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RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/13/2011 6:21:57 AM

VideoAdminAlpha

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OK for 3 pages this has been off topic to one poster, who will no longer be participating. Please get back on topic,.

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You can't please all the people all of the time.Unfortunately there are times you cannot please any of them :( You can only do your best, and hope they realize that.

(in reply to NocturnalStalker)

Post #: 141

RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/13/2011 6:28:06 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

Personally, I am of the mind that once you agree to accept payment/tribute/whatever, you become a vendor, and therefore should be providing THE SERVICE required by your client (barring things outside of your 'contract').

Besides.. how are you to know that the clients laundry list isnt EXACTLY what he wants? As someone suggested, why not sit down and say "hey, I think I could make this a better experience for you.. here are my ideas".. but ultimately, it is about the CLIENTS wants/needs/desires.

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Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
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(in reply to VideoAdminAlpha)

Post #: 142

RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/13/2011 6:39:55 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
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quote:

Interesting the number of people making claims about what Pro Dommes are and do when by their own admission they have no experience of being one.

Here's the original premise:

quote:

When this particular sub contacted me again I told him outright that I would never see him again because he was too controlling. His answer was that because he was paying for it, he should get what he wanted. I feel like he ruined his own sessions by always wanting to be in control and never allowing me to take the reins. What do you think?

Many disagreed.

The OP disagreed back.

You don't need to have Pro Dommed to discuss customer service.

(in reply to MistressJulia1)

Post #: 143

RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/13/2011 7:46:40 AM

Iamsemisweet

Posts: 3651
Joined: 4/9/2011
From: The Great Northwest, USA
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Scarlet, i don't know why you have a problem with being considered a sex worker, but that is what you were.
I don't know much about the sex trade, but I know a lot about selling services. The customer IS always right, unless he isn't. Meaning if you are taking his money, you do what he says, as long as you aren't endangering yourself physically or professionally. If you don't want him as a client, you have every right to get rid of him. In fact, one of the first ways to be successful as a service provider is to carefully screen your clients.
What I found interesting is that you felt the need to tell him all this now. It doesn't sound like you are going back into the pro domme business, why wouldn't it have been just as easy to say that you wouldn't work with him in the future because of your health? Why provoke a confrontation now?

_____________________________

Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.
The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
Alice: How do you know I'm mad?
The Cat: You must be. Or you wouldn't have come here.

(in reply to MistressJulia1)

Post #: 144

RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/13/2011 8:29:32 AM

CeriseNin

Posts: 286
Joined: 4/8/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Hisprettybaby

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssScarlet
When this particular sub contacted me again I told him outright that I would never see him again because he was too controlling. His answer was that because he was paying for it, he should get what he wanted. I feel like he ruined his own sessions by always wanting to be in control and never allowing me to take the reins. What do you think?
Mistress Scarlet

First, I want to say I am not against ProDommes. The Pros fill a definite need. Supply & demand, without the demand there would be no supply. However you slice it, whatever you want to call it, the Pro is being paid to provide a service...the service of fulfilling someone's ultimate fantasy. That is what the customer is paying for. If he is paying for it, he should get it. If the Pro can't provide that for the customer she should be honest about that. For instance, if he wants actual sex and she doesn't provide that, she should tell him to go somewhere else. At the same time, if she does take on a customer, he is the one paying her and it shouldn't about her fun and satisifaction, it is about his. ProDomming is not about a personal D/s relationship and mutual satisfaction, it is a business transaction and that's all it is. Or am I wrong? I'm thinking that, even the Dommes who do both ProDomming & D/s in their personal lives, know the difference. No matter what the illusion is, a Pro really is service Topping and the customer should be able to say what he wants and get it. IMO

~Hisprettybaby~.

This sums up my opinion pretty well, especially the part in bold. If I pay for menu items a, b, and c, but get a, y, r - I'm going to be pissed off because I don't like being ripped off.

(in reply to Hisprettybaby)

Post #: 145

RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/13/2011 10:46:46 AM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressJulia1

Interesting the number of people making claims about what Pro Dommes are and do when by their own admission they have no experience of being one.

Ya know I have zero experience in pick a skill carpenter, accountant, doctor, but I have a good concept of what they do. Furthermore there is a certification process that you must go thorough to have that title which is more than you can say for your profession.

Aside from that the generic "we" are doms and know how to take control of a situation. Yes I have been approached to be paid for those types of services. I refused.

Do you really think it's rocket science slap someone or call them names and grovel???

BadOne

< Message edited by SailingBum -- 10/13/2011 10:52:42 AM >

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

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We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to MistressJulia1)

Post #: 146

RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/13/2011 10:57:19 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
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Hey, what's up with the fire truck?

(in reply to SailingBum)

Post #: 147

RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/13/2011 11:06:51 AM

HeatherMcLeather

Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
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He's a fireman.

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 148

RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/13/2011 11:07:38 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
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Where there's Pro Dommes, there's fire.

Keep a boob for christ!!!!

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(in reply to HeatherMcLeather)

Post #: 149

RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/13/2011 11:33:46 AM

MissKittyDeVine

Posts: 1054
Joined: 9/24/2011
Status: offline

For those so against ProDommes, consider your own profession. Would you work for free? No, of course you wouldn´t. We all have bills to pay and a living to make. This is not a competition to prove anyone´s more genuinely fetish/BDSM than another person. IMO being a ProDomme does not make me any less genuine than a lifestyler. Different strokes for different folks (pun intentional). I don´t look down on someone who does it for the thrills, so why look down on those of us who choose to make our living this way? There´s room for everyone in this scene. We´re all looking for a match, so if you don´t want to pay for a session, all you have to do is move along and try to find a fellow lifestyler who´s a good match.

This is not a discussion, it´s a bitchfest. And comments like ´Do you really think it's rocket science slap someone or call them names and grovel???´ show the ignorance of what ProDommes (and pro stands for professional, not prostitute, enough of the pathetic insults) put into planning and carrying out sessions.

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 150

RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/13/2011 11:40:21 AM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather

He's a fireman.

Actually I'm not two of my brothers are. One is chief of dept the other is a driver. I liked the pict so I posted it.

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to HeatherMcLeather)

Post #: 151

RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/13/2011 11:59:12 AM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissKittyDeVine

This is not a discussion, it´s a bitchfest. And comments like ´Do you really think it's rocket science slap someone or call them names and grovel???´ show the ignorance of what ProDommes (and pro stands for professional, not prostitute, enough of the pathetic insults) put into planning and carrying out sessions.

Well I see you took my statement out of context. If you read my entire response you would have noticed she was implying that because "we" did not have any experience being a pro dom "we" have no clue. My point is I have more years than I care to count being a dom. The fact that I don't charge for it has no bearing on my ability to perform as one. It's a real simple concept to understand.

The point being "anyone" can "self proclaim" they are a pro dom. Personally I had to go through 4 years of collage and tens of thousands of dollars to work in my profession.

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to MissKittyDeVine)

Post #: 152

RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/13/2011 12:00:42 PM

HeatherMcLeather

Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
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Oh, I got the impression you were from a thread you started a while ago about a documentary about Detroit firemen. The way you worded it made it sound like you were involved in it so I just jumped to the conclusion that you were a fireman, I even had you pegged as being part of the water rescue unit. I hope whatever you do do is at least close to as exciting and romantic as what I imagined for you..

(in reply to SailingBum)

Post #: 153

RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/13/2011 12:10:15 PM

HeatherMcLeather

Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline

quote:

IMO being a ProDomme does not make me any less genuine than a lifestyler.

Nor does it make you any less a part of the sex trade than Hanners was. Hanners has nothing against prostitutes, nor do most of the people who posted on this thread, our problem is with the disconnect displayed by the "ProDommes" <I prefer Hanners' term Top-for-Hire> in insisting they aren't sex workers, that what they do really is domination, rather than service topping for pay.

The fact is that what you do for a living is trade sexual services for money, and that fits every definition I have ever read of the word "prostitution", so I wouldn't be so certain about that whole "Pro stands for Professional" thing.

(in reply to MissKittyDeVine)

Post #: 154

RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/13/2011 12:11:57 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

For those so against ProDommes, consider your own profession.

I don't see anti pro Domme attitudes here, I see anti pro Domme BS here.

I'm not anti prostitution - I think it should be legalized - and do see distinctions between pro domming and prostition, but also see both as being in the same ballpark, you know, the whole sexual fantasy fulfillment thing and all.

I see a lot of misconceptions in your post and am sure someone like LafeyetteLady will be along to set you straight point by point.

(in reply to MissKittyDeVine)

Post #: 155

RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/13/2011 12:12:22 PM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather

Oh, I got the impression you were from a thread you started a while ago about a documentary about Detroit firemen. The way you worded it made it sound like you were involved in it so I just jumped to the conclusion that you were a fireman, I even had you pegged as being part of the water rescue unit. I hope whatever you do do is at least close to as exciting and romantic as what I imagined for you..

I should have been clearer. The documentary is about DFD in general and my brothers "unit" in particular. This is the thread Heather is referring to http://www.collarchat.com/m_3805594/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#3809697

BadOne

< Message edited by SailingBum -- 10/13/2011 12:14:52 PM >

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to HeatherMcLeather)

Post #: 156

RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/13/2011 12:52:52 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

show the ignorance of what ProDommes (and pro stands for professional, not prostitute, enough of the pathetic insults) put into planning and carrying out sessions

I was in the not-prostitution camp until ResidentSadist convinced me otherwise. (Again, I am not anti-prostitution.) I can't find that thread, but did find this:

quote:

If the pro dom’s behavior includes sexual contact or the direct acceptance of a fee, the club owner can be charged with pimping or pandering and the dominatrix with prostitution. These same charges can be filed against individuals who host BDSM parties in their homes if there is sex activity at the party and guests are required to pay an entrance fee. In all states but Nevada prostitution is illegal, with most states limiting the definition to the exchange of sex for a fee. In some states (like Arizona), laws related to prostitution include sadomasochistic acts and in others (like California) sexual contact must be made to be charged. Under California’s law, paid BDSM that includes only humiliation, physical punishment, and/or violent acts would not constitute prostitution even though those acts are for the purpose of sexual gratification.

So in the US, whether or not pro Domming is prostitution depends on the jurisdiction. I see you list yourself as a "Professional online Domme." I'm not familiar with the laws in Spain, but I imagine you have nothing to worry about.

(in reply to MissKittyDeVine)

Post #: 157

RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/13/2011 12:53:02 PM

CuriousPuppy

Posts: 120
Joined: 6/20/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissKittyDeVine

For those so against ProDommes, consider your own profession. Would you work for free? No, of course you wouldn´t. We all have bills to pay and a living to make. This is not a competition to prove anyone´s more genuinely fetish/BDSM than another person. IMO being a ProDomme does not make me any less genuine than a lifestyler. Different strokes for different folks (pun intentional). I don´t look down on someone who does it for the thrills, so why look down on those of us who choose to make our living this way? There´s room for everyone in this scene. We´re all looking for a match, so if you don´t want to pay for a session, all you have to do is move along and try to find a fellow lifestyler who´s a good match.

This is not a discussion, it´s a bitchfest. And comments like ´Do you really think it's rocket science slap someone or call them names and grovel???´ show the ignorance of what ProDommes (and pro stands for professional, not prostitute, enough of the pathetic insults) put into planning and carrying out sessions.

This has been an interesting thread to read through so far, usually a sub complains about all the improperly placed business advertisements cluttering up the profiles rather than paying ads where they should be only to have a bunch of people give them shit for not being a "real submissive" or needing an attitude adjustment. But seeing you bring up the "in your profession" card, I feel the need to comment.

In my profession, and most professions in fact... people do not go around trying to place advertisements & resumes in profiles instead of profiles then throw hissy fits if people call them on the miscatagoprized advertisements. If someone mentions in their profile thyat they are a doctor/contractor/whatever and a person asked if they would be interested in going out for coffee/lunch/etc only to get a reply back about their hourly rates or how to schedule an "appointment", they would likely be rather fucking confused and annoyed by the time they wasted thinking they were getting to know the person. when a pro "dom" does it people think there is nothing wrong with it. If I were to post my resume here, as if looking for a job. I would fully expect to see the profile deleted once it got noticed, just as I wish the pro "dom" advertisements would too.

I really wish collarme would give a simple filter checkbox for the pro "dom" advertisements like they have for pictures and such instead of cluttering the profiles with free advertising. If you are taking money in exchange for a service, you are the employee. If you are going out for lunch or something to meet someone or pass time in an amusing manner, you are not an employee and are free to not think of yourself as their employee.

(in reply to MissKittyDeVine)

Post #: 158

RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/13/2011 1:05:33 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

As long as the OP does not "performs, or offers, or agrees to perform, sexual intercourse or deviate sexual conduct," she is NOT engaging in prostitution in her jurisdiction.

35-41-1-9 “Deviate sexual conduct” defined

Sec. 9. “Deviate sexual conduct” means an act involving:

(1) a sex organ of one person and the mouth or anus of another person; or

(2) the penetration of the sex organ or anus of a person by an object.

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 159

RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/13/2011 1:14:03 PM

HeatherMcLeather

Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline

quote:

Professional online Domme

??????

People actually pay for cyber sex? For real?

I am used to my mind being boggled on a regular basis on here, but this just takes the cake.
I'm sorry MissKittyDeVine, I take back what I said about you being a prostitute, you're not, you're a glorified phone sex girl. <1-976-772-6563 by chance??>

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 160

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