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[Poll]

Biases on collarme?

Posters tend to be more sympathetic to women

24% (24)

Posters tend to be more sympathetic to men

0% (0)

Posters tend to be more sympathetic to subs/bottoms

9% (9)

Posters tend to be more sympathetic to Dominants/Masters

8% (8)

Posters tend to be more sympathetic to slaves

3% (3)

There tends to be an anti D/s bias here.

3% (3)

There tends to be an anti M/s bias here.

7% (7)

Posters tend to take women more seriously.

9% (9)

Posters tend to take men more seriously.

2% (2)

Other

34% (34)

Total Votes : 99

(last vote on : 10/8/2012 7:10:16 PM)
(Poll will run till: -- )

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RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/11/2011 10:12:12 PM

SweetCheri

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quote:

I don't know, Pamela. Somehow I doubt anybody here would tell me or another they dislike to, "fuck off."

I take it you haven't spent much time in Montreal then.

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RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/12/2011 12:03:20 AM

gungadin09

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ColeYote
I feel like there is a *tiny* amount of bias against subs who aren't the unquestioning, "yes sir/ma'am, right away sir/ma'am" type. This may just be my experience, though. Mostly because I said in another thread that I can't imagine I'm the type who's going to clean the bloody house unless I'm provided with a bit more incentive. Some others made a few less-than-true assumptions in light of that.

Funny, i think the opposite. i tend to see the "yes sir/ma'am" types as being criticized for lacking common sense, having low self esteem, being victimized, or living in Castle Realm.

pam

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Post #: 82

RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/12/2011 2:58:57 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko

quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09

Do you think there's a bias against honesty? Do you think the biggest bias around here is for, or against, individual posters, instead of genders or orientations?

pam

Maybe, technically, "bias" is the right word, but it doesn't feel right to me used in these examples.

People get their feathers ruffled with honesty when it's presented in a manner which...well...ruffles their feathers. It's not the honesty....it's the delivery. Some people like to be rough and confrontational, some people like to be blunt and succinct, some people type up walls o' text. It's just what we respond to positively, I think, more than what we respond to negatively. So, a bias against honesty? No, but maybe just a preference for discussion in a certain manner.

And an inclination to respect or throw out the opinions of certain posters is based on one's experience reading that person's posts. I view a bias as being the responsibility of the person who is biased. I view someone who has ticked me off enough to not want to read their posts as the responsibility of said poster.

I understand this is your POV, that the bias is not against honesty, but against the delivery.

To a certain extend I have to agree, since often the delivery of said honesty is couched in terms of "I'm right and your not, and I'm going to stick around and argue with you, b/c I know I'm right."

I find that beyond aggravating and try not to get pulled into it.

It's my firm opinion that it's not the honesty that is so annoying as the need certain posters have to demean those who don't buy into their particular worldview. Awareness comes to mind, as he has the male superiority thing going on, to the point he can't see anyone else's position on it. In his mind, he's right and that's it.

Despite this, I always read Awareness, b/c he tends to be a very honest poster (when he's not being demeaning). His worldview is so different from mind, yet I still find myself agreeing with him at times, and he even (occasionally) gives me reasons to ponder my *own* worldview.

Now Arty boy (another male supremest) I only read if I have time and only for the humor factor. I can't take him seriously.

So I often read people I don't agree with, b/c I'm not here to get my worldview validated, I'm here to get it challenged.

And although I am happy to do a certain amount of validation for others if I really agree with what they say, that is not my primary reason for being here. I admit there are times I read something that Hannah, Lockit, Lady P or LaTigreese (and others) write and think I could have written that myself.

My primary reason for being here (aside from the entertainment value) is to help advise where and when I can, and to challenge what I perceive to be as inflexible worldviews.

I find those posters who are just here to have their worldview validated, and to argue endlessly when it is challenged, to be tedious beyond belief.

But I read quickly and for the most part can scan over the bull crap.

< Message edited by ChatteParfaitt -- 11/12/2011 3:47:13 AM >

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Post #: 83

RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/12/2011 3:35:58 AM

TheFireWithinMe

Posts: 1672
Joined: 10/3/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

For me, It isnt so much the bias between gender/orientations ect that gets me. It is the bias against what different folks have as kinks.

If we cant be tolerant of each others kinks on here of all places, we might as well go home (figure of speech as I`m sat at home typing)

That's the sense I get also. I've been told that my dynamic was abuse even though it was completely concentual.

