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RE: not replying to Dom's messages ? - 10/22/2011 8:26:44 AM

TheFireWithinMe

Posts: 1672
Joined: 10/3/2011
From: The Depths of Hell
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fragilepieces

I have told people I was not interested and was totally polite only to get a response with 910 reasons why I should reconsider. Now if I get a message I look at the profile and 9 times out of 10 block them without any response at all.

Bingo! I got a message from some random D-type. I looked at his profile, saw we weren't compatible and wrote him saying so. He wrote back saying "but it'll only take a bit of your time to meet, we are in the same city". So what I was supposed to meet with him because if we did I would drop everything I'm looking for and hook up with him because he's so AWESOME?

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There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast. ~Author Unknown

(in reply to fragilepieces)

Post #: 21

RE: not replying to Dom's messages ? - 10/22/2011 9:04:15 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself
The minute someone tries to tell me to dump Master and take them on, or starts asking stuff that is waaaay too personal and won't back off after I've asked them, I stop replying. Persistence on their part after that gets them blocked.

Oh, I love that guys that say "well, if you and your Master break up, keep me in mind." Yes, because if my 12 year relationship with my Master/husband/best friend ends, the first thing I'm gonna do is run to some guy on the internet that hit on me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheFireWithinMe
So what I was supposed to meet with him because if we did I would drop everything I'm looking for and hook up with him because he's so AWESOME?

That used to irritate me when I was single and looking. I was very specific about what I wanted and I'd get people that would decide that they were the exception. Then they'd get upset because I didn't think they were the exception.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to myotherself)

Post #: 22

RE: not replying to Dom's messages ? - 10/22/2011 9:19:37 AM

TheFireWithinMe

Posts: 1672
Joined: 10/3/2011
From: The Depths of Hell
Status: offline

quote:

That used to irritate me when I was single and looking. I was very specific about what I wanted and I'd get people that would decide that they were the exception. Then they'd get upset because I didn't think they were the exception.

Exactly! Plus, in this dude's case he KNOWS we aren't compatible, I KNOW we aren't compatible, but hey what the hell we're in the same city so let's get together. I'm freaking exhausted from having worked far too hard all week, I don't have the energy to get together with a man I'm not compatible with. Hell I barely have the energy to get together with a man I AM compatible with.

Sorry, blowing off a bit of steam there.

_____________________________

Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags

There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast. ~Author Unknown

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 23

RE: not replying to Dom's messages ? - 10/22/2011 9:59:32 AM

strongbottom88

Posts: 40
Joined: 9/10/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaughingVampire

Remember, for men on this site, you will only get a return of 5% (if you're lucky) on all the effort you put in (as in; for every hundred words you write only expect to receive 5 in return). And way less than 1% of all contacts you make stand a chance of resulting in a real world encounter. If this reality is too much for you to bear, give up and save yourself a lot of stress.

Now that is just depressing. I am almost as new to the site as you are and have only been sending out "words" for a few weeks. I have to say, this has not been my experience at all on the site. Sure, there are some women who will not reply to a post or may never read it, but I have found that experience to be the exception more than the rule and I think you are right that when it does happen we have to be able to chalk it up to the realization that women on these sites are way more inundated with email than guys are- but 5% return if you are lucky - wow I hope my experience does not even out over time. I would say that several of the women I have contacted have been especially thankful for a well thought out email, even noting that is a rare experience for them on this site.

There is no doubt some of my emails have been more well thought out than others, but I am not painstakenly choosing every single word in any of them. This leads me to believe that guys are just shooting from the hip with almost no thought about who they are contacting and why. If you share nothing in common with a woman other than finding her picture attractive or being on the opposite side of the dominant/submissive side than her or you are not paying any attention to her profile/journal, then you are not thinking through the email enough - including the choice of whether or not to make it. (I am not suggesting you are doing this, but speaking more generally)

And yes, I realize I have probably jinxed and cursed myself going forward. Oh well.

(in reply to LaughingVampire)

Post #: 24

RE: not replying to Dom's messages ? - 10/22/2011 10:28:43 AM

TheFireWithinMe

Posts: 1672
Joined: 10/3/2011
From: The Depths of Hell
Status: offline

quote:

<snip>I think you are right that when it does happen we have to be able to chalk it up to the realization that women on these sites are way more inundated with email than guys are<snip>

It isn't JUST that we are inundated with mail, we are inundated with mail from idiots who didn't even read a portion of our profiles to make sure that a) we are compatible and b) that we are even LOOKING. It gets really tiresome sometimes and I'm thankful that I can "read" the messages I get by hovering over it.

Want to improve the odds of getting a response. Follow the suggestions we are giving you guys.

