RE: Ask the Demon (Full Version)

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VandalHeart -> RE: Ask the Demon (5/27/2006 1:14:58 AM)

Dear Silly,

I realized that with the idea of vanilla almost completely removed from my life (I still have 5.6% left to demolish on my purity test...necrophilia and scat to go), it would be nice to get it back somehow, and I actually do enjoy the flavor.  So as much as I love you dearly, you can now join bitatruble and fuck right off.  Not just fuck off, fuck right off.

Besides, you know I love the smell and taste of vanilla.  The bean too.  [sm=evil.gif]

Hope that explains,
Lord Vandal Heart



BitaTruble -> RE: Ask the Demon (5/27/2006 1:19:36 AM)

Jamacian Blue Mountain! What the fuck? Do I look like a DuPont to you? I'd have to get a ::gasp:: JOB to be able to afford that stuff! If I was working, I couldn't sit on my ass all day eating bon bons and watching Oprah through the bars of my cage!




glidewynd -> RE: Ask the Demon (5/27/2006 1:20:12 AM)

High 5's Celeste and offers her a steamy cup of Millstone's "Bite of Seattle" blend

Dear Vandal,

If I ever go out for coffee with you, will I be allowed to bring nose plugs to fend off the sweetened stench of your coffee?

(good to be here Vandal.....but your thread is keeping me up way too late tonight, lol)



glidewynd -> RE: Ask the Demon (5/27/2006 1:24:59 AM)

Dear Vandal,

So I was right about the dead people on the purity test? [:D]



BitaTruble -> RE: Ask the Demon (5/27/2006 1:26:22 AM)

quote:

you can now join bitatruble and fuck right off.  Not just fuck off, fuck right off.


yeah, well.. she's got that straight thing going on and I'm a little bit twisted.. don't think she's gonna say yes.. but I'm taking her up on the offer of coffee.. mud is better than dessert! [sm=hair.gif]



VandalHeart -> RE: Ask the Demon (5/27/2006 1:26:23 AM)

Dear Offended Nostrils

NO.

Sincerely,
Lord Vandal Heart



VandalHeart -> RE: Ask the Demon (5/27/2006 1:29:58 AM)

Dear Preaching to the Choir,

You were talking about the best coffee in the world, not the standard of coffee drinking.  You said that your coffee was the only stuff you drank, implying that you would never drink anything else.  When you come and see me, you will have to beg - and I mean a LOT - to get some of my Jamaican Blue.  But just to clarify, you would like some, right?

I love catching people with their own words.  And this is a hell of a lot of fun, guys, thanks for making it so entertaining.

Sincerely,
Lord Vandal Heart



VandalHeart -> RE: Ask the Demon (5/27/2006 1:32:35 AM)

Dear Zombie Queen

I maintain my refusal to answer specifically what led me to a score of 5.6%.  But to answer your question while raising another eyebrow, no, I have never had sex with a dead person.

Guess if I'm joking,
Lord Vandal Heart



LaMalinche -> RE: Ask the Demon (5/27/2006 1:33:37 AM)

Dear Demon,

We use over 40 tonnes of sulphur every year to produce 2½ million matches. If this continues, by the year 3500, we will have produced 400 billion, billion, billion, billion, billion, billion matches.  That's a lot of matches!

Are you sure that we have enough sulfer resources?

Wondering in Kansas

BTW Demon, I thought that EVERYONE knew that coffee should be drank black.

Best,

LaMalinche

Did I miss a fucking meeting with the coffee? You can get every other flavor except COFFEE FLAVORED COFFEE. They got mocachino, frapachino, chocochino, crapachina, rapachino, Al Pachino. WHAT THE FUCK, www.whatthefuck.com.



BitaTruble -> RE: Ask the Demon (5/27/2006 1:37:03 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: VandalHeart

Dear Preaching to the Choir,

You were talking about the best coffee in the world, not the standard of coffee drinking.  You said that your coffee was the only stuff you drank, implying that you would never drink anything else.  When you come and see me, you will have to beg - and I mean a LOT - to get some of my Jamaican Blue.  But just to clarify, you would like some, right?

I love catching people with their own words.  And this is a hell of a lot of fun, guys, thanks for making it so entertaining.

Sincerely,
Lord Vandal Heart


Oh, oh, oh.. I love playing with you. [:D]

Never used the word 'best'. Never said I only drank the ONE TRUE COFFEE.. (I drink mud every time I go out!) just that I think it's the ONE TRUE COFFEE.. Jamacian Blue Mountain isn't coffee.. it's gold.. and if it's got flavoring in it.. it's crap.

