RE: Coworker may unknowingly be submissive

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Coworker may unknowingly be submissive

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Coworker may unknowingly be submissive

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Coworker may unknowingly be submissive - 10/28/2011 1:39:03 PM

NocturnalStalker

Posts: 3858
Joined: 12/4/2010
Status: offline

quote:

i would say, just try to become friends, and then see what you can ascertain from there.

That's a great idea. Then you can hear about her talk about her boyfriend.

_____________________________

"The road I walk is paved in gold to glorify my platinum soul."

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: Coworker may unknowingly be submissive - 10/28/2011 1:40:18 PM

MissImmortalPain

Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chesterfieldmale

Couple of clarifications:

1. I am not her supervisor. I've been there about 7 months longer than she has and am far more comfortable with the tiny amount of technology that we use, but that's it.

2. The company almost openly encourages fraternization as long as it's not with a supervisor.

I would like to give some deep and meaningful advice but all I can find myself thinking now is....Where do you work that they actually do this.

_____________________________

It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure.

We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

(in reply to chesterfieldmale)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: Coworker may unknowingly be submissive - 10/28/2011 2:48:39 PM

chesterfieldmale

Posts: 12
Joined: 5/2/2011
Status: offline

@MissImmortalPain: A very large retail chain. In the training videos, they actually show an approved dating relationship between coworkers.

(in reply to MissImmortalPain)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: Coworker may unknowingly be submissive - 10/28/2011 3:23:06 PM

MissImmortalPain

Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline

Training videos do not mean they are actually encouraging you to do something. They are stating the only way they will tolerate such an action. They do the same thing in many places when it comes to things like drinking or smoking. I really sugget you check you bases carefully. There are many places that can, and do, use this sort of thing as a reason to fire a person.

< Message edited by MissImmortalPain -- 10/28/2011 3:26:15 PM >

_____________________________

It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure.

We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

(in reply to chesterfieldmale)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: Coworker may unknowingly be submissive - 10/28/2011 3:23:42 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Coworker = bad idea.

I will reiterate that shy and passive do not equal submissive. NOT EVERYONE IS KINKY. Lots of folks use "sir" and "ma'am" out of courtesy.

Tread carefully, get to know her as a person.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to DonGiovani)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: Coworker may unknowingly be submissive - 10/28/2011 3:46:14 PM

Alecta

Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline

I'm guilty in my vanilla life of calling men with seniority that I don't like "sir".

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Profile

Post #: 26

RE: Coworker may unknowingly be submissive - 10/28/2011 5:01:21 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

The basic assumption of the op is that confident equals dominant and passive equals submissive. Which I swear we just debunked on another thread.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Alecta)

Profile

Post #: 27

RE: Coworker may unknowingly be submissive - 10/28/2011 5:31:18 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Coworker = bad idea.

I will reiterate that shy and passive do not equal submissive. NOT EVERYONE IS KINKY. Lots of folks use "sir" and "ma'am" out of courtesy.

Tread carefully, get to know her as a person.

Yeah, I have to agree with this. Even if she is kinky, it could either be fantastic or end badly and blow up all over your job.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Profile

Post #: 28

RE: Coworker may unknowingly be submissive - 10/28/2011 5:56:14 PM

HannahLynn

Posts: 687
Joined: 10/16/2011
From: where its fucking at.
Status: offline

quote:

While dating someone you work with does work out for some, it can end in disaster for both if it doesnt.

the same fucking thing can be said about dating someone you don't work with. holy fuck, why is everybody such a fucking nervous nelly. take a fucking chance, you'll never get anything if you don't.

op, just do what you'd do if she was any other woman, date a few times and see where the fuck it goes, and just ignore all the fucking naysayers. they don't have a fucking clue, they are all to wound up in "success" to even try. be daring, if you are interested, then just fucking go for it. yea it may fuck up and be a major annoyance, but it may just be fucking perfection itself, and you'll never fucking know unless you take that chance.

personally, when i am on my death bed, i hope i have a fuck of a lot more in the "i wish i hadn't" column than in the "i wish i had". if you never take a chance, then what's the fucking point?

life is a fucking crap shoot, so grab the dice and throw.

(in reply to tj444)

Profile

Post #: 29

RE: Coworker may unknowingly be submissive - 10/28/2011 6:05:01 PM

tj444

Posts: 7574
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynn

quote:

While dating someone you work with does work out for some, it can end in disaster for both if it doesnt.
the same fucking thing can be said about dating someone you don't work with. holy fuck, why is everybody such a fucking nervous nelly. take a fucking chance, you'll never get anything if you don't.

The difference is that when you date someone you dont work with and it fucks up, you dont lose your job/sabotage your career on top of it all. Being girlfriendless and jobless in one swoop isnt most peoples idea of fun..

Now if this guy had said there is this cute shy girl at the bookstore next to my office and my toes crinkle up when she calls me "sir".. well,...

_____________________________

As Anderson Cooper said “If he (Trump) took a dump on his desk, you would defend it”

(in reply to HannahLynn)

Profile

Post #: 30

RE: Coworker may unknowingly be submissive - 10/28/2011 6:12:22 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynn

quote:

While dating someone you work with does work out for some, it can end in disaster for both if it doesnt.

the same fucking thing can be said about dating someone you don't work with. holy fuck, why is everybody such a fucking nervous nelly. take a fucking chance, you'll never get anything if you don't.

quote:

life is a fucking crap shoot, so grab the dice and throw.

