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darchChylde -> RE: Domme's Inboxes........ (11/6/2011 1:44:30 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus
Tell us how you feel Darch, I need some validation!
These are from an old thread of miner about self-diminishing user names, but they are pretty specific on my thoughts of male submissives in general
quote:
ORIGINAL: darchChylde
The reason that this type of thing is a major pet peeve of mine is that i ultimately see it as a reinforcement of the stereotypical idea of the male submissive that many (mostly male dominants and people that are vanilla but have a basic understanding of the rudiments of Ds... though i've seen it in female dominants and submissives as well; this is also a sentiment that i am guilty for hold against most male submissives i know in the real world) still hold... that of the "gimp", or the spineless puddle of flesh in a male body.
For this reason, i tend to get a little offended (and amused) when i get the comment "Gee, i would have never guessed that you were a submissive.". Like, what did you expect? A snivelling coward unable to stand up for myself and with no personality beyond that which might be ascribed by the one holding my leash?
Yes, i am guilty of viewing male submissives under this same stereotype; but it is only because so many of them seem to hold it up as the ideal to be perpetuated. If i, as a submissive myself, see little of worth in other male submissives; why should i be surprised if others do the same (to me even)?
quote:
ORIGINAL: darchChylde
quote:
ORIGINAL:
Does it matter? At the end of the day, you get positive attention and they get nothin'... what more do you want?
That's easy, i want other to act in such a way that i am not so often served with an automatic disrespect because of the stereotype perpetuated by others who call themselves male submissives. i watch dominants of both genders get a certain level of automatic respect from the community, even submissive females.
But i've had a number of conversations over the years where i could be talking with someone casually at a social or such, and we get along man-to-man (at least in the case of a male dominant) until it comes up that i don't have a "girl" there, and in fact a submissive myself. Sometimes in words, sometimes not; but often i am immediately disregarded as a human being completely.
i know that this is a gripe that many subgroups have in many areas of society, but it sickens me that i often have to be exceptional to be given the same respect as just about everybody else does.
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