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Rochsub2009 -> RE: I'm going to a munch (10/5/2011 12:57:04 PM)
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IASS,
Go! Don't let anybody persuade you to do otherwise. It's important (IMO) that people get off the computer and get involved with real-life kinksters. The odds of meeting a viable partner increase drastically when you're meeting real, local people, rather than just chatting on-line to strangers who live hundreds (or thousands) of miles away..
The munch should be very casual, so dress appropriately. Definitely don't wear kinky clothes. No leather or latex. It's probably going to be held at a public restaurant with regular folks. So don't go there wearing anything that will shock the patrons
It's likely just going to be a bunch of people meeting at a diner. Different groups do things differently. Some may have a speaker, but most of the munches that I've been to have no formal itinerary. You can stay as long (or as short) as you'd like. And you can talk to as many or as few people as you'd like.
Some people complain that nobody talked to them. But the reality is that it's up to you to talk to people. Many (most?) of them are going to be newbies just like you. So be friendly, and talk to as many people as you can. If you just sit in a corner by yourself, that's your own fault. Don't complain that the people weren't friendly if you go there and act like a recluse.
Typically, a few board members will be at the munch to represent the group. The rest of the attendees will probably be newbies like yourself. The majority of the members don't attend the munches (since they're for newbies). So don't judge the group based on what you see at the munch. The group in my city has hundreds of members, but there are usually somewhere between 10-30 people at a munch. So it is definitely not reflective of the entire group. I think most cities are probably similar.
In most cities, the munches are used as a screening mechanism. You can't attend play parties or other events until you've first been to a munch.
Your goal should be to get into one of the play parties to see the kinksters in action. To do that, you probably have to go to a munch first, so just bite the bullet and go. Even if you don't like the people at the munch, take the next step and attend a play party. You'll see that it's entirely different from the munch. I'd also suggest that you attend a seminar (if your group hosts seminars). I've found that seminars have a completely different feel from munches or play parties. Personally, I prefer seminars.
Once you've attended a munch and a play party, then you can make an informed decision about your local BDSM group.
Good luck! I hope you have a great time at the munch.
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