Fire

_____________________________

Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags

There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast. ~Author Unknown

(in reply to strongbottom88)

Post #: 25

RE: not replying to Dom's messages ? - 10/22/2011 11:15:18 AM

Hisprettybaby

Posts: 781
Joined: 4/13/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

OP, there is a thread in Ask a Master about subs not answering Doms' letters, so I will tell you the same thing I told him:

1. A lot of people don't do online. Either they never did or else they don't anymore for various reasons. I don't.

2. A lot of women don't like to see a woman or even somebody else's tits on a guy's profile and a decent percentage of guys do this. Most women would rather see HIM, or at least not her or her tits.

3. A good chunk of guys, Doms and submissives alike, will not read the woman's profile. If he can't even take the time to read a profile to see what she's really looking for, why should she answer him when he's obviously not it?

4. Sometimes, a decent percentage of the time actually, if a woman does send a nice reply as to her reasons for not being interested in going any further, guys will (a)call them rude & insulting names or (b)continue to push for their agenda. If we're not interested, frickin' move on already.

5. A guy may even have written a long letter, but what was it about? Him as a person? Or was it all about sex and kink? That will make a difference in what kind of reply he gets, or even if he get a reply at all.

6. Some women get scheissloads of mail so, if any of the above-mentioned are the case, why answer it? Also, maybe she's just overloaded with mail so, it's nothing personal, but maybe she only answers the ones that really catch her eye.

~Hisprettybaby~

(in reply to bostondom55)

Post #: 26

RE: not replying to Dom's messages ? - 10/22/2011 11:18:45 AM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

And even if we are not inundated with mail, if we stop replying it might be because someone pushed too soon, said something wrong, or just felt empty.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheFireWithinMe

It isn't JUST that we are inundated with mail, we are inundated with mail from idiots
Fire

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to TheFireWithinMe)

Post #: 27

RE: not replying to Dom's messages ? - 10/22/2011 11:22:15 AM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

I'm not sure it's a good idea to send "enticing bdsm images" to ladies who have already iggied your mail. I don't want guys I'm not interested in sending me their idea of wank fodder. Nope. Not at all.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to LaughingVampire)

Post #: 28

RE: not replying to Dom's messages ? - 10/22/2011 11:35:18 AM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

I'm with Chrissie here. You send me bdsm pics and I assume you're only into the kink and nothing more. That usually results in the block button for me.

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 29

RE: not replying to Dom's messages ? - 10/22/2011 11:43:06 AM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

I'm not sure it's a good idea to send "enticing bdsm images" to ladies who have already iggied your mail. I don't want guys I'm not interested in sending me their idea of wank fodder. Nope. Not at all.

Exactly what I was going to say. Sending me kinky pictures would presume a level of intimacy and compatibility that I probably don't have with someone I am beginning to know, and a fast lane to having me never speak with you again. When I cut off contact with no explanation most of the times it's because a guy has crossed the line of presuming too much and/or pushing too hard in the areas of sex and kink. If I have started seeing someone i have no issues telling the others I was talking to that I won't be continuing our contact and good luck with things. It's my feeling that if multiple women are just disappearing it's because they were made to feel uncomfortable.

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 30

RE: not replying to Dom's messages ? - 10/22/2011 12:04:42 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

I'm not sure it's a good idea to send "enticing bdsm images" to ladies who have already iggied your mail. I don't want guys I'm not interested in sending me their idea of wank fodder. Nope. Not at all.

Yup and unless it's really a chicken, I don't want a picture of your cock either.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 31

RE: not replying to Dom's messages ? - 10/22/2011 4:28:36 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaughingVampire

Send one last message, maybe including a couple of very enticing BDSM images that you think will appeal to them (pictures speak louder than words)

Creepy in the extreme, this.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to LaughingVampire)

Post #: 32

RE: not replying to Dom's messages ? - 10/22/2011 4:35:13 PM

MistressLilliana

Posts: 84
Joined: 1/7/2011
Status: offline

Obviously the ones who don't or stop replying aren't worth the time. They probably decided they weren't interested and aren't under obligation to say so. Besides, maybe not with you but many people who do say "sorry, not interested" or something of the sort end up getting bitched at because of it or get replies trying to change their minds...if they stop talking with you, yeah it sucks but move on. If they can stop talking to you so suddenly then they'll give up their position as a sub/slave that easily too..not point getting pissed about, just move on to the next.

