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I'm going to a munch - 10/4/2011 10:17:58 PM   
Iamsemisweet


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A friend of mine and I are going to our first munch this week. A lot of people here suggest going to a munch to meet people in real life, but what are they like? Are they more like a meeting or a cocktail party? What do you wear?

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RE: I'm going to a munch - 10/4/2011 10:23:45 PM   
Missokyst


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Casual. Most munches are just chat and a meal.
But since some munches have other things going on, it is best to ask the host for a run down.


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pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


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RE: I'm going to a munch - 10/4/2011 10:30:29 PM   
NiceGuyNihilist


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The munches I've been to have all been very casual. I've seen people wearing everything from T-shirt and jeans to semi-formal business attire, and I got the impression that many of those wearing Dockers and collared shirts had just gotten off work and couldn't be bothered to change into anything else. Unless the atmosphere at your munch is completely different from that of any munch I've ever attended, you should be fine as long as you don't wear what you wear to change your oil and mow the lawn.

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RE: I'm going to a munch - 10/4/2011 10:38:28 PM   
MissImmortalPain


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Meeting and a lunch. It's like going on a first date with someone you know you don't have to impress.

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RE: I'm going to a munch - 10/5/2011 2:01:17 AM   
SailingBum


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Toss on that outfit in your pict ohhh and act "normal"

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RE: I'm going to a munch - 10/5/2011 4:08:31 AM   
Aileen1968


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My experience with munches has been that it's a bunch of dysfunctional, out of shape people sitting in a diner or pizza place eating mass quantities of food.

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RE: I'm going to a munch - 10/5/2011 5:16:37 AM   
BurntKitty


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

My experience with munches has been that it's a bunch of dysfunctional, out of shape people sitting in a diner or pizza place eating mass quantities of food.


Dammit, you were at my last family reunion?

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RE: I'm going to a munch - 10/5/2011 6:32:00 AM   
Iamsemisweet


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Sounds awful. I promised my friend it would be an adventure. Maybe we will have to do something else that night.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

My experience with munches has been that it's a bunch of dysfunctional, out of shape people sitting in a diner or pizza place eating mass quantities of food.


_____________________________

Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.
The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
Alice: How do you know I'm mad?
The Cat: You must be. Or you wouldn't have come here.

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RE: I'm going to a munch - 10/5/2011 6:39:39 AM   
LadyPact


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So easily swayed.  

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RE: I'm going to a munch - 10/5/2011 6:41:05 AM   
Iamsemisweet


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So little time.

_____________________________

Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.
The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
Alice: How do you know I'm mad?
The Cat: You must be. Or you wouldn't have come here.

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RE: I'm going to a munch - 10/5/2011 6:42:44 AM   
LadyPact


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Time is what you make of it.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: I'm going to a munch - 10/5/2011 7:22:18 AM   
Iamsemisweet


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Agred. Well, I am sure it will be fun. If not, we can at least play pool. We need to expand our social circle anyway.

< Message edited by Iamsemisweet -- 10/5/2011 7:23:25 AM >


_____________________________

Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.
The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
Alice: How do you know I'm mad?
The Cat: You must be. Or you wouldn't have come here.

(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: I'm going to a munch - 10/5/2011 7:33:42 AM   
OsideGirl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

My experience with munches has been that it's a bunch of dysfunctional, out of shape people sitting in a diner or pizza place eating mass quantities of food.
The LA social used to be about 200 people out for happy hour. Orange County was less people, but same atmosphere. The Friday night coffee social in San Diego is a casual gab fest. I guess it depends on where you are.


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RE: I'm going to a munch - 10/5/2011 9:54:27 AM   
fragilepieces


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

My experience with munches has been that it's a bunch of dysfunctional, out of shape people sitting in a diner or pizza place eating mass quantities of food.
LOL---it sounds sort of like an AA meeting.  

