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RE: House Rules - 11/3/2011 4:59:10 PM   
TheFireWithinMe


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From: The Depths of Hell
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Mon Dieu!!!! I have made a heineous, grevious social and political faux pas in my list...here it is revised.

1. Blow me
2. make supper
3. get me a beer
4. Blow me
5. I am going to read a book, or watch tv there is a warm bubbly soothing bath for you to soak in the candles are lit there is a chilled glass of white wine on the edge and chocolates in the basket near it. And, if it isn't a huge impostion, when you get done and dried off and in your snugglies:
6. blow me
7. Start at one, above.


Surprising that no one caught it....
Nevertheless; my apologies to all.

Personally I was too focused on numbers 1,4, and 6 to notice


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(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 101
RE: House Rules - 11/3/2011 5:00:59 PM   
Kaliko


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Joined: 9/25/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko

It might be worth it to add - I love lists. Nothing would make me happier than to have a list left for me everyday of what is expected of me. So, a perpetual list is maybe not such a bad idea. Perhaps those that bristle at the thought of a list wouldn't find fulfillment in checking things off a list like I do.
I'm a list maker and I love lists. That list would still drive me insane. There's no room for real life on it.




I was originally going to say "I agree" but then I took another look at the list.

Our Quality time

Make sure music, food and drink are ready for my homecoming. I would consider having "dinner on the table" as a normal course of activity in any relationship I'm in.

Express yourself openly, but always respectfully. Absolutely normal behavior.

Request permission to leave when you have need, make lip to skin contact if granted.
“May I go pee”, “May I go to work”, “May I check on dinner” This seems unrealistic.

Your Binder
Keep your binder in the middle drawer beneath the fish tank.
Write titles and guides in block letters.
Write content in script.
Practice exceedingly neat and elegant penmanship.
Illuminate each page after I review it’s content.
Type and email me each page of content.
Keep a list of Home Rules.
Journal daily, 250 word minimum. I'm not sure what's in the binder other than the Home Rules and journaling, but it interests me. Doesn't seem too outlandish. Kind of like a scrapbook of sorts, only illuminated. :)

Keep an evolving section of best practices that we make up together. And I actually think this is kind of nice.

Your Communication

Speak freely, but respectfully. More normal, expected behavior.


Observe courtesies in all phone and written communication with me.
“only if it pleases you”, “not unless it pleases you”, “your obedient servant”, etc
Lips to foot, verbally surrender your mind and body each morning.
“I love you -------. My body and mind are yours. Your wish is my command.”
Grant me all that is yours each morning.
“As I am yours, all that is mine is yours.” These would all get old and/or lose their meaning, as someone has already said.

Your Correction

Recognize that I am correcting behavior, not the inner you that I’ve grown to love.
If my correction causes physical or emotional distress, express this in a respectful manner.
Bear corrections with grace and dignity. All normal.


Your Dress and Hygiene

Shave your body daily
Wear a red bracelet on your left wrist when menstruating.
Wear a brown bracelet on your left wrist when you are having colon trouble.
House clothes have an open bottom, no panties unless menstruating
No street clothes beyond the curtains unless company is present
Paint all your nails the same.
Mark “POMS” on your body daily. This is where it falls apart for me. Never mind the bracelets, I love my flannels and comfy pants, with closed bottoms and all. The nail painting I can see, as well as the marking, but the rest seems unrealistic.

Your Household duties
No dirty dishes left overnight.
No garbage in the home overnight.
Do laundry as soon as there is a full load.
Hang our next days apparel out the night before.
Write the next days weather forecast on the bathroom mirror in dry erase.
Tables, counters and floors are clean and clutter free before bed.
Keep a grocery list on the refrigerator.
Plan meals in advance.
Make the bed each morning.
Iron my clothes immediately after wear (if not soiled) or wash.
Make coffee each morning. Pour one cup and one thermos full. I see most of this as expected, except for maybe having to jump to do ironing or the laundry. Also, no garbage in the home overnight might mean a lot of half-filled bags in the dumpster - kind of a waste of plastic bags.

Your sexual duties
Find ways to stay curious.
Maintain absolute availability.
Maintain fidelity, whatever we decide that means.
Recognize the cycle of our sex drives as they rise and fall.
Offer oral sex more than twice daily.
Attempt good morning and good night, blow-jobs daily. Nothing too odd here, I don't think. A morning and and evening oral sex session doesn't seem too much to expect, but it does seem to kill the spontaneous a bit, I think. And perhaps it could get a wee bit tiring?

