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not replying to Dom's messages ? - 10/21/2011 3:28:26 PM   
bostondom55


Posts: 44
Joined: 9/26/2011
Status: offline 		Hello. I have a question for the subs. I have sent messages to subs here (and elsewhere), received nice replies, even chatted with them and been encouraged then... nothing. It just annoys the hell out of me. I'm older, somewhat traditional in terms of manners. Even if I have asked for a simple, polite "I'm pursuing other options" reply... nothing.

Why? Is it that you are so enthralled with another prospective Dom? Blocking my messages for... some reason? What is the reason? Not wanting to let somebody know they're a stuffed shirt? You see this as polite? Please give me some inclination why you choose to do this.

When I was young, I thought I was a great kisser. Only with a patient GF did I find most women are not into a hard tongue invading their mouth. Why not give us oblivious guys a hint?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: not replying to Dom's messages ? - 10/21/2011 3:39:11 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		Start with most women on these sites receive a ton of emails.

The reason why most women either don't reply or stop communicating is because they're not interested and past efforts of to convey that they're not interested has led to a barrage of insults and emails demanding to know why or demanding they should reconsider.

After awhile, you just stop replying because it's easier that putting up with the asshats.

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 10/21/2011 3:41:07 PM >

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(in reply to bostondom55)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: not replying to Dom's messages ? - 10/21/2011 3:55:08 PM   
HannahLynn


Posts: 687
Joined: 10/16/2011
From: where its fucking at.
Status: offline
quote:

What is the reason?
they're just not that fucking into you and don't want to argue with you over their reasons.

quote:

Why not give us oblivious guys a hint?
because you don't fucking take them.


< Message edited by HannahLynn -- 10/21/2011 3:56:44 PM >

(in reply to bostondom55)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: not replying to Dom's messages ? - 10/21/2011 4:07:23 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I rarely ever respond to emails because it's just not worth the effort.

I feel that if they haven't read my profile saying I'm not interested in a relationship but yet email me saying they'd want one with me, the emails are cut/copy, or rude then I'm not going to respond. Why should I?

If they're emailing because they just want to have a conversation and they're polite then I might if I find something to respond TO but again if you're just emailing with "Hi" or "you're sexy", then what exactly do you want me to respond to?

So either you're not getting replies because of one of those reasons above or they simply don't find you or your profile to be attractive to them. I haven't looked at your profile so I really don't know.



_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to HannahLynn)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: not replying to Dom's messages ? - 10/21/2011 4:27:00 PM   
Endivius


Posts: 1238
Joined: 8/22/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bostondom55

Why?



Why not.

quote:


Is it that you are so enthralled with another prospective Dom?


Anything is possible.

quote:


Blocking my messages for... some reason?


Most likely they were tired of your messages.

quote:


What is the reason?


You are not entitled to a reason. Move along.

quote:


Not wanting to let somebody know they're a stuffed shirt?

The size of a woman's breast has little to do with why your messages are being blocked or ignored. The fact that you believe it is relevant does shed some light on why you fail in this department.

quote:


You see this as polite?


People are dicks. Carry on.

quote:


Please give me some inclination why you choose to do this.


The vast majority of the female population does not report to you. Therefore, you are not entitled to a reason. Although, if I were a betting man, it has a lot to do with what you say and how you say it.

quote:


Why not give us oblivious guys a hint?


Blocking and/or ignoring you was the hint.

_____________________________

Basically if you can't inspire someone to trust you deeply, you aren't going to be able to buy that or a reasonable facsimile thereof. -DesFIP

(in reply to bostondom55)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: not replying to Dom's messages ? - 10/21/2011 4:49:44 PM   
tolovetolaugh


Posts: 648
Joined: 4/30/2008
Status: offline 		Once someone bores me, or starts bringing up sex or trying to dominate me before I have met them in person, I have no interest in talking to them further.
And Oside has it right- past experiences have shown me being polite just leads to pointless arguing.

Ignoring you IS a hint. If they ask where they went wrong in a non aggressive way, sometimes I will tell them, but I by no means feel obligated to.




_____________________________


That which yields, is not always weak. —
Jacqueline Carey (Kushiel's Dart)

I wrote a porn!
http://www.collarchat.com/m_3840531

(in reply to Endivius)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: not replying to Dom's messages ? - 10/21/2011 5:11:31 PM   
HannahLynn


Posts: 687
Joined: 10/16/2011
From: where its fucking at.
Status: offline
quote:

being polite just leads to pointless arguing
that's why i'm never polite to the fucking wankers, i let rip on them. i usually get nothing back except occasionally an indignant reply and they fucking block me. 

(in reply to tolovetolaugh)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: not replying to Dom's messages ? - 10/21/2011 5:35:09 PM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline 		Judging by your profile, you probably mention sex WAY too early. Your profile screams "I'm an easy lay looking for another easy lay". There isn't one vanilla thing in that profile to show you have any interests other than your dick and if you can get off. That gets old REALLY fast.

