quote:

ORIGINAL: iliv2servher
The very nature of the dominant/submissive relationship requires that one person defer to the other.  This is a basic requirement for any BDSM relationship to work effectively.  Each of us has our own personality, which either dictates or becomes submissive to.  I believe that if we do not acknoweldge who is the dominant and who is the submissive, and the boundaries and roles are not established, then there is no contract and no BDSM relationship

Bravo!   

I might have to take back my observation of subs on these boards if you and other boys keep talking like this.   M

quote:

ORIGINAL: scratchingpost

All I know is that if I felt that My sub was not "worthy" why the hell would I be wasting My time with him/her? W/we are equal/opposite one cannot be Dominant if They do not have anyone that will submit to Them and one cannot be submissive if they have no one to surrender To

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ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl
Where does the male and female *difference* enter into it?
Regards, agirl

I responded to this when LaM said he didn't think it was gender related either...   My real time experience has been with 2 men who indeed submitted while they were with me, and were no longer mine when we were no longer compatible in terms of D/s or long term desires/needs; that's not counting the 1-2date types I've met which have not worked for different reasons (chemistry, understanding, or outlook). 

There is no shortage of women who say "of course we aren't equals, he determines what will be final within our relationship; he does what he decides, and I do what he decides."   No sane person is measuring human worth with these statements when speaking about consensual relationships with the ones they care for or love.
My opinion based on what I've read from these boards, is that a great deal of women are comfortable with power exchange or authority tranfers relationships, and a great deal of men are not comfortable with it or are only comfortable with it from a sexual standpoing.  

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Yes, I saw that and noted it. I think my question overlapped your reply there. I understand what you meant and thanks for replying, also.

Regards, agirl

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)