RE: For the Submissive Guys.....

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RE: For the Submissive Guys..... - 11/18/2011 4:40:12 PM

Lockit

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Or they could just be lying and its how they work.

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RE: For the Submissive Guys..... - 11/18/2011 6:04:39 PM

LookieNoNookie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NiceButMeanGirl

I know this is Ask a Mistress, but I'm asking this here because it seems like this is where the sub guys seem to hang out most....or, I could be wrong, but anyway....

Honestly and for real, and totally withOUT judgment, I want to know what sub guys would really like from a D/s situation? Be as detailed or short and to the point as you want. Of course, I know the answers will be as varied as the guys are, but I am really just curious. I get letters in my inbox and I ask them, but sometimes they're vague on what they're looking for until I draw them out more.

NiceButMeanGirl

Sorry....wtf is your actual question?

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RE: For the Submissive Guys..... - 11/18/2011 6:43:37 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie

quote:

ORIGINAL: NiceButMeanGirl

I know this is Ask a Mistress, but I'm asking this here because it seems like this is where the sub guys seem to hang out most....or, I could be wrong, but anyway....

Honestly and for real, and totally withOUT judgment, I want to know what sub guys would really like from a D/s situation? Be as detailed or short and to the point as you want. Of course, I know the answers will be as varied as the guys are, but I am really just curious. I get letters in my inbox and I ask them, but sometimes they're vague on what they're looking for until I draw them out more.

NiceButMeanGirl

Sorry....wtf is your actual question?

The bolded part is my actual question.

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RE: For the Submissive Guys..... - 11/18/2011 6:49:13 PM

LadyHibiscus

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JJ's just messing with you, babe! And bless hi, he's very clear about what he wants!

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RE: For the Submissive Guys..... - 11/18/2011 6:53:16 PM

daveynocollar

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Arrogant but not abusive.
Confident but not uncaring.

That's all I ask.

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RE: For the Submissive Guys..... - 11/18/2011 7:05:31 PM

lizi

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quote:

ORIGINAL: daveynocollar

Arrogant but not abusive.
Confident but not uncaring.

That's all I ask.

And that is exactly the problem.

Someone stop me before I knock my head through the wall.

Thank you for being so kind as to demonstrate exactly why the practice of not being specific at all is so frustratingly dehumanizing (dewomanizing?) to Dommes. It's frustrating to submissives too, I can't tell you how many times some guy was sufficiently entranced by my brief profile with no picture and proclaimed me under consideration! Before I ever knew what he looked like, what his name was, or if he had teeth.

The whole -I'll try to be as general as possible in order to get off - is just

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RE: For the Submissive Guys..... - 11/18/2011 7:12:21 PM

Lockit

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LOL... I so love when they claim me! Like I was just sitting around waiting for someone to do that! Really makes my ego inflate!

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RE: For the Submissive Guys..... - 11/18/2011 7:23:41 PM

daveynocollar

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quote:

not being specific at all

Oh darn. When I try to be specific, the response is that I hand them a "laundry list".

I understand the frustration of someone being overly vague , but bear in mind that having specific wants is often viewed as a severe negative. I barely know what to say anymore....

< Message edited by daveynocollar -- 11/18/2011 7:25:31 PM >

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RE: For the Submissive Guys..... - 11/18/2011 7:26:37 PM

LadyHibiscus

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How about talking about yourself as a human interested in another human?

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RE: For the Submissive Guys..... - 11/18/2011 7:28:12 PM

Kana

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

How about talking about yourself as a human interested in another human?

Oh Jah, now the girl, she talk da crazy talk

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RE: For the Submissive Guys..... - 11/18/2011 7:30:42 PM

LadyHibiscus

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C'mere boy, let me massage yer dick with mah TEEF!

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RE: For the Submissive Guys..... - 11/18/2011 7:30:54 PM

Lockit

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I wouldn't call something a laundry list unless it was a laundry list. Basically the difference is this for example:

I want her to love strapons, to humiliate me, to be demanding and push my limits.

