RE: Girls, why did it fail?

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RE: Girls, why did it fail? - 5/27/2007 2:04:51 AM

m0rgan

Posts: 403
Joined: 3/19/2007
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to no-one in particular;
no matter how comforting it is to assume or pretend it is the other person's fault, often it just fucking isn't!! beyond a certain point, it doesn't matter much whose fault it is anyway, but if you kidded yourself in the first place, you are probably kidding yourself most of the time anyway!
what is it, by he way, about all the wankers that engage in a conversation, then disappear (some admit that in this string) what the fuck is the point?? forgive my bluntness, but those that do that, then bleat about every other fucker, must live in la-la-land!! i bump into more than my share of those.

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Post #: 81

RE: Girls, why did it fail? - 5/27/2007 4:35:17 AM

adoracat

Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline

my "almost-was" on collarme didnt work because i have a strong need to know where i stand, even if its "right now, in consideration to see if this will work". he wouldnt give me the comfort of that, and indeed, had a habit of cutting off communication entirely. i was going into a stressful situation (a week in the presence of the person who abused me most during my childhood) and he didnt think that i needed any comfort or support during that time...he also decided that he wanted 24/7 and a long term relationship, both of which he'd not mentioned before...24/7 was/is not possible and he knew that the first time he contacted me. i wished him the best of luck in finding the person he needed, and cried.

during this time, Sir had also been talking to me on a friendship basis (and the other gentleman knew this) and he was able to provide friendship and support and care for me while i was away, and we grew closer. so close he asked me to be his. i gladly agreed.

thats been a couple of months ago now....the first gentleman called me after about a month of no contact and decided that i was worth the effort after all, and would i consider begining again? i wasnt rude to him, but i did decline. i still wish him well, i still hope for his happiness. i just know his style of domination is not what i need to make me happy...and if i'm not happy, eventually he wouldnt be, either.

kitten, who doesnt see this as blame on one or the other of us, just a bad timing as far as a buttload of stress goes, and a personality fit that just was not very good.

(in reply to m0rgan)

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Post #: 82

RE: Girls, why did it fail? - 5/27/2007 9:13:13 AM

soultoshare

Posts: 519
Joined: 8/24/2006
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Well, actually, things were progressing fairly moderately...what caused the relationship to fail was his sudden desire to use my (accepted by him) hard limits as a punishment......just FYI...NOT a good way to keep a slave! And what's worse, is when he gets my request to be released, (he's currently out of town), he's going to think that the request is being made because of the punishment, NOT because I feel betrayed and unable to trust him. He'll just call me a fake, or not a true slave, and be done with it. But I can't be with someone I can't trust...vanilla or M/s. Up until this occurred, I wasn't having any problems with his plans for me. In fact, I was seriously looking forward to them!

(in reply to dogobedience)

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Post #: 83

RE: Girls, why did it fail? - 5/27/2007 10:55:46 AM

shyinini

Posts: 550
Joined: 5/4/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: dogobedience

As I stated previously, I use this site for many reasons. Sometimes to help others learn, sometimes for my benefit. Who has been dropped, or dropped recently and why, so others can learn and grow.

Sir...you kept this topic going a whole year !!

Yes I noticed that.

My answer Dog....
I also have seen the profiles you speak of.....
1) found my perfect One
2) in love
3) couldnt be better
4) blah blah blah.....

2 weeks later....damn he was a ....
jerk
bastard
asshole
fake
wannabe
blah blah blah

Why accept responsiblity for the fact that ya (these ladies) might have been way too trip happy or way too stupid or way to horny for a hard fuck, way to gullible...

I dont even call this a roller coaster....
its a bungie cord !!

After 1 yr.... I began to realize he wasnt all that into me
After 2 yrs ... I began to realize he had walked away
Then I began to know myself again and find what I'd lost...myself.

I could blame him for a hell of a lot of shit....but why?
I let the LOVE thing get in the way...learned my lesson the hard way.

I think some submissives want to fall in love.... *sigh

It might not be about a relationship after all.... just bdsm, being a bottom, kinky sex.... and a trip on the bungie cord, with love at the bottom !!

I have been told not all submissives are submissive

Sir's sincere slut

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Post #: 84

RE: Girls, why did it fail? - 5/27/2007 12:41:40 PM

angelic

Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
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puella, not knowing your situation at all, i think i can relate to your feelings. It has taken me several months to realize that 'we failed each other'. (Although i do believe the end result was mostly of his own making), i also believed that i would love him for the rest of my life (scumbag that he is). i have since spent a great deal of time reflecting on where and what my fault was. Here it is: my biggest fault in the entire debacle of the relationship was that i stayed when i should have ran about 4 years earlier.

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Post #: 85

RE: Girls, why did it fail? - 5/27/2007 12:44:55 PM

angelic

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Joined: 1/24/2005
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Although not really a "newbie".. i allowed myself to trust him and he was not worthy or deseving of my trust. i will not make that same mistake again.

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~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci

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Post #: 86

RE: Girls, why did it fail? - 5/27/2007 9:21:53 PM

mjsismj

Posts: 1
Joined: 10/7/2006
Status: offline

smiles, my opinion is. Men are hunters, they love to hunt and seek. The submissive once attained is no longer a challenge, and they seek that "rush" of the hunt again .........many times without staying to enjoy the meat they just triumphed over.

mj

(in reply to candystripper)

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Post #: 87

RE: Girls, why did it fail? - 5/28/2007 12:32:55 AM

DominaSmartass

Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
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Good question! I entered the scene as a curious switch who was open to anything when I met a man much older than myself who decided to make me his slave, despite my belief that I really wasn't one. Well, I gave it a shot and to be honest, I knew very early on that it wasn't right and especially that he was "a mistake" as you put it. It took me 8 months to fully "get it" to the point of leaving him, but I will say I technically knew very early on. I dunno...the 2nd week? I think what you are seeing is a result of many different factors. Lots of these relationships happen online. Someone is collared one day and uncollared the next and really, since it's all virtual, it's relatively easy to jump in and out of relationships. But it happens in realtime too, as with me. Some people are lucky enough to find the real thing but come on, you know that most of the doms on here (male and female, I'd dare say) are simply losers on power trips who shouldn't be given the responsibility of caring for a hamster, much less a human being. I do think more highly of those who post on the forum because it shows they have an interest in learning and sharing, expanding their horizons. But as far as the average CM user goes, I don't trust them any farther than I can throw them (yet unfortunately subs will put a lot of stock into a dom they find appealing without delving too deeply into him/her as a person.)

I also think that many have a feeling of urgency when it comes to being in a relationship and getting a collar. If you take the first dom that comes along after coming out into the scene, chances are it's a mistake.

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(in reply to dogobedience)

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Post #: 88

RE: Girls, why did it fail? - 5/28/2007 7:56:54 AM

daddysliloneds

Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: dogobedience

When did you become aware that the one you choose (YES DOM'S, they FIRST usually pick us, then we TAKE CONTROL, not until then) was a mistake.

i've never had a relationship that i would call a 'mistake'; i have had relationships where we grew apart, outgrew each other, or where we weren't on the same page when came to priorities, goals, family values, etc.

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Post #: 89

RE: Girls, why did it fail? - 5/28/2007 11:22:57 AM

CelticPrince

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Joined: 4/15/2005
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dog,

it is at times refered to as "sub frenzy" in which there appears to be such an urgent need to connect that caution is throw to the wind and their emotions rule no matter what!

The D then determines some important facts that were not present on the surface and then comes the crash!

it work the other way around also.

CP

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Post #: 90