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RE: Sex/kink expected within a time frame? - 10/11/2011 5:05:18 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		One of the very few things I like about FL is all their relationship options. It was very sweet when my new D and I changed our profiles to "Dom of..." and "Submissive of..." We're poly, but noted in our profiles that we were involved.

Although I can see where littlewonder is coming from:

quote:

Master has never changed his profile. I never asked him about it, never really cared to be honest. It's still the same way as when I met him. It doesn't bother me at all. I know who he's with, I trust him.


The few seconds of effort it took to update a profile really meant a lot to me.

(in reply to tj444)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Sex/kink expected within a time frame? - 10/11/2011 12:23:56 PM   
MasterofRopes66


Posts: 16
Joined: 9/25/2011
Status: offline 		I haven´t had a special timeframe, since I´m only looking for partners within the BDSM-community, abandoning vanillapartners a long time ago.
The context in which we make contact is in BDSM/kink, so this can start directly in the first planned playmeeting!

Prior to first planned playmeeting there´s always weeks/months of aquaintance by mail/Internet and often a first IRL-meeting done, where no play at all is planned whatsoever.
If first IRL-meeting says OK for both parties we´ve gone home to me or the female directly or planned a separate playmeeting in future.
On that meeting kink/BDSM has always happened. Penetrating sex(my cock meets her pussy) I can do without for months in a new BDSM-relationship if I´d have to for some reason, as long as kink/BDSM is fully functioning...

MP.

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Sex/kink expected within a time frame? - 10/11/2011 12:40:33 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RopePlease

I mostly want to wait because i'd rather have good sex with someone then bad sex...





How are you gonna know if it going to be good sex by waiting????


BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

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We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to RopePlease)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Sex/kink expected within a time frame? - 10/11/2011 2:01:54 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum


quote:

ORIGINAL: RopePlease

I mostly want to wait because i'd rather have good sex with someone then bad sex...





How are you gonna know if it going to be good sex by waiting????


BadOne


Check the basement for pods, I'm agreeing with Badass The Sailorman!! What you get from waiting is anticipation, which is fun and all, but doesnt last. If he or she has no skills, they will not magically acquire them while you were waiting.

So wait, but don't get your hopes up.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



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Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Sex/kink expected within a time frame? - 10/11/2011 2:44:00 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		When i was a sweet young thing - many years ago - i didn't have sex on the first date, or even the second, but after a nasty divorce, and ten years of abstinence, sex is no longer a mystical experience - its a physical , intimate act that brings pleasure. As such, if i am dating someone, and i like them and feel attracted to them sexually and physically, then what the hell? Sex is fun, even when its awkward and inept.

Now ....... trusting someone with my heart and mind is a completely different thing! I'd rather have sex with you than tell you my deepest darkest secrets and let you into my head. To love you and trust you is going to take way more time than when we have sex........ and full out submission even longer.......................

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Sex/kink expected within a time frame? - 10/11/2011 6:38:44 PM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

When i was a sweet young thing - many years ago - i didn't have sex on the first date, or even the second, but after a nasty divorce, and ten years of abstinence, sex is no longer a mystical experience - its a physical , intimate act that brings pleasure. As such, if i am dating someone, and i like them and feel attracted to them sexually and physically, then what the hell? Sex is fun, even when its awkward and inept.

Now ....... trusting someone with my heart and mind is a completely different thing! I'd rather have sex with you than tell you my deepest darkest secrets and let you into my head. To love you and trust you is going to take way more time than when we have sex........ and full out submission even longer.......................


I am going in the exact opposite direction. I had sex much more easily when I was younger. Now, it's much more of an experience of my mind and soul rather than just my body. If I'm having sex, I'm only having sex as someone's submissive. And if I'm someone's submissive, I have A. taken the due time to determine that I want to be his submissive or B. have been so overtaken by him as a person that I am throwing all caution to the wind - a very special man, indeed. I'm having a much harder time now, than when I was younger, being able to have sex just for sex's sake. I have my whole self wrapped up into it.