And...

I want her to be kind, but firm, demanding when she wishes to be and have some of the same hobbies and shared values that I have.

See where one is focused on kinky, lifestyle and the other is focused more on a woman you can share more with? We don't just want to be someone that can do these things... we want to be seen as a woman that is worth more to you than others are. Not just filling a spot.

So if you give kink and nothing else, that can be seen as a laundry list. Where if you are talking personality traits or something else... it is more meaningful, less offensive and better all the way around.

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RE: For the Submissive Guys..... - 11/18/2011 7:31:17 PM

daveynocollar

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

How about talking about yourself as a human interested in another human?

Yes exactly. I don't want to be demanding or exactingly specific, as that would be just rude and a breech of common courtesy.

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RE: For the Submissive Guys..... - 11/18/2011 7:37:27 PM

LookieNoNookie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

So, are you saying that men have an array of potential answers that they will tailor to the dom in question?

Or that they are going to be passive aggressive and make the dom work for it?

Or that they are clueless and waiting for some good suggestions?

NBMG is newish to submale hunting, and I feel her frustration, because the above answer, though very sincere, is VERY TYPICAL of the nailing-jello-to-the-wall stuff we have to wade through.

Is it honestly so hard to say WHAT YOU NEED, or even think that you need? So what if you get kicked to the curb, that means that you and that dom were not a match, and no time wasted on either part.

Sorry to hijack, NBMG, I couldnt keep silent. (shock~)

Gawwwwd.....how entirely fucked up would THAT be? A Domme....hoping for a sub who had some balls.....but you have to carry all the weight?

Ya know...it's still always a man's world (always will be)....women want to be taken care of (and the older they get...the more they want to be taken care of), on the other hand...men are (ultimately) supine beings.....wishing some woman (a Domme) would give them direction.

And then....with the right woman (and the right man)....they'll go conquer the world...slay dragons for you.

Honestly, I can't imagine anything more stressful than being a Domme to a sub......conversely.....I can't imagine being anything other than a sub to a good, powerful Domme.

Conundrum.

The never ending cycle of finding what we all seek.....peace.

Conundrum.

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RE: For the Submissive Guys..... - 11/18/2011 7:42:29 PM

LadyHibiscus

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Oh, JJ. In a parallel universe, you, me and Niney are a fucking hot triad.

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RE: For the Submissive Guys..... - 11/18/2011 7:53:06 PM

daveynocollar

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

So if you give kink and nothing else, that can be seen as a laundry list. Where if you are talking personality traits or something else... it is more meaningful, less offensive and better all the way around.

I get it. I've always had positive interaction on CM and this is probably the first time I "stepped in it". My response was in relation to the OP: " Be as detailed or short and to the point as you want".

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RE: For the Submissive Guys..... - 11/18/2011 7:57:49 PM

chiaThePet

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I always ask, "What would Jesus do?"

So I expect my Dominants to tie me to a cross and whip me.

What?

chia* (the pet)

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RE: For the Submissive Guys..... - 11/18/2011 8:00:07 PM

Lockit

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quote:

ORIGINAL: chiaThePet

I always ask, "What would Jesus do?"

So I expect my Dominants to tie me to a cross and whip me.

What?

chia* (the pet)

I would rather go a ring of thorns around your manly bits. But hey, whatever trips your trigger.

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RE: For the Submissive Guys..... - 11/18/2011 8:18:54 PM

chiaThePet

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

quote:

ORIGINAL: chiaThePet

I always ask, "What would Jesus do?"

So I expect my Dominants to tie me to a cross and whip me.

What?

chia* (the pet)

I would rather go a ring of thorns around your manly bits. But hey, whatever trips your trigger.

"Deck the boys with boughs of barb wire, fa la la la la, la la la aaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

I love this time of year!

chia* (the pet)

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RE: For the Submissive Guys..... - 11/18/2011 8:20:35 PM

Lockit

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ROFL... For some odd reason, I am getting into the holiday spirit myself!

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