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ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

~ Fast Reply ~

I think messy/clean is more a right side brain/left side brain sort of thing than an implied dominance sort of thing. Now for me personally, I would not want a cluttered-house kinda guy to manage me, because we would clearly have different priorities of what's important to us, and we'd drive each other crazy.  But I've known men who have had messy houses, yet still managed to portray a level of internal power which got my attention. Long term, though, that wouldn't work for me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

I didn't want to hi-jack the thread that started this, but I'm curious.

When I think of someone dominant, I think of someone in control of their life, their environment and all the things that go along with it. (As much as can reasonably be expected. I do expect everyone to be human and flawed...even dominants!)

Now, to me, being in control of your life implies that you would have a home where things are in order. It doesn't have to be a large house; it can be a room you rent, a trailer or a mansion, it's all the same; it's your home. It doesn't have to be perfectly sanitized and not white glove treatment, but if you want something you know where it is and you don't have to wade through a bunch of junk to get it. If someone drops in to visit, you don't have to pretend you're not home or risk being thought of as messy jessy.

I am a bit of a creative slob, and am so thankful that HM and I are together. He helps me stay organized and neat and I do appreciate it.

I've  been reading in another thread about one dom who doesn't care for his home to be too neat, and while I don't want to live in a home decorating magazine, I do like to be able to walk around barefoot and not have to be too careful not to stumble over various things lying around.

We have a menagerie of animals and also a couple of children, so...neat is relative in our home. *lol* (fuzzy mice and squeakers appear around every corner)

I know everyone lives their life the way they choose, so this is not a value judgment, I'm just curious what other people think if/when they walk into a dominant's domain? Do you expect it to be neat and fairly organized or is catch as catch can expected about as often?

If their home environment isn't at least tidy, do you wonder about their ability to control other things in their life including you? Of course, I guess an organizational sub could come in very handy for a dom who has problems keeping track of stuff like that (like I do) I know this thread will piss some people off, but almost every thread upsets someone, so...I guess I'll just go ahead and ask. (because I'm curious!)

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ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt



A total lack of organization (or cleanliness for that matter), a not taking care of or caring about your stuff and where you live is a sign of depression. C

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ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

Or just sheer and utter laziness. Cause I was not depressed. quite the oposit, and when I was a child I was an utter slob, my parents couldn't do jack shit to make me clean up my room or keep it clean. I just didn't want to. To this day I am still extremely un organized, and sometimes chaotic and still not depressed. It's just not a high priority to me as long as I can find my stuff.

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ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

A total lack of organization (or cleanliness for that matter), a not taking care of or caring about your stuff and where you live is a sign of depression. C

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ORIGINAL: TreasureKY


Laziness, too. 

Though there was never a time when I couldn't make my children clean their rooms.  The standing deal was either they cleaned it, or I did using a large trash bag that went out with the garbage. 

Surprisingly, they got over their laziness. 

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never a time when I couldn't make my children clean thei

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ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

Does Dominance Imply Order?

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ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

agirl when I think of clutter I think of lots & lots of clutter.  My ex husband lived that way and did NOT want me picking it up.  So I'm sure I have an element of "clutter-baggage" lol. 

I don't mind a little here & there - my home isn't perfect, and Daddy's home is in order, but lived in. 

The other thing, though, is when my mind and/or life is cluttered, that clutter tends to merge into my home, too.  So a significantly cluttered home brings me to a "cluttered mind" frame of mind, and I don't like it.  Plus I become very frustrated when I can't find things very easily.

So for me, a few items strewn on a table here and there - no biggy.  Every table top covered with "stuff" - a definite biggy lol.

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ORIGINAL: agirl

M jokes that having a slave with OCD is a godsend when living in a Tipi:) Not very amusing without a lol or something chucklely.

Moving on from that. Appreciated. I also could NOT live contentedly with clutter on top of clutter.I'd probably survive if it was organised clutter. I just don't want to......lol If it was clutter that I had a part in, even better, I then can file it.

The bolded part is the opposite of my feelings but we can talk outside of here.

agirl

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ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

Oh yeah. OCD.  My OCD is used to research things:  "I want a new TV" turns into me spending hours researching (and plotting on a spreadsheet, complete with pictures) every TV out there - price, specs, etc., and coming back to him with my top 3 recommendations.

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ORIGINAL: ourmsbetty

Are you kidding?

Have you seen my apartment?

I think neat or not so neat is more a personal personality thing rather than a Dominant or submissive thing...

When it comes down to it there are only so many hours in the day and I have other priorities than folding the laundry....

Like blogging.

And tweeting

And coding

And taking calls.

Oh and working...

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ORIGINAL: ourmsbetty
I think neat or not so neat is more a personal personality thing rather than a Dominant or submissive thing.

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Oh yeah. OCD. My OCD is used to research things: "I want a new TV" turns into me spending hours researching (and plotting on a spreadsheet, complete with pictures) every TV out there - price, specs, etc., and coming back to him with my top 3 recommendations.

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Yeah, organized clutter is one thing.  When it gets to a point where you can't set a drink down, or have to watch where you walk, that's something else.  So I guess the degree of tolerable clutter is going to be different for everyone.  I wouldn't work well with someone whose degree of clutter was significantly greater than mine.

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Yes, same here. Not that I'm THAT good with clutter at all but as I'm head of the house, it's all mostly organised to suit my slight obsession, at least in any areas I have to inhabit.

M tends to arrive with an explosion rather than a *hiya*. It goes from silence and tranquility, to Master, bits, bobs, bags and noise in 5 minutes flat. I do live with him for days at a time but we seem to have a happy medium. His messes don't bother me and my neatening up doesn't bother him, we just let each other *be* the way that makes us both content and at peace.

In 10 yrs, we've never so much as had a cross about it, so it's clearly a non-issue.

And this from MariaB...."Not keeping your home beautifully tidy just in case your friends pop round, has nothing to do with dominance and all to do with the sort of person you are and how you prefer to live.
Our home portrays our personalities, healthy, creative, relaxed and not materialistic."

We like a relaxed, welcoming, unstructured time, and it shows....friends know what to expect and strangers take us as they find us :)

It's all about resourcefulness......HE can always find everything from a safety-pin to an elastic band.......I always have someone who can fix practically anything.

Vive la difference!

agirl

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I also can't do quote boxes....lol















< Message edited by agirl -- 10/25/2011 9:47:12 AM >

_____________________________

See how easy it can be?

(in reply to NuevaVida)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt
A total lack of organization (or cleanliness for that matter), a not taking care of or caring about your stuff and where you live is a sign of depression. Chronically depressed people don't make good dominants or submissves, b/c they don't make good partners.

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ORIGINAL: Epytropos

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt
A total lack of organization (or cleanliness for that matter), a not taking care of or caring about your stuff and where you live is a sign of depression. Chronically depressed people don't make good dominants or submissves, b/c they don't make good partners.

"People who are different from me are BAD and also MENTALLY ILL!"