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RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/13/2011 10:07:25 PM   
Hisprettybaby


Posts: 781
Joined: 4/13/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline 		I agree that there is no one "more important" or "less important" reason to be on here. I'm on CM mostly for the Message Boards and friends, but also because I'm half-assed looking for a sub. By half-assed, I mean yeah, I'm looking, but no, it's not life and death that I find him right now. The right one will happen along when it's meant to be.

~Hisprettybaby~

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 201
RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/13/2011 10:07:44 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Fast reply.....

If you're in a city of at least 100,000 people and *can't* find a flipping pro......

Just dayum.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 202
RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/13/2011 10:14:42 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

With all due respect, that was not the original post.


Since I'm really not sure exactly which comment you are referring to...

I answered the OP in my first response. Much in the same way you did, I might add. Additional comments were in response the the comments made by the OP as she dug herself a deeper whole in an attempt to explain herself after not getting a pat on the head and a, "you poor thing having to put up with being treated like a fetish delivery system."

If it is in regards to curiouspuppy's comments about not wanting to wade through all the pro's profiles to find someone looking for a relationship, well, you are right. It isn't part of the OP's post, but a comment about pro's in general, that I happen to think is valid. I would be very frustrated if I had to wade through all the male profiles including the subs when only looking for the doms.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 203
RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/13/2011 10:24:33 PM   
CuriousPuppy


Posts: 120
Joined: 6/20/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Fast reply.....

If you're in a city of at least 100,000 people and *can't* find a flipping pro......

Just dayum.



Agreed, I live in the miami/broward/palm beach ("south florida") sprawl of population and have the profiles of dozens from  clueless "pro's" hidden, I started doing it because of the frequency of searching for everyone up to  50-250 miles* and getting pages of nothing but pro's & "camwhores" for hire blocking the profiles of anyone else from showing. Someone new to the site would have to do the same if they did not simply give up assuming the site was a waste of time and mostly just advertisements first.

* Florida's  population spread is odd compared to most states, almost all of it is a stone's throw from the highway especially the south-central area that would cover.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 204
RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/13/2011 10:25:01 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady
Since I'm really not sure exactly which comment you are referring to...

I answered the OP in my first response. Much in the same way you did, I might add. Additional comments were in response the the comments made by the OP as she dug herself a deeper whole in an attempt to explain herself after not getting a pat on the head and a, "you poor thing having to put up with being treated like a fetish delivery system."

If it is in regards to curiouspuppy's comments about not wanting to wade through all the pro's profiles to find someone looking for a relationship, well, you are right. It isn't part of the OP's post, but a comment about pro's in general, that I happen to think is valid. I would be very frustrated if I had to wade through all the male profiles including the subs when only looking for the doms.

So, we are at least in agreement in that the thread drifted, yes?

Personally, I'm still on the side of the client.  The following whining from the OP about "boo hoo" she cared about him and the rest of the crud that she posted to sway opinions, didn't phase Me.  If she really cared about the guy getting bang for his buck, she'd have referred him to a more qualified pro. 

See, I wouldn't be frustrated over profiles here.  I just go to the local community to bypass all of that. 


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 205
RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/13/2011 10:30:22 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CuriousPuppy
Agreed, I live in the miami/broward/palm beach ("south florida") sprawl of population and have the profiles of dozens from  clueless "pro's" hidden, I started doing it because of the frequency of searching for everyone up to  50-250 miles* and getting pages of nothing but pro's & "camwhores" for hire blocking the profiles of anyone else from showing. Someone new to the site would have to do the same if they did not simply give up assuming the site was a waste of time and mostly just advertisements first.

* Florida's  population spread is odd compared to most states, almost all of it is a stone's throw from the highway especially the south-central area that would cover.


Florida?  Give Me a break.  If you need a professional Dominant, I can reference you at least a half a dozen within the mileage that you stated above.  People I've met in person.  Some of whom actually used to post here. 