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Post #: 84

RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/12/2011 3:48:08 AM

TheFireWithinMe

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quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynn

quote:

Do you notice what other reason people give for obeying or wanting to obey?
it's natural. it's just the way i am. its comfortable. it fulfills me. its a spiritual thing. its how i was raised. its the way god ordained things. it makes him happy. its just the way we like things.

and on and on and on. anything but fucking admit that d/s is a fucking kink that gives them wood and gets them wet. though to be honest the bulk of that crowd isn't posting very regularly these days, so i think us horny sluts are in the majority at the moment.

just go back and revisit any of the fucking "its not all about sex" threads and you'll see what bizarre convoluted rationalizations people use to avoid admitting that yup, it makes me fucking horny.

as to a bias? the switches feel there's an anti-switch bias, the male doms feel there's an anti-male dom bias, etc., etc., etc. personally i think the way any given question gets treated depends on the fucking positions of the sun, moon, and stars. a question asked one day can get you torn to fucking shreds, and the same question the next day will be discussed seriously. there's no real fucking rhyme or reason i have been able to discern <of course i don't really give a fuck, so maybe i just haven't really paid enough attention>.

and like chatte said, there's bound to be a bias here. "here" is made up of people and people are fucking biased. so the biases that are perceived are those shared by the majority of the posters who are active at that time.

Yes it makes me wet but it doesn't ALWAYS make me wet. I know you don't want to believe it but it's true.

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Post #: 85

RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/12/2011 4:00:41 AM

TheFireWithinMe

Posts: 1672
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetCheri

quote:

I don't know, Pamela. Somehow I doubt anybody here would tell me or another they dislike to, "fuck off."
I take it you haven't spent much time in Montreal then.

QFFT! People here do that all the time. All you have to do is study road traffic to see it.

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Post #: 86

RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/12/2011 4:39:12 AM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko

quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09

Do you think there's a bias against honesty? Do you think the biggest bias around here is for, or against, individual posters, instead of genders or orientations?

pam

Maybe, technically, "bias" is the right word, but it doesn't feel right to me used in these examples.

People get their feathers ruffled with honesty when it's presented in a manner which...well...ruffles their feathers. It's not the honesty....it's the delivery. Some people like to be rough and confrontational, some people like to be blunt and succinct, some people type up walls o' text. It's just what we respond to positively, I think, more than what we respond to negatively. So, a bias against honesty? No, but maybe just a preference for discussion in a certain manner.

And an inclination to respect or throw out the opinions of certain posters is based on one's experience reading that person's posts. I view a bias as being the responsibility of the person who is biased. I view someone who has ticked me off enough to not want to read their posts as the responsibility of said poster.

^ ^ ^ This. Completely and unequivicably, this.

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Post #: 87

RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/12/2011 5:51:58 AM

NocturnalStalker

Posts: 3858
Joined: 12/4/2010
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quote:

On the other hand, i find that people here are more honest than in real life, as a rule. You don't have to tell someone to fuck off to be honest with them. Being a jackass and being honest aren't one and the same, and yes, i've even told people i like here to fuck off.

And I think that being miles upon miles away at an undisclosed location to lob out whatever honest opinion you may have is a lot easier to do than it would be to do face-to-face.

quote:

I take it you haven't spent much time in Montreal then.

Isn't that the place where Canadians pretend to be French?

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Post #: 88

RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/12/2011 5:56:03 AM

TheFireWithinMe

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quote:

Isn't that the place where Canadians pretend to be French?

No it's the place where English is virtually illegal

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Post #: 89

RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/12/2011 7:22:59 AM

LadyHibiscus

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I really have a hard time telling people to fuck off...but believe me, I do it in my mind all the time! Or just put them on hide, like NS. And Awareness. If he has something worthwhile to say, someone will quote it to express their amazement.

I am here for the entertainments. I am on Fetl for the entertainments. There are some select discussion groups there that I participate in for the mind expansion (or explosion) but we really don't talk about kink in any of them. Which is why I'm here for the entertainment factor, I really don't have a huge interest in discussing kink, it feels "done" to me.

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Post #: 90

RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/12/2011 7:44:05 AM

HannahLynn

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quote:

And I think that being miles upon miles away at an undisclosed location to lob out whatever honest opinion you may have is a lot easier to do than it would be to do face-to-face.

you mean saying shit like this?

quote:

Isn't that the place where Canadians pretend to be French?

i fucking dare you to say that in st-leonard, nobody would be bothered by your posts again. or even fucking better any place in the kingdom, they'd never find your fucking body.

talk about the fucking bravery of being out of range.

