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aromanholiday -> RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? (10/22/2011 6:51:34 PM)
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"Thin women are great to look at, granted. Some people's bodies are like looking at...art in motion. I cannot blame people for appreciating a work of art, whether in a waitress, stripper, or even some beach bunny. Long time ago before I had my son, my body was a work of art too and I was hassled night and day by horny, appreciative men. However...if you think for even one moment that women have a problem getting laid...think again. Even through years of celibacy all kinds of men tried to get into my size 3X pants. The husbands of friends, guys in bars, at laundromats, grocery stores, in libraries, while I was taking my kid to a park... This was in vanilla. From the Domme side, huge as I am I have never had any trouble getting subs...and sometimes we are taling about young hunky ones in their twenties and thirties, physically fit and art in motion. Even when I advertise that I am taken, own a sub and am not looking for a third person, the guys keep writing. One from this week lives only 20 minutes away and is hunky and in his low twenties. See...if I were into swinging I could have dick from at least a hundred different guys per year. I know this may be hard to grasp...fat chicks can have as much dick as they want...mkay?"
Mkay! :D
I envy your experience a little, CynthiaWVirginia. You're very right: excessive male attention happens to nearly every woman I know, no matter what her size, age, shape of her breasts, amount of facial hair, or other aspects of her appearance. Men are just that... sexually aggressive. But it didn't happen much to me. I don't think I was (or am) particularly bad looking but few men ever approached me. Perhaps the reason for this was that I was and still am deeply shy and gave off "stand back" vibes or maybe even "I am a freaky slave" vibes. (who knows?) But I do think an individual's personality, what they give off in the various ways they express themselves, even online, determines whether others approach them. I never intentionally want others to stand back. But something about me seems to keep most at bay. I don't mind that much anymore, now that I've overcome the shyness a bit. The general standoffishness of others has given me the option of approaching someone interesting and attractive first rather than getting obsessed with fending off those who are not compatible with me. Kids, at least, tend to like me--which suggests I am still partially human. ;-) In fact, an 11 year old boy grinned widely at me tonight. But that may have been because I looked rather dumb in the middle of the busy sidewalk taking photos.
I suppose I should add something to the general theme of the thread, but it's all been said. I agree most with the stance that people, in general, are getting larger so of course you're going to see them more frequently in bdsm venues, which are far more accepting of differences in body shape than the average vanilla club or pickup bar. (At the latter it's often all about the body; at the former it's also partially about your personality and how compatible that is with other types of personalities?) I have noticed, sadly, that bdsmers are getting pickier and snobbier, and narrowing their choices and contacts. This new (at least to me) age segregation trend is an example of this. The splinter groups I see on certain other websites that begin with the letter F but will remain largely unnamed are another example of this: "I am a master and I associate only with slaves and other masters." "I am an owner but not a master or a mistress so I associate with other owners and properties." Etc. Actually, it's not that bad yet. The groups are rather small and get boring so everybody goes to everybody else's groups to see what's happening, no matter what they identify as. And that includes the age groups, lol. And then there is Ye Olde Cyber Gossip Gate. If one of your "associates" posts in a group, you see it instantly and you're likely to go there too in order to see what all the fuss is about, even if the group is strictly for post-op Transylvanian butlers living with their partners in airships who have three breasts [the partners, not the airships!] But I do see trends toward splintering.)
I did notice that people in bdsm were larger long before the obesity epidemic was noticed, however. We even had a special group in my locale 18 or so years ago that was only for large sized kinky people. No skinnies allowed! My theory about this is that people into bdsm are on the vanguard in other areas of life. Meaning that if a social trend of any sort is starting to happen, someone who is open-minded enough to be kinky may very well be one of the first to absorb and exhibit the other new trend as well, even if it is an unhealthy one. I know, it's kind of a hair-brained idea, but when I want to know where people in our society are going, I tend to look at the kink population first, and see what they are doing. And I do get hints that way.
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