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RE: When people "stick up" for you -- - 11/10/2011 11:26:08 AM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		That's really interesting OsideGirl. ^_^  and good point, Greedy -- people can read things in so many different ways.


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RE: When people "stick up" for you -- - 11/10/2011 11:28:45 AM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

I think something along the lines of "I appreciate your concern, but the dynamic that X and I share has been agreed upon and is well in place. It works for us, and we're happy with it. I understand that from an outsiders POV it may be unusual, or baffling."


OP, you want to remember a phrase? The above is it. For those who have the dynamic where the dom does the speaking, they the dom should use this phrase.

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: When people "stick up" for you -- - 11/10/2011 11:30:37 AM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

and the added complication that a lot of people assume i'm underage for some reason.


In another few years, you will LOVE when people assume you are underage for some reason. Enjoy that one while it lasts! When someone makes that assumption, just smile widely, and say, "Thank you so much! I hope people assume I'm younger for a very long time."

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: When people "stick up" for you -- - 11/10/2011 11:31:46 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		~cackle~ love your story Oside Girl. H e could make you wait a long time in OR out of the car! It's only manners if he hops to it, Greedy!

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(in reply to GreedyTop)
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RE: When people "stick up" for you -- - 11/10/2011 11:32:15 AM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

WTF Oside?? Not too many years ago (and still in a lot of places) that is considered GENTLEMANLY CHIVALRY!!


I was thinking the exact same thing. It's horrible that feminism has made so many people think it is rude for one person to do something as simple as opening a door or pulling out a chair for another person (male or female).

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: When people "stick up" for you -- - 11/10/2011 1:09:02 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
Master has a rule that I don't open my own car door. I wait beside the car until he opens the door and I wait inside the car until he opens the door. He does this as a form of control. It's funny how people will make a comment about how "whipped" he is. They view it as him waiting on me, when in reality I'm waiting for him.


I have this exact same experience. Often times I am waiting for him to load all the groceries in the car and I get looks as though I'm the spoiled princess who won't open my own door lol. Once his daughter asked "Are you really going to just stand there until he opens your door?" and I smiled and said "Yes I really am". She was impressed lol.

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(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: When people "stick up" for you -- - 11/10/2011 1:10:05 PM   
ScottFreakshow


Posts: 25
Joined: 9/19/2011
Status: offline 		I tend to be kind of blunt. I would say:
Just because I am a submissive doesn't mean that I don't have a voice.
A voice that I wouldn't hesitate to use should I feel that he is mistreating me in any way.
I urge you to focus on taking your own inventory, as the situation at hand is not an issue.
If you would like a better understanding of the dynamic, feel free to ask me questions and I will answer to the best of my ability.
I urge you to be open-minded and non-judgemental to my answers and respectful in your interaction with me.
I will aim to do the same for you.


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and if you gaze into the abyss,
the abyss gazes also into you."

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(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: When people "stick up" for you -- - 11/10/2011 1:11:23 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

WTF Oside?? Not too many years ago (and still in a lot of places) that is considered GENTLEMANLY CHIVALRY!!
Yup, and he makes little old lady's heart go pitter patter. They'll come up to us and gush about how refreshing it is to see a gentleman. It's usually some guy in his 20's who makes the comment.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

~cackle~ love your story Oside Girl. H e could make you wait a long time in OR out of the car! It's only manners if he hops to it, Greedy!
Oh trust me, he has. And on one notorious occasion he forgot me. He got out of the car at Home Depot and a friend walked up and started talking. They stood there for about 5 minutes and then starting walking into the store! I'm texting him..."I think you forgot something....." He had to lie and tell his friend that the door was broken and wouldn't open from the inside so he had to go let me out. (It's a Miata, so climbing over isn't feasible)


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(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: When people "stick up" for you -- - 11/10/2011 1:14:27 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady


quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

WTF Oside?? Not too many years ago (and still in a lot of places) that is considered GENTLEMANLY CHIVALRY!!


I was thinking the exact same thing. It's horrible that feminism has made so many people think it is rude for one person to do something as simple as opening a door or pulling out a chair for another person (male or female).

At this point it's not entirely feminism. It's also the "gangsta" image that so many of Gen Z want to portray. They're on facebook bragging how they're gonna go out and "slap a ho".