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to CuriousPuppy)
Profile   Post #: 206
RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/13/2011 10:40:40 PM   
CuriousPuppy


Posts: 120
Joined: 6/20/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: CuriousPuppy
Agreed, I live in the miami/broward/palm beach ("south florida") sprawl of population and have the profiles of dozens from  clueless "pro's" hidden, I started doing it because of the frequency of searching for everyone up to  50-250 miles* and getting pages of nothing but pro's & "camwhores" for hire blocking the profiles of anyone else from showing. Someone new to the site would have to do the same if they did not simply give up assuming the site was a waste of time and mostly just advertisements first.

* Florida's  population spread is odd compared to most states, almost all of it is a stone's throw from the highway especially the south-central area that would cover.


Florida?  Give Me a break.  If you need a professional Dominant, I can reference you at least a half a dozen within the mileage that you stated above.  People I've met in person.  Some of whom actually used to post here. 


there has been plenty of people pointing out reading comprehension troubles for folks who were having them in this thread... I'm going to join in with them here... I personally would like to filter them out, maybe my calling them clutter and pointing out they were crowding out profiles from people looking for something other than a paycheck, or that I have dozens of their profiles hidden was not obvious enough.  But if they are going to add an option to filter the out, they might as well make it so people can filter specifically for their "important" services for those looking for them specifically at the same time since it would just be a WHERE Pro="yes/no" added to the sql query once the pro status is added for tracking purposes if the options are used in the search

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 207
RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/13/2011 10:57:14 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		How about equality?

Can I filter out people cheating on their spouses?

Folks who don't participate in the local community?

People with less than five years of BDSM experience?

You went through the effort to hide dozens of profiles?  Come on, man.  It's too late at night to make Me laugh.  I did that in the last month.




_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to CuriousPuppy)
Profile   Post #: 208
RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/13/2011 11:05:18 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		<Balancing one hand to the other.>

My personal opinion is that it would be more honest to call someone a pro service top.  However, the more recognized title is "pro domme".  Whole other thread.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to HannahLynHeather)
Profile   Post #: 209
RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/13/2011 11:16:53 PM   
Endivius


Posts: 1238
Joined: 8/22/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssScarlet

His answer was that because he was paying for it, he should get what he wanted. I feel like he ruined his own sessions by always wanting to be in control and never allowing me to take the reins. What do you think?
Mistress Scarlet


Speaking from a totally neutral perspective here:

If you don't get what you paid for what do you do? You complain about it until you get what you wanted, that's what you do. It's what every single person everywhere in the world does when they pay for a service or goods and don't get what they paid for.

So in a sense, yes he was ruining his own fantasy by interfering with the dynamic, and yes you have a valid point about him topping from the bottom. What you are missing however, is that as the provider of the service, it is up to you to meet the expectations of the customer. He paid for something, and regardless of whether or not you are comfortable with his fantasy, that is what he paid for.

Now obviously you stopped seeing him; and realistically, that is exactly what should have happened. You were not satisfied with his expectations and he was not satisfied with the way his fetish was being delivered. You lose the client, and he goes elsewhere to get his jollies. There is no right and wrong here, you just weren't good for eachother. Everything else is inconsequential.

As a pro-anything, you are morally and most times legally obligated; once you take money for a service; to meet the expectations of a customer, regardless of whether or not you like the customer or the customer's expectations. It's a judgement call you make before money changes hands. If things go sour, you give him his money back and send him packing. It's what everyone does everywhere in the world, be you a prodomme or a fast food cook.



Edit to add :

I have no contempt or joy for prostitution, it doesn't affect me either way. If you do it and it pays your bills and you are comfortable doing it, have at it. As for being a ProDomme, I consider any sexual activity paid or traded for to be prostitution. That's just my personal opinion, and it doesn't affect my opinion of Dommes in any way. If you want to cover yourself in peanut butter and jerk off to show tunes, you're just as odd to me as everyone else.

< Message edited by Endivius -- 10/13/2011 11:22:56 PM >

_____________________________

Basically if you can't inspire someone to trust you deeply, you aren't going to be able to buy that or a reasonable facsimile thereof. -DesFIP

(in reply to MstrssScarlet)
Profile   Post #: 210
RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/13/2011 11:21:09 PM   
CuriousPuppy


Posts: 120
Joined: 6/20/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather

and i want to filter out the fucking twits who think that the pay-tops would bother listing themselves as pros if they knew people might be filtering them out. as we've seen from the ones whop posted on this thread, they aren't too fucking cool with honesty.

report user>profile gets checked & ban/deleted/iblocked or whatever they do with phishers & such. They might not do it at first, but eventually they will realize they need to follow the rules.

