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RE: You mean we're not equals? - 5/28/2006 10:19:33 PM

dombill32

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I call that a very lucky person

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RE: You mean we're not equals? - 5/28/2006 10:21:27 PM

BlkTallFullfig

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster
What about a dom with two subs?

quote:

ORIGINAL: dombill32
A dom and sub together is two sides of the same coin.

Greedy or lucky, lol. M

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RE: You mean we're not equals? - 5/28/2006 10:29:30 PM

dombill32

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Greedy, Lucky, or Very Talented

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RE: You mean we're not equals? - 5/28/2006 10:31:13 PM

BlkTallFullfig

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quote:

ORIGINAL: dombill32
Greedy, Lucky, or Very Talented

Well, LaM is very talented or so I've heard, lol... I'm personally too scared of him to try and find out for myself. M

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 5/28/2006 10:32:09 PM >

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RE: You mean we're not equals? - 5/28/2006 10:33:04 PM

dombill32

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Im not sure who LaM is but if he is very talented that means he or she has 2 subs and so is greedy and lucky :)

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RE: You mean we're not equals? - 5/28/2006 11:09:06 PM

IronBear

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quote:

ORIGINAL: strongnsubmissiv

Equal: Having the same quantity, measure, or value as another.

I regularly flip through profiles here at collarme, and amongst the many things in Dominant profiles that make me shake my head, one is the notion that submissives are not seen as equals. This perplexes me and i can't imagine myself being in a relationship with anyone who doesn't think of thier partner as an equal.

Perhaps it's the meaning of equal that is sort of lost in translation. Surely, by engaging in a D/s relationship, it would appear that the freedom of actions and choices of a submissive are restricted, yet i fail to see how that has anything to do with "worth" or "value".

For me, this lifestyle is all about two people in love, who's sexualities perfectly compliment each other, equally.

This is another one of those threads which I just don't have suffucient time on line to devote entirely to the CM Forums and thus I haven't read all this thread, but shall instead address myself to the OP.

Now I'm the first to admit that I have no practicalexperience in the D/s area, but to say that it is about " this lifestyle is all about two people in love, who's sexualities perfectly compliment each other, equally." and admittedlky the OP did state that it was for him. My view if this is all about what he sees as being the lifestyle as view through his personal filter is way off track when it is posted in a public forum and probably could have been couched in better terms of reference frames.

If we look at the original concept as was showm in the heading of this thread and enlarged the reference frame to all aspects of BDSM and associated lifestyles, then in would be so far off center that it would be incomprehensable... There are many areas in life where from the insider's view no way will many people be seen as equal to the minority. You don't have to like it or even accept it buy it is undenyable that when certain lifestyles or other cultures and even cultures exist and there adherents to the view that some are far ahead of the rest and those behind can ever be equal to those in front the beliefe will be self sustaining.... Within the alternative lifestyles we can argue that the Gorean slaves can never be equal to theGorean Free Man or Free Woman and that the Gorean Free Woman can never be seen as equal to the Gorean Free Man. Not one holier than thou person who is not living within the Gorean Lifestyle has a single right to attempt to change the dynamics or to try to destroy the lifestyle because they do not agree with the precepts of such a lifestyle. To do so is paramount to any person demanding that all of you drop all your beliefs and beliecver what the single zelot states is correct. Wars have been fought for less than this single thing, and I dare say will be done so again and again....

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RE: You mean we're not equals? - 5/28/2006 11:28:14 PM

leakylee

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Well I seem to be on the soap box tonight, so what the hey. While I may not be sub human or qualify as any less of a person, I by no means expect equality with my owner. That is the whole point of my submitting control of myself. Choosing to surrender that power negates the issue of equality. Now this does not negate my responsibility to myself, or my intelligence, or my capablitiles, it simply redirects them.

That is my opinion.

love and light
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RE: You mean we're not equals? - 5/29/2006 12:28:06 AM

Lordandmaster

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That'd be me. And BTF, come on down, I don't bite. I let Peach take care of that.

quote:

ORIGINAL: dombill32

Im not sure who LaM is but if he is very talented that means he or she has 2 subs and so is greedy and lucky :)

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RE: You mean we're not equals? - 5/29/2006 12:50:29 AM

BlkTallFullfig

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster
That'd be me. And BTF, come on down, I don't bite. I let Peach take care of that.

It's not biting I fear; it's the energizer battery/excessive control/priapism thing which means I would only survive if we had Peach and a blow up doll to save me.

M

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RE: You mean we're not equals? - 5/29/2006 12:51:16 AM

Lordandmaster

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Peach takes care of the priapism if it lasts more than four hours. Don't want to end up in the emergency room, you know.

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RE: You mean we're not equals? - 5/29/2006 1:39:05 AM

becca333

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I told a Dom that I felt so guilty because I was getting so much pleasure and he was doing all the work (of course, I was tied up at the time...)

I got a whole extra punishment for saying that - he assured me, in his own special way, that he was having a very fulfilling time too!

We all bring our special gifts to a relationship, and receive even more in return.

If I'm interacting with others in chat, or wherever, I don't expect to be treated as someone lesser because I'm a sub. I'll show politeness and respect to Dom/mes and Tops, but I'll show the same to other subs too. It's called good manners.

The problem seems to be that some people feel that they're excused from showing good manners because of their incredible importance (please note, I see this more in chat than on the boards, and I'm definitely not throwing this at anyone on this thread - we don't seem to have attracted the lunatic fringe on this one yet.)

