munch (10/7/2011 12:13:38 PM)
Meeting people who want to play? Best way to go as far as I'm concerned. At a munch, I don't have to go through the dancing around of a) is the person kinky and b) are they willing to meet. I already know because of where we are. I can't say that I've ever had a no show from somebody involved in the local group. Definitely the way to get invited to private events and not just meaning the play oriented ones.

RopePlease -> RE: I went to a munch (10/7/2011 12:36:17 PM)
Just wanted to reiterate that i'm talking about MY local community. i can't really speak for others.

StrictlyADomina -> RE: I went to a munch (10/7/2011 9:08:27 PM)
I have been to a couple of different groups munches. It's pretty much like any other club or place of employment, if you look for good people, you'll find them. If all you want to see are twinkies, well you'll find them too. If that club is not exactly what you like interacting with, then go to another. You can live in dream land typing away in your house being a Dom or sub keyboard jockey or you can actually go and see real people who are active in your community.

DeviantlyD -> RE: I went to a munch (10/7/2011 9:39:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather ]oh shut the fuck up, quit your whining. she just made it sound stunningly, mind numbingly boring is all. like a rotary meeting? fuck if that's your cup of tea then join the fucking rotary and do some good in the world. the way she described it hardly seems worth getting off the couch for is all. Boring? I suppose one would see it that way when they fixate on the phrase "rotary meeting". As for everyone else that didn't latch onto only a couple of words, but read her whole post, they saw the words "great fun", "welcoming", "conversation was interesting" and "enjoyed the people".

HannahLynHeather -> RE: I went to a munch (10/7/2011 10:34:44 PM)
[8\|] and i guess one would see it that way when they are so obsessed with the members of my household that they follow us around the boards trying to point out imaginary flaws in anything we post. but hey, not to worry. some might call it childish petty vindictiveness, but i disagree. i think your infatuation and jealousy is cute. and it suits you, you wear it well babe, you wear it fucking well. keep it up sugar buns, it gives your life a semblance of meaning and its always good for a fucking chuckle at our end.

DeviantlyD -> RE: I went to a munch (10/7/2011 11:11:57 PM)
Now there is a feeble evasion tactic. [;)]

HannahLynHeather -> RE: I went to a munch (10/7/2011 11:13:26 PM)
awwwww, isn't she cute.

CynthiaWVirginia -> RE: I'm going to a munch (10/7/2011 11:54:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet A friend of mine and I are going to our first munch this week. A lot of people here suggest going to a munch to meet people in real life, but what are they like? Are they more like a meeting or a cocktail party? What do you wear? We went to our munch last month, my first one, and had a great time. Nice, friendly people. I plan to have us going regularly from now on. For some reason I was leery of going to munches when I didn't know anyone in the group. What did I wear? Comfy clothing, and yeah, I prefer black. [:D]

Rochsub2009 -> RE: I went to a munch (10/8/2011 1:53:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather they are a good way to meet other perverts but that's the extent of their usefulness. But isn't that their primary purpose? Oh wait, I get it. This is a game. Okay, I want to play. Here are my contributions to the game: "Electronics stores are good for buying computers, TV's, and DVD players, but that's the extent of their usefulness". "Refrigerators are good for keeping things cold, but that's the extent of their usefulness". "Tylenol is good for relieving pain, but that's the extent of its usefulness". "Paint is good for changing the color of things, but that's the extent of its usefulness". What a fun game!!! Thanks Hannah! [:D]

Rochsub2009 -> RE: I went to a munch (10/8/2011 2:04:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact The problem with this subject is that somewhere along the line, CM took a turn away from munches, events, etc being positive experiences for people. People who have been out to their local community and didn't like it always have bad things to say about it and people who haven't been rely on the propaganda that they've created in their own head. I agree, LadyPact. It seems like whenever there's a thread about munches and/or play parties, the majority of the negative comments seem to come from people who have never attended one. That makes no sense to me. Personally, I don't enjoy play parties. But that's only my opinion, and it's based on my personal likes and dislikes. I would never try to discourage others from giving play parties a try, even though I don't enjoy them. IMO, people should try things for themselves and formulate their own opinions. Deciding based on the opinions of random strangers on the internet seem rather foolish to me. But it's clear that many people make their decisions that way. They post here routinely. Bottom line: Munches and play parties aren't for everyone. Moreover, every group is different. So the only way to make an informed decision about your local BDSM group is to actually go to one of their events.

OsideGirl -> RE: I went to a munch (10/8/2011 2:05:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009 "Tylenol is good for relieving pain, but that's the extent of its usefulness". Not true! It can also reduce fevers... [:D]

HannahLynHeather -> RE: I went to a munch (10/8/2011 6:08:30 PM)
quote: But isn't that their primary purpose? i don't know, there are some fuckers here who preach them so hard and often that one might begin to think they were the whole fucking point of being kinky. my point was that they aren't even a viable fucking social function, they are a networking tool and nothing more.