LadyPact I'm not sure your points really deserve addressing given how many times you tried to pretend I was saying it was hard for me to find pro doms despite the number of things I said duggesting  desire to fliter them out specifically.  filtering based on marital/relationship status and the other stuff you mention are wildly offtopic and noteven slightly related to the thread where a pro was complaining her client treated their business relationship like one instead of the personal relationship she wanted him to treat it as even though sge she no interest in having one. filtering for/against pro dom's only even came up when the OP started whining about  the important role they play.  I feel that addressing them would only result in something even more ridiculous or another round of creative reading interpretation.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 211
RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/13/2011 11:34:04 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		<Edited.  Honestly not worth it.>

I wish you a good evening.


< Message edited by LadyPact -- 10/13/2011 11:37:28 PM >

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to CuriousPuppy)
Profile   Post #: 212
RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/14/2011 1:09:17 AM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather

and i want to filter out the fucking twits who think that the pay-tops would bother listing themselves as pros if they knew people might be filtering them out. as we've seen from the ones whop posted on this thread, they aren't too fucking cool with honesty.


I have to admit, up until you pointed this out, I was thinking that perhaps a check box might be helpful. As I said, I like not having to look at both dom AND sub men, so it was making sense.

As you say though, since so many really aren't being up front about what they are doing, it probably wouldn't help much.

But at the same time, I consider the other side more of a kinky dating site so the pros who are looking for work really don't fit in. They have plenty of room in the "Services Offered" section and it is a little like free advertising.

(in reply to HannahLynHeather)
Profile   Post #: 213
RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/14/2011 3:17:19 AM   
DarthVaderOfLove


Posts: 95
Joined: 7/17/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LanceHughes

quote:

ORIGINAL: JanahX

Shit its your deal ... you get to pick who you want in and OUT of your sessions. This includes answering the phone / mail / and door. Pretty easy.
and also a reason to hang this in your session room.





That sign is missing the last line, namely:

or who you THINK your Daddy is.

good one.

(in reply to LanceHughes)
Profile   Post #: 214
RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/14/2011 3:23:49 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

That's the crux of the matter isn't it? You don't like your friends being called prostitutes. Oh well, then I guess it sucks to be you, because that is what they are.


I'd be *really* surprised if that bothers Lucy in any way at all. It doesn't remotely mesh with what I know of her and her world-view.


quote:


She doesn't want him as a client, good. But to state the client was wrong for having the balls to state exactly what HE wanted for his money is whining.x


This goes to what I mean about this whole thread turning into an argument about morals. It implies that the OP made some crass and staggeringly stupid moral point along the lines of "Customers have no right to demand whatever they want, even though they're paying".

The OP actually said this:
quote:

I feel like he ruined his own sessions by always wanting to be in control and never allowing me to take the reins. What do you think?


Screw the moral argument - the points are obvious and no-one will ever take any notice of anyone else's moral conclusions anyway. It's a waste of time.

What I would *love* to have seen, instead, is a discussion of how a pro-Domme, especially, would deal with the psychology of the OP's dilemma. For me, as a sub, I'd have difficulty squaring the idea of a) paying for a service yet b) nonetheless only being able to get off on the feeling of being controlled and of her having power over me. Yet, plainly, plenty of subs *can* square that, somehow, otherwise pro-Dommes would never have any customers.

But what happens if a customer is so demanding of such a tight 'script' that it seems impossible that he can feel under the pro-Domme's control in any way at all? What enjoyment can he get? Are there subs who are consciously and happily 'do-me' types? Most of all - the biggest question for me - would all subs enjoy themselves more if they were to give up their 'do-me' attitude at least a bit and relinquish more control to the Domme?

I don't know this stuff. I've little experience of domination, and none at all of the pro-Domme/customer world. I'd so much appreciate it if those with more experience were to shed some light on it.