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RE: You mean we're not equals? - 5/29/2006 2:05:54 AM

ClassAct2006

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Sometimes it's just the way people use words which makes it look like there's a difference. I believe all men and women are created of equal value whatever their IQ, disability, colour or sex. I'm a Catholic and also have quite a sense of justice/injustice. I only go out with dominant men who respect me and see me as equal, albeit different. In fact I love men who are cleverer/ better than I am but that does not mean we aren't equal.

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RE: You mean we're not equals? - 5/29/2006 5:08:50 AM

agirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster
Of course it's not equal. I do what I decide and she does what I decide. How is that equal?

....grin.......I know a man that says the same thing..lol
Not surprisingly, neither you nor LaM's girl think this is a problem within a D/s or M/s relationship go figure... I wonder if this is one to be listed among the differences between men and women within BDSM. M

Of course it's not a problem.....if it works, and is accepted then it's not a problem.

Where does the male and female *difference* enter into it?

Regards, agirl

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RE: You mean we're not equals? - 5/29/2006 5:36:13 AM

Dollbecky

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You are right.
I utterly agree
I am glad there are others who think this way

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RE: You mean we're not equals? - 5/29/2006 8:01:47 AM

ownedgirlie

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*Using Fast Reply*

If I have no rights but what he gives me, how does that make me equal to him? Actually, to be honest, I don't spend any time contemplating my equality or inequality to him. To me it simply doesn't matter. We are two partners in a dance. He leads and I follow. He decides what I do, and I do it. My life is so enhanced with him in it that I honestly don't care how we are defined, nor does he. If forced to answer, I would say I'm probably not equal to him. I don't call him by name, I don't tell him what to do, I don't challenge him in ways which are inappropriate, I don't have expectations that an equal partner would. My role is that of servant, pet, slave. My place (where I am most comfortable and peaceful) is beneath him. This does not mean I am less human, and it does not mean I am less than equal to anyone lese.

But really, I don't actually think about it. He rocks my world and that's all that matters!

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RE: You mean we're not equals? - 5/29/2006 12:16:03 PM

KnightofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

What about a dom with two subs?

quote:

ORIGINAL: dombill32

A dom and sub together is two sides of the same coin.

good question

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RE: You mean we're not equals? - 5/29/2006 12:22:39 PM

KnightofMists

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frankly I think Celeste stated it clearly right of the top.

Equal immediately refers to a comparison or measure. Be it Authority, Value, Control, Wisdom, Skill or whatever.

In some aspects one is equal, In others we are greater and then again in others we are lesser. The question is... what is being measured. When you read a profile that states one isn't equal ... what exactly are they saying that are unequal at. Authority, Value, Intelligence or some other thing. More than likely is alot of things.... so consider carefully what is being measured.

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RE: You mean we're not equals? - 5/29/2006 12:33:50 PM

iliv2servher

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The very nature of the dominant/submissive relationship requires that one person defer to the other. This is a basic requirement for any BDSM relationship to work effectively. Each of us has our own personality, which either dictates or becomes submissive to. I believe that if we do not acknoweldge who is the dominant and who is the submissive, and the boundaries and roles are not established, then there is no contract and no BDSM relationship.

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RE: You mean we're not equals? - 5/29/2006 12:44:44 PM

scratchingpost

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All I know is that if I felt that My sub was not "worthy" why the hell would I be wasting My time with him/her? W/we are equal/opposite one cannot be Dominant if They do not have anyone that will submit to Them and one cannot be submissive if they have no one to surrender To

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RE: You mean we're not equals? - 5/29/2006 12:58:35 PM

BlkTallFullfig

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quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl
Where does the male and female *difference* enter into it?
Regards, agirl

I responded to this when LaM said he didn't think it was gender related either...   My real time experience has been with 2 men who indeed submitted while they were with me, and were no longer mine when we were no longer compatible in terms of D/s or long term desires/needs; that's not counting the 1-2date types I've met which have not worked for different reasons (chemistry, understanding, or outlook).

There is no shortage of women who say "of course we aren't equals, he determines what will be final within our relationship; he does what he decides, and I do what he decides."   No sane person is measuring human worth with these statements when speaking about consensual relationships with the ones they care for or love.
My opinion based on what I've read from these boards, is that a great deal of women are comfortable with power exchange or authority tranfers relationships, and a great deal of men are not comfortable with it or are only comfortable with it from a sexual standpoing.

quote:

scratchingpost
All I know is that if I felt that My sub was not "worthy" why the hell would I be wasting My time with him/her?

Why are you replying to me as if I ever said this? Of course a man has to be worthy in order for me to consider a relationship with him; otherwise, I have inanimate and human toys to play with should the need arise. Yes as human beings, we all have a great deal to offer one another. In a D/s or M/s relationship, while we are equals as human beings we are not equal in the way we exert influence within said relationship.

quote:

one cannot be Dominant if They do not have anyone that will submit to Them and one cannot be submissive if they have no one to surrender To

That is where we differ... I'm not here looking for bottoms to play with. I'm dominant all of the time because that is just the way I am, regardless of whether a man/submissive is around.
I will either be in a relationship with a submissive man, or a dominant man who does not attempt to undermine my will/personality and we have enough in common to live in harmony... So I disagree that one is only dominant if he/she has a submissive counterpart. M

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