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animosity, revenge and just general pissed off - 5/25/2006 6:34:24 PM

fastlane

Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline

When you send a sub/slave away?
I already hear you...so STOP! (it depends on how you do it, and you should be honest and communication is essential)
I agree...O.K. I agree!
But, don't we all screw up from time to time?
I have never abused a slave and have always held them in respect. They know that....I know! I also know that if many of the one's that condemn me on here, because they have taken sides, just aks, that the ones that are in question would have to agree. They may have been hurt, but it was only because they wanted to be loved by me and they feel I led them on. Not intenionally, which I wish they would understand.
My problem is telling someone I didn't want to be with them, after I have been, some one else has come along who I want to explore. Has anyone else had to deal with this? So I led them on, is what everyone wants to think. Perhaps, I did, but not because I wanted to be an asshole, only because I was unsure of what I was searching for and needing at the time.
It is my weakness and it is something I'm not proud of, but is also not habitual. It happened ONE TIME, that doesn't make it right, this I know.
However, I will say this. I've been on collar me for two years and have been with four people.
That is it, that's the list...does that make me a player? I think many on here think that I am...I'm not...O.K. I am not!
I think many have played with four people in one night and more power to them. I'm just so sick and tired of being sick and tired of defending myself. My big mistake of having two submissives that did not know about each other has happened only once, and was aired on the boards and still scars me toda y. I blame myself for the wrong intentions, but blame everyone else for making the wrong assumptions. If the parties involved were honest, they would say I never treated either one of them bad and they enjoyed their time with me. I was trying to decide who I wanted to be with and did not want to tell either one about the other...until I decided.
I'm not a player, I fucked up one time and now I continually have to answer for it. I'm tired of it, I'm human, give me a break..please.
Just venting tonight and soooooo tired of defending myself.
There are so many abuser and ass hole Doms out there to point the finger at...if you all want to continue to point at me instead.....then, I am obviously in the wrong place.
Kevin

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

Post #: 1

RE: animosity, revenge and just general pissed off - 5/25/2006 6:41:42 PM

CrappyDom

Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

This is a hard topic. When new, we all get a bit "greedy" however, I greatly limit those I play with for this very reason. I have left enough broken and bruised hearts behind and wish to do so no more. It isn't easy, it isn't even rewarding, but it is the right thing to do.

(in reply to fastlane)

Post #: 2

RE: animosity, revenge and just general pissed off - 5/25/2006 6:57:24 PM

desertdancer

Posts: 1095
Joined: 5/12/2006
Status: offline

Wow Fastlane... I have no idea what happened and I don't want to, but I do have to say, you really are ownning this. Your taking responsibility for whatever happened and that alone is something for you personally to be proud of. Look it sounds like you made a mistake, so what. Your human, everyone makes them, and it's clear that your feeling poorly for it and that you've learned whatever personal lesson that you needed to. Now you've owned up, you've learned and now publically said your sorry nothing left for you to do there, let it go. Be done with it, don't beat yourself up to the point that you do damage and don't let others do that to you either. The only thing that you can do when you mess up is learn from it, your doing that, so time to let go, if others have issues, well that's they're problem, it's no longer yours...

Good luck you,
dancer

Edided 'cause I still can't spell ;)

< Message edited by desertdancer -- 5/25/2006 6:58:02 PM >

(in reply to CrappyDom)

Post #: 3

RE: animosity, revenge and just general pissed off - 5/25/2006 6:57:40 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

Work on yourself, be a better person, and someone will see your worth and this will be in the past. Be the kind of person you want to be with. I will be honest Kevin, if I was looking I would wonder if someone who had done this would be honest with me... being honest is not easy, it is hard to let someone down.. I have done it and it is HARD. Sometimes we have to be cruel to be kind and most submissives would understand this, but we don't understand being lied to, it hurts 100 times worse because it affects your ability to trust again. If people think you are a player, well it is because of your choices. Make new choices each day and have them reflect who you really are, when it is time the past will melt away, until then do your Kharma and get right with the world...Good luck

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to fastlane)

Post #: 4

RE: animosity, revenge and just general pissed off - 5/25/2006 7:05:41 PM

fastlane

Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline

I dunno what to say...I wish I could name, names and say help, explain, what did I do wrong? I can't.
It was all aired out in the past, but it was not clear or concise and so many who have been here for awhile were taking sides. Hell, I would have to, from what was said......the wrong one.
I know I'm going to take flack from this too, but I didn't post it with ill intent, I posted because I'm tired of the prejudice towards me.
Enough said....Kevin

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 5

RE: animosity, revenge and just general pissed off - 5/25/2006 7:10:29 PM

fastlane

Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline

I'm going back to being funny......I hate all this serious shiat...but it's off my chest...take it as you will.
Toleration is what makes friends tick....Kevin

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to fastlane)

Post #: 6

RE: animosity, revenge and just general pissed off - 5/25/2006 7:16:05 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

I do not have any hard feelings, I am still a newbie here... so not prejudiced at all.. and I am sorry your "dirty laundry" was aired.. I am not a fan of doing this and don't do it myself. I also tend not to take sides when people air their problems with each other because I know there are things I will never know the full extent of....