Actually, it isn't the same at all. Someone outside of work, things don't work out, you can avoid them and never see them again. You work with them, you can't avoid them. Have an argument? See how many people can manage to NOT bring that to work with them when the person they are arguing with is face to face.

Life is a fucking crap shoot. But when you roll those dice, best to hedge your bets and only risk one thing at a time. Take a chance on a relationship, sure. Take a chance on a job, sure. Take a chance on a relationship with someone at your job? In this economy, losing a job isn't worth the risk.

That, coupled with the OPs' main interest seeming to be that he wants to find out if she is submissive, not that she has shown the slightest interest in HIM. We all said, get to be her friend, find out if a relationship might be in the future. From what he posts, the only risk he is actually taking is losing his job for sexual harassment by trying to "find out" if she is submissive. Not something for the workplace.

(in reply to HannahLynn)

Profile

Post #: 31

RE: Coworker may unknowingly be submissive - 10/28/2011 7:07:17 PM

HannahLynn

Posts: 687
Joined: 10/16/2011
From: where its fucking at.
Status: offline

quote:

you dont lose your job/sabotage your career on top of it all.

and just how the fuck would breaking up with your girl lose you your fucking job or ruin your career? come on people, let's be just a little fucking realistic here, enough of the twilight zone shit.

(in reply to tj444)

Profile

Post #: 32

RE: Coworker may unknowingly be submissive - 10/28/2011 7:10:22 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

here in the States it's "at will" firing in most states meaning they don't have to have a reason for firing you and meaning that the tension between two coworkers dating and the disruption of the tension upon breakup can get you fired. Also here in the States many employers have a clause saying there can be no fraternization among coworkers or supervisors and employees. You break this rule and you get fired.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to HannahLynn)

Profile

Post #: 33

RE: Coworker may unknowingly be submissive - 10/28/2011 7:12:43 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynn

quote:

you dont lose your job/sabotage your career on top of it all.
and just how the fuck would breaking up with your girl lose you your fucking job or ruin your career? come on people, let's be just a little fucking realistic here, enough of the twilight zone shit.

Because far too frequently, after the breakup, the two people can't work together and so someone goes. The guy is in retail, so I wouldn't exactly call it a "career," but since they had "training" videos, yea that is the kind of company that will fire one or both of the employees over little stuff.

There is also always the possibility that should they break up, she may not want to have to see him everyday, and report to managers that it is a problem.

This isn't twilight zone shit. The is the real fucking business world.

(in reply to HannahLynn)

Profile

Post #: 34

RE: Coworker may unknowingly be submissive - 10/28/2011 7:13:20 PM

HannahLynn

Posts: 687
Joined: 10/16/2011
From: where its fucking at.
Status: offline

quote:

Have an argument? See how many people can manage to NOT bring that to work with them when the person they are arguing with is face to face.

i can, i don't know what the fuck is wrong with people who can't, its about as hard as finding a drunk at closing time.

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

Profile

Post #: 35

RE: Coworker may unknowingly be submissive - 10/28/2011 7:16:57 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

Yea, but we aren't talking about what you can or can't do. It makes for a very uncomfortable work environment for everyone and management's solution is to get rid of one or both. That's why most have "non-fraternization" rules. They don't want to deal with it.

(in reply to HannahLynn)

Profile

Post #: 36

RE: Coworker may unknowingly be submissive - 10/28/2011 7:18:14 PM

HannahLynn

Posts: 687
Joined: 10/16/2011
From: where its fucking at.
Status: offline

quote:

Because far too frequently, after the breakup, the two people can't work together and so someone goes. The guy is in retail, so I wouldn't exactly call it a "career," but since they had "training" videos, yea that is the kind of company that will fire one or both of the employees over little stuff.

There is also always the possibility that should they break up, she may not want to have to see him everyday, and report to managers that it is a problem.

and the next girl he ties up and flogs might decide to press charges, hell the next girl he fucks might cry rape. hell the girl down the street might accuse him of rape just for fucking kicks. i guess he should just become a fucking shut in with 12 locks on his door.

you're all being way to fucking paranoid. see op, i was right, they're afraid of their fucking shadows around this place.

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

Profile

Post #: 37

RE: Coworker may unknowingly be submissive - 10/28/2011 7:19:49 PM

HannahLynn

Posts: 687
Joined: 10/16/2011
From: where its fucking at.
Status: offline

quote:

That's why most have "non-fraternization" rules.

which they don't have at his work, so that's fucking irrelevant.

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

Profile

Post #: 38

RE: Coworker may unknowingly be submissive - 10/28/2011 7:20:59 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

Most have no desire to lose their jobs

But if the guy doesn't mind looking for another job then go for it!

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to HannahLynn)

Profile

Post #: 39

RE: Coworker may unknowingly be submissive - 10/28/2011 7:34:22 PM

HannahLynn

Posts: 687
Joined: 10/16/2011
From: where its fucking at.
Status: offline

fuck off with the losing your job shit. that isn't going to happen from asking her out on a fucking date. christ on a cupcake people, be realistic, he's not talking about banging her ass in the store room, he's asking about how to go about finding out if she is the submissive he thinks she is.

fucking hell, how do any of you manage to get laid with this pessimistic worst case scenario attitude you all have? that's what i'd like to know.

(in reply to littlewonder)

Profile

Post #: 40