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Post #: 91

RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/12/2011 7:48:32 AM

tazzygirl

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Kana makes me wet, so does Awareness... and a few other men.

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Post #: 92

RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/12/2011 7:54:43 AM

Sundowner

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch

quote:

ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather
...
an anti-newbie bias.

This.

What she said and she said.

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Post #: 93

RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/12/2011 7:57:00 AM

LadyHibiscus

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I still think it's an anti STUPID bias, Sundowner. We have newbies that are welcomed because they have fucking brains!

Or else we're just a bunch of vinegary old bats (regardless of calendar age) and heaven help everyone!!

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RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/12/2011 8:04:57 AM

LaTigresse

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I can honestly say that none of the men that post here make me 'wet'.

Someone has brought up a bias towards posters and....what to do about it. Nothing. Quite honestly there is nothing that can be done by the general population. The very most you can do would be to not get sucked into the shit. I will admit that I have been more often that I am thrilled about.

Most of the shit is almost exactly like the middle school girl bullying I saw 35ish years ago. To be honest, I see a lot less of it now than I did a year or so ago. And quite honestly, most of the culprits were female and identify as submissive or slave. A few of the culprits were single males that identify as dominant. Nearly all of the culprits spent most of their time in Random Stupidity being not so randomly stupid. There were a rew posters that are/were obviously less fortunate in a few ways, that the randomly stupid twats used to take every oportunity possible to tear apart, quite often under the guise of being 'helpful'. They got away with it consistently. I remember more than once emailing one of the twats victims and encouraging them to ingore the dumbasses.

Human beings will always be some of the least admirable animals on this planet. It's the way were are made. We can only make every attempt to take responsibility for ourselves and how we want to be seen, what impact we have on others and whether or not we can be proud of how we treat others.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 11/12/2011 8:07:04 AM >

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Post #: 95

RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/12/2011 8:19:01 AM

tazzygirl

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I think every section has those types of bullies, LT. With an extremely few exceptions, I dont believe there hasnt been someone I havent disagreed with at one time or another.

There are some I have disagreed with only once or twice... and some it seems every time we post, we are at different ends. But I can also see past the person to what is posted... usually. Oh, yeah, there are a few exceptions even to that. Some people are just... well... antagonistic in my view.. it also depends on the topic.

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Post #: 96

RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/12/2011 8:40:53 AM

Sundowner

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I still think it's an anti STUPID bias, Sundowner. We have newbies that are welcomed because they have fucking brains!

Or else we're just a bunch of vinegary old bats (regardless of calendar age) and heaven help everyone!!

Anti stupid is not a bias in my mind - it's simply doing one's bit to cleanse the gene pool. (I distinguish between those who are stupid, should know better, claim to know better and those who simply have low IQ; CM can be surprisingly gentle sometimes with those who are just "challenged").

And I thought it was part of the Terms of Service that once one demonstrated one was a vinegary old bat one was allowed to lose the funny little ice cream cone.

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Post #: 97

RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/12/2011 8:44:49 AM

shivermetimbers

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quote:

ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather

Actually, I think that is due to an anti-newbie bias. Once a poster has been around a while and established their forum self, they can get away with things that a new poster can't. I'm not exactly sure why that might be, but it seems it is, maybe we feel more comfortable discussing blatantly sexual things with people we have a bit of a guage of, somebody we have a feel for who they are and how they click. [/color]

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Post #: 98

RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/12/2011 8:44:55 AM

BossyShoeBitch

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I still think it's an anti STUPID bias, Sundowner. We have newbies that are welcomed because they have fucking brains!

Or else we're just a bunch of vinegary old bats (regardless of calendar age) and heaven help everyone!!

Like it or not, CM has a reputation for ripping newbies to SHREDS.

Not just the trolls.

Sometimes they are just innocents who use the wrong wording, and they get mercilessly berated.

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Post #: 99

RE: Biases on collarme? - 11/12/2011 8:49:00 AM

LadyHibiscus

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I know we have that reputation, BSB, but "innocents"? I don't know how many of those we have. I am ready to admit that I hold people to a higher intellectual standard and I EXPECT that they come here as adults with a certain mental capacity. I am proved wrong often, but I keep dreaming!

There is a lot of pouncing that could be handled more gently, and I have been working on that with myself. The guy that wanted to wank in "public", for instance. He got jumped. He didn't really mean PUBLIC, he meant "in a club where people can see me". Others have wanted to fuck in the town square, and yanno? They deserve to hear the "range of opinions".

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