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ORIGINAL: DesFIP

http://www.infertile.com/inthenew/sci/maleage.htm

Scroll down a bit and it talks about the male refractory period. As well as the ability to have an erection hard enough for intercourse.

I think you two have been with men more on the outlier of the bell curve, not the ones in the middle.

So yeah, I reiterate, how is she going to stay curious and interested in sex when she's never getting any?

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ORIGINAL: TreasureKY

Perhaps you've been with much younger men up to this point? 

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ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I think that Ishtarr's general hotness is a contributing factor. Just saying.

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but I'm rather shocked to hear that it's supposedly unusual for a a man of 35 to be able to cum twice a day.

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Really, a red bracelet AND a brown bracelet?  Where in the world did you come up with THAT one?

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ORIGINAL: TreasureKY

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ORIGINAL: Ishtarr

You don't offer anything concrete that may measure up to the long long list of demands you pose on her.

I hate to say it this way, but in my experience, I've found that... generally... in maledom/femsub relationships, the women do bear a much larger burden of measurable responsibilities.  For some odd reason, male dominants are rather loathed to accept expectations... and much less so, actual lists of physical chores for which they are regularly responsible. 

lol... And if the man can find a way to shove any of his off on his woman, he will. 

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ORIGINAL: Ishtarr

Offering nothing concrete may work to snag a woman who is naive and desperate, but most women, including the submissive/slave ones, that have been around the block once or twice, know better than to get trapped in a relationship where the man has got nothing better to offer than "I care about you".

It's fine if he expects a woman to work two full time jobs, one in and one outside the house, but if he wants that deal to stick, he better have something DAMN good to offer in return.

Something other than: "on top of you taking care of everything, you're also a vehicle for me to get my kinks fulfilled, and what you're getting out of the relationship is the privilege of being my dream woman".

Even service orientated slave type have SOMETHING they imagine getting out of the relationship that's fulfilling to them, if nothing else than the fact that the person they are service is absolutely amazing.
If he wants that kind of women, he better convey to her somehow that he is so absolutely amazing that he's "worthy" of service like that.

Ishtar

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ORIGINAL: Kaliko

Where does he say that he expects her to do everything and him to sit back and reap all the benefits without doing anything? He says he intends to give her a happy, healthy, safe place to live, and to communicate, and help make the house a home, and he expresses his love. How is any of this bad?

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ORIGINAL: revmick82

Here's a  working list of "House rules"... <snip>

Let me know your thoughts.  
 

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ORIGINAL: revmick82

So, good start. Yes my items were vague goals. Hers were chores. This goes down all sorts of interesting roads. Was that intentional on my part? Did she write my "goals"? Did I write it all? What is the nature of division of labor? Any of these would be good questions. 

Instead you chose to run with the fundamental attribution error, and start attacking.

Please exit stage right. You are not adding any value here.  

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ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt

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ORIGINAL: revmick82

Here's a  working list of "House rules"... <snip>

Let me know your thoughts.  
 

OP, if I handed a list like that to each of my two partners, S would use it to wipe his ass after a particularly satisfying poop, and Cabin Boy would attempt to see if his pipe wrench would adjust enough to fit up my nose.

Seriously, they are grown men and I'm a grown woman. They've stood by me for 10 years through some of the toughest stuff anyone could have thrown at them, and vice versa. If they miss a day 'adoring' me, I'll live. I don't need constant reassurance from them x number of times per day that they're committed and loving. Each has proven it in his own way, over and over again. We love 24/7 but we don't scene 24/7, thank gawd.

You mentioned your partnerships fizzle in 2-3 years and wonder why. How have I managed to keep 2 good men for 10 years? By encouraging them to be themselves, serving in ways they enjoy, are strong in and to the extent that works for them without feeling put upon or taken advantage of. That's also why there are two of them and one of me; this ratio seems to get everyone's needs adequately met. Interestingly enough, the less I blatantly try to manage and control them the happier they are to do what I want done. Other than in the very beginning when it was prudent to exchange bdsm checklists, there are no guides, no grueling discussions, and no power struggle. I lovingly mention I want or need something and it's taken care of. If there's something they want, they speak up about it. It's pretty damn simple, actually.

As for the bracelet thingie; jeeeeesh, how old are your partners? 4? For that matter, aren't you a little old for that 'system' too? I'm surprised you don't make your partner hold up her finger(s) for number 1 and 2. In my house if somebody is having a bad butt day, he just says so. If somebody has to pee, he can just go. I have much better things to do with my time than monitor two grown men's use of the bathroom.

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Excellent response.   I agree completely.   Except if S flushed the list something that huge (the long wordy list) would clog the toilet and there is no colored bracelet for toilet troubles.  