So, all in all, I don't think it's really all that unrealistic, though there are certainly a few pieces here and there that I would not be able to follow, myself.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 102
RE: House Rules - 11/3/2011 5:01:43 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
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no your whatevers, spongebobs, ratty fuckin robe from the 70's towel on the head whatever.

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to fragilepieces)
Profile   Post #: 103
RE: House Rules - 11/3/2011 5:02:28 PM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Mon Dieu!!!! I have made a heineous, grevious social and political faux pas in my list...here it is revised.

1. Blow me
2. make supper
3. get me a beer
4. Blow me
5. I am going to read a book, or watch tv there is a warm bubbly soothing bath for you to soak in the candles are lit there is a chilled glass of white wine on the edge and chocolates in the basket near it. And, if it isn't a huge impostion, when you get done and dried off and in your snugglies:
6. blow me
7. Start at one, above.


Surprising that no one caught it....
Nevertheless; my apologies to all.


Well, that just completely ruined it for me.

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 104
RE: House Rules - 11/3/2011 5:03:07 PM   
TheFireWithinMe


Posts: 1672
Joined: 10/3/2011
From: The Depths of Hell
Status: offline
Heh I assumed nakedness. Silly me.

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There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast. ~Author Unknown

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 105
RE: House Rules - 11/3/2011 5:06:37 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline
I dont like cold wet hair all up in my junk.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to TheFireWithinMe)
Profile   Post #: 106
RE: House Rules - 11/3/2011 5:11:03 PM   
TheFireWithinMe


Posts: 1672
Joined: 10/3/2011
From: The Depths of Hell
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

I dont like cold wet hair all up in my junk.


Okay we've hit a snag, I don't like cum on my clothes. What now?

_____________________________

Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags

There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast. ~Author Unknown

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 107
RE: House Rules - 11/3/2011 5:12:10 PM   
fragilepieces


Posts: 416
Joined: 7/6/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

no your whatevers, spongebobs, ratty fuckin robe from the 70's towel on the head whatever.
   Gotcha wish I was small enough to fit in my ratty fucking robe from the 70's god damn it.  


_____________________________

Me to Daddy: Now you'll think I'm a weirdo
Him: I love you BECAUSE you ARE a weirdo.

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 108
RE: House Rules - 11/3/2011 5:14:08 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheFireWithinMe


quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

I dont like cold wet hair all up in my junk.


Okay we've hit a snag, I don't like cum on my clothes. What now?



there should be no concievable reason in this world for it to be on your clothing.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to TheFireWithinMe)
Profile   Post #: 109
RE: House Rules - 11/3/2011 5:18:01 PM   
TheFireWithinMe


Posts: 1672
Joined: 10/3/2011
From: The Depths of Hell
Status: offline
<thinks> True plus winter's coming. See ya soon.

_____________________________

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There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast. ~Author Unknown

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 110
RE: House Rules - 11/3/2011 5:25:33 PM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline
quote:

genitally coach an item or two


I just coughed up a damn good hit off a damn good doobie thanks to that!  You owe me!


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yep

(in reply to revmick82)
Profile   Post #: 111
RE: House Rules - 11/3/2011 5:28:01 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko


quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Mon Dieu!!!! I have made a heineous, grevious social and political faux pas in my list...here it is revised.

1. Blow me
2. make supper
3. get me a beer
4. Blow me
5. I am going to read a book, or watch tv there is a warm bubbly soothing bath for you to soak in the candles are lit there is a chilled glass of white wine on the edge and chocolates in the basket near it. And, if it isn't a huge impostion, when you get done and dried off and in your snugglies:
6. blow me
7. Start at one, above.


Surprising that no one caught it....
Nevertheless; my apologies to all.


Well, that just completely ruined it for me.



quote:

This is where it falls apart for me. Never mind the bracelets, I love my flannels and comfy pants, with closed bottoms and all. The nail painting I can see, as well as the marking, but the rest seems unrealistic.


do we beat the lies out of you then until your eyes cross and your impared vision becomes cycloptic so you speak out of both sides of your mouth at one time?

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to Kaliko)
Profile   Post #: 112
RE: House Rules - 11/3/2011 5:30:31 PM   
TheFireWithinMe


Posts: 1672
Joined: 10/3/2011
From: The Depths of Hell
Status: offline
Pics or it didn't happen

_____________________________

Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags

There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast. ~Author Unknown

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 113
RE: House Rules - 11/3/2011 5:31:46 PM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fragilepieces

Ohh so would not work for me but the biggest thing would be I KNOW MEN.