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Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: When people "stick up" for you -- - 11/10/2011 1:14:37 PM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		awww haha ^_^ that's a very funny little story. =p 

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RE: When people "stick up" for you -- - 11/10/2011 1:32:58 PM   
Winterapple


Posts: 1343
Joined: 8/19/2011
Status: offline 		I have experienced this but from a friend
not a casual acquaintance which made it
doubly frustrating as she should know me
well enough to not jump to the conclusions
she did. Efforts to explain dynamics and
other things were futile. The one thing I
learned from it is that kinky and kink friendly
are very individual things.
What to say when someone starts
misinterpreting and sputtering?
"Calm the fuck down if it doesn't
bother me it shouldn't bother you"


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(in reply to LillyBoPeep)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: When people "stick up" for you -- - 11/10/2011 1:48:13 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep
in situations with kinky people, i figure it shouldn't even have to be explained

You mean like here on CM? Oh come now, surely you don't expect anything higher of "kinky people" than the general clueless, assuming public?

Many people are full of incorrect assumptions. Fortunately, a lot of them aren't so ignorant as to force them upon us in public. Some are. Sorry that keeps happening to ya. I agree that having a pat phrase to say will make it much easier in the future.

luci

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(in reply to LillyBoPeep)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: When people "stick up" for you -- - 11/10/2011 3:10:24 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		The fact that people frequently believe you're underage is probably coloring their perception, Lilly. They may think you're vulnerable and being taken advantage of. Which makes them good, if misguided, people for trying to protect a minor.

You need to just laugh and say you've already been carded three times this week and when will it end.


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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: When people "stick up" for you -- - 11/10/2011 3:17:47 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

WTF Oside?? Not too many years ago (and still in a lot of places) that is considered GENTLEMANLY CHIVALRY!!


Nup. There's something pretty good about watching a woman get out of a car.

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(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: When people "stick up" for you -- - 11/10/2011 3:26:54 PM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		Ah that's a good point, luci =p like we haven't gone round and round here about the definition of words and what suchnsuch2009 really said, and and and...
you're right -- i guess i just figured that they would at least understand the idea of a power imbalance and unconventional conventions. =p

and Des, you might be right there, maybe they do think i'm someone who doesn't know better, but not necessarily in a malicious way. =p and like LafayetteLady said, if it's still this way when i'm 40, i'll be pretty happy about it. =p hahaha

i do like this from Winterapple -
quote:


"Calm the fuck down if it doesn't
bother me it shouldn't bother you"


hahaha ^_^ thanks for the suggestions from everyone.


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Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica


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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: When people "stick up" for you -- - 11/10/2011 3:31:54 PM   
hlen5


Posts: 5890
Joined: 3/2/2008
Status: offline 		Lilly was this a vanilla event where people don't know your preferences?

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: When people "stick up" for you -- - 11/10/2011 3:50:51 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline 		 
Carry a zip-top baggie full of pet-poopy to throw at people who annoy you -- I'll give you some if you don't have a pet.



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It's only kinky the first time!!!

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: When people "stick up" for you -- - 11/10/2011 3:54:26 PM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hlen5

Lilly was this a vanilla event where people don't know your preferences?


not exactly -- it was a campout with all manner of wacky behavior. flogging in public was "tame." =p  and even then, we were off in a more private area where self-proclaimed "very kink friendly" people were hanging out.



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Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica


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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: When people "stick up" for you -- - 11/10/2011 7:10:45 PM   
HeatherMcLeather


Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline 		While I haven't encountered anybody doing the sorts of things described so far, that's just because we don't have any of those sorts of rules. But I do regularly get people trying to "save" me. All three of us do. It seems that the idea that the three of us really could be very happy to be with a woman 10 years our senior and all together is simply beyond the comprehension of a lot of people.

Many of them seem to automatically assume that we have been coerced, duped, or manipulated into it in some way, that we are somehow naive and vulnerable and that has been used to trick us into this relationship. There have been several people openly expressing that sentiment right here on these boards <it was more prevalent before the "they don't exist" meme cropped up>.

This annoys me no end. I know that most of them are well meaning, but it is highly insulting all the same. What I usually do is just ask them if they are my legal guardian. That shuts them up most of the time. If it doesn't, then I just refer them to Hanners for further discussion.

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: When people "stick up" for you -- - 11/10/2011 7:15:14 PM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline 		To me, the fact they chose ti stick their nose in your business, for any reason, is just wrong.

Kinky or not, I can not imagine saying something like she said to anyone. 

People are strange.




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yep

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)
Profile   Post #: 40
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