HannahLynHeather -> RE: I went to a munch (10/8/2011 6:12:13 PM)
quote: It seems like whenever there's a thread about munches and/or play parties, the majority of the negative comments seem to come from people who have never attended one. and it seems to me that whenever there's a thread about munches and/or play parties, the ones who like them dismiss any negative comments as coming from people who have never attended one. well i've attended a number of both and i think both fucking suck.

SoulAlloy -> RE: I went to a munch (10/8/2011 9:11:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather quote: But isn't that their primary purpose? i don't know, there are some fuckers here who preach them so hard and often that one might begin to think they were the whole fucking point of being kinky. my point was that they aren't even a viable fucking social function, they are a networking tool and nothing more. Not quite sure what you mean by a social function? I've made many friends at munches, and they contribute a long way to why I visit munches, to catch up, it is also one of the main reasons I took over my local group. (The others being that I believe it's an important option to have in your local area, finding out about local events and it's a good way of grounding one from the fantasy in the head). I see one or two mentioning never meeting a partner that way? Don't expect to at a munch, but that is by no means impossible. I know several success stories, and met partners myself this way. Not that it's the only way to meet a partner of course :)

LadyPact -> RE: I went to a munch (10/9/2011 12:01:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009 IMO, people should try things for themselves and formulate their own opinions. Deciding based on the opinions of random strangers on the internet seem rather foolish to me. But it's clear that many people make their decisions that way. They post here routinely. Bottom line: Munches and play parties aren't for everyone. Moreover, every group is different. So the only way to make an informed decision about your local BDSM group is to actually go to one of their events. Yes, I think we're in agreement here. For example, even I would be less inclined to attend a group function in certain locations because of certain things that have been said about one city or another over the years. Some of it is bad press. Some of it is accurate. The only way for Me to really know for Myself is to take the plunge. If I don't, it really boils down to someone else making the decision for Me, isn't it? One based entirely on their own interpretation. I really do rather miss the Upcoming Events area being as active as it used to be. When I first joined up here, a lot of people could connect from that section. It used to be a "hey, who's going and let's meet up" kind of thing. We'd have a great time doing one thing or another and then we'd come back and write "Positive Experience" thread. Unfortunately, it doesn't work like that anymore. Even I've stopped mentioning demos or events that I'm doing. Out of six that I've been affiliated with in the last year, I casually mentioned one and spoke at a medium level of the other. The rest? It's just not worth it. For every person that is encouraged to go, there are ten people who ridicule those who want to try things out or at least meet folks over dinner. It's a sad state of affairs, but it is what it is now around here, isn't it?

SthrnCom4t -> RE: I went to a munch (10/9/2011 1:20:18 AM)
I am not one to go do things by myself, however, I have walked into several munches without knowing anyone face to face. Generally, I would find the local online group, exchange some email, and then I at least would have some connection when I walked in the door. Then, it's just like any other social gathering....you find people you have things in common with (kink is a given) and start making connections. When walking into such a situation, you have to be in 'extrovert' mood. What I mean is, you have to say hi to people you don't know, and sometimes you have to initiate the conversation. I find compliments are good to break the ice. Asking someone how they 'found kink' is another. Also, if you are 'new' <to the area, to the munch, to kink> most people will share their own experiences, if you just act interested. Not everyone will have a good time, with every group......its just how it is. If you don't click with a group, they aren't bad, and neither are you, it's just a lack of compatibility. No whining....move on. We just had a fabulous evening with 16 of our closest friends. All are people we've met over the last three years since going to that first munch. Two of the people were guests, and we met them for the first time tonight. The energy dynamic we enjoy is like a dose of the best health food combination on the planet. When I spend time with these people my spirit is fed. I am truly humbled by the quality of people I call friends. Sometimes it takes time to 'find your tribe.' When it all comes together, the time searching is absolutely worth it!

JstAnotherSub -> RE: I went to a munch (10/9/2011 5:47:49 AM)
quote: Not everyone will have a good time, with every group......its just how it is. If you don't click with a group, they aren't bad, and neither are you, it's just a lack of compatibility. No whining....move on. This. I attended one munch, and the folks were awesome. I didn't go back, just because I didn't find anything in common with any of them, as far as goals related to kink go. I have been thinking about going back lately, because I have wondered if I would find others there who actually do share the same expectations I have, just they were quiet like I was and it will probably take going to several different munches many times to know for sure. Dammit I want instant gratification! My first domly dude fell outa the sky in to my lap, this finding another is work.

SimplyMichael -> RE: I went to a munch (10/9/2011 8:28:45 AM)
Three blind men describing an elephant... My city has about five or eight munches and each one is different. For people new to all this they are a pretty good place to start. I am not that active in my local scene anymore but being involed was a transformative thing for me. I literally met one of the great loves of my life at a munch. Last word if you dont like the munch shut up.and start a newer better one.

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