Anyways,... funny is good!..smiles!

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to fastlane)

Post #: 7

RE: animosity, revenge and just general pissed off - 5/25/2006 7:18:31 PM

desertdancer

Posts: 1095
Joined: 5/12/2006
Status: offline

Yaaay we get our silly Fastlane back. Welcome back Oh LordO'Laughter

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 8

RE: animosity, revenge and just general pissed off - 5/25/2006 7:23:06 PM

LaMalinche

Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline

Dear Fastlane,

This horse is dead. You can stop flogging it at any time.

We all do things in our lives that we are not particularly proud of. The important thing is to learn from it and not create the same situation for yourself again.

Fastlane, you are a good person, you write touching posts about your sons, and you are always ready with something positive to say when people hook up.

You do make a lot of smart-assed comments on the board, but not I think in the spirit of meanness.

I hope that you are able to move beyond this soon. Give yourself absolution, and remember what you learned.

Oh, and if others want to keep giving you grief about it. . . Well KILL them. At least ignore them, they will go away soon enough. The block button is wonderful that way.

Best,

LaMalinche

(in reply to CrappyDom)

Post #: 9

RE: animosity, revenge and just general pissed off - 5/25/2006 7:25:20 PM

fastlane

Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline

looks up and not smiles at you both, thank you.
I'm not pointing fingers either, but sooner or later this thread will explode with Fastlane haters.
O.K., I know there is one out there..don't make me a liar now, because I am Knot.
Damn, I love knots....any takers?

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to desertdancer)

Post #: 10

RE: animosity, revenge and just general pissed off - 5/25/2006 7:26:28 PM

feastie

Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline

Heck, I have no clue what you're talkin about, Kevin. From your words, I can glean that you screwed up. Some people never get over someone that's "done them wrong", no matter if the perception is correct or not. If others are taking what someone else is spreading about you as carved in stone, there's nothing really you can do except be a stand-up guy. By that I mean, make sure you're not engaging in those same behaviors that earned you this...hmmm...name. Be who you are and be honest about it. And if someone is listening to others instead of you, well then...you haven't lost anything, have you?

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to desertdancer)

Post #: 11

RE: animosity, revenge and just general pissed off - 5/25/2006 7:27:20 PM

Bearlee

Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline

There was prejudice toward you? Okay, I'm 'fairly' new here...but I'm under the impression you are well liked! <shrugs> I'm with the other...you said you're sorry; chit happens, you owned it. Let it go, sweetie...

beverly

(in reply to desertdancer)

Post #: 12

RE: animosity, revenge and just general pissed off - 5/25/2006 7:28:37 PM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

I'm not a player, I fucked up one time and now I continually have to answer for it. I'm tired of it, I'm human, give me a break..please.
Just venting tonight and soooooo tired of defending myself.
There are so many abuser and ass hole Doms out there to point the finger at...if you all want to continue to point at me instead.....then, I am obviously in the wrong place.
Kevin

i do not know the intimate details of Your personal life and would never presume on You to disclose them....You would have to be the One to offer me entre' into Your world. However, as a poster, i have always respected You for Your much-needed wit, compassion, and sheer delight with life.

If another poster(s) has brought Your personal business into the forums, they have probably violated the TOS and perhaps a note to the Mods is in order. To me, what begins in private should remain in private.

Then, of course, there's always the handy-dandy "block" button; i find the forums much more peaceful with certain posters blocked at least for a time. Some bulls**t is -- honestly -- beneath me to respond to.

i hope You realise not A/all of U/us know wtf happened; will not pry; and hold You in high regard.

candystripper

(in reply to fastlane)

Post #: 13

RE: animosity, revenge and just general pissed off - 5/25/2006 7:29:39 PM

smilezz

Posts: 2156
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Damn, I love knots....any takers?

As in Don? *chucklez*

~smilezz~

_____________________________

=It's not my fault that when I was a baby I was dropped in a box of Glitter & I have been shinin' ever since=

�*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,-:* �

(in reply to fastlane)

Post #: 14

RE: animosity, revenge and just general pissed off - 5/25/2006 7:39:28 PM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

If you are tired of defending yourself, then why are you?

Spit out the grizzle fastlane and move on, no more, done, finished.

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to fastlane)

Post #: 15

RE: animosity, revenge and just general pissed off - 5/25/2006 9:19:11 PM

petcerina

Posts: 143
Joined: 4/4/2005
Status: offline

i don't see any evidence that others hate you. Personally, i wish i could meet you. However, my travel is limited to Texas, but if you ever come down to a munch in Dallas, look me up. You sound like a great person to hang out with.