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ORIGINAL: Ishtarr

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ORIGINAL: Kaliko

Where does he say that he expects her to do everything and him to sit back and reap all the benefits without doing anything? He says he intends to give her a happy, healthy, safe place to live, and to communicate, and help make the house a home, and he expresses his love. How is any of this bad?

It's not bad, it's just not much of an offer.
It's the bare minimum people in a relationship should be offering each other before even considering moving in together.

There is nothing on that list he wouldn't expect from her in addition to the list of specific expectations he has for her. Everything he "offers" is a quid pro quo of the relationship he's wanting, she's expected to give all those things as well. Well, everything expect the poor communication under stress, seeing that he actually expects her to be a good communicator by ordering her by means of a list of rules to be such.
How does doing things that are self-evident live up to "I want you to take care of everything, jump at my every whim, be my personal sex toy on TOP of expecting you to do ALL the indirect things I promised you I'm offering you"?

I just don't see him offering anything at all...

Ishtar

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ORIGINAL: revmick82

Here's a  working list of "House rules" I've had since the first time I invited a woman to live with me; about a decade ago. Since then, she left and two others have come and gone, all stuck around for 2-3 years (yes I know it's a pattern, I'll address that in later posts) Let me know your thoughts.  
 
My promise to you

I am here for you, to adore and endure you.

I will stay curious and discover any way I can make your life better.

You mean more to me than any metaphor can express.

I am a poor communicator when I am stressed, but I’m working on it.

You have a space in my heart that will never grow cold.

I invited you to live with me because I love you deeply.

I intend to give you a happy, healthy and safe place to live.

I will stay curious and open minded about your mental and physical needs.

I will communicate honestly and openly with you.

I will help make this space a home for us.

Our Quality time

Make sure music, food and drink are ready for my homecoming.

Express yourself openly, but always respectfully.

Request permission to leave when you have need, make lip to skin contact if granted.
“May I go pee”, “May I go to work”, “May I check on dinner”

Your Binder

Keep your binder in the middle drawer beneath the fish tank.

Write titles and guides in block letters.

Write content in script.

Practice exceedingly neat and elegant penmanship.

Illuminate  each page after I review it’s content.

Type and email me each page of content.

Keep a list of Home Rules.

Journal daily, 250 word minimum.

Keep an evolving section of best practices that we make up together.

Your Communication

Speak freely, but respectfully.

Observe courtesies in all phone and written communication with me.
“only if it pleases you”, “not unless it pleases you”,  “your obedient servant”, etc

Lips to foot, verbally surrender your mind and body each morning.
“I love you -------. My body and mind are yours. Your wish is my command.”

Grant me all that is yours each morning.
“As I am yours, all that is mine is yours.”

Your Correction

Recognize that I am correcting behavior, not the inner you that I’ve grown to love.

If my correction causes physical or emotional distress, express this in a respectful manner.

Bear corrections with grace and dignity.

Your Dress and Hygiene

Shave your body daily

Wear a red bracelet on your left wrist when menstruating.

Wear a brown bracelet on your left wrist when you are having colon trouble.

House clothes have an open bottom, no panties unless menstruating

No street clothes beyond the curtains unless company is present

Paint all your nails the same.

Mark “POMS” on your body daily.

Your Household duties

No dirty dishes left overnight.

No garbage in the home overnight.

Do laundry as soon as there is a full load.

Hang our next days apparel out the night before.

Write the next days weather forecast on the bathroom mirror in dry erase.

Tables, counters and floors are clean and clutter free before bed.

Keep a grocery list on the refrigerator.

Plan meals in advance.

Make the bed each morning.

Iron my clothes immediately after wear (if not soiled) or wash.

Make coffee each morning. Pour one cup and one thermos full.

Your sexual duties

Find ways to stay curious.

Maintain absolute availability.

Maintain fidelity, whatever we decide that means.

Recognize the cycle of our sex drives as they rise and fall.

Offer oral sex more than twice daily.

Attempt good morning and good night, blow-jobs daily.

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In the military, especially in combat or near combat conditions, the idiot officer who rants and raves because soldiers aren't maintaining proper shaves, shines and haircuts and other things not exactly related to staying alive, is likely to end up with a revolt, if not being likely to end up killed by his own troups, because in doing so he is totally ignoring reality.

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ORIGINAL: kalikshama

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In the military, especially in combat or near combat conditions, the idiot officer who rants and raves because soldiers aren't maintaining proper shaves, shines and haircuts and other things not exactly related to staying alive, is likely to end up with a revolt, if not being likely to end up killed by his own troups, because in doing so he is totally ignoring reality.

This has nothing to do with either the realities of military life or the OP. Analogy FAIL.