He is engrossed in some tv show.
"Sir may I use the rest room?"
"Sir?"
Wave my brown bracelet frantically in his face.
"Sir?"
Pass gas
"SIR. please now?"
Shit all over his feet, kiss his cheek and his eyes are still glued to the tv.


_____________________________

yep

(in reply to fragilepieces)
Profile   Post #: 114
RE: House Rules - 11/3/2011 5:39:08 PM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline
As to the list, some of it I would love.  Without making my self a list of chores for the weekend to actually check off, I tend to just piddle away the weekends.

The asking to pee and the wearing of the bracelets is just too strange for me.  My bladder subs to no one.

I think "honey I am raggin, if ya don't wanna mess we best do it in the bathtub or grab the beach towels, or ya might wanna use the backdoor tonight" would work much better.


_____________________________

yep

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Profile   Post #: 115
RE: House Rules - 11/3/2011 5:39:37 PM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko


quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Mon Dieu!!!! I have made a heineous, grevious social and political faux pas in my list...here it is revised.

1. Blow me
2. make supper
3. get me a beer
4. Blow me
5. I am going to read a book, or watch tv there is a warm bubbly soothing bath for you to soak in the candles are lit there is a chilled glass of white wine on the edge and chocolates in the basket near it. And, if it isn't a huge impostion, when you get done and dried off and in your snugglies:
6. blow me
7. Start at one, above.


Surprising that no one caught it....
Nevertheless; my apologies to all.


Well, that just completely ruined it for me.



quote:

This is where it falls apart for me. Never mind the bracelets, I love my flannels and comfy pants, with closed bottoms and all. The nail painting I can see, as well as the marking, but the rest seems unrealistic.


do we beat the lies out of you then until your eyes cross and your impared vision becomes cycloptic so you speak out of both sides of your mouth at one time?


Bubble baths and candles aren't my thing. Flannels and comfy pants? Can't live without them.

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 116
RE: House Rules - 11/3/2011 5:42:37 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
If he's getting a blow job at least twice daily, then she isn't ever having sex with him. Because past about age 18 or so, men do start to slow down. By 35 I would doubt he could cum twice daily.

More importantly, he's given her a list of things to do but he doesn't do anything himself past handing out this list which is preprinted. She has all the responsibilities and he has all the rights. No wonder his relationships never last, the women lose respect for him quickly.


_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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Profile   Post #: 117
RE: House Rules - 11/3/2011 5:46:08 PM   
Iamsemisweet


Posts: 3651
Joined: 4/9/2011
From: The Great Northwest, USA
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While I think there is room for improvement on the OP's list, to put it mildly, I like the idea of a list, in concept.  The OP's list might even be bearable, under the right circumstances, like he was keeping me in the style that I like and there were plenty of blue boxes involved  (Just kidding, I am not looking to be financially supported).  Seriously, though, a negotiated list of responsibilities and rights isn't such a bad thing.  I think there are unspoken lists in almost any long term relationship.
Case in point.  My friend is getting a divorce.  One of the things that her soon to be ex is pissed off about is that he believed that they had an agreement that once the kids were grown, she would get a job.  She was unaware that this was their arrangement. but he is still angry with her about not getting a job when the kids graduated, and is at least trying to justify the divorce to her on that basis.  If they had had a list, at least she might have known.  Maybe a bad example, but who doesn't have a list of expectations of their partners?
Mnotters list is one I could get behind, though.  Simple, pleasurable, clear.

EDITED TO ADD.  OK, I am sure there are a whole bunch of people who are going to respond saying  "I don't have a list of expectations."  I bet I can even predict who they are. 

< Message edited by Iamsemisweet -- 11/3/2011 5:49:14 PM >


_____________________________

Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.
The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
Alice: How do you know I'm mad?
The Cat: You must be. Or you wouldn't have come here.

(in reply to Kaliko)
Profile   Post #: 118
RE: House Rules - 11/3/2011 5:46:39 PM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

If he's getting a blow job at least twice daily, then she isn't ever having sex with him. Because past about age 18 or so, men do start to slow down. By 35 I would doubt he could cum twice daily.





Well, he does say "attempt" and "offer" on the oral sex...not that it's actually happening.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 119
RE: House Rules - 11/3/2011 6:00:10 PM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline
Many times I would suck and suck and suck-lol.  No probs with an erection, and he would say "If I had any cum left in me, it would be yours,  but you have drained me".  Still good times, watching his eyes roll back in his head.

_____________________________

yep

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Profile   Post #: 120
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