(in reply to HannahLynn)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: not replying to Dom's messages ? - 10/21/2011 5:36:21 PM   
libraryladysub


Posts: 10
Joined: 9/30/2011
Status: offline 		If you were to meet a person at a party, say...or any roomful of other people...some would attract you...and some would not. You might stop to chat a little with one, here and there...but you don't need to explain to them when you move on.

Yet, in social networking settings such as this, many expect a reason. It needs to be understood, that meeting people in chat can be as fluid as meeting people in a social setting realtime...there doesn't have to be any permanence associated with it, unless after continued conversations, both parties want there to be. And, when one party (or both) has no inclination to continue discourse, there shouldn't be any "drama" associated with moving along.

(in reply to HannahLynn)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: not replying to Dom's messages ? - 10/21/2011 6:16:58 PM   
Hisprettybaby


Posts: 781
Joined: 4/13/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline 		K, you said sub and I'm a switch, but here goes anyway. I perved your profile and there is not one single vanilla thing listed on the left side of your profile. Also, all you talk about in the essay portion of your profile is kinky shit. You're profile is very dick-centric and that alone would keep me from writing back to you in the first place.

Women get a lot of mail on these sites, no matter which side of the kneel they're on and, honestly, a woman can get dick just about any time. I want to know what makes a person unique and special, and what makes him stand out from the rest. A person's profile is supposed to let people know who you are and what you're looking for and, if it's totally dick-centric, well there ya go.

~edited to add~
I used to always write back to every cmail I got, no matter how one-liner, rude, "on your knees bitch," dick-centric or whatever it seemed, just to politely say "No thank you." Now I don't anymore because they will argue and try to persuade me that their bullshit is something I really do want, regardless of what I think. No more. I just got tired of fighting a losing battle. Now it's just BLOCK! DELETE! NEXT!!

< Message edited by Hisprettybaby -- 10/21/2011 6:25:53 PM >

(in reply to bostondom55)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: not replying to Dom's messages ? - 10/21/2011 6:45:36 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

Judging by your profile, you probably mention sex WAY too early. Your profile screams "I'm an easy lay looking for another easy lay". There isn't one vanilla thing in that profile to show you have any interests other than your dick and if you can get off. That gets old REALLY fast.


I think we might have a winner here.

Do add just as much vanilla stuff and some pictures (no cock shots!)

Boston has an active BDSM scene - try networking at local events.

(in reply to searching4mysir)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: not replying to Dom's messages ? - 10/21/2011 7:05:21 PM   
tj444


Posts: 7574
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bostondom55
Hello. I have a question for the subs. I have sent messages to subs here (and elsewhere), received nice replies, even chatted with them and been encouraged then... nothing. It just annoys the hell out of me. I'm older, somewhat traditional in terms of manners. Even if I have asked for a simple, polite "I'm pursuing other options" reply... nothing.

Why? Is it that you are so enthralled with another prospective Dom? Blocking my messages for... some reason? What is the reason? Not wanting to let somebody know they're a stuffed shirt? You see this as polite? Please give me some inclination why you choose to do this.

When I was young, I thought I was a great kisser. Only with a patient GF did I find most women are not into a hard tongue invading their mouth. Why not give us oblivious guys a hint?

well, what do you expect from subs half your age? I mean, unless you are Hefner rich or Brad Pitt handsome, your likely not gonna get those chicks... and the older you get, the harder it will be for you...

Gee,.. i dont know why but your description on kissing sorta made me want to gag.. i have had guys kiss me like a snake going down my throat and its not pleasant. I like what i call butterfly kisses (yes, with the tongue, just not gaggin me).. There, was that a good hint?

Women, after they have lived a while, decide what they want and dont want. I block a lot of guys, fast and hard... cuz they arent compatible to me... even when they think they are.. I know what i have to offer the right guy, but he has to be the right guy for me...

Btw, just chatting with someone means you are just having a nice conversation, nothing else... If people are interested in each other they meet in real life and get to know each other well enough to decide if they want anything more..

_____________________________

As Anderson Cooper said “If he (Trump) took a dump on his desk, you would defend it”

(in reply to bostondom55)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: not replying to Dom's messages ? - 10/21/2011 8:23:18 PM   
ProlificNeeds


Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline 		FR~

Because I don't feel like it. No reply, is a reply, sort of.

(in reply to StrongSpirit)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: not replying to Dom's messages ? - 10/21/2011 8:43:44 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bostondom55

Hello. I have a question for the subs. I have sent messages to subs here (and elsewhere), received nice replies, even chatted with them and been encouraged then... nothing. It just annoys the hell out of me. I'm older, somewhat traditional in terms of manners. Even if I have asked for a simple, polite "I'm pursuing other options" reply... nothing.

Why? Is it that you are so enthralled with another prospective Dom? Blocking my messages for... some reason? What is the reason? Not wanting to let somebody know they're a stuffed shirt? You see this as polite? Please give me some inclination why you choose to do this.