_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 215
RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/14/2011 3:43:28 AM   
DarthVaderOfLove


Posts: 95
Joined: 7/17/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather

quote:

I've called it exactly what it is.
yea right, and my "friends" made contributions to my fucking college fund. yea, yea, that's it, that's the ticket, my college fund.

tribute! sweet mother of christ's well fucked ass. tribute! and i suppose what you did was "physical therapy" too eh.





No shit. By now every stripper I ever knew is either practicing medicine, designing rockets or digging up dinosaurs somewhere. Sure. And all the coke was just to help them study for finials.

And tribute...I always thought that was kind of a delusional term. It's like at the giggle factory...people with money are "eccentric" and people without it are "bat shit fucking crazy". I'm not falling for the doublespeak. Tribute...I picture Julius freakin' Caesar whipping somebody's ass or something. "I'm gonna cross that fucking Rubicon, you dirty little Brute."

(in reply to HannahLynHeather)
Profile   Post #: 216
RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/14/2011 5:33:00 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

Agreed, I live in the miami/broward/palm beach ("south florida") sprawl of population


I can't tell if you are looking for a pro or to filter them out, but try:

http://commandperformance.net/ - a local dungeon, for pros
http://www.sfmunch.com/SFmunch_Calendar.html - calendar of local events

(in reply to CuriousPuppy)
Profile   Post #: 217
RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/14/2011 6:12:12 AM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CuriousPuppy


report user>profile gets checked & ban/deleted/iblocked or whatever they do with phishers & such. They might not do it at first, but eventually they will realize they need to follow the rules.




This idea has been around forever and it sounds logical until you understand Hannah's point that hardly anyone would check off the little box notating that they were pro,  because that would automatically mean that no one would read their profiles. If it IS a business venture then the pros want to be in business.

Having others report them as pros is also a bad idea. Lets say I didn't like your profile, well....I just reported you as a pro so the profile won't around anymore and bother me. Lots of women get rudeness from guys that they reject on sites like this, how many of those disgruntled suitors will scream fake and report the woman for being a pro in retaliation for not automatically accepting their offers? Something along the lines of "well she MUST be a fake and a pro because she didn't want to meet me for coffee when I asked her how big her tits were."

Your system requires honesty, do you really believe that everyone in a huge group of people that you don't know is honest? If they aren't all honest how is the staff of a site like this supposed to tell which person is telling the truth....the reporter or the one with the profile? As far as numbers go, this site is huge, much bigger than you think, how many personnel would there have to be just to monitor these types of arguments where someone reports falsely? We use this site free for now, how long before the additional load on the system meant wages would have to be paid and therefore members charged?

(in reply to CuriousPuppy)
Profile   Post #: 218
RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/14/2011 6:33:56 AM   
HannahLynHeather


Posts: 2950
Joined: 4/4/2011
From: where it's at
Status: offline
quote:


My personal opinion is that it would be more honest to call someone a pro service top. However, the more recognized title is "pro domme". Whole other thread.
there's no need for a fucking thread to discuss it; he pays, they top. i'll call the fuckers "pro dommes" when they call hookers "pro girlfriends".  until then, they're fucking pay-tops. "pay service top" is too clumsy, though "pst" works, that's honest and fucking catchy, maybe i'll use that as well.


_____________________________

clique? i don't need no stinking clique!

fuck a duck ~w. disney

My Twitter: http://twitter.com/HannahFuck

i hope you enjoyed the post, and as always my friends....have a nice day

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 219
RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/14/2011 6:40:39 AM   
HannahLynHeather


Posts: 2950
Joined: 4/4/2011
From: where it's at
Status: offline
quote:

report user>profile gets checked & ban/deleted/iblocked or whatever they do with phishers & such. They might not do it at first, but eventually they will realize they need to follow the rules.
yea right, and i'm the fucking queen of scotland. you run with that fantasy chucky, enjoy, but don't come whining to us when reality bites your fucking balls off.

_____________________________

clique? i don't need no stinking clique!

fuck a duck ~w. disney

My Twitter: http://twitter.com/HannahFuck

i hope you enjoyed the post, and as always my friends....have a nice day

(in reply to CuriousPuppy)
Profile   Post #: 220
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