_____________________________

http://patriciaschott.webs.com

(in reply to fragilepieces)

Post #: 33

RE: not replying to Dom's messages ? - 10/22/2011 6:54:10 PM

LaughingVampire

Posts: 10
Joined: 9/29/2011
Status: offline

Just for the record, I would only send a kinky picture when someone hasn't replied to a previous message (and only after a dialogue has already been established). By that point it doesn't matter if she blocks me. I go to their profile, check out their 'lives for'/'loves' sidebar. For example ~ see 'gags' listed so send a really beautiful photograph of a model with a ball-gag (not pics of my cock...). This is only done AFTER already having tried to establish a connection on an intellectual level, and to be honest I don't give a shit how the picture is received (think it's 'creepy', too bad). Nobody has ever blocked me as a result, and several subs have replied as a result (always positively), telling me how they like my taste or that the picture excited them.

I think the people in this thread need to take the age gap into consideration. I only search in the 18 to 30 range. The majority of females in that age group do not come onto the message boards and have vastly different tastes from the mature/elderly female subs who inhabit collarchat.

(in reply to MistressLilliana)

Post #: 34

RE: not replying to Dom's messages ? - 10/22/2011 7:28:32 PM

KatyShatter

Posts: 11
Joined: 10/20/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaughingVampire
I think the people in this thread need to take the age gap into consideration. I only search in the 18 to 30 range. The majority of females in that age group do not come onto the message boards and have vastly different tastes from the mature/elderly female subs who inhabit collarchat.

This is not necessarily true. Take me, for example, I'm nineteen, and while I haven't been here very long, I do find message boards to be quite interesting and a very nice learning experience. A lot of the time I don't respond to messages that seem like they're not just compatible with what I'm looking for either.

Maybe I'm misunderstanding you here (and it's possible I am, so please forgive me if so,) but when you're saying an age gap, do you mean when e-mailing someone? Because for me, as a nineteen year old, age doesn't really matter to a certain extent. Granted, someone talking to me who's ten or twelve years older than my own father probably isn't someone I'm going to continue e-mailing after the first few messages, but still, age gaps (for me, at least) isn't too much of a factor in whether or not I stop speaking to someone.

(in reply to LaughingVampire)

Post #: 35

RE: not replying to Dom's messages ? - 10/22/2011 7:34:22 PM

Hisprettybaby

Posts: 781
Joined: 4/13/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaughingVampire
the mature/elderly female subs who inhabit collarchat.

Mature and ELDERLY??

(in reply to LaughingVampire)

Post #: 36

RE: not replying to Dom's messages ? - 10/22/2011 7:44:06 PM

LaughingVampire

Posts: 10
Joined: 9/29/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyShatter

This is not necessarily true. Take me, for example, I'm nineteen, and while I haven't been here very long, I do find message boards to be quite interesting and a very nice learning experience. A lot of the time I don't respond to messages that seem like they're not just compatible with what I'm looking for either.

Maybe I'm misunderstanding you here (and it's possible I am, so please forgive me if so,) but when you're saying an age gap, do you mean when e-mailing someone? Because for me, as a nineteen year old, age doesn't really matter to a certain extent. Granted, someone talking to me who's ten or twelve years older than my own father probably isn't someone I'm going to continue e-mailing after the first few messages, but still, age gaps (for me, at least) isn't too much of a factor in whether or not I stop speaking to someone.

The age gap I was referring to is the one between the subs I generally talk to (on the other side) and the average age of the subs posting on this forum.

You have proven younger subs do come here, but I still think you are the exception. Or maybe just exceptional?

(in reply to KatyShatter)

Post #: 37

RE: not replying to Dom's messages ? - 10/22/2011 7:49:05 PM

KatyShatter

Posts: 11
Joined: 10/20/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaughingVampire

The age gap I was referring to is the one between the subs I generally talk to (on the other side) and the average age of the subs posting on this forum.

You have proven younger subs do come here, but I still think you are the exception. Or maybe just exceptional?

Ah, then that was my mistake, and I apologize.

But you give me too much credit there. It is possible I'm the exception to this, but I hope not.

(in reply to LaughingVampire)

Post #: 38

RE: not replying to Dom's messages ? - 10/22/2011 7:59:14 PM

HannahLynn

Posts: 687
Joined: 10/16/2011
From: where its fucking at.
Status: offline

quote:

I don't want guys I'm not interested in sending me their idea of wank fodder.

i do. go ahead guys, send me all the fucked up whacked out porn you want to. it's not going to get you anywhere, but i do like freaky ass porn.

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 39

RE: not replying to Dom's messages ? - 10/22/2011 8:06:19 PM

HannahLynn

Posts: 687
Joined: 10/16/2011
From: where its fucking at.
Status: offline

quote:

18 to 30 range

4 of us in that age group who are regular posters in our house.

quote:

vastly different tastes from the mature/elderly female subs who inhabit collarchat.

oh i get it, you've got some major fucking british understatement going on there, eh?

some of the old birds aren't even on the same fucking planet.

< Message edited by HannahLynn -- 10/22/2011 8:07:07 PM >

(in reply to LaughingVampire)

Post #: 40

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