When I was young, I thought I was a great kisser. Only with a patient GF did I find most women are not into a hard tongue invading their mouth. Why not give us oblivious guys a hint?



Since we don't know what you are communicating to these women we have no idea why they are abandoning you, since it's happened more than once have you entertained the idea that you could be doing something that is offensive or uncomfortable? We just had a thread where a Dom was repeatedly dumped at the same point in his communications with several women. The consensus was that he was doing a specific thing that made the women very uncomfortable. Could something similar happening in your case?

I'd have to say that your profile is very much centered on sex and kink. If this is what you are looking for and the women are looking for something different they could be realizing that although you both may enjoy talking/communicating it isn't going anywhere for them so they cut bait at a certain point.

(in reply to bostondom55)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: not replying to Dom's messages ? - 10/21/2011 9:32:13 PM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		Sometimes chicks are rude. Sometimes they just lose interest and don't want to tell you because they don't want to hurt your feelings, or they want to deal with questions about it. Some women don't want to get into sex talk with guys they haven't met.

_____________________________

Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica


(in reply to Endivius)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: not replying to Dom's messages ? - 10/21/2011 10:29:59 PM   
Winterapple


Posts: 1343
Joined: 8/19/2011
Status: offline 		I block people when
(a) They're creeping me out
(b) They're annoying me
(c) They're harassing me
I don't feel obligated to share this
with them before I block.



_____________________________

A thousand dreams within me softly burn.
Rimbaud




(in reply to bostondom55)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: not replying to Dom's messages ? - 10/22/2011 6:09:05 AM   
TheFireWithinMe


Posts: 1672
Joined: 10/3/2011
From: The Depths of Hell
Status: offline 		As I already mentioned (or I think I have) if the message is polite I respond politely - unless he is insisting we are perfect for each other and a) he hasn't even read my profile b) we aren't c) he has a blank profile.

Lately the messages I have been getting have ranged from stupid (hi cunt) to the downright scary (dude who wanted to cut me deeply enough for me to bleed then drink my blood and then there was the dude with no profile who said he would move me to Winnipeg right away. There is no way I'm going to waste energy replying to crap like that.

The guy who takes the time to read my profile and writes a polite FUNNY message will get a reply every time. Work is obscenely busy so by the time I get home I'm exhausted so it may take a while but I will reply...just not to idiocy.

Fire

_____________________________

Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags

There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast. ~Author Unknown

(in reply to bostondom55)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: not replying to Dom's messages ? - 10/22/2011 6:43:01 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		I will respond to all polite replies.

If I'm in the mood I will reply to the idiot "Hi how r u" or "wat u lookin 4" messages, but only to amuse myself.

If the conversation remains interesting and respectful, then I will continue to respond. The minute someone tries to tell me to dump Master and take them on, or starts asking stuff that is waaaay too personal and won't back off after I've asked them, I stop replying. Persistence on their part after that gets them blocked.

When I was looking I used to prioritise those that I thought were a better match for me, which meant that some waited a while before I responded, Usually no more than a couple of hours, but sometimes a day. If they got snotty about it, I blocked.

I don't want to waste time with oxygen thieves and the block button is a great way to help me in that.

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk


(in reply to TheFireWithinMe)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: not replying to Dom's messages ? - 10/22/2011 8:03:15 AM   
LaughingVampire


Posts: 10
Joined: 9/29/2011
Status: offline 		"How dare you ignore me on the internet!"

But seriously, don't take it personally. Move on. If you felt like you connected with them and you really don't want to give up hope, try to switch up your tact. Send one last message, maybe including a couple of very enticing BDSM images that you think will appeal to them (pictures speak louder than words), or just send a brief message saying something funny/absurd (mainly to amuse yourself). You might be surprised. She could have been overwhelmed with other messages and simply forgot to get back to you. Just don't get worked up.

If your 'one last message' falls on deaf ears, at least you know you can move on having tried. I've actually assumed a few times certain subs were lost causes, then they ended up replying to the stupidest things. "Excuse me miss, but your mammary glands are showing. HAVE YOU NO SHAME?"
~and what do you know, we're still talking, and I received some very nice pictures to boot.

Remember, for men on this site, you will only get a return of 5% (if you're lucky) on all the effort you put in (as in; for every hundred words you write only expect to receive 5 in return). And way less than 1% of all contacts you make stand a chance of resulting in a real world encounter. If this reality is too much for you to bear, give up and save yourself a lot of stress.

(in reply to myotherself)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: not replying to Dom's messages ? - 10/22/2011 8:03:25 AM   
fragilepieces


Posts: 416
Joined: 7/6/2008
Status: offline 		I have told people I was not interested and was totally polite only to get a response with 910 reasons why I should reconsider.   Now if I get a message I look at the profile and 9 times out of 10 block them without any response at all.   

(in reply to bostondom55)
Profile   Post #: 20
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