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RE: I'm going to a munch - 10/5/2011 10:03:42 AM   
kalikshama


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It's casual. Black attire is a bit over-represented. My ex and I met some fun people who taught us a lot and invited us to private parties. Hey, John Warren, author of The Loving Dominant, was a guest speaker at one much I attended! This is where I first learned about the concept of "mind fuck."

Your group probably won't suck, but if it does, try another before you give up on the idea.

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RE: I'm going to a munch - 10/5/2011 11:45:25 AM   
Missokyst


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Or anyone elses. Dysfunctional, out of shape people who eat sounds like most of our society. I kind of like that. Perfection would bore me to tears.

quote:

ORIGINAL: BurntKitty


quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

My experience with munches has been that it's a bunch of dysfunctional, out of shape people sitting in a diner or pizza place eating mass quantities of food.


Dammit, you were at my last family reunion?



_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


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RE: I'm going to a munch - 10/5/2011 11:47:54 AM   
Lucylastic


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

Or anyone elses. Dysfunctional, out of shape people who eat sounds like most of our society. I kind of like that. Perfection would bore me to tears.



This



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RE: I'm going to a munch - 10/5/2011 12:08:50 PM   
OsideGirl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

It's casual. Black attire is a bit over-represented.
We used to joke..."I'll be the one in black..."

Master and a group of friends rebelled. They started wearing Hawaiian shirts to the LA and OC socials.


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Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

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RE: I'm going to a munch - 10/5/2011 12:57:04 PM   
Rochsub2009


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IASS,
Go!  Don't let anybody persuade you to do otherwise.  It's important (IMO) that people get off the computer and get involved with real-life kinksters.  The odds of meeting a viable partner increase drastically when you're meeting real, local people, rather than just chatting on-line to strangers who live hundreds (or thousands) of miles away..

The munch should be very casual, so dress appropriately.  Definitely don't wear kinky clothes.  No leather or latex.  It's probably going to be held at a public restaurant with regular folks.  So don't go there wearing anything that will shock the patrons

It's likely just going to be a bunch of people meeting at a diner.  Different groups do things differently.  Some may have a speaker, but most of the munches that I've been to have no formal itinerary.  You can stay as long (or as short) as you'd like.  And you can talk to as many or as few people as you'd like.

Some people complain that nobody talked to them.  But the reality is that it's up to you to talk to people.  Many (most?) of them are going to be newbies just like you.  So be friendly, and talk to as many people as you can.  If you just sit in a corner by yourself, that's your own fault.  Don't complain that the people weren't friendly if you go there and act like a recluse.

Typically, a few board members will be at the munch to represent the group.  The rest of the attendees will probably be newbies like yourself.  The majority of the members don't attend the munches (since they're for newbies).  So don't judge the group based on what you see at the munch.  The group in my city has hundreds of members, but there are usually somewhere between 10-30 people at a munch.  So it is definitely not reflective of the entire group.  I think most cities are probably similar.

In most cities, the munches are used as a screening mechanism.  You can't attend play parties or other events until you've first been to a munch. 

Your goal should be to get into one of the play parties to see the kinksters in action.  To do that, you probably have to go to a munch first, so just bite the bullet and go.  Even if you don't like the people at the munch, take the next step and attend a play party.  You'll see that it's entirely different from the munch.  I'd also suggest that you attend a seminar (if your group hosts seminars).  I've found that seminars have a completely different feel from munches or play parties.  Personally, I prefer seminars.

Once you've attended a munch and a play party, then you can make an informed decision about your local BDSM group.

Good luck!  I hope you have a great time at the munch.

< Message edited by Rochsub2009 -- 10/5/2011 1:47:40 PM >

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RE: I'm going to a munch - 10/5/2011 1:16:45 PM   
heartcream


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

My experience with munches has been that it's a bunch of dysfunctional, out of shape people sitting in a diner or pizza place eating mass quantities of food.

Then the world at large is a munch. No wonder I have almost zero interest in attending one.

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