(in reply to MHOO314)

Post #: 16

RE: animosity, revenge and just general pissed off - 5/25/2006 9:24:47 PM

OhBeMyMind

Posts: 845
Joined: 11/19/2004
From: Panama City, Florida
Status: offline

Alright, so you (admittedly) screwed up, your private business was made public (not cool...but it happens), but like desertdancer said...you have owned it....from what you say it sounds like you have owned it several times over.....let it go. If someone brings it up, and you don't care to respond yet that little something inside you just can't let it go, give them the big one-two ...

.....and leave it at that. I think sometimes, more often that not, the people that thrive on causing unrest pin point people they think are easy targets, which basically boils down to, if they know it bothers you and know they will get a reaction out of you then they will continue to do and say things that will provoke you. Why give someone the satisfaction? Why give someone that kind of power over you (unless you are into that kind of thing, which it sounds like you are not), to goad you into defending yourself?
Seems it's in the past, leave it there if that is truly where you want it to be. I do not think randomly bringing it up when you may be feeling off-kilter helps at all.

_____________________________

~oh

~*~I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not~*~

~she'll tease you, she'll unease you, all the better just to please you~ K.C

~Well would you look at that! My give-a-damn just broke~

(in reply to MHOO314)

Post #: 17

RE: animosity, revenge and just general pissed off - 5/26/2006 3:59:52 AM

SirCumsSlut

Posts: 433
Joined: 4/30/2005
Status: offline

I too enjoy your humor and your posts......so imho to those that would rake you over the coals............

FUCK EM AND FEED EM FISH HEADS....(fish heads fish heads rolly polly fish heads.....fish heads fish heads eat em up yum)

_____________________________

Peace
His slut

"Your firm hand and compassionate heart are what guide me in my journey....I am Yours, Sir" His slut

(in reply to OhBeMyMind)

Post #: 18

RE: animosity, revenge and just general pissed off - 5/26/2006 4:35:08 AM

Divinesub

Posts: 11
Joined: 4/16/2006
Status: offline

I'm not a player, I fucked up one time and now I continually have to answer for it. I'm tired of it, I'm human, give me a break..please.
Just venting tonight and soooooo tired of defending myself.

The beauty of being in a small community. Whether you intentionally hurt someone or not, it is your responsibility to be honest and own up to it up front, preferably before it reaches the public consciousness and to help the other party heal.

Trust not that your partner will never make a mistake or never hurt you.
Trust instead in their commitment to you, that they will do their best *not* to hurt you, and that if and when hurt occurs they will do their best to help you heal.

(in reply to fastlane)

Post #: 19

RE: animosity, revenge and just general pissed off - 5/26/2006 4:59:39 AM

talibahh

Posts: 389
Joined: 4/9/2006
From: NSW Australia
Status: offline

Like most of the others, i don't know what has happened in the PAST, and i dont wish to know either. i agree it should be left there. But sometimes when You are one who has a kind heart, who does not take joy in hurting others and regreats their actions so much, it is hard to let it go. When You are genuine and caring, it does hurt to know You have hurt others. Especially when it has been unintentional. So You fucked up! Who hasn't? One of my favourite sayings come from the Bible... *he who is without sin may cast the first stone*

You are one of the Doms on here who i truly admire and respect. i always enjoy reading Your posts. i find them to be funny, witty, genuine and enlightening. Often i see that You do not like to be judgmental of others and try to be positive. You are one of the most genuine people on the boards, IMHO. You have every right to be here like any of us.

So You have some enemies who are too immature and spiteful to let what happened in the past go. If they want for it to continue eating at them, then let it, but my advice to You is to let it go, rise above it, learn from it, grow from it, move on, and be happy. They will hate this more than anything else You could do.

And i also believe that one day, You will find Your sub/slave, and she will trust You because You have been Man enough to be both honest and strong enough to air in public that You are human by admitting You do make mistakes and regret them, and learn from them. It is obvious to me that You have already learnt from this. And she will see that You are not one of these great *I AM, all powerful, all knowing, omnipont masters*. she will be mature enough to see You are genuine and human, and respect You for this. And i also believe that she will be a very lucky sub/slave indeed.

So don't go anywhere Kevin... this place needs You and Your wit... it just wouldn't be the same here without You...

and like the others said... use that block button... oh wait! You already have... on me! So You wont be able to see this post anyway... sheesh! tali has just wasted all this time posting... oh well!

respectfully,
tali

_____________________________

"It is a mistake to try to look too far ahead. The chain of destiny can only be grasped one link at a time" ~ Sir Winston Churchill

in giving You my freedom, i gain the freedom to be me ...
~ tali ~

(in reply to SirCumsSlut)

Post #: 20

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