LafayetteLady
Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
quote:
She doesn't want him as a client, good. But to state the client was wrong for having the balls to state exactly what HE wanted for his money is whining.
This goes to what I mean about this whole thread turning into an argument about morals. It implies that the OP made some crass and staggeringly stupid moral point along the lines of "Customers have no right to demand whatever they want, even though they're paying".
The OP actually said this:
quote:
I feel like he ruined his own sessions by always wanting to be in control and never allowing me to take the reins. What do you think?
Screw the moral argument - the points are obvious and no-one will ever take any notice of anyone else's moral conclusions anyway. It's a waste of time.
Actually, it isn't really a moral question at all. From my perspective, there are two different points here. First and most important, the OP was stating that she thought she knew what he would enjoy more and what would be "best" for him. She is not his therapist, and I always find it very presumptious when any dominant, paid or not, takes the position that they "know" what is best better than the other person. Especially when there isn't an ongoing relationship. Too many dominants seem to have equated themselves with having the knowledge and skills to act as a type of therapist/life coach.
Second, what she thinks of his sessions doesn't matter. As so many others have said, as long as his "script" contains nothing not on her "menu" of activities, he pays, she performs. It really is as simple as that. If he found it unenjoyable, he wouldn't return. If it gets to a point where you really don't want to have him as a client, regardless of the reason, you end the business relationship. You don't try to justify it.
quote:
What I would *love* to have seen, instead, is a discussion of how a pro-Domme, especially, would deal with the psychology of the OP's dilemma. For me, as a sub, I'd have difficulty squaring the idea of a) paying for a service yet b) nonetheless only being able to get off on the feeling of being controlled and of her having power over me. Yet, plainly, plenty of subs *can* square that, somehow, otherwise pro-Dommes would never have any customers.
Much like the OP, what you want to see on a post is as unimportant as what she feels about a client wanting in a session.
However, it really isn't as complicated as you are making it out to be. The pro-domme doesn't have to deal with the pyschology of her client's issues. It is not her job, nor is she qualified to do so.
The reality is that for the most part, the client wants nothing more than the ILLUSION of being dominated. We all know it isn't "real" domination, but rather roleplaying. Yes, there are those that use a pro and are really, for whatever reason, a sub who doesn't have a D/s relationship and needs to give up that control. But for the most part, it's nothing more than a game, a little "scene" where the client wants to live out his fantasy, he doesn't really want to give up control. He wants to gain sexual satisfaction from the activities.
quote:
But what happens if a customer is so demanding of such a tight 'script' that it seems impossible that he can feel under the pro-Domme's control in any way at all? What enjoyment can he get? Are there subs who are consciously and happily 'do-me' types? Most of all - the biggest question for me - would all subs enjoy themselves more if they were to give up their 'do-me' attitude at least a bit and relinquish more control to the Domme?
I dislike the term as much as everyone else, but the client isn't necessarily a "true" sub, merely someone who enjoys the activities from time to time. Certainly in the case the OP describes, he has no need to really feel under her control at all. What he needs are his kinks met, and she is the fetish delivery system for those kinks. She doesn't want to be that, she can tell him that she isn't "that kind" of pro domme.
The main "issue" everyone had was the OP trying to come across as legitimately being in the position to decide what is best for her client. She isn't.
|
RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 
Profile
I accepted them as they were, and if I didn't like their script, I refused. I didn't agree to see them and THEN complain about their script. 
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread