RE: subs and slaves shed some light (Full Version)

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Killerangel -> RE: subs and slaves shed some light (10/16/2011 12:04:14 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: dom66666

ok ive said it bbefore and ill say it again,i thankyou for your responses.if I didnt want your opinions,i wouldnt be in chat.if I feel im bbeing attacked,im going to defend myself.just all all of you are harping to get your point accross,im doing the same thing.so many of you say im doing it because I dont like your answers.its got nothing to do with liking them or not.all of you if fely threatened would respond with harsh tones and in fact many of you have.how is my responding the way way acting like I have a bad attitude?are people really that shallow or hypocritical to do something and then critisize someone else for doing the same thing? c'mon people,again,im only angry at those people calling me a stalker and such.to everyone else,just cause I dont agree with what you say doesnt mean im angry or quick tempered.its ok to disagree.its not ok to say someone is quick tempered or has an attitude probblem because they disagree.to the one who says I have a lesson to learn,let that be your lesson.

again,thanks for the responses.i appriciate them all.i dont agree with them all bbut thats my right and choice to agree or disagree.


I don't see anywhere that you were attacked. I saw people telling you how your words/actions came across. I also saw plenty of people giving you time and energy to say basically the same thing, which may be frustrating you because you seem to feel there is a different solution to the problem that you haven't been offered yet, but there simply isn't. We don't know of any secret submissive code for why these women were getting the hell out of Dodge after getting to that point with you. You see it as harping on the same things, but hell if we know what the situations really were like. All we can do is give you feedback on what you've told us.

What you said was that you get to a certain point of knowing a woman and you ask to meet. When you do that they say bye and block you. So, there's a couple of options here:  Perhaps they made up their minds previous to that point that you weren't what they wanted. Perhaps they were sending you cues that you ignored and you went on thinking everything was fine- then when you got to the meeting part they just cut and ran. Perhaps they liked you ok, and when you suggested meeting they realized that you weren't actually what they had in mind and the thought of meeting made them finally say yeah, it's not going to work out. Perhaps they didn't like how or where you suggested the meeting. Perhaps they never intended on meeting. From the things you've shared i'd have to say that the most likely thing is that you did something that scared them off when you asked for the meeting or things were adding up before that and when you got to the point of asking for a meet they were done.

Here's a radical concept that seems to upset you but you really need to pay attention to it....the problem is with you and whatever it is that you're doing. If you keep getting a similar result then it's not the entire world out there against you somehow, it's you.
If you are picking poor prospects to begin with, that is on you.
If you are pushing too hard or saying something offensive or scary, that is on you.
Your past record of having women in your life doesn't really matter now. If I had a job before, but need one now, and I keep getting turned down, then I have to look at myself. Do I smell? Am I being rude to the people who interview me? That problem will never be solved unless i do some deep thinking about myself and why I'm not getting anywhere. Going around protesting that I've had jobs before and I'm a highly trained so and so doesn't get me anywhere now does it?

You can continue to take our words as being offensive to you or you can use them to try to get to the heart of this. And Dude, honestly, you could use some work on the profile. I won 't even go into that since you didn't ask for it, but you're not fishing with quality bait. You need to take some care with how you present yourself.

If you truly want this woman to be in your life you need to get yourself on the ball and work at getting her with some better tactics. Coming here for advice was a great start, maybe now that you did that you could actually listen to it without being defensive, and see what you need to work on instead of insisting that we are all wrong. For me, seeing how you've reacted here I'd be one of the women getting the hell out of Dodge, because you DON'T LISTEN. You asked people here what they thought, and then you have issues with listening to what they said. Your communication skills are sorely lacking. This is just me, but i wouldn't want to deal with that and maybe the women who rejected you didn't want to either. On the positive side, great going with listening enough to take the item out of your profile that was slamming another member.

One more thing, add me in with the group that finds it to be a red light with you offering your or her place in with the other suggested places for a meet. Just the fact that you said it would give me the creeps- i wouldn't care if you lumped it in with coffee or a park too. If you look for the simplest reason why you are failing that may be it right there.






GreedyTop -> RE: subs and slaves shed some light (10/16/2011 12:09:00 PM)

YAY KA!!




OsideGirl -> RE: subs and slaves shed some light (10/16/2011 1:09:59 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Killerangel
If you keep getting a similar result then it's not the entire world out there against you somehow, it's you.

Master has a saying:

If you meet one person and think they're an asshole, they're probably an asshole.

If you meet five people and think they're assholes, they might be assholes.

If you meet ten people and you think they're all assholes, you're the asshole.




dom66666 -> RE: subs and slaves shed some light (10/16/2011 2:31:55 PM)

to killerangel,i dont know how else to say it more clearly.I APPRICIATE THE RESPONSES.im allowed to disagree.thats my right just as your opinions are your right.you say its me,its all me,not them.if all I did was blame you for your issues,you would bbe lieing your ass off if you said you wouldnt be offended.

everyone is hung up on me suggesting my place or theirs.it was a question to them and it was their choice.noone seems to think that how they ended was wrong.no explination,just simply blocked.in the same day moments before asking about meeting,i asked if they were sure they wanted to meet.i did nothing wrong by asking where.only a couple of you seem to understand.you are not one of them.you are missing the point of the question.i wont repeat it cause it cant be more clear.you say im not paying attention when clearly you are not paying attention.did you acually read everything?i think not.i refuse to explain it again because you choose not to take what I right for what it means instead reading between lines that dont exist.if I meant something else,i would have said it.im not using metephores.TAKE IT FOR WHAT IS,NOT WHAT YOU THINK I MEANT.i say it like this because you refuse to understand the question even though its right in front of you.still,i have no ill feeling towards you though im sure you will find something wrong with it.good luck none the less




dom66666 -> RE: subs and slaves shed some light (10/16/2011 2:42:23 PM)

to osidegirl,calling me an asshole even metaphorically is your right but you know nothing of who I am.you have comments like that and when I respond in defense,i have an attitude problem.let me just say,your a fuckin nut.thats my opinion.thats my right.i understand your meaning behind it.you will say your not call your not calling me an asshole,thats just the example you used to tell me,if it keeps happening over and over again,then its my fault,something im doing wrong.i get that but,im not an idiot either.you could have said it just the way I did.you chose to call me an asshole instead along with saying it me,not them.




OsideGirl -> RE: subs and slaves shed some light (10/16/2011 2:56:42 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: dom66666

everyone is hung up on me suggesting my place or theirs.it was a question to them and it was their choice.noone seems to think that how they ended was wrong.no explination,just simply blocked.in the same day moments before asking about meeting,i asked if they were sure they wanted to meet.i did nothing wrong by asking where.
Really? Did you ask, "where would you like to meet?" or did you ask "where would you like to meet, my place or yours?"

We're hung up on you suggesting your place or her place.....because it's the big red flag waving in the air. That suggestion shouldn't even exist in the request for a first meeting. Period. Every single one of us have told you that approach would make us cut bait. I don't necessarily agree with just blocking and leaving, but submissive women tend to be...well...submissive and non-confrontational.

You asked a bunch of female submissives why other female submissives would do something....and we told you. So, rather than re-examining your approach, you decide we're wrong.

So here are your options:

1) Every woman you talk to is a fake
2) They're really not that into you and are continuing to talk to you to be polite, until that moment when you suggest a meeting when they realize they're stuck and panic
3) You're doing something that makes them uncomfortable and makes them doubt your integrity, so they decide to stop dealing with you.

Since you seem to think you know more about us than we do, just choose one and go on your merry way.




OsideGirl -> RE: subs and slaves shed some light (10/16/2011 3:02:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: dom66666

to osidegirl,calling me an asshole even metaphorically is your right but you know nothing of who I am.you have comments like that and when I respond in defense,i have an attitude problem.let me just say,your a fuckin nut.thats my opinion.thats my right.i understand your meaning behind it.you will say your not call your not calling me an asshole,thats just the example you used to tell me,if it keeps happening over and over again,then its my fault,something im doing wrong.i get that but,im not an idiot either.you could have said it just the way I did.you chose to call me an asshole instead along with saying it me,not them.


I didn't call you an asshole. Pretty much everyone here knows me well enough to know if I wanted to call you an asshole, I wouldn't couch it in a saying from NA, I'd just come out an call you an asshole.

But, the fact you think I did....says a whole bunch about you.

I'll be sure to say "Hi' if I ever see you at a social.




dom66666 -> RE: subs and slaves shed some light (10/16/2011 3:13:31 PM)

yeah,like I said.you read nothing.you see what you want to see and nothing else.im done




Hisprettybaby -> RE: subs and slaves shed some light (10/16/2011 3:31:24 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: dom66666
I feel im bbeing attacked,im going to defend myself.just all all of you are harping to get your point accross,im doing the same thing.so many of you say im doing it because I dont like your answers.its got nothing to do with liking them or not.all of you if fely threatened would respond with harsh tones and in fact many of you have.how is my responding the way way acting like I have a bad attitude?are people really that shallow or hypocritical to do something and then critisize someone else for doing the same thing?

No one is attacking you. And I haven't seen anyone call you names, unless you're talking about the post that says your behavior screams stalker. Even she didn't call YOU a stalker, she just said your BEHAVIOR screamed stalker. We are just trying to tell you that your approach is a bad one. Asking for addresses, asking for a first meet to be at either your place or her place and then only mentioning a coffee shop or public place as an afterthought. That makes it sound like you really want to get her alone the first time you meet her in person, but will only go for a coffee shop if she doesn't bite. Maybe there are some women out there who will meet at a private residence, either yours or hers, on a first meet but there aren't many. Being women, we live daily with the possibility of being raped and we care more for our safety than to just throw it out the window.

As for why a woman would say she wants to meet you and then she doesn't, well, there must have been something that happened between the first conversation and the blocking that changed her mind. Since there were multiple women that did this to you and you are the common denominator in all those situations, I'm going to take a wild guess and say maybe it was something that you did.

I admit that, once, I changed my mind at the last minute. I was supposed to fly across country to meet this Dom and his other two girls quite some time back when I was single. Two days before I was supposed to fly out of Sea-Tac he had told me something about himself. I tried and tried to convince myself that it was no big deal. But it was. What he had told me was scary as hell. The night before my plane was leaving, I called him up and I told him it was off. Then I paid him back for his half of the plane tickets, since I was the one who called it off. Sometimes a person really does plan, up until the last minute, on meeting someone and then change her/his mind. It happens. But usually there's a reason.

~Hisprettybaby~




dom66666 -> RE: subs and slaves shed some light (10/16/2011 3:51:06 PM)

ive deleted my profile yet somehow I cant delete my thread here.im done with the bs on cm.most of the people here are full of shit.say what you will,i no longer care.good luck to all,im done.




Killerangel -> RE: subs and slaves shed some light (10/16/2011 4:04:42 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: dom66666

to killerangel,i dont know how else to say it more clearly.I APPRICIATE THE RESPONSES.im allowed to disagree.thats my right just as your opinions are your right.you say its me,its all me,not them.if all I did was blame you for your issues,you would bbe lieing your ass off if you said you wouldnt be offended.

everyone is hung up on me suggesting my place or theirs.it was a question to them and it was their choice.noone seems to think that how they ended was wrong.no explination,just simply blocked.in the same day moments before asking about meeting,i asked if they were sure they wanted to meet.i did nothing wrong by asking where.only a couple of you seem to understand.you are not one of them.you are missing the point of the question.i wont repeat it cause it cant be more clear.you say im not paying attention when clearly you are not paying attention.did you acually read everything?i think not.i refuse to explain it again because you choose not to take what I right for what it means instead reading between lines that dont exist.if I meant something else,i would have said it.im not using metephores.TAKE IT FOR WHAT IS,NOT WHAT YOU THINK I MEANT.i say it like this because you refuse to understand the question even though its right in front of you.still,i have no ill feeling towards you though im sure you will find something wrong with it.good luck none the less


Jiminy Crickets man, please look at the pattern here. You came to ask a question about what happened with 4 women. They all followed the same pattern on what happened between you and them. It seemed to the people that responded that the reason these women might have taken off in such a rush was that you made them uncomfortable. Now on this thread 27 different people responded to say basically to take a look at yourself and what you're doing, and your response is still to fight us and insist that all of us haven't read your postings. So in other words, you're doing it again- insisting that it's not you. You keep following the same pattern over and over.

You're right about one thing. You do not have to like our postings or even agree with them. Honestly though, if you cannot see a pattern here of how you lack communication and comprehension skills then honestly, just give this up. Any woman who will be with you is going to end up banging her head against the wall. Think on this, none of us know you, what could we possibly derive from being mean to you? You gave us a question and we tried our best to answer you. Then you say none is paying attention. Attention to what? We've all answered the question! For the record, YES, I read all of your postings. Every word. I don't know what it is that you feel that you have to keep explaining. For some reason you are not getting the responses that you wanted, the problem isn't that we're not reading or comprehending, it's that you don't like the answers. Ok, now go ahead and have another fit. Honestly thought, if 27 people are telling you the same thing maybe it's time to pay attention.

I don't know for sure why those women ran out on you. Maybe it wasn't a very nice thing to do. Maybe they felt compelled to do it that way because you don't freaking listen or comprehend what you're being told. I think they probably wanted to avoid a difficult conversation with you- I can't blame them for that, you're a tough nut to get through to.

No one is slamming you, people are being pretty nice. They're being honest and you don't like what they're saying. No one is trying to make you feel badly just because they like to do that, we're giving you the information that you asked for. Now it's your turn to look at what you're doing and perhaps learn from it. You'd have to admit that everyone on this thread has been consistent in their advice and what it is saying about you. No one is perfect, we all have things to learn, here's a golden opportunity for you to learn.




TheFireWithinMe -> RE: subs and slaves shed some light (10/16/2011 4:19:53 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: dom66666

ive deleted my profile yet somehow I cant delete my thread here.im done with the bs on cm.most of the people here are full of shit.say what you will,i no longer care.good luck to all,im done.


You know if you want us to take this seriously you really should stop watching the thread from up top. You'll have more credibility.




searching4mysir -> RE: subs and slaves shed some light (10/16/2011 4:20:08 PM)

Shockers.....it's OUR fault....we are all frauds and fakes who attack the big bad dom......




OsideGirl -> RE: subs and slaves shed some light (10/16/2011 4:20:14 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: dom66666

ive deleted my profile yet somehow I cant delete my thread here.im done with the bs on cm.most of the people here are full of shit.say what you will,i no longer care.good luck to all,im done.

And we have a FLOUNCE!

You can't delete the thread, you're stuck looking like a paranoid, pig headed putz who flounces off when he doesn't get the answer he wants for all of eternity. (or as long as CM exists)





OsideGirl -> RE: subs and slaves shed some light (10/16/2011 4:22:06 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: searching4mysir

Shockers.....it's OUR fault....we are all frauds and fakes who attack the big bad dom......


I believe he expected us to pat him on the head and tell him how horrible those rude little submissives were.....




OsideGirl -> RE: subs and slaves shed some light (10/16/2011 4:34:55 PM)

Oh and....

quote:


Users viewing this topic: OsideGirl, Hisprettybaby, Missokyst, ScotzMinx, SaintIntensity, heyyouthere00903, searching4mysir, lizi, BeIgnited, shib445, dom66666, Malicious, submissiveMya, winspiritsbaby, auction, frankle6, seekerofslut, twistdvanilla






Hisprettybaby -> RE: subs and slaves shed some light (10/16/2011 4:38:02 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Killerangel
on this thread 27 different people responded to say basically to take a look at yourself and what you're doing, and your response is still to fight us and insist that all of us haven't read your postings. So in other words, you're doing it again- insisting that it's not you. You keep following the same pattern over and over.

I used to have a friend like that. I say USED TO. No matter how many times the same thing happened in her life, no matter what it was that happened, it was never her fault. I'm so glad she disappeared out of my life the last time I called her on her bullshit. Some people just never grow up.....

P.S. For that matter, how do we KNOW that he deleted his profile? Maybe he's just having an ever-so-domly hissy fit and hid it for awhile. hahaha




Missokyst -> RE: subs and slaves shed some light (10/16/2011 4:40:30 PM)

Acck... outed as being a reader!
lol shiiit.
Before he flounced off I was going to mention it they might be exiting in droves because he mentions training them. "I have trained #.. ect ect.."
If I were looking for a serious partner I would not be talking to someone who uses that term.
If I were looking for a partner I would think of relationships, learning about each other.. not one person training me as if I had no skills of my own in finding out what I needed to do to please someone.

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

Oh and....

quote:


Users viewing this topic: OsideGirl, Hisprettybaby, Missokyst, ScotzMinx, SaintIntensity, heyyouthere00903, searching4mysir, lizi, BeIgnited, shib445, dom66666, Malicious, submissiveMya, winspiritsbaby, auction, frankle6, seekerofslut, twistdvanilla








Hisprettybaby -> RE: subs and slaves shed some light (10/16/2011 4:41:06 PM)

OsideGirl, you're right. He IS still viewing the topic. Domly hissy fit coming right up! hahahahaha




lizi -> RE: subs and slaves shed some light (10/16/2011 4:57:31 PM)

For what it's worth, up till the flounce I honestly thought he got restrained responses. People were not mean at all in what they chose to say. I know I was itching to say something about the pictures but....well, it was kind of like kicking a puppy. He wasn't the brightest bulb in the box. He's still up there watching too, I don't think he's figured out how we can tell.




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