(in reply to kiwisub12)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Sex/kink expected within a time frame? - 10/13/2011 1:32:39 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko


quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

When i was a sweet young thing - many years ago - i didn't have sex on the first date, or even the second, but after a nasty divorce, and ten years of abstinence, sex is no longer a mystical experience - its a physical , intimate act that brings pleasure. As such, if i am dating someone, and i like them and feel attracted to them sexually and physically, then what the hell? Sex is fun, even when its awkward and inept.

Now ....... trusting someone with my heart and mind is a completely different thing! I'd rather have sex with you than tell you my deepest darkest secrets and let you into my head. To love you and trust you is going to take way more time than when we have sex........ and full out submission even longer.......................


I am going in the exact opposite direction. I had sex much more easily when I was younger. Now, it's much more of an experience of my mind and soul rather than just my body. If I'm having sex, I'm only having sex as someone's submissive. And if I'm someone's submissive, I have A. taken the due time to determine that I want to be his submissive or B. have been so overtaken by him as a person that I am throwing all caution to the wind - a very special man, indeed. I'm having a much harder time now, than when I was younger, being able to have sex just for sex's sake. I have my whole self wrapped up into it.




Isn't B the whole point?

(in reply to Kaliko)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Sex/kink expected within a time frame? - 10/13/2011 2:03:55 PM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		Forty years ago I used sex as a form of highly pleasurable entertainment. I wasn't seeking a relationship and so sex was "just sex" to me, and I was excruciatingly honest about that. Appropriate for that time and place, perhaps.

Now? Sex has to mean something to me. I have to love the person before I have a need to seek that level of intimacy. We have to be good friends as well.

As some know I was married for 20 years to my first dominant. Great sex, absolutely fucking fantastic sex the entire time we were together. But I figured out far too late, he didn't like me. We could not be friends. And of course, I evolved to a place where that was not enough for me.

The man I am with now, we have been best friends since we met. No matter what happens now or in the future we will always be the best of friends. For me and where I am now in life, that trumps everything else.

Soooo...in answer to the question I have to say: "It depends."

Helpful Chatte




_____________________________



(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Sex/kink expected within a time frame? - 10/19/2011 4:07:01 AM   
mons


Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline 		I believe in waiting and if that person wants something fast go to
KFC!  i find many men think becasue i am a dominant i am willing to
just go for it.and whip them!  No waiting is best and when you wait it is better
and you do feel safe! i am on the safe and sane side of this!  Just wait and then have
all of the fun things you waited for ;0)

(in reply to MasterSlaveLA)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Sex/kink expected within a time frame? - 11/23/2011 6:58:17 PM   
sweetkarmen


Posts: 23
Joined: 10/16/2011
Status: offline 		I've enjoyed reading this thread. Yes, it does depend. My longest relationship began as a one night stand, however, we had been acquaintances for about a year prior to our getting together. It was not meant to be a one night stand, I just did not care one way or the other if we ever had sex again.

Well, he did care. He pursued me and the next thing I know, 9 years had passed. I don't know if that would be classified as a one night stand since I knew him for a year.

I vote for waiting. To me, waiting is about you're being comfortable enough with that person to trust him with your mind, body, heart and emotions. We all reach that point at different times and rates so Viva La Difference.

Karmen

< Message edited by sweetkarmen -- 11/23/2011 7:04:28 PM >

(in reply to mons)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Sex/kink expected within a time frame? - 11/23/2011 7:19:31 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		If he didn't fuck me by the second date I was gonna dump his vanilla pussy ass.

_____________________________



(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Sex/kink expected within a time frame? - 11/23/2011 7:20:27 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


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Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Sex/kink expected within a time frame? - 11/23/2011 8:20:08 PM   
stellauk


Posts: 1360
Status: offline 		Intimacy for me is more about two people lying together with two naked souls, sharing the experience, than two people lying together with two naked bodies, sharing the experience.

_____________________________

Usually when you have all the answers for something nobody is interested in listening.

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 73
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