As for begging.. don't get me wrong.. I looooooooove coffee.. but if I was there.. I'd be begging for something that's a LOT hotter than coffee.. [8D]

[sm=shake.gif]



NastyDaddy -> RE: Ask the Demon (5/27/2006 1:39:45 AM)

Dear Demon,

Why do those little room signs by hotel room doors have little braile bumps on them (so a blind person can find the right room)... but in the same respect the credit card room key has none on it to indicate which way to swipe the damn thing?

Do they want blind people to get into their rooms a little bit slower, what's the deal?

Do blind people knock on their own room doors?

Is there anybody in there to let them in?

This makes no sense, or either I may be just a lil confused, not sure.

But we need equality especially if the sight impaired traveler has to pee...



VandalHeart -> RE: Ask the Demon (5/27/2006 1:44:52 AM)

Dear Wondering about Combustibles,

First off, sulphur is not the only thing used for matches.  Second, new sulphur deposites are being found every day.  Third, the Law of Conservation  of Mass states that matter can only change form, not be created or destroyed, so we'll get that sulphur back sooner or later, don't worry.  Lastly, don't think some bleeding-heart environmentalist chit talking is going to get you out of wax play.

Nice try,
Lord Vandal Heart



VandalHeart -> RE: Ask the Demon (5/27/2006 1:46:45 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

As for begging.. don't get me wrong.. I looooooooove coffee.. but if I was there.. I'd be begging for something that's a LOT hotter than coffee.. [8D]

[sm=shake.gif]


Dear Knows Exactly What to Say,

Giggity

Sincerely,
Lord Vandal Heart



VandalHeart -> RE: Ask the Demon (5/27/2006 1:53:31 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: NastyDaddy

Dear Demon,

Why do those little room signs by hotel room doors have little braile bumps on them (so a blind person can find the right room)... but in the same respect the credit card room key has none on it to indicate which way to swipe the damn thing?

Do they want blind people to get into their rooms a little bit slower, what's the deal?

Do blind people knock on their own room doors?

Is there anybody in there to let them in?

This makes no sense, or either I may be just a lil confused, not sure.

But we need equality especially if the sight impaired traveler has to pee...



Dear Missing the Point,

Schadenfreude.  It all comes back to schadenfreude.  They put the braile on the doors to conform to regulation.  They didn't put the brail on the room keys because it's funny to watch the blind, or anyone for that matter, to fumble like an idiot with a credit card that everyone told them was a door key.  Now shut up before a lobbyist hears you and all our fun is ruined.

Hope to hear you laughing when I burn in hell for that statement,
Lord Vandal Heart



LaMalinche -> RE: Ask the Demon (5/27/2006 1:59:18 AM)

Dear Demon,

What is the proof for this Theorom? 

[image]http://upload.wikimedia.org/math/c/b/7/cb7bde8008e81be5e9e1d0d97e125f84.png[/image] 

Puzzled


Best,

LaMalinche

Decaf is the anti-christ




Rumtiger -> RE: Ask the Demon (5/27/2006 2:21:04 AM)

Dear Demon,

Should I start my own "Ask the Tiger" thread?



VandalHeart -> RE: Ask the Demon (5/27/2006 2:22:42 AM)

Dear Puzzled,

I am not doing your homework for you.

Another nice try,
Lord Vandal Heart



glidewynd -> RE: Ask the Demon (5/27/2006 2:27:46 AM)

Dear Vandal,

I'm having trouble sleeping.  Will you sing me a lullaby?



VandalHeart -> RE: Ask the Demon (5/27/2006 2:27:55 AM)

Dear Impersonator Like Me,

My immediate answer is, of course, no.  I'm a selfich bastard and I want all these helpless plebes...I mean awesome folks to myself.  Upon furthur consideration, however, I would say this: wait until everyone here gets fed up with my bullshit (which probably won't be long after that comment) and go right ahead.  I waited until Loki's Q&A thread stopped showing up on the first page of the Polls and Other Random Stupidity forum, then went right ahead.

Now, for the morality part of your answer: you are going to get in a lot of trouble without having any fun if you go oin like this.  Remember - it is always easier to ask forgiveness than it is to ask permission.  Plus it gives you a head start if you don't think they will forgive.

Hope that helps,
Lord Vandal Heart



VandalHeart -> RE: Ask the Demon (5/27/2006 2:32:16 AM)

Dear Sleepless in Seattle (LOOK YOU WERE ASKING FOR IT),

Sure.  Come on over and I'll sing you to sleep.  Do you prefer Metallica or Black Sabbath?

As if I'd let you sleep if you got here anyhow.

Hoping to do unspeakable things to you,
